"Pickmes never prosper" has a point

throwaway477549 · 2024-08-08T18:14:38+00:00

I've never seen a "pick me" in the wild ever, if it's on social media it's most definitely some kind of grift.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2024-08-08T18:25:38+00:00

When men are saying “pick mes are compassionate” they must be referring to women who get shit on for acknowledging men’s rights issues, not the real pick-mes. Right? I would hope so.

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-08-08T18:56:32+00:00

My opinion as a dude is that I would rather date a "pick me" than a eternally-hostile man hater or a "princess" who objectifies her dates as walking wallets.

I find it really attractive when a lady cares about my approval and opinion on things and goes out of her way to return the attention and investment I give her.

That said, while I like the extra attention a pick-me type might give me, a woman putting other women down to make herself look good isn't attractive, and in fact I would see it as a bit of a red flag. If she is that vicious to other women then how is she going to act behind my back, and how will the relationship change once the honeymoon period wears off? Likewise a girl who is too self-sacrificing is a red flag (or maybe more of a yellow flag) because that sort of thing isn't really sustainable long term.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-08-08T18:52:58+00:00

"Pickmes never prosper"

Pickmes are also not real. They want approval from the same small minority of physically attractive men as every other woman.

SaBahRub · 2024-08-08T17:42:41+00:00

Pickmes don’t prosper because no one respects desperation, low self esteem and servility. Even if it’s genuine

flipsidetroll · 2024-08-08T21:36:57+00:00

I will happily put other women down…. If they are hypocrites. Feminists tend to be huge hypocrites. And I will happily put down men who are hypocrites. Redpillers tend to be hypocrites.

Just because someone labels themselves as “traditional” doesn’t mean they have to be doormats. So, if the transformed wife needs to turn mean girl sometimes, that’s her choice. Personally, I see red when someone speaks for me. If they TELL me what I’m thinking or feeling, they are going to get not nice replies back. Feminists and redpillers both do this. They think they can tell me what I’m thinking and feeling and what I should be doing. And they appear to refuse to listen. I’m all for communication, until it becomes one way, then I’m going to call you out on all your hypocrisy. Pearly things is a pick me. But she’s a straight up hypocrite by saying women shouldn’t work, while she works. She says women are meant to be mothers, but she’s vile to her own mother. She constantly attacks women’s looks, while looking very masculine herself. And many other instances.

Can you imagine how much easier life would be if we weren’t listening to people who use our insecurities for their own agendas? Those people want us to stay angry at each other. Do yourselves all a service and research BELL POTTINGER. And how they manipulated the world basically. And all those people involved are still working and didn’t serve any time on jail. And all those banks and newspapers still going. And an entire country was devastated. Then think about now.

Barely-moral · 2024-08-08T19:50:40+00:00

A pick me is a woman that is willing to do anything for male approval. She will embarrass or throw other women under the bus to achieve this goal. The unfortunate thing about a pick me is usually the men they are trying to seek approval from are of poor quality and treat women badly, leaving little real benefit for the pick me.

Defining the term by including defeat in the definition is not a good start.

It is as if I defined women as "inferior to men and made to obey" before arguing about the role women should have.

You shouldn't start by including the conclusion in the definition of the term.

I wanted to preface this, that I 100% agree that it is never okay when it's the other way around either and women are man-haters, it is absolutely reasonable to find this unattractive. I also do not agree with calling women pick mes just because they acknowledge men's right's issues such as the male mental health crisis or the way we treat male veterans.

Fair. See above.

However, I'm seeing comments saying "Pick mes are just genuinely compassionate about men's issues."

Compared to who? Women that never even mention men issues at best and more likely than not demean them?

or a lot of trad wife influencers firing back saying "I'd rather be a pick me, than a SKIP ME." (From Ally Drummond)

Just expressing a preference.

I did not know that at it's base level, bullying and tearing down other women made someone compassionate toward's men's issues.

Look at men. We speak destruction and violence. Tearing down our enemies is the easiest way to show compassion. Or at least trying. Again, compared to the alternative it is better.

It also seems to make someone look very insecure and competitive with other woman.

And this is not a negative.

For example, look at the Transformed Wife's twitter. She proudly brags about being submissive to her husband to the point where he tells her what to wear. Nothing wrong with that because it's a free country. However, then when it comes to other women, the submissive docile act drops and suddenly, it turns into regina george from mean girls. Viciously, aggressively, and angrily tearing down other women who don't fit the narrative of "submissive quiet housewife who's at home 24/7".

And why would a man consider that something bad? She is vicious towards people that oppose what he is opposed to. That is good.

I find it very interesting with the dogma of Christianity and all the rules you need to follow and threats of eternal hell, the sheer idea of just being a nice person is lost on some people. Methinks we need some Buddhist tradwives.

Interesting. Not sure why it is relevant.

I can imagine if you're naturally this toxic, you're going to attract toxic people into your life.

Good argument. It is on the pick me woman to vet. In the same way it is on every woman to vet.

I also noticed that pick me and skip me are often synonyms. Even pretty traditional conservative guys seem to be sick of this kind of behavior, and people like JustPearlyThings who want to be considered "one of the good ones" get called ugly by their own followers.

She is average in looks. She is not a traditional woman at all. Look at her actions. She does not prioritize marriage and children.

I also think that sometimes women can be naturally submissive towards a great man they love, without it even needing to be forced or being a political thing. Just due to having a loving relationship.

I agree. That wouldn't be a pick me though. So it is not something that adds to this discussion.

But however, I feel like if you put on your dating profile "I'm a submissive little good girl with no opinions or personality other than doing housework and birthing out 10 children and I want my husband to discipline me if I even burn dinner" then narcissists are gonna be drooling over that dating profile. Vulnerable people tend to be more likely to be mistreated. Hence why statistically women who are neurodivergent are far more likely to face physical/sexual/domestic abuse.

Again. It is on the woman to vet. Being a pick me does not mean you are lacking in options and brains. She still has the ability to pick the good option between all the bad ones.

You can absolutely be sweet, feminine, care about men's issues, etc without having to be desperate to be picked to the point of allowing abuse, tearing down other women, etc.

I agree. That would not be a pick me so this doesn't add to the discussion.

I also think having to constantly hold back your opinions to the point where you're about to explode and be constantly fake and inauthentic if being submissive isn't your natural demeanor, can create all sorts of pent up anger and bitterness that often makes the children of these pick mes suffer.

Then she is not a pick me. She is pretending to be one.

My grandma is submissive and allows my grandpa to yell at her, and she takes it out often by being passive-aggressive or toxic towards me and my mom

See above.

apresonly · 2024-08-08T18:07:43+00:00

pick mes aren't safe tho. when i was in kindergarten an older boy sexually assaulted me at the park. i knocked on his door and told his mom, who told me "thats just what boys do" and i felt stupid and never told anyone else. i didn't realize how fucked up this was until i was an adult.

pick mes are women who place male validation or "getting along" over their own safety and the safety of others.

its women who do things like date dangerous men despite having children and downplay the severity of sexual assault. (FWIW they seem to be just as bad at taking sexual assault seriously when it happens to men).

Mauf066 · 2024-08-08T20:25:05+00:00

Can someone tell me where you find these pick-mes? I've never seen a woman online or in real life who sacrifices herself for male approval to this extent. I've seen waaaaaay more examples of the opposite

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-08-08T21:28:41+00:00

Do whiteknights prosper then?

Kilatypus · 2024-08-08T18:20:37+00:00

Most people don't use "pickme" althe way you are defining it. It's like how people overuse the "incel" and "simp" as an insult.

Pretty much if a girl does anything to come off as appealing to men, whether it is being considerate towards male struggles or being willing to "please and submit to a man", other women will consider her a pick me. It breeds social pressure for women to act in ways that go against what men want.

Usually a woman's friend group sabotaged a woman's ability to retain a man because they encourage her to act more selfish and rebellious, and try to kill any side of her that is gentle and playful towards men because they think it's "pick me behavior".

harmonica2 · 2024-08-08T17:48:24+00:00

I thought most guys would go for this type and prefer them because they are easier to get theoretically?

prsadr · 2024-08-08T20:10:52+00:00

I have met women who said things like "I don't like the company of women because they're too dramatic" "Most of my friends are guys" "I don't like spending money" which can be considered I'm not like other girls material. Some of them turned outright toxic. Though it's a tiny sample size, I still consider it a red flag when someone tries to paint herself different than other girls.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-08-08T20:26:16+00:00

If a “pick me” woman ever tried with her equal it’d be the fastest path to marriage possible.

They obviously, like any other woman, don’t even entertain the idea though.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-08-09T10:25:26+00:00

The term "pick-me" seems to have lost meaning. It's pretty used on any woman who ever disagrees with other women.

berichorbeburied · 2024-08-08T20:27:06+00:00

Pick me WOMEN definitely do prosper.

Your post in that context makes no sense.

So hypothetically if a woman constantly goes sex to a man consistently you are saying theirs a 0% chance they end up in a marriage or a relationship?

Your saying that if a woman tailors herself and molds herself into the sexual fantasy of a man that theirs 0% chance he’ll want to have sex with her or marry her?

Your saying that if a woman trys hard to get the interest or desire of a man and creates her own strategy to lure him in theirs a 0% chance he’ll want to fuck her or marry her or be in a relationship with her

If you agree that the % is not 0%

Then you agree that it’s possible that pick me’s that are WOMEN prosper

If you want to argue percentages fine.

But your post is clearly wrong.

Since you are speaking in absolutes.

And I’m NOT speaking for pick me’s that are men

That’s NOT what I’m debating rn.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I read your post and it doesn’t really reflect your title.

Seems more like your waffling between believing they prosper and believing they don’t.

So you are already debating against yourself.

Which doesn’t leave me with much to say about your post specifically

his_purple_majesty · 2024-08-08T20:41:39+00:00

My ex was sort of a "pickme" (cringe). She would always say to me "I used to hear my dad and his friends talk about women and I swore I would never be like them." She was a tomboy and didn't really like girly girls. At one point she told me that she absolutely had to leave our city because she didn't want to run into her old best friend, I guess because she was one of them. Although I don't think she meant that literally, but more like that represented some idea to her. Whatever. She also seems to be the type of person to just adopt whatever values her partner has.

But, she is extremely well-liked, and comes off as refreshingly genuine, free-spirited, down-to-earth, etc. All sorts of people like her. She is married with a kid. So, yeah, she seems to be prospering.

I think what you're not understanding is that they don't have any opinions or values of their own, so they aren't holding anything back.

Zabadoodude · 2024-08-08T21:06:40+00:00

It depends on what they are actually doing. There are women with no self respect, that are complete pushovers for the men they want, and treat everyone else (including themselves) like dirt. This strategy rarely works.

But accusations of being a "pickme" also get thrown around at women that are just doing something nice for their men. Cook for your boyfriend? Pickme! Don't care about expensive dates? Pickme! Wear what her man likes? Pickme! Let her man take the lead in the relationship? Definitely a pickme!

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-08-09T00:35:51+00:00

It doesn't exist anymore because women can get approval with no effort. Women have redefined it to any woman that doesn't hate men or see men as the enemy.

Equal7Drive · 2024-08-09T05:06:38+00:00

I don't know specifically what a "pick me" is because it's an overused term and gets applied to many different situations.

The women i know irl who could be considered "pick me's" (the cool girls, submissive etc..) all got picked. They have the lives they wanted. Married to kind, trustworthy guys, house, kids etc..

In my experience "pick me's" do just fine.

KingBembi · 2024-08-09T16:32:42+00:00

Pick mes are cool and men do like them lol. Don't know why you women want to lie to yourselves that men don't like pick mes to make yourself feel better.

GymBroTRT · 2024-08-08T18:27:05+00:00

Yeah but pickmes swallow and that’s all you need to know.

Tywinlol2 · 2024-08-08T19:00:59+00:00

Wow this is industrial level hypocrisy. First of all women have no problem embarrassing each other, or trowing one another under the bus without being pickme, for male approval. Plenty of feminists have done so to one another. And if you think that boss babes are not treated badly by men you just wrong. In almost all cases it has more to do with relationship itself and people in it, rather then their broader stance on gender issues.

Now unto hypocrisy, liberal/feminist women have no problems viciously attacking conservative and submissive women to the point where they out right deny them person hood and free will. Balerina Farm is a perfect example, where entire article was written about a women, but so incredibly past her and everything that she said that it boggles the mind. She would say one thing and "journalist" would instantly reinterpret her words and speak in place of her. You all ladies are in favor of "choice" until that choice does not align with yours. You crying about being attacked by women you constantly attack is beyond tone deaf.

Last but not least, this idea that conservative or submissive women have no standards and just seek approval of any/every men in vicinity is so wrong it's not even funny. Very often they embody iron grip behind silk glove stereotype and have much higher standards then their liberal alternatives. In short the whole concept of pickme is a strawman, I have never met or heard of a woman that was willing to do anything for male approval, and those women who dislike feminists or liberals usually do so for their own philosophical/political reasons, to reduce them to mindless approval seekers of men is to do exactly what I outlined in second paragraph. So don't be surprised when you are attacked by people to whom you deny ability to make their own choice and whom you caricature with ridiculous propaganda.

sprckets21 · 2024-08-08T23:46:36+00:00

Guys and girls will undercut their friends to try and make themselves look superior and trash others. They’re all sick, jealous, insecure rats. It doesn’t work it’s for their own sick egos.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-08-08T18:09:14+00:00

By definition, you can't always get what you want and be submissive. Women have been given the freedom to be submissive, dominant, or whatever they want, and they've become more miserable and misandristic because they had to choose. Sacrifice is what women are willing to do for a high value male.

I did not know that at it's base level, bullying and tearing down other women made someone compassionate toward's men's issues.

It works. Women are more vulnerable to shame than guilt, so its better to say her actions make her a bad person than trying to appeal to her rationally. Again, women have never had more respect in society, and women never had less respect for men's issues. They won't have pity for men until they're taken off their pedestal.

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kongeriket · 2024-08-08T21:33:56+00:00

Met 5 pick mes in my lifetime (by the original definition, not by the Internet definition or by your definition which is even wilder). Had sex with two of them. Great sex. Mostly great company. I played matchmaker for one of them with her (still current) husband.

Pick mes do prosper. Stop taking social media as gospel. The Internet is not real life.

Tight_Lawfulness3206 · 2024-08-08T20:27:57+00:00

I 100% disagree with shaming women for being tradwives or choosing to be stay at home mothers. Especially when incels accuse them of being gold diggers.

However, if they’re going to fling shit at feminist women on social media, they should expect shit back. Hell if you even try and dispute anything these tradwive influencers say on social media like “women having jobs is evil and selfish” you get dogpiled on by like 10 of their followers accusing you of being a “fat feminist cat lady who will die alone in a nursing home” (even tho all my relatives who had multiple kids died in nursing homes)

I’ve heard most feminists fight for maternity leave and women being able to stay at home (a lot of feminists are anti capitalism nowadays and mostly mock 2010s girlboss feminism) while anti-feminists dont believe in a choice at ALL.

Like I get reccommended trad anti feminist content on pinterest if I want to research the Bible (religion is a special interest of mine) and a lot of it is smug, sneering, condescending, and judgemental

PiastriPs3 · 2024-08-08T21:16:50+00:00

Do most young men even want a traditionally submissive wife? I grew up with a tyrannical father and a submissive mother so maybe my perspective is a bit skewed but as I understand most men do not want to be in a position where every decision is differed to them but instead will prefer a relationship of equals.

Title	"Pickmes never prosper" has a point
Author	Tight_Lawfulness3206
Upvotes	1
Comments	103
Date	August 8, 2024 5:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1enbrnm/pickmes_never_prosper_has_a_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/pickmes-never-prosper-has-a-point.1526724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526724

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