There's nothing wrong with valuing something in a partner that you do not possess.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-10-05T21:17:26+00:00

FFS!

Date the people that you want to date. Do not date the people that you do not want to date. If you cannot find people that you want to date who also wants to date you, don't date. Easy peasy!

Do not project your preferences onto the greater public as "all / most men" or "all / most women". Let everyone else worry about their own preferences. MYOB.

Do not incessantly try to justify those preferences as being somehow noble - literally no one is going to change their mind about it and it wouldn't matter if they did.

Do not go out of your way to denigrate those who you do not want to date, regardless of the reason.

Do not go out of your way to denigrate those that do not want to date you, regardless of the reason.

BOOM! Now can we pretty please stop this silliness for just a few days?

NorthernTaste · 2022-10-05T20:50:02+00:00

You can have whatever legal preferences you want

You can’t stop what people think

LoomingCrimson · 2022-10-05T22:29:58+00:00

I think what most people mean to bring up when talking about power dynamics isn’t that power imbalance is inherently evil. It’s to make everyone aware that power imbalances in relationships leave room for exploitation.

A charismatic 40-something man with a house, car, and disposable income, can be a lot of fun for a 20 year old woman who is barely affording her college dorm and eating ramen for most meals. He could also turn out to be a nightmare and cause a lot of harm, too.

And sure, a man is free to pursue virgins. But a man exclusively pursuing virgin women because of their lack of experience and exploiting girls to mistreat them, is the main thing people take issue with.

blackphillip928 · 2022-10-05T23:59:45+00:00

Obese incels have a right to favor their prepubescent waifus, dammit ✊

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-10-05T22:55:39+00:00

If you want a virgin woman and are not a virgin or have a high n count, fine whatever

But also accept reality that virgin / low n count women tend to also care about promiscuity and tend to find that type of thinking (men are master keys) to be unattractive.

If you manage to get one fine, good for you. But stop trying to get validation and justification for your preference. Good luck finding your unicorn

badgersonice · 2022-10-05T21:43:24+00:00

non-virgin guys wanting virgin girls,

And yet for all they say it’s “fine”, I’ve seen a quite a few high to medium-n guys who express this preference in women get really bent out of shape when they see a low-n or virgin woman express that they don’t want to date a high-n man. Or they claim these women don’t exist, or call them liars, or claim she’d make an exception for him.

It seems some people only allow themselves to have preferences, but balk when their preferences don’t always want them back.

darkvalleys · 2022-10-05T23:49:29+00:00

Ah, n count/younger women/virgin post number #9,236

Acaciduh · 2022-10-05T20:30:47+00:00

I don’t understand why you guys keep needing validation on this. If you as a promiscuous man can obtain a virgin women then go for it. Some people will judge you for it but it’s not like you’ll be tarred and feathered and run out of town. People generally don’t like hypocrites and so they have opinions about all kinds of hypocritical situations if you don’t care it literally should have no bearing on your life.

hungrychick404 · 2022-10-06T03:21:59+00:00

You’re allowed to want whoever you would like.

However, I don’t get that men want a virgin girl when they are “tarnishing” (in their opinions) other women themselves. It seems like a woman has to diminish herself in a man’s eyes to sleep with him, which doesn’t make me as a woman want to end up with a man like that in case he breaks up with me or cheats on me and I “wasted my precious virginity” on someone who threw it away idk

wtknight · 2022-10-05T20:57:12+00:00

I think what people don’t like about the whole promiscuity criteria is that it smacks of hypocrisy and telling one gender that they shouldn’t be out “having fun” if they want a relationship while it’s perfectly fine for men. People usually don’t like it when rules are applied unequally.

jenaemare · 2022-10-06T03:06:06+00:00

OK sure but what about a high n count woman who wants a virgin / low n count man who is younger & more attractive than her? Does it sound reasonable to you?

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-05T20:28:49+00:00

Okay, but there is something wrong with saying there's something wrong with not having that trait, which frequently happens when someone expresses this kind of preference.

risdeveau · 2022-10-05T20:25:13+00:00

It doesn’t have to be wrong to be judged

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-10-06T03:45:30+00:00

IF you are a guy who has a high count, what makes you think a virgin will want you? You have a high count for a reason - you sleep around. You really gonna hang around for a year or two before marrying that virgin girl so she can have sex with you?

Oh, or do you just want to sleep with virgin girls because you enjoy the challenge and the kink of dirtying women? I’m confused.

If I were a virgin, there is no freaking way I’m going to date someone who slept around. Hell, the reason women have low counts or virgins is because they don’t sleep around. You still interested if she hasn’t slept with you after a year?

Other preferences are fine but this one is based in value and compatibility.

mistressusa · 2022-10-06T05:42:15+00:00

No one cares who you want to date or not date. Just don't come here to try to justify your preferences with some sort of moral-ish reason because when you do that, people respond.

vogel777 · 2022-10-05T20:29:44+00:00

"non-virgin guys wanting virgin girls"

Nah this is ridiculous, other things like height, money, looks etc are a preference that you can want all you like but when you meet the right person then all that goes out the window or it should unless your an idiot with a superficial shopping list but non virgin men expecting virginal women is some sexist shit if I ever heard it.

ToberOct · 2022-10-06T02:11:49+00:00

A non-virgin wanting a virgin isn't about wanting different traits. Virginity isn't just a "trait." It's a moral value. You're asking for a partner to have morals you do not possess. It makes you a hypocrite.

Reason two, there is no reason to want virginity unless you are a virgin. The point of virginity is to have a loving, whole marriage. If you're not a virgin man, you already ruined that.

Reason three, you can't desire a value in a partner and then actively destroy it. You're not waving a magic wand to make guys short by being short. There's no hypocrisy there. You are born short and you're affecting no one. By being a non-virgin, you are making other people more promiscuous through your actions.

Electrical-Elk-6167 · 2022-10-05T22:38:44+00:00

I think the difference between the promiscuity example and the “short-girls-want-tall-guys” is hypocrisy vs transaction.

Most women want a man who is taller. Most men want a woman who is shorter. This is a transaction because both parties can benefit.

If a promiscuous man wants a virgin women, he benefits but she does not. Most virgin women do not want a man with a super high n count. There is no even transaction here.

Most women who stay virgins are religious so they don’t want a promiscuous man. Even non virgin women who are a virgin for religious reasons don’t necessarily want him to be promiscuous. It’s not attractive to think of his extreme number of sex partners, the possibility of STDs, and for virgin women especially it can create insecurity that she does not measure up to his previous sexual relationships.

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2022-10-05T21:42:59+00:00

There is when it is built in hypocrisy and rationalization hamster and other BS.

A guy with mommy issues running around from woman to woman cannot complain about a woman doing the same with men. And vice versa.

If you are low N-Count, great, there is nothing wrong with seeking a low N-Count partner.

If you are a liberal pinko commie, nothing wrong with only wanting to fuck a liberal pinko commie.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2022-10-05T21:35:58+00:00

Agreed 100%

mackenzie013_02 · 2022-10-05T20:32:34+00:00

It depends on what it is: - values (unlikely that your relationship will workout if there’s significant gaps), - personality traits (depends, some things work other don’t), - physical traits (again depends, a person who’s super into fitness is unlikely to be a good fit with a couch potato), - everything else unrelated to values/habits (generally doesn’t matter).

JadedButWicked · 2022-10-05T23:13:33+00:00

It's wrong to be a hypocrite or inconsiderate asshole. Traits like being a virgin is a direct comparison not wanting a masculine/feminine person which is not. This is part of the problem where people all want something they are not themselves.

FjbhBoy · 2022-10-06T01:35:47+00:00

I love long dark hair on women and I’m a bald guy, don’t see anything wrong with that personally. Not hypocritical imo

Peacesquad · 2022-10-06T01:49:01+00:00

Hypergamy

geometersbane · 2022-10-05T20:31:53+00:00

Yep. It's supposed to be complementary. None of this egalitarian bullshit.

It's not that difficult for women to differentiate themselves from their lowly competition either. Cook, clean, look pretty, and tone the fuck down on the nagging/provocation/drama. Check that shit at the door.

AutoModerator · 2022-10-05T20:15:30+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

badGoils · 2022-10-06T11:55:58+00:00

Short girls can be a little ridiculous with tall guys though, I’m 6’5 lol

gofigure62 · 2022-10-06T13:31:28+00:00

The issue is with people that want people who possess something that they don't have is that they complain and demand that society deliver their perfect partner on a silver platter.

People are allowed to want whatever the hell they want. No one wants to hear these people bitch, moan, whine, and cry that the people they want aren't interested in them. Their options are to become more attractive to the people they want to attract, lower their standards, or learn to enjoy being alone.

These people never want to make changes, they just want to nagg society into giving them what they want.

There's a difference between someone who wants what they want and don't throw a bitch fit over it vs someone who wants what they want and believe that they're victimized by society because they don't get it.

dottywine · 2022-10-06T16:06:38+00:00

It irritates me when people say “but you’re broke” when someone wants to date rich. “But you’re ugly” when someone wants to date hot.

You should simply go for what you like.

There’s this trend of women “manifesting” a good man by obtaining the qualities they want to see in him. It makes no sense to me. Everyone’s personality is different! Maybe you’re bad with money - it doesn’t mean you can’t date someone good with money. Often times, opposites attract and a good partnership will have you balanced by your partner and vice versa.

slavicslothe · 2022-10-06T16:08:23+00:00

Your fixation on young virgins is pretty sus. I think there’s something wrong with wanting kids and teens in general when you’re an adult.

AndrewPotato34 · 2022-10-06T16:31:18+00:00

What about low income guys wanting high income women who are faithful? is that really not gonna happen on this earth>?":

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-10-06T16:55:28+00:00

It’s not about valuing. It’s about having an opinion based on morals which don’t apply to yourself etc.

Title	There's nothing wrong with valuing something in a partner that you do not possess.
Author	Ok-Limes-5094
Upvotes	39
Comments	178
Date	October 5, 2022 8:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xwl1vs/theres_nothing_wrong_with_valuing_something_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/theres-nothing-wrong-with-valuing-something-in-a.1134958 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134958

Comments