Intelligence and personality matter A LOT

wtknight · 2022-03-27T03:46:04+00:00

Re-flaired as CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-03-26T22:36:27+00:00

I'm dumb af and women love me

Explain that, atheists

meteorness123 · 2022-03-26T22:31:00+00:00

Being able to do high level math, but lack a sense of humor and ability to have fun, is a problem.

Being able to have fun, but being dumb as a rock, is a problem.

You need to be well-rounded. I'm an intelligent guy so will only date intelligent women. But,she needs to be nice to look at. Not a 9-10 as I've found the, to be high-maintenance. I like the 6-7 plain Janes who haven't been pedesalised their whole lives. I've had both types and I much prefer the more simple ones. Must be fit though.

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-03-26T22:19:39+00:00

There’s more than one kind of intelligence. Sure some people can do calculus in their sleep, but if they aren’t well spoken that doesn’t matter. Even if they’re well spoken, if they can’t read social cues, they’re still gonna have a hard time.

There’s also people who are artistically gifted or incredibly physically coordinated beyond how normal people are. Both of which might make you interesting and help your career, but in general won’t help your people skills

2022-03-27T00:11:26+00:00

There's a reason autistic people of both genders do worse...

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-03-26T22:04:55+00:00

There's plenty of book-smart people who have the social intelligence of a potted plant. It really is amazing. Even something like being able to crack jokes, engage in conversations with new people easily, or adapt your approach to an interaction based on social cues are forms of intelligence that the fine STEMlords of PPD constantly seem to forget exist.

FlamingCoochies · 2022-03-26T23:25:41+00:00

So what you're essentially saying is that as long as you hit the minimum "attraction thresold" of a woman then your personality will reach her? I mean, that's not false but physical appearance is still relevant as it makes you able to show off your personality.

If you have the wit of a Jon Stewart, you're literally invincible.

Best Green Lantern

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-03-27T02:27:08+00:00

Women prefer men who similarly educated or higher and not it's not because of "beta bucks" lmao.

Yes it is because he is beta bux, because intelligence serves utility. A man's personality is not interesting unless it serves some utility, otherwise he can just be a hot Himbo that reads a lot and that's enough.

The only intelligence that matters is the intelligence that is applied to the world; and/or has utility. What would a woman care about how intelligent a man is if he only uses it to maladaptively daydream about society all day. The internet is loaded with intelligent men with functionally useless intelligence levels. If he has no skills to apply it and/or it makes no significant difference in the real world and serves no utility, unlike a man of 120-130 IQ and above average intelligence. Even men of 100 intelligence are more useful than a genius. Many geniuses cannot function socially because they are too intelligent even for the affluent types.

An IQ of 160 is functionally useless in my book. Most people of this IQ level are hit or miss, and most are definitely misses. There is about one Einstein per every decade, the rest are in the basement because they cannot function in the real world.

wub1234 · 2022-03-26T22:49:56+00:00

Social skills aren't difficult. I've always been able to make people laugh.

But I haven't found either to be particularly related to women being attracted to you, or falling for you.

Maybe I've just been unlucky, but I honestly have absolutely no idea how you convince a woman to really want to be with you, to be passionately attracted to you, to fall in love with you. All I can say is that it's never happened for me, and it's never going to happen for me because I'm not going to even try any longer. I've given it my best shot, I don't even want to go out on any more dates.

It would be great if you could seduce women based on personality, intelligence and humour. They can be contributing factors, but ultimately they are poorly correlated with women being attracted to you, let alone are they causal. If they were, I can guarantee that I would have been a lot more successful.

I hope this doesn't sound bitter, because I'm past caring. I just want to enjoy every day of my life from hereon in. But I'll give you an example. I was talking to a woman I dated on the phone today, we probably talked for 1 1/2 hours. We're still really close. Obviously, she likes my personality. I make her laugh. We've shared a lot together. But, when it came down to it, she wouldn't commit to me. I gave her the opportunity to live with me, she turned it down to live with her friend. We're just friends now. I'm not even disappointed; dating her was my last attempt before I stopped, and I didn't for one second expect it to work out. A friendship came out of it, so that's not a bad thing.

Fundamentally, she wasn't viscerally attracted to me. How can I make that happen? There is no answer to that question. That's one of the fundamental problems with dating and discussing dating. Attraction is a chemical and / or spiritual thing that occurs, and no-one really knows why. No-one knows why one woman will go mental for one guy, and another will be completely indifferent to him.

All I can tell you is that humour is not the answer!

TheJim66 · 2022-03-26T22:34:09+00:00

Intelligence doesn't matter. Studies have shown that intelligence is negatively correlated with sexual success. Things that intelligence can get you, like money for example, do matter. Intelligence as a trait, doesn't.

Personality does indeed matter. Just not the personality women and bloops think of but the one TRP describes as attractive.

stats135 · 2022-03-26T23:37:47+00:00

There are diminishing returns with intelligence.

Basically, if you are smarter than a fifth grader, the marginal benefit of intelligence in terms of dating, is minuscule. So for the majority of men, the actionable advice doesn't change: Focus more on looks and less on intelligence.

The only time it would be sexual beneficial to focus on intelligence is if you are at the very top and you can elevate from being an AlphaFux to an AlphaBux, or if you at the very bottom where you are dumber than the average child.

Guitar-Master9891 · 2022-03-27T01:13:07+00:00

I speak four lenguajes, can play three instruments, I've studied laws, antrophology and psychology among other stuff I'm not going to brag about, but I tell you I'm quite formidable in several intelectual fields.

I tell you, when it comes to dating women, if I was given the chance of picking between my intelectual skills and personality or being 6.3', ripped and good looking, I would pick physics over intellect every single day, hands down, without any doubt.

Luckily I'm 6.3' and ripped.

I can't imagine having a phylosophical conversation about the conection between darwinian eugenesic evolution and the sociocultural mechanisms that drive the progress in modern civilizations every time I wanted to have sex with a woman.

The herculean effort!

Come on... Like, do women even care about that?

I made a meta-analisys a few days ago about the female archetype in the subconscious male mind, the evolutive processes behind it and how this is intertweined with male libido as a driving force and the fact that civilizations are organic tools that foster evolutive processes even more.

Guys gave me 30 upvotes and 4 awards, and my Inbox was full of messages of dudes wanting to talk about my post.

One girl showed up, and she just called me a mysoginist.

WTF.

Trying to "sound" intresting to women talking about stuff men think it's intresting is useless. Specially if women don't "see" anything intresting around you.

Not saying men are not intresting creatures, while most are not, I've met quite a lot of genious level minded men in my life and their knowdelege is really impressive. I'm saying women are not that intresting.

If you are an smart guy, don't try to talk about smart stuff with girls, you are going to bore them and make them more dry than Sahara desert.

Intelectual, puzzling conversations work for hot chiks in James Bond's movies, IRL may be once in a full Moon.

Try to be edgy, cocky, tease them, fuck with their heads a little. If they double down tell them they are too short to play hard to get, better to be a dick than a boring chump.

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carcasstribunal · 2022-03-27T00:09:50+00:00

Intlelligence matter, just not a lot. Dont be dumb that is all, nobody cares if you nerd yourself into a topic as long as you have good social skills to make you be perceived as intelligent despite being mediocre at best such as yourself.

Isolation_Man · 2022-03-27T08:08:54+00:00

Nah, you're wrong. Women only care about looks.

poppy_blu · 2022-03-26T23:11:04+00:00

Hard truth: software engineers are no more intelligent on average than people in any other white collar field. They only get paid higher than average salaries because they do boring monotonous work that no one else wants to do in a boring monotonous field.

They do however tend to be lower than average emotional intelligence. And I think that’s why they pick a field where they code all day and don’t have to interact with that many people.

Engineers who don’t mind or like working with people tend to go into civil, environmental, etc.

Slootando · 2022-03-26T23:17:25+00:00

How to improve your personality: Get rich, get jacked, get famous, or get leg-lengthening surgery. You might be surprised at how much more receptive girls are to your personality!

lucid_intent · 2022-03-26T22:10:59+00:00

Yep, make me laugh, hold a conversation and know women’s anatomy. Beard is a plus.

sootlord · 2022-03-26T23:37:59+00:00

Yeah personality and intelligence matters if you understand the game.

But don't get it twisted. If you don't know how t o game operates then your going to fall flat on your face.

nick1812216 · 2022-03-27T00:04:02+00:00

But what if, you have below average social skills, looks, AND below average intelligence?

avantgrandelatte · 2022-03-27T00:55:16+00:00

What women mean when they say 'smart men are attractive' is different to what intelligence actually is. Many people who had much higher than average cognitive intelligence from a young age struggle to form bonds with average people, become introverted and develop social anxiety. Some are literally on the spectrum and see everything differently altogether. On the other hand, there's also a large minority of intelligent people, who like you say, develop a witty personality, having a strong inner child and can be mischievous and playful in to fit in.

Also, there's people who can appear intelligent but actually may not be particularly intelligent at all. These are the good conversationalists who are knowledgeable of the arts, culture, food, languages etc etc. These are typically UMC white kids born into old money and do lots of cocaine.

When women say 'emotional intelligence is attractive' they mean having good game.

Even women who claim to value intelligence will fall for a physically attractive guy who can sexually escalate with ease.

2022-03-27T01:15:19+00:00

Making women want to be around you because they are having fun and enjoying the time is the most important for success at early stages of dating. This doesn't take a ton of raw intelligence, it does take a lot of social intelligence and emotional intelligence to start feeling what women are most likely feeling by noticing their reactions to different things. A big part is just not triggering any one of a thousand different things women would consider turn offs or social faux paus. Not fucking up may be 80% of game.

I don't really think your personality has to be that unique or interesting. Lots of interesting and unique personalities you could talk to for hours and are terrible at dating. The personality part is really emphasizing a part of your personality that is sociable towards women. For every guy this is a bit different. Some guys have the wit and silver tongue, other guys are good listeners and sharing experiences, some are just funny & bold. You don't have that many options that get real results. A small spectrum of what is involved in personalities gets a lot of success with women. Male friends are an entirely different ball game.

ArmDiscombobulated29 · 2022-03-27T01:36:41+00:00

Not if you are Kim K or Yeezy haha I think today this is only true for a small percentage To me it seems just a bunch of people posting half naked pictures of themselves on IG and that’s what people want derrrr

2022-03-27T01:43:16+00:00

There’s never any nuance on this sub.

Wolf_Irene_Fan · 2022-03-27T01:57:38+00:00

I would add that entitlement probably adds to this. We like to simplify the situation as chads and virgins but everyone gets rejected. The problem with education, is that because it opens doors for careers, it’s assumed that it should bring the same value to relationships. A doctor getting rejected will feel differently than the average person. Any thoughts on this?

2022-03-27T02:36:58+00:00

Social skills matter a lot more. Too many “intelligent” or educated people think that’s all it takes to attracts people of the opposite sex.

Also, street smarts > book smarts

AloneOnTheStrange · 2022-03-27T03:02:45+00:00

Intelligence doesn't matter. The money intelligence makes matters. No one wants to hear about how you engineer software. People want to hear about what you bought with all that software engineer money.

Try living in a place where the dumbest people you know can make the same as a STEM graduate with a trade. Watch the actually smart girls flock to them. And then watch those girls turn blank once they actually start talking about the things they apparently study.

MrMushySauce · 2022-03-27T03:14:13+00:00

So, intelligence I would say is best to be above-average in. That way, you seem smart to most people, but you're not too different either.

Highly, highly intelligent people are "wired" a bit differently. It's off-putting to others. For context, I went to an Ivy League school, was considered an eccentric nerd in HS, went there where I "fit in" more and suddenly my jokes hit better (people understood them quickly enough without explanation), and I just overall felt like "these people get me." To this day, if I get a date off OLD, it's almost guaranteed to go better if the girl is highly intelligent too.

Considering the vast majority of the population doesn't fit that mold, it really limits your dating pool for "true compatibility." Women I've talked to since college (when we left that atmosphere) usually relate to that struggle; it's difficult to communicate with average intelligence people.

slavicslothe · 2022-03-27T04:52:58+00:00

Most of the engineering majors I knew didn’t have much of a problem. There was definitely one who was p good looking but super awkward. I liked him but the social skills were not there.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-03-27T06:01:43+00:00

They do, but they are irrelevant if you don't have the looks to figuratively get your foot in the door in the first place.

sarkington · 2022-03-27T06:27:57+00:00

Intelligence does not equal personality

raju1462 · 2022-03-27T06:30:58+00:00

Not more than looks. No amount of wit or intelligence is going to compensate for that if she doesn't find attractive physically.

Physical attractive to her and being decent at talking her up is the minimum threshold. Once that happens, your intelligence & wit will influence if you become a ONS, FWB or LTR.

Lameador · 2022-03-27T07:52:38+00:00

Water is wet

2022-03-27T12:19:12+00:00

! But for people who are at least okay looking !

So it is looks first and whatever second.

"A lot of my friends also care about a woman's occupation."

Not to be rude or anything but... Lets be real here for a second. No man really cares about a woman's occupation unless it's something negative like selling private content or something like that. Men do not really care about that. They lying for good boy points if they claim something else. It is notable though that people in certain occupations tend to date each other but this is more about circumstances than interest. Men do not get hard because of a woman's bachelor degree or whatever.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-03-27T13:10:01+00:00

When people say it doesn't it's unfortunate because they are not as smart as they think and or they are unaware their personality isn't great.

Devourer_of_felines · 2022-03-27T14:51:19+00:00

Women prefer men who similarly educated or higher and not it's not because of "beta bucks" lmao.

Women prefer men who are similarly educated because degrees are a social status symbol and many think having a degree = intelligence.

Intelligence and social skills are a marker of genetic quality

Lol. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the late Stephen Hawking would disagree with your ironically unintelligent take here

NateHate1402 · 2022-03-27T15:26:06+00:00

Seems to me that having high level social skills is much more important than other forms of intelligence or even having a good personality.

High level social skills is essentially a superpower, with it you can get jobs you aren’t qualified for, you can get out of situations most people couldn’t, you can make most people love you within a short amount of time. Mix that with at least an average appearance and you are unstoppable.

Developing those social skills takes a shit ton of work over w few years but it’s definitely worth it.

Kittech · 2022-03-27T15:54:39+00:00

Woman here. Dating two guys at the moment but not exclusive obviously. One guy, an engineer, makes good money and very generous towards me. He's decent looking and likable and we have fun together and good conversations. He treats me very well. Unfortunately, I am just not that attracted to him. He's tried to kiss me and hold me and I usually shirk away. Other dude is more of a blue collar worker but seems fairly intelligent. He's taken me out on one date and seemed concerned about the cost of the meal. I'm also way more attracted to him although we've talked less than the first guy and we've already hooked up. Physically, I am nuts about second guy and all I can say (this has nothing to do in comparison to first guy bc it wouldn't matter regardless) but he is a lot taller, has a nicer body, and an exotic accent. I feel kinda bad about this situation because second guy is always busy but first guy has made a lot of effort to date me but I don't desire him the same way. I wish I did because on paper he's a great catch. I just don't want to have sex with him. Yet I am constantly lusting for second guy.

empresa_josefina · 2022-03-27T16:05:02+00:00

I can find lots of intelligent men who don't get laid, I can't find many physically attractive men who don't get laid...

Smitten_Squire · 2022-03-27T17:27:31+00:00

A lot of "book smart" people are extremely beta and boring af. And women they do get just want them for the money

rhumel · 2022-03-28T00:00:11+00:00

Intelligence is nothing without wit. Intelligence may land you on a good job. Wit may land you on a lover’s bed. Both will surely land you in both.

Transmigratory · 2022-03-28T19:02:43+00:00

IMO as long as you meet a minimum threshold of looks, status and money. THEN personality (and maybe intelligence) can start to matter, or grow on the woman.

The minimum threshold is defined as what is acceptable to the woman, which is their idiosyncratic criteria or if they opt for what is socially acceptable. And in this case, socially acceptable being what social constructs they are bound by; their social circle, family, work friends, some composite and so on.

Attributes like intelligence, and what not perhaps come in when it comes to choosing between men who meet at least a minimum threshold of looks, status and money. Now, the caveat here is to what degree each variable matters to the woman will vary.

If you have the benefit of knowing their dating history, you'll know be able to make a better guess. E.g. if their history shows they tend to go for looks and money often and personality isn't that high of a priority, then you have your answer there.

EasternToe3824 · 2022-03-28T21:51:23+00:00

Nice straw man.

ruboyuri · 2022-03-28T23:53:32+00:00

Not more than looks, at least for men

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-03-26T23:33:42+00:00

It matters to an extent. The problem a lot of men have with it is that they feel that women settle with them for their personality rather than actually finding them attractive.

I'd rather be liked for my looks than personality in that regard.

everythingistaken52 · 2022-03-27T08:26:19+00:00

Intelligence alone is not attractive. If you are already attractive in other ways, then it is a nice bonus. However, intelligence will never be the thing that turns a woman from not being attracted to you into being attracted to you.

Title	Intelligence and personality matter A LOT
Author	meteorness123
Upvotes	55
Comments	302
Date	March 26, 2022 9:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tp5695/intelligence_and_personality_matter_a_lot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/intelligence-and-personality-matter-a-lot.1110110 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110110

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