"Being a virgin at X age shouldn't be an issue and there is nothing wrong with it", many bluepill types say. To a degree, I agree.

​But take a lonely guy with an average male libido. This guy has been actively longing for women in an arguably far more frequent, direct and intense way than how the average women feels about this nebulous mass called "men". That intensity is his starting point. Wanting is a given and a daily reality.

How can he be okay with staying alone and having no experiences? How can that not be paired​ with feelings of inadequacy or depression​?

"There is nothing fundamentally wrong with me - I just don't have what it takes to get with a woman."

That's how. Is that okay​?

A more diplomatic and​ accepted version of this is something along the lines of "I just want to focus on myself for now, my studies, whatever". This is acceptable because it does put the blame on yourself, and only ​temporarily, so it doesn't even feel that gloomy.

Things get different for guys who chronically feel this way. At that point, acknowledging gender roles and near universal patterns of female attraction is how you do it. Heterosexuality is massively asymmetrical, nobody picked and chose the ​gender roles they ​were born into, ​and women are even flawed themselves to add.

One similar example I have seen, there is this guy called Dr.K who is a psychologist who talked to a lot of online personalities. One theme that commonly came up was "you can blame your parents and even be mad at them without hating them". This was for people reluctant to acknowledge some of the severity of the mistreatment of their parents and their effects. "They were doing their best". There is a healthy step there, some degree of allowing yourself to blame them, *​externalizing*, which can still be done without hate. You can be mad at someone without it going too far.

I think THIS is what's necessary in the gender wars as well - ​and imo a lot of women are already there tbh, say hello to your objectively more dating opportunities you consider useless because men kinda ​suck​. There is a healthy way of externalizing as a man too, but​ unfortunately for women, that will​ NEVER​ look like "there is quite literally nothing difficult or frustrating about dating women".

​Men should relativise​, and see heterosexual dating​ as an arbitrarily specific area of life they were born into, ​which does not define them​. So yea, acknowledge ​women's specific needs for generalizable qualities, however difficult it may be to pinpoint them​. At least know ​that ​they ​​ARE arbitrary and instinctive. Something about wanting confidence, relying on the man to kick things off proactively, or ​yes, even height preferences. Think about how things look like for gay men if you have to.

I think a lot of this "​manospherian stuff" is touching on real, valid things that COULD be ​straight up healthy to talk about, and which men should therefore ​refuse to shut up about. The important thing that is on us is to strive to know the difference between healthy​ externalizing and hatred. Not "don't externalize". That is just wrong and unhealthy.