Why single men feel "touch deprived" but are hardly touch with their own bodies?

Pegmaster6969696969 · 2024-06-28T10:43:17+00:00

Yeah man I hate (checks notes) science and decades of psychological studies. Back in MY day we didn't touch the babies, if they wanted breast milk they had to climb and get it like real men. If my buddy was hanging of a cliff well he BETTER save himself because bro i ain't touching the hommies. Kids these days are so entitled man, they want (checks notes again) human physical contact (checks notes, reads is essential to human development and backed by studies, decides to ignore it). Such snowflakes man.

Also when I went to school I had to walk 400km of jungle and fight crocodiles every day!

Economy-House171 · 2024-06-28T10:36:11+00:00

Ah yes "stupid garbage science" that's backed by studies and evidence is complete rubbish and has absolutely no truth to it 💀

Rude-Contact3013 · 2024-06-28T12:50:57+00:00

Here's another post beating up on guys!!... This time it's that they're spoiled and feel "entitled" to human touch!

I swear, the weird things people feel "entitled" to express on the Internet and put others down about has NO end!

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-06-28T12:16:44+00:00

Most men jerk off - it scratches an itch, that’s not a substitute for the real thing

AlternativeNote594 · 2024-06-28T10:25:34+00:00

Also single guys can buddy up and give eachother handshakes and bro hugs, what's wrong with that?

Men don't do it for me tbh

I grew up in the 90s, I don't remember this idea of "touch" being an essential for mainstream. As an older millennial it seems like maybe our generation of men are a bit spoilt and entitled.

What a bizarre take, you're too young to be sounding this much like a boomer. Medical understanding advances, we also have ready access to a lot more information than we did in the 90s.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-06-28T15:15:36+00:00

I grew up in the 90s and I don't remember people having a computer in their pockets. But they do now. It's call the passage of time.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2024-06-28T10:39:14+00:00

Maybe because most men aren’t asexual. Most women crave physical touch from men too and you might know this if you’ve ever actually touched one. Practically every woman I date says physical touch is her love language.

TallFoundation7635 · 2024-06-28T11:44:50+00:00

I don't know where this myth that men are afraid to platonically touch each other is coming from. Even in the notoriously homophobic mma community, grappling is platonic touch, they enthusiastically hug each other whenever someone wins a major fight. Most men I know have no issue with bro hugs, even in notoriously hypermasculine cultures like the latin and black culture.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-06-28T11:20:51+00:00

Touch "wasn't important" in the 90s because it was available and taken for granted. Way less men were completely starved of it like today.

lgtv354 · 2024-06-28T11:34:06+00:00

touch deprived doesnt equal being gay.

RubyDiscus · 2024-06-28T14:24:04+00:00

I don't think yoga and meditation is going to help a whole lot for a guy that is lonely.

Spending more time with family and friends maybe. Trying harder to find someone, maybe

stormiu · 2024-06-28T16:06:32+00:00

And mfs called me a crazy delusional chud for running this flare

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-06-28T17:26:44+00:00

Because it isn't enough?

MotleyCrew1989 · 2024-06-28T17:57:42+00:00

Why is it so hard to understand that what we lack are not handshakes or hugs, but a woman´s touch?

pg_throwaway · 2024-06-29T00:35:56+00:00

Men are humans too. Everyone likes touching and being touched by someone they like / love.

From my experience in dating and marriage women usually want to be touched more than men do, but men still need it. Holding / being held by my wife sometimes is just so stress relieving and amazing.

It would really suck to go for even days without that, nevermind, months or years. The studies seem totally in line with common sense, while you seem unable to human correctly.

DBEternal · 2024-06-29T06:38:07+00:00

Your entire argument is basically identical to the Ancient Roman argument towards homosexual love as an alternative to "dealing with women."

But hey, gay guys named themselves after a positive emotion, they must be onto something.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-06-28T11:32:58+00:00

I think you’re conflating two things.

Infants literally die without human touch and affection. You could give them everything else they need to live besides skin-to-skin contact and they’ll still stop growing and die.
Men often say their love language is “touch” when they’re really talking about sex.

rosephase · 2024-06-28T10:28:40+00:00

Babies can die without skin to skin contact.

Humans do need touch and in our culture we only have space for sexual/romantic touch and professional touch. It's a real bummer and it hurts a bunch of people regardless of gender.

Why can't men cuddle other men? Because of our shitty culture. It's seen as weak or gay. Platonic touch is powerful and important and it's sad that it's so invisible as an option. You are expressing the social construct that men shouldn't need touch, which is part of the problem.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-06-28T11:28:41+00:00

Yeah I can get behind this idea, it corresponds with a lot of what woman are saying about men feeling entitled, backed up by a lot of men trying to argue sex is a need.

I am also going to argue this is very much an American and childish thing. I appreciate showing affection between men and woman is quite different, however for most men, even if they don’t have a romantic partner, they have other woman around them, friends, sisters, female relatives etc where a cuddle/hug is fairly regular. Even pets can provide this affection.

A grown man complaining of not being touched, even not meant in sexual way, comes across as needy, childish and off-putting.

MistyMaisel · 2024-06-28T12:36:15+00:00

The research is typically about the benefits to infants, children, and between romantic pairs. Cuddling, holding hands, and kissing all carry dramatic emotional and physical benefits that are well established. And while it seems possible you could bromantically get the same results, realistically it is unlikely at best because most humans aren't looking to have that contact with someone they're not in a romantic relationship with.

Now yes, secondarily there's been research into the broad benefits of hugging. I think it's something like 7 minutes a day carries great benefits. And yes you could get that with your bros and probably should and probably do.

But, I can grant anyone, not having the kissing, cuddling, constant skin to skin of a partner is going to be a worse lifestyle that a bro really cannot fulfill unless you swing that way.

But yes, it also sounds childish and needy to complain about being touch starved. All these things can be true.

apresonly · 2024-06-28T17:57:06+00:00

Also single guys can buddy up and give eachother handshakes and bro hugs, what's wrong with that?

men should hold hand w their bros

this is healthy

i love holding hands w my girlfriends

nightsofthesunkissed · 2024-06-29T07:46:02+00:00

Touching your own body is not the same thing as loving touch from another person.

I grew up in the 90s, I don't remember this idea of "touch" being an essential for mainstream.

Oh god, come on... I know you aren't, but this is such a painfully boomer thing to say. "Back in my day, x didn't exist!"

It has always been a thing.

Research is just catching up to it and putting it into mainstream knowledge.

Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-07-02T20:37:01+00:00

Most men who describe themselves as touch deprived are just sexualy starving, they dont want touch, they want sex. It is just an euphemism

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-06-28T10:33:21+00:00

"There's all this stupid garbage science coming out about how "touch" is supposedly a basic human need."

Given how many men are paying and doing absolutely anything to get women to touch them, I'd agree with it.

"First of all, why don't men just get in touch with their own bodies more? Meditation, body-scan, yoga. Also working out and calisthenics can be good."

Because apparently bodybuilding is fashionable, but not actually investing in the body - that's for women, and unfortunately the world is still too misogynistic to accept anything else.

"Also single guys can buddy up and give eachother handshakes and bro hugs, what's wrong with that?"

As an older millennial woman, this is much more preferable than the 30 years+ of men pushing me for bloody hugs, hand holding and getting close with men I don't know, so honestly men should be doing all this.

"I grew up in the 90s, I don't remember this idea of "touch" being an essential for mainstream. As an older millennial it seems like maybe our generation of men are a bit spoilt and entitled."

I think most generations of men are spoilt and entitled with regards to others bodily autonomy.

Acrobatic_Drop4993 · 2024-06-28T10:29:56+00:00

First of all, why don't men just get in touch with their own bodies more? Meditation, body-scan, yoga. Also working out and calisthenics can be good.

I actually have "The Science Of Enlightenment" by Shinzen Young arriving today. Its too easy to dwell on mistakes and bad shit then continualy repeat them as that is how you train your subconcious. This is also following advice from a men only group. So why you think Men don't do this, is beyond me. Maybe stop viewing men as a monolith.

CraftyCooler · 2024-06-28T10:50:08+00:00

In our culture male body is either a tool or something that needs to be killed or mutilated if it belong to an enemy, we cannot be too much in touch with our bodies and to have too much respect for male body because it would make us inneffective. All human cultures praise violence against men and to some extend against women too, though female body is too valuable to be just disposed - therefore human cultures tend to rather protect but also enslave women.

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_jay_fox_ · 2024-06-28T11:05:20+00:00

We men should be suave and shake hands like Carry Grant.

TopEntertainment4781 · 2024-06-28T19:08:16+00:00

Touch is essential. The data is indisputable.

In other cultures men touch a lot more. It should happen here. Side hugs, pats on the back, that head thing men do with their boys - like where they rub their heads.

Our culture (f the patriarchy) call men gay or other insults for man on man contact. So men look to women partners only for that. It’s something that media could help normalize, actually.

Damned sad.

Solondthewookiee · 2024-06-28T20:30:42+00:00

I agree that it is not exclusively on women to satisfy men's desire for physical contact, but the rest of your post is nonsense. Physical touch has very measurable impacts to well-being.

KGmagic52 · 2024-06-28T21:16:12+00:00

Why are bodyscan, mediation and yoga your only examples of "getting in touch with your body"? Sounds like men are defective if they don't do things like a woman. Lift heavy. Hike. Learn a martial art. Play a sport. Men and women can do LOTS of things to "get in touch with their bodies" but it's not seen as valid if it's masculine.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-06-29T00:41:32+00:00

Ok bro, I am an older millenial myself, I am 33 years old, and because I had been touched deprived and lacked intimacy basically my whole life, my whole mental state is fucked. I am depressed, I suffer with anxiety andsuicidal thoughts. My anxiety is triggered in random times and when that happens, I suffer with breathing problems, like panic attacks. Now do you really think if I had normal relationships like a normal human and normal connections with a woman like a normal human, that I would've still been depressed and anxious and suicidal? No bro, I wouldn't. The problem with people nowadays is that if they don't miss a certain important thing in their life, they think it's no big deal until they actually lose it. Like food for example or electricity. We all have it and we all take it for granted, but do you think that poor countries like in Africa would take it for granted? No, they wouldn't and they wouldn't even throw away the food either if it's expired.

But because you OP has never suffered with true loneliness and always had intimacy and affection from women at some points of your life, you don't know how it feels and how it is. You just think men are spoiled and entitled when in reality they don't want this because they think they are entitled. They want this because they need it for a normal function in society, for not feeling so down and depressed and suicidal. Think about it, we live in a male loneliness epidemic and men are killing themselves more than ever, and you do not even question why. But I guess it's the men's fault, right? Or I guess the simple solution is "just don't be depressed", right?

DBEternal · 2024-06-28T11:57:49+00:00

men need a woman's touch and barring that anything else is cope

Title	Why single men feel "touch deprived" but are hardly touch with their own bodies?
Author	_jay_fox_
Upvotes	0
Comments	277
Date	June 28, 2024 10:16 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dqg9vu/why_single_men_feel_touch_deprived_but_are_hardly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-single-men-feel-touch-deprived-but-are-hardly.1522653 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522653

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