Prenups are completely reasonable

reluctantly_red · 2021-02-01T15:25:08+00:00

Do you think I should keep my pension? Well yeah, my retirement depends on it and I'm working for it.

If you think a prenup is going to let you keep all of your pension in a community property state you're delusional.

passepar2t · 2021-02-01T15:19:09+00:00

It doesn't matter that they're reasonable, marriage has a very strong pre-rational, emotional component and some people can't overcome it.

They just can't unpick their feelings well enough to articulate why they're uncomfortable with the concept.

wtknight · 2021-02-01T17:52:21+00:00

[removed]

FoggyDanto · 2021-02-02T11:48:57+00:00

Any man who got his finances together and is marrying a woman who is not a virgin and hasn't signed a prenup is the biggest fool

crookedsummer2019 · 2021-02-01T17:15:38+00:00

Pre-nups are designed to be a mutually agreed upon contract that provides financial protection for each person. Both signatures needed.

I know it’s a sore topic here but I think that’s because when the red pill brings it up they frame it like it’s designed to make sure the woman doesn’t get anything, and that’s not how prenups work.

Lawyers will rarely if ever advise a woman to sign a prenup that will leave her with nothing. If the plan is for the wife to stay at home mom and not contribute financially, the lawyer will factor that into a pre-nup where they would negotiate for even more of a payout.

It also goes both ways. There are women who have just as many assets and income as men who want to protect some of that. Second marriages with kids from the previous marriage, for sure the parent wants to make sure their kids get whatever money and assets he or she wants them to inherit. It’s not uncommon for people to put assets in the names of their children or in trust to them for that reason.

Also if one person owns their own business, they want that protected. Someone made a good point about this in a pervious pre-nup thread.

I agree that for many circumstances, wanting a pre-nup is reasonable.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-02-01T21:14:03+00:00

I met my wife in college, we were broke for the first 10 years of our lives, a prenup would have been insulting I think.

Now if single I'd insist on one since the game for me is different. I'm established.

moviecooknl · 2021-02-01T16:08:33+00:00

The most important reason for me to have a prenup is to make sure there's a Chinese Wall so that past and future financial decisions of me or my wife doesn't have any influence on each others financial resources, that we're both responsible for our own finances and that the (financial) responsibilities towards our family and household are guaranteed by both and that changes in those regards requires both of us to be in agreement (for example, getting a loan on a house requires us both to sign off on the mortgage and we can't get an additional loan on the house without both our signatures).

If I would start a business and it goes bankrupt, they don't go after the financial resources of my wife or our household. If my wife (or me) has debts and the debtcollectors comes, it wont't impact my (or her) financial resources nor of our household. If my wife would get a large sum of money because of inheritance, it's hers to use as she sees fit and the same goes for my situation.

It's just plain good thinking to do such a thing and it has no downside during the relationship.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-02-01T15:57:53+00:00

Prenups are completely reasonable to men. They aren't to women.

Almost all women will have a visceral reaction of insult, indignation, rage, fury, grievous offense, and devastating emotional injury at any suggestion that her man doesn't trust her. She'll have that reaction even if she knows she's not worthy of that trust and even if she knows she's secretly breached it. (Witness the strongly negative reactions to men requesting and obtaining paternity tests on their children, or telling their wives they intend to have children born to them paternity tested. Witness the legislation some nations have enacted against paternity testing without maternal consent.)

Women will never, ever approach prenups or paternity testing rationally, because they act as a check on women's power. Women have the power to decide whether relationships continue. If her man makes or even hints at ANY suggestion that she's been dishonest or treacherous, or if he acts to verify her honesty and loyalty, she'll dissolve that relationship and punish him as severely as she possibly can. She'll stop having sex with him and shittalk him to everyone. She'll divorce rape him.

Women have power, and they will cling to it as violently and harshly as they possibly can, and will absolutely decimate any attempts to check, regulate, or limit that power.

Reisiluu · 2021-02-01T20:09:59+00:00

I get it if one partner is much wealthier but these posts about protecting their 30k car "assets" crack me up. She will lose more just by staying home a year to start a family. But women are just expected to take the loss and hope they picked a good guy? Nah it goes both ways. If he doesn't have a practical reason and only suggests it because he doesn't trust the woman he picked, then he's not marriage material.

Davidfosford · 2021-02-01T23:33:56+00:00

put all your assets away in a trust before you marry, she can't touch that

alwaysonalongtrip · 2021-02-01T16:31:12+00:00

I think if you have a kid with someone without a prenup you are a fool.

deeredman1991 · 2021-02-02T05:04:43+00:00

Any woman who has a problem with a prenup is a professional divorcee and likely a gold digger too. Drop her and run for the hills.

thelajestic · 2021-02-01T18:28:33+00:00

If you're a teacher I don't see why you'd need one, as you'll never have enough money to need to protect it.

I don't think prenups are unreasonable per se, I just think they're unnecessary for the majority of people. Unless you have a big income disparity or you're coming into the marriage with businesses/property etc it's a bit pointless. Also if you have an income disparity but expect your partner to stay at home/work part time with the kids then it's entirely reasonable to split assets with them on the event of your divorce, as they won't have had the opportunity to build up assets and money for themselves.

cunningcaring · 2021-02-01T17:57:00+00:00

Pretty much wrong on all counts.

You keep what you owned before marriage. You split 50:50 what you acquired to get her. You told your wife to stay home with the kids. That is why you pay alimony. The kids get supported to the same level they had before divorce. Think with your head and not your dick and you’ll do fine.

And yes, I got divorced once and paid $10,000 a month in support payments for ten years.

And yes, I survived financially just fine.

Men who are greedy and not very bright should not get married.

IcarusKiki · 2021-02-01T18:40:47+00:00

People don’t like it because it feels like you aren’t committing 100% to the relationship. Plus it’s expensive and won’t really help you much if you aren’t a millionaire dating a waitress. People don’t want to go through the time and money to pretty much say “You might screw me over when we break up and I wanna protect my own ass”.

aquariuskitty_ · 2021-02-01T19:16:28+00:00

I can definitely see the need if you come from a lot of money. But a prenup honestly just sounds like you’re planning to get divorced.

Hoopy223 · 2021-02-01T18:50:21+00:00

Only love is in mind if the Massey is signed.

Seriously though Prenups aren’t ironclad and they are mostly for rich people anyways.

Also when you marry in your 20s or early 30s thats when you start to accumulate property and iirc prenups don’t have a lot of sway over stuff acquired post-wedding.

ThrowawayCOVID999 · 2021-02-01T19:49:46+00:00

No one can explain why men should trust women in the first place. They act like it’s yet another thing women are entitled to.

JimmeryJames · 2021-02-02T06:47:53+00:00

Bruh the women who are against pre-nups are 100% gonna divorce rape you.

End of story

BonjourReturn2 · 2021-02-01T16:56:35+00:00

Prenup can be thrown out the window so no. It is sensible if it would be unquestionable but it is. Just don't get married, problem solved.

relish5k · 2021-02-01T18:52:22+00:00

I completely think it's a good idea to get a prenup, but I did not get one with my husband (and I have more to lose). I don't like hedging my bets, and I'm betting on us.

Also, even if you split custody 50/50 and are both working, the person with higher income should probably pay some child support. Maybe not if the difference is marginal.

801735 · 2021-02-01T21:41:32+00:00

Nah, prenups are as unreasonable as marriage is. Maybe even more, not sure.

JohnDoe9564 · 2021-02-01T15:21:31+00:00

Prenups are only useful if there's a massive discrepancy in income between the two partners.

A man and woman both making $50k a year pushing pencils aren't gaining anything from getting one.

wtknight · 2021-02-01T18:15:34+00:00

I agree that pre-nups are reasonable, but not that they are "completely reasonable," because of the romantic nature of love and marriage and how a pre-nuptial agreement makes a marriage less romantic because it assumes that something bad may happen to that marriage. People who are so concerned over their own material possessions should just not get married, in my opinion.

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BioStu · 2021-02-01T18:30:17+00:00

Yes they are completely warranted. Even if she is reasonable, the majority of the time her scumbag lawyer is pushing her to get everything she can, no matter how much it negatively affects the man.

Jakes1967 · 2021-02-02T17:27:40+00:00

When I got married, you had a choice; in community of property, or out of community of property.

For out of community of property, you had to provide a duly signed pre-nup, which was then checked by the court and if accepted, the pre-nup was then entered as a binding contract.

jackandjill22 · 2021-02-02T21:26:52+00:00

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-02-04T07:54:50+00:00

Prenups are just like car insurance. You don't want to crash but you should plan for the possibility.

Also, lots of women are having to pay alimony now. My aunt supports my uncle who's disabled from a car crash and gets 800 a month in disability. She wants to divorce him but he's gonna probably get alimony from her and she's already hurting for cash. It's fucked. Everyone of both genders and even homosexuals should get prenups.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-02-05T04:47:55+00:00

Tldr but I agree that prenups are important. My intention is to do the best I can in the relationship but I have no control over my future spouse and don't intent to have control of them. So it's just nice to have a fire extinguisher that you hope you never have to use

sigma1932 · 2021-02-06T05:55:16+00:00

in 2021, Pre-nups are toilet paper.

All she has to do is claim she signed it under some amount of duress (even something as stupid as "he said he wouldn't marry me if I refused to sign the pre-nup".... DERP!), and bye-bye pre-nup!

Zippo-Cat · 2021-02-01T18:28:51+00:00

The questions is, if you accept the possibility that marriage can fail, then you're treating it like a regular relationship... so why you're getting married at all then?

DonQOnIce · 2021-02-01T16:36:46+00:00

Prenup can consist of many different things. They can be reasonable or unreasonable depending on the terms in relation to the position of the couple. This is why they can be thrown out if a judge sees fit.

I think most reasonable people understand this and I’m confused by people in this thread accusing women of universally balking at prenups.

yellowydaffodil · 2021-02-02T00:09:13+00:00

In theory, prenups are reasonable, but they do signify a lack of trust that to me, suggests the people aren't ready for marriage. If you don't trust your partner not to try and take your things (which is a stupid concept anyway), you shouldn't be getting married. Just live with your partner instead.

goatismycopilot · 2021-02-01T18:27:04+00:00

What country do you live in that you have a pension? Fixed company pensions largely went the way of the dodo.

SaBahRub · 2021-02-01T19:23:09+00:00

Not if you want the marriage rate to stop decreasing

Sid_Insidious · 2021-02-01T19:53:08+00:00

If children are involved and the man is in "Family Law Kangaroo Court" best interests of the children (as decided by them) > pre-nup.

Know your local laws - hire a divorce lawyer BEFORE you marry, where you will marry, and find out what the laws are and if a pre-nup will even be worth the paper it's written on. Also, KIDS vs NO KIDS makes a HUGE difference in some places.

Title	Prenups are completely reasonable
Author	Fiasko21
Upvotes	113
Comments	218
Date	February 1, 2021 3:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/la5akr/prenups_are_completely_reasonable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/prenups-are-completely-reasonable.740677 https://theredarchive.com/post/740677

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