Why Looks Don't Matter

/r/Seduction is by far the best seduction community I've found online. Still, I'm constantly amazed by how many people use the excuse "looks matter," even on this subreddit. This is not an excuse that can justify inaction, here's why.

What is attraction?

Attraction is a wavelength. A vibe. Attraction happens before thought. You see a girl, you feel attraction, you think, “she is attractive.” In that order.

This is what attraction is – that specific wavelength. It’s not the length of hair, color of eyes, types of clothing worn… it’s the wavelength being broadcasted. After the wavelength is felt, attraction may be justified by the mind (“I like her because she wears skinny jeans, high heels and a leather jacket”).

We humans focus too much on our thoughts about something, not about what that something actually is.

We’re focused on our justifications for feeling attraction, not what the attraction actually is.

This is why so many people think looks are everything in seduction. Because they don’t know how to manage their wavelength. They think, “I like this girl because of X,” or “girls like this guy because of X,” then they say they aren’t attractive because they don’t have X.

How are wavelengths defined? Beliefs.

First, realize this: you project everything. You hide nothing. You may think you can hide things since people aren’t picking up on them. But that’s simply because they aren’t tuning into the wavelength you’re broadcasting, not that you aren’t broadcasting anything.

If I showed you a video of a political debate and said, “the president is about to tell a lie,” you could see it in how they spoke. Even if the audience listening in the video couldn’t tell it was a lie, you could because you were tuned into that signal. As a result, you got what was broadcasted – a lie.

So what are your beliefs on attraction? Do you believe you need to be a football star to be attractive? Then that is what your signal projects.

If your life is out of line with your definition of attractive, you will not be broadcasting an attractive signal. You will be broadcasting a signal that says, “I’m unattractive because I’m not a football star, which is what attractive people are.”

Then girls will never view you as attractive, because you don’t match up with your own definition of attraction.

The problem is, when this happens, people go externally. They think, “oh, girls just don’t find me attractive.” But it’s not the girl! How is a girl supposed to pick up on a signal you aren’t broadcasting?

Don’t blame your unattractiveness on external events, look inside. How do you define being attractive? If you aren’t your definition, you won’t be attractive.

Back to the football example. You weren’t a football star but realized you needed to be one to get girls. So you work your ass off and eventually become a football star.

Now you’re aligned with your definition – you are, according to yourself, attractive. You begin projecting that signal into the world.

Suddenly girls are noticing you. You walked through the mall and all eyes were on you. A girl even walked up to you, blushed, and handed you her phone number before running away.

You must’ve been right! People are only attracted to football stars!

No.

You have simply aligned your life with your definition of attraction. Now that you are someone you define as “attractive,” you can begin to display that signal. And people will begin to pick up on it.

Can you see how this confuses people? Since our beliefs are what define attraction, we often prove ourselves “right” by living up to them.

For the football player, he may think he is right, that only people who play football are attractive. “See, I told you football players were attractive!”

Well he is right, but only because he says so – not because he plays football.

He then tells his friends, “girls never liked me until I played football,” causing his friends to redefine their own definition of “attractive.”

Here are a list of traits commonly defined as “attractive”:

• People who dress well are attractive.

• People who are thin are attractive.

• Men with big muscles get all the girls.

• Guys who can cook are sexy.

• Men who are interesting are a woman’s biggest turn on.

What is your definition of attractive? Do you fit in the mold of your definition? If not, how can you expect women to find you attractive?

And yes, this means you can become attractive right now. Instantly. This very second.

How?

Simply change your definition of attractive to what you are currently.

“Does this mean I can be 500 pounds, have terrible acne, never shower and still be attractive?”

Yes.

But only if you believe it. If you fully believe attraction is defined by being 500 pounds, having acne and never showering, you will broadcast the “attractive” signal once you reach that point (or immediately if you’re already there).

But this will be very, very difficult to believe. In society, we’ve repeatedly heard only thin people who smell good and have clear skin are attractive. So in order to fully believe you could be the opposite and still be attractive, you would need to utterly destroy all your beliefs and rebuild them from the ground up.

Therefore, broadcasting the “attractive” signal is not something most people can do instantly, even though it’s entirely possible.

How can you start? First look at your definition of yourself. Then look for evidence which supports a potential you being attractive. Then change your lifestyle to align yourself with your new definition of attractive.

I’m skinny. Gaining weight and muscle has always been difficult, so it took me a long time to even give it a shot.

I firmly believed attraction meant having muscles and definition. As a result, whenever I wore a t-shirt, I didn’t feel attractive. I felt skinny and insignificant. This was the signal I broadcasted.

At this time, I found evidence that people who were “slender” or “athletic” were very attractive. I saw pictures of movie stars and rockstars who were slender and got laid all the time.

So I started working out. Slowly I gained definition. No, I wasn’t a bodybuilder. But for the first time, I could be considered “athletic.”

My definition of attraction: thin people who are well dressed, cocky, funny and athletic.

Through working out, I was able to become that person. Once I met my definition, I started broadcasting the signal of “attractive.”

I liked wearing t-shirts. I would go out in public and notice girls staring at me. I thought, “damn I was right, it’s all about muscle definition.”

But it wasn’t – it was about meeting my own definition of “attractive.”

Months later, I stopped working out. I lost everything I had gained, but one thing – I still believed I was attractive, so I was, even though what originally made me feel I was attractive was gone.

This is what you can do. Figure out who you are. If you are overweight and your definition of attractive is slender, you will not be broadcasting an attractive signal. You have two options:

1) Meet your current definition (aka, lose weight and start working out)

2) Change your current definition (look for evidence of overweight people who get a lot of girls, notice what they do and why that is attractive, change your definition)

Do either of these and you will become attractive.

Welcome to life outside the matrix.

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NOTES:

• This also explains how people can “fall out” of being attractive. “I was attractive in high school, but now girls won’t give me the time of day.”

It’s because the person’s definition of what is attractive changed.

• Notice how opposites can be equally as attractive. For me, I defined attractive as thin and slender. Someone else could define it as well built and very muscular. Both definitions would be correct and would lead to very similar results.

• Yes, this concept opens a very large door indeed. If attraction is all internal, what else is? Hint: everything.