On this sub and Reddit in general, I often see what I would describe as a weird and confusing reaction to men who admit that the reason they are trying to improve in areas such as looks, fashion , and social skills is to increase their chances of being able to date/get a relationship with a woman. They are often told that this is the wrong reason to be self-improving and that they should be doing it for themselves and not for external validation.

However, this does not really make sense to me. This is what is often suggested to men, particularly romantically/unsuccessful when they ask for advice of how they could start to improve their luck with woman. Therefore, why wouldn't they focus on improving on these areas in order to increase their chances of success? While the idea of doing it for one's own well being and not how others will view you is nice, it is unrealistic. Humans seek external validation all the time, and it can often be healthy. Dating is an important part of life, and with that in mind, practicing self-improvement with the motivation of having casual sex or gaining a relationship is perfectly fine.