Most men don't understand what rape is because they think of women as less.

brooklyn_jinx · 2026-06-13T10:18:40+00:00

Marital rape wasn't a acknowledged by law till the 90s. Let that sink in

Cablepussy · 2026-06-13T10:07:47+00:00

I agree with most of your post but I just want to draw attention to something I notice any of these issues are brought up.

When women have issues it’s something society needs to fix, men included.

When men have issues it’s their problem and they need to fix it themselves.

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-06-13T11:59:35+00:00

I think the disconnect is largely because unless it’s a violently brutal “stranger” rape with other significant physical injuries (which they consider to be the “legitimate” trauma), a lot of men believe that rape = bad sex and in their minds bad sex is still better than no sex.

Think about all of the men who don’t understand that a rape can be devastating and traumatic when the woman was drugged or unconscious and cannot remember it.

Often it’s the same men who believe that men can’t be raped (unless it’s by a man and if the victim is bi or gay it doesn’t count unless it’s accompanied by significant physical injury) and can’t be traumatized by that rape (since it’s sex, right?).

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-13T15:02:44+00:00

Nope, they understand. It’s just that rape serves their interests

This is evidenced by the fact that they also don’t care about male rape, whether from men or women and regardless of age

Generally_Confused1 · 2026-06-13T15:19:07+00:00

Funny, because my experiences reflect that and I recall you specifically saying I was lying and I asked "would you like to know why I was wearing?"

So women don't seem to acknowledge when that happens to men either, though I acknowledge it for everyone. You think it's a gendered problem and that says enough lol

gdognoseit · 2026-06-13T10:59:45+00:00

They would understand it perfectly if a man much larger than them raped them.

They think women are objects and shouldn’t be treated like a human.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-06-13T12:05:46+00:00

I think the disconnect is a lot more mundane than "men think women are less than people."

Most men have never had sex from a position where they could realistically be overpowered. A man who has only had sex with women has never had to ask himself, "What if this person ignores my no and I physically can't stop them?" That's a completely different risk calculation.

They also don't understand the social consequences women navigate around sex. Women get judged for saying yes, judged for saying no, blamed for trusting someone, blamed for not trusting someone, blamed for bad experiences, and blamed for avoiding them. Men often don't see that because they don't live it.

So they look at situations through their own experience and assume everyone else experiences them the same way. That's not understanding another person's perspective—it's projecting your own onto them.

To me, that's why so many of the same men who have terrible takes about consent, coercion, and women's sexuality are also the men constantly being told they need therapy and better emotional intelligence. They struggle with empathy.

Empathy isn't agreeing with someone. It's being able to understand an experience you haven't personally had. If you can't do that, you're going to keep assuming your reality is everyone's reality. And that's exactly where a lot of these conversations break down.

Enough-Business-8287 · 2026-06-13T11:55:13+00:00

I'm not sure about the "most" part, I think that most men have sexist prejudices and some degree of toxic masculanity, however there are men who truly despise women and other men who consider that they're of equal worth but act in a sexist way without realising it and then feel ashamed and wanna rectify their deeds.

Men of the manosphere definitely despise us and view us as less than humans, I've had guys here who told me that if I decide to dress sexily in order to flirt with guys I like, I must accept to be harassed by a man I don't fancy because my behaviour triggered him sexually.

The existence of a young independent woman with a great career who lives out her sexuality and sleep with whomever she wants is an affront to them, they want us to be a sexual material constantly available to them and with no volition of our own.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-06-13T12:08:56+00:00

This just seems like an angry rant, so I’m only responding to the title:

The CDC tracks reports of rape, intimate partner violence, sexual coercion, etc. and while “made to penetrate” and “penetrated” are tracked separately for men there are still millions of victims. Unsurprisingly women make up the majority of the aggressors in the “made to penetrate category” and men make up the majority in the “penetrated” category.

You seem to be conflating men’s understanding of rape and sexual coercion as a concept with… well I’m not really sure to be honest.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-06-13T16:09:30+00:00

I think you're missing another possible explanation.

Most people agree there's a huge difference between a woman sitting alone at home when a stranger breaks in and violently rapes her, and a woman who is somewhat intoxicated with poor boundaries ending up in a sexual encounter she didn't actually consent to with a guy she has been mildly flirting with for a while.

Let me be clear before you jump down my throat (because I don't concent to that): Both situations are wrong.

Both include a violation of consent.

Both should have consequences.

But I don't think most people intuitively view them as the same kind of wrongdoing.

We already do this with other crimes. We distinguish between first degree murder, second degree murder, voluntary manslaughter, involuntary manslaughter, negligent homicide, and so on. Nobody hears those distinctions and assumes we're saying one victim doesn't matter. The distinction exists because intent, circumstances, recklessness, and severity matter when assigning blame and punishment.

There's also a practical problem that doesn't exist to the same degree with crimes like murder: proof.

In a homicide case, there is almost always a dead body, physical evidence, a timeline, forensic evidence, witnesses, or some combination of those things. The central question is usually who did it and with what intent.

In many sexual assault cases, the sexual encounter itself could be disputed. That can leave investigators trying to reconstruct private conversations, intentions, levels of intoxication, and conflicting narratives. In some cases it becomes a genuine he-said/she-said situation where determining exactly what happened is extraordinarily difficult.

PLEASE HEAR ME: That doesn't mean sexual assault isn't real. It doesn't mean victims are lying. It doesn't mean women are lesser people.

It means that some of the disagreement comes from people wrestling with difficult questions of categorization, culpability, and proof, not necessarily from believing women matter less than men.

You can disagree with that position, I take issue with reducing it to "men understand perfectly and simply don't care because the victim is a woman."

The_Laniakean · 2026-06-13T17:04:09+00:00

Some things I genuinely dont realise are wrong until I am told they are wrong. If a gay man did those things to me, I would simply tell no and only make it an issue if he tries to continue. If a woman ever tried to do something to me that I dont like, I will tell her no/stop and only make it a big deal if that doesnt work

sourneck · 2026-06-13T10:29:55+00:00

This whole idea completely falls apart when you discover that everyone, even the most woke woman you've ever known, can watch the blatant raping of a man and not even register that they've just seen a rape. Source: end scene of the movie 'Anora'

PrecisionHat · 2026-06-13T15:02:50+00:00

Rape is a legal term. It's not some nebulous feminist buzzword, despite how people like you try to make it so.

The law distinguishes between fraud in the factum and fraund in the inducement, so it is categorically not rape if, for example, some guy lied and said he loves a woman just to get in her pants.

It is not automatically rape if one or both partners are drunk and have sex.

It is not automatically rape if one or both partners doesn't explicitly ask for consent before doing a sexual act.

It is not automatically rape to ask for sex, get rejected, and ask again.

bluepvtstorm · 2026-06-13T10:16:43+00:00

Are you just realizing that men see women as less? That’s the whole reason why we are even here. For the whole of humanity, men see women as less and so when we ask for things to be equal it feels like they are losing something because women gained not even equality but more than what they used to have.

I started thinking of it this way and will never stop. When in the history of anything has the creation been more than the creator.

Men cannot create other men without women. Women are greater than men but by force and by violence they have subjugated women into believing they are less.

It it can’t create a fully formed sentence without a woman’s tit nurturing it then men are by default the substandard product and have to use force and violence to get what they need. Not even what they earned, just basic necessities.

existentialhack000 · 2026-06-13T11:54:21+00:00

Do men have more empathy for women being raped than women have for men falsely accused of rape?

abaxeron · 2026-06-13T14:45:54+00:00

Most men don't understand what rape is because they think of women as less.

No, we actively reject the progressoid notion and concept of "basically-rape".

They do understand consent like every woman does. They understand that it can be withdrawn.

Consent cannot be withdrawn retroactively, can be given in a state of voluntary mild altered brain chemistry, and is not automatically nullified by social circumstances. A loving married couple having sex after two glasses of wine or a joint is not rape and not "basically-rape". Same goes for a man who outpaces a woman by scientific or military rank, workplace position, salary, six years of age, or whatever the Hell else the progressoids have included in their "power imbalance" circlejerkourse.

They don't do this shit to other men.

Last time I checked, gay male couples are generally more likely than any other arrangement to suffer sexual or physical violence and intimate partner homicide; meanwhile, women are more likely to kill their male than female intimate partners.

how would men themselves react if women asked anything with the threat of violence?

Simps would run to provide this whatever and then lick women's toes in submission and repentance for not doing so yesterday. Example: Baby Moses Laws. "Give us EVEN MORE means to abandon babies without having to pay child support, or we will kill them" - "Yes darlings"

Had to repost the comment, as its previous version seemed too spicy for mod team.

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PropsaI_5 · 2026-06-13T12:18:49+00:00

The argument is on some forms of coercion like nagging or women going along without communicating their no or retroactive withdrawal of consent.

Some men probably do take advantage by artificially creating such situations but if the man isn't aware that the women doesn't want to have sex can you call him to be a rapist?

Rexguy120 · 2026-06-13T17:32:30+00:00

[ Removed by Reddit ]

Dramatic_Gopher42069 · 2026-06-15T23:04:36+00:00

One: I dunno I could take most women, Rhonda rousey or gina carano type would probably due me in. Two - we do, but women will shoot themselves in the foot so long as they aren't the losers in some situations, so its pointless to try and reason with such reactions. Three - physically its a non-starter, so creepy when women suggest that... projecting sleepover activites or sum'n idk. Four - see one, not all that worried.

JollyRoger66689 · 2026-06-13T11:09:37+00:00

"Men don't know what rape is only the alley scenario"

only other example given is coercion which usually is through threat or force

"You want sex have gay sex, because apparently sexuality doesn't matter"

Yeah lemon gecko I don't know what you were trying to do with this post lol. You also complain about your perception of men thinking they are better but so far only one comment straight up thinks their gender is better and you just say "you mostly agree with me".... apparently you don't think women thinking they are better is bad

Podlubnyi · 2026-06-13T14:04:50+00:00

Considering women and especially feminists are forever trying to expand what constitutes rape, it seems to me that many of them don't even know what rape is. That infamous Mary Koss survey was only the most egregious example.

Had drunk sex with someone who was also drunk? Rape (but only of her, not him).

Changed her mind a week later despite consenting at the time? Rape.

Kissed or touched her without explicit permission? Rape.

Completely fabricated the whole encounter? Still rape.

And of course many will vehemently dispute that women raping men, children (or indeed women) should be classified as rape. Others will deny it even happens at all.

Finally, the debate about consent and boundaries is kinda ironic considering women in general have very little respect for male consent and boundaries. Try rejecting a woman's advances and see how she reacts. Perhaps it's because they think of men as less?

EyedSun · 2026-06-13T15:56:14+00:00

Those who have narrow definitions of rape also likely prefer strong causality. If the simple causality doesn't exist, they will create it. Too many conditions or paradoxes or competing details get filtered out as irrelevant noise.

This may likely tie into a general lens through which they see the world. For example, take a person who generally thinks in terms of the immediate in relation to sex. If they don't generally think upstream, downstream, and broadly on such topics, to them, fewer costs exist. And when they emerge, they feel somewhat disconnected to the original, hence not automatically a cost they feel they should absorb.

I am not dismissing or excusing. Like you, I am trying to map out the thought processes underlying their beliefs. If you understand those, you are more likely able to create lasting positive change in how rape is viewed.

Eissa_Cozorav · 2026-06-13T10:03:32+00:00

I know one specific case about marital rape (until knowing this, I was not entirely convinced that there can be "rape" in marriage). The husband basically force his wife to commit into very uncomfortable position during their intercourse, all because the man is addicted to pornography. The wife is always patient, but there is even limitation to good person with empathy. Thankfully the woman has got better man, but the amount of damage done by her first husband cannot be understated. He should be in prison.

abaxeron · 2026-06-13T13:24:37+00:00

Oh cool, Lilith Jr. again, show us what you goooooot! (rrrrrrip) (chomp chomp chomp)

Most men don't understand what rape is because they think of women as less.

No, we actively reject the progressoid notion and concept of "basically-rape".

They do understand consent like every woman does. They understand that it can be withdrawn.

Consent cannot be withdrawn retroactively and can be given in a state of voluntary mild altered brain chemistry. A loving married couple having sex after two glasses of wine or a joint is not rape and not "basically-rape".

They don't do this shit to other men.

Last time I checked, gay male couples are generally more likely than any other arrangement to suffer sexual or physical violence and intimate partner homicide; meanwhile, women are more likely to kill their male than female intimate partners.

how would men themselves react if women asked anything with the threat of violence?

Simps would run to provide this whatever and then lick women's toes in submission and repentance for not doing so yesterday. Example: Baby Moses Laws. "Give us EVEN MORE means to abandon babies without having to pay child support, or we will kill them" - "Yes darlings"

Confident_Editor196 · 2026-06-13T11:11:21+00:00

The probelm with martial rape and dv is that some men actually commit that crime and some women lie about it.

It it was illegal like back in the days then many women would be suffering from it. But in the current situation many innocent men would have their life ruined and face jail time for this.

The best thing a man can do in this situation is to stright up put cameras all around his house, tell the woman about it too.

IgorXY · 2026-06-13T12:21:20+00:00

Hell, on this sub the most prevalent complaint that "women lie" and that makes women evil. How then "men lie to get sex" is okay?

Is "men lie" = rape now? Cause you started your post about rape. Just to make sure, because your other examples I agree with, but here is where I draw the line.

If it's such a ticking bomb, why men don't try to solve it by fucking themselves?

Classic "just be gay" ppd take. I wish I could be gay, honestly. I tried, not my thing unfortunately.

Among those men who "are desperate and will be aggressive" might be some gays. Are they ready to take one for the team?

Well, gays are doing fine, despite being a minority. Wonders can happen when you are not attracted only to the top % of your prefered gender.

Because that means that many men that they knew did shitty things and they didn't care.

Why should they cared? Do you care about women doing shitty things? What soes this part even mean in your post?

Title	Most men don't understand what rape is because they think of women as less.
Author	Lemon_gecko
Upvotes	0
Comments	310
Date	June 13, 2026 9:54 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u4muxq/most_men_dont_understand_what_rape_is_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-men-dont-understand-what-rape-is-because-they.1582720 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582720

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