Women are disingenuous when complementing each other as a way to appear better than they are

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-06-13T23:59:05+00:00

Omg this went in waay too deep.

I see a friend post a photo of themselves, clearly feeling happy or proud of themselves. I comment or like to show that I love that they're happy.

Being nice is free. Lifting each other up is free.

I like making my friends feel good. That's literally all it is.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2021-06-13T20:53:50+00:00

The "body positivity"-type complimenting and the competing largely happens in two different spheres. It's easier to compliment strangers online because there's no social cost to being nice to someone you'll never meet. (The inverse is also true.)

Things are a little more complicated with friends and people in your life: with friends there tends to be more honesty, but also more envy and fake modesty in certain situations, especially when you're being compared in some kind of public or social environment. That's because people who are close to you feel more like a "threat" than some random influencer or celebrity who you'll never meet and aren't competing for the same guys with.

In other words jealousy is inversely correlated with distance. "Distance" in terms of how well you know them and also in terms of the difference in your looks (or the strength of your attributes). It's the same phenomenon you see with sports rivalries or any other sort of competitive domain.

flamingoinghome · 2021-06-14T09:16:09+00:00

These women are complimenting each other because they're friends and want to make their friends smile. They think these women are lovely because they're their friends. You're overthinking this.

ivy176 · 2021-06-14T01:35:10+00:00

I don't agree. Women know we have different standards to men and society's view of perfect looking women. We see things like great skin, amazing eyebrows, nice hair, a nice makeup look, a nice outfit, a photo where the woman is looking her best and we compliment those things. "Stunning xx" is not communicating "I think you could be a model in a very superficial industry that doesn't value diversity!" or "You are stunning in a way that makes you top 10% of women and all men will lust for you!", and it CERTAINLY never means "if I say this then that makes me PERFECTION if I have any features more stereotypically desirable!" lol. It literally just means "I think my friend is looking great in this photo, it's a great photo of her, I love my friend and see many pretty qualities in her, I find her look in this photo pleasing to the eye"

Most women would assume their friends are just being sweet and would not then go and see something different in the mirror and start thinking they're a supermodel when they don't have that type of look.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-06-13T22:11:51+00:00

Women complement each other insincerely, the same way men clown each other and don't mean it.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-06-14T03:42:36+00:00

If I compliment a women or anyone I genuinely mean it. I wont bother if I dont.

If shes overweight but looked nice I would say you look nice. Its not me 'supporting being fat'. You can be overweight and still look nice. All sizes can dress nice still, or they have a great haircut, etc.

Also just because one may be less attractive than you doesn't mean they dont look pretty wearing a great dress, etc.

I many not say you look pretty but I love that dress it looks good on you. Even someone overweight wearing certain clothes will look better on them so they look nice for their body type.

Mimoxs · 2021-06-13T21:25:55+00:00

many women feel the need to compete with each other constantly

Between ages 11-16, yeah.

Do they really view women that are less attractive than them as beautiful?

Despite what you'll hear from men here, most women severely underrate themselves. It is female nature to think we are ugly and to be insecure over our appearance, to think we are not good enough. The most beautiful girls I've seen in my life usually had self esteem problems and would think they were ugly.

The endless stream of positivity that men mistake for women being arrogant/overestimating themselves is really just done because naturally, we think we are not beautiful. That is innate female nature. Men care significantly less, naturally at least, they have to be made to care about their appearance by some experience or circumstance, whereas it is drilled into women from the time we are young that we have to be pretty because you have to understand a lot of a woman's perceived worth is staked in how pretty she is.

As a result, telling a girl friend that she is pretty is saying she has worth, indirectly. It's really that simple. Saying "you have worth" sounds too cheesy, but "you're so pretty!" is a way of saying "you have worth" that will feel genuine to the female recipient.

It is also female nature to have a sense of, and I hate this word but, solidarity with other females. I don't think men can comprehend or understand the innate female drive to help and uplift other women, because you don't have that among yourselves.

makinganimerealer · 2021-06-13T20:58:23+00:00

I always thought they were just doing it as an emotional back-scratch. "If I lie to you when you need your mood up, please lie back to me for the same reason."

Do they really view women that are less attractive than them as beautiful?

I do think women notice each other's beauty-work more than men do. For us, it's just about who's fuckable, for them, it can be how another woman's done her makeup or arranged her hair or got everything on point even if she's not necessarily a stunner.

GridReXX · 2021-06-13T20:59:13+00:00

No. It’s genuinely because we know some people feel better with the validation. It’s makes us feel better that they feel good about themselves and not depressed.

I can’t even relate to the rest of your reasoning. It seems foreign and male-like.

1Here4Bach · 2021-06-13T23:25:41+00:00

This is very male centric thinking.

vial_of_music · 2021-06-14T02:03:41+00:00

as a women i wouldn’t comment on someone who is overweight that they are physically easy on the eyes.. because they aren’t. it’s unhealthy. but it’s also not like i would insult them either. i just wouldn’t say anything

i also don’t agree with the women over the ages of like 21 competing with each other.. no one has time or energy to care about other peoples lives like that

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2021-06-14T02:20:54+00:00

Yes, woman are building each other up because straight men.

That's it, you've cracked the code.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-06-13T21:01:52+00:00

That’s just women supporting each other as friends. It’s normal. Do you not have friends that build you up and support you? How strange.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-06-14T02:05:31+00:00

As a woman, I would agree that there’s often some level of dishonesty/exaggeration in order to appear nicer and be liked. However, we also tend to genuinely find a far wider range of women beautiful than men do. Men are looking for very specific and objective traits that can’t be changed easily, like youthful face with delicate symmetrical features and slim hourglass body. So to them, any woman who falls outside this model is just objectively not pretty no matter how impeccable her style or makeup or how radiant her smile. Women appreciate a lot more kinds of beauty and tend to focus on style elements like makeup, hair, clothing that make up a woman’s entire aesthetic rather than just her basic bangability. So just because a woman compliments another woman you don’t find attractive doesn’t mean she’s lying. That being said, we are also aware of where men would put different women on a scale and realize if we’re “hotter” than our friend, even if we personally find her gorgeous. Hope that makes sense.

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-13T21:17:31+00:00

Nope. I love the people I love and want to hype them up.

I have noticed this is not true for many men though.

I don't understand why you're around people you don't love enough to compliment them?

extrachromozomes · 2021-06-13T20:17:12+00:00

Women being kind to each other isn’t that deep lol

Swimming-Role-5587 · 2021-06-13T21:35:42+00:00

You want so see the real nature of women see how they comment/talk about very attractive women (9/10). It's very hard for extremely attractive women to have close female friends cause they all resent her, the attention they get from men, etc. Seen it play out in the office and with friends girlfriends.

The dynamic you're speaking about, with fat/unattractive women getting all those compliments. It's like patting a special needs child on the back for these women. All comes back to the same virtue signalling circlejerk for a lot of these women. They want to feel good about themselves for doing/saying something charitable.

Fat/ugly women, children, puppies, black people and visible minorities, to the privileged attractive white woman all these groups are below her in the totem pole so she feels good about saying "good job!" and patting them on the back. As if giving a "lesser" person her attention is a huge gift they should be thankful for.

nyclaurco · 2021-06-14T02:46:31+00:00

we see beauty in the ones who we love, respect, or admire, even if it’s not conventional beauty.

iamsojellyofu · 2021-06-14T19:08:11+00:00

Are we only suppose to compliment conventionally attractive women?

TotalTravesty · 2021-06-13T20:41:56+00:00

Sounds like you're projecting your own competitiveness on random women, or expect them to treat their fat friends the same way you would.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-06-13T23:16:37+00:00

I'm apart of a makeup group on fb , in this group I see very unattractive people post wanting advice to look better on make up techniques etc , you'll see remarks of you're a queen , don't worry what others think etc . I'd like to give advice to actually help them look better, but feel it would cause controversy so I just scroll on shaking my head lol 😆

Robotemist · 2021-06-13T21:44:31+00:00

Someone on here put it perfectly.

Men say mean things to each other and don't mean it

Women compliment each other and don't mean it.

It's all based on societies expectations for each of us. We highlight flaws in men and tear them down so we can overcome obsticals in order to compete and build up society.

Women treat other women how they want to be treated, which is emotionally supporting them at the expense of reality.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-06-14T00:46:19+00:00

That's just being friendly, those compliment aren't for men to think anything about, they're for other women, that's just how a lot of social circles work with women

Ambitious_Mulberry_8 · 2021-06-14T13:10:49+00:00

I don’t think women are this ruthless. It is an over correction for trying to make the fat girl feel better at best:

Physiologist21 · 2021-06-14T17:29:56+00:00

Yes, both on purpose and by function. Women always will give the societally acceptable response even if they disagree. Men have muscles, women have words.

Ask women what they think about being a prostitute and even if it disgusts them theyll give you an answer like

“Women should be able to do what they want, its not for me, but if they like it you go girl”

Would you want your daughter to be a prostitute?

“Oh hell no”

And this is why you never listen to what women say, just watch what they do.

ConsistentSeaweed214 · 2021-06-13T20:31:28+00:00

Body positivity in general is just a way for mediocre women to get away with doing the bare minimum body wise in the dating scene, the amount of overweight women with overblown egos I see on a daily basis is very disturbing. Don't get me wrong, of course there's a lot of overweight men, but no one is calling them handsome for the most part.

There's also the commercial aspect, marketing towards fat women and telling them that their bodies are healthy/attractive creates a new niche avenue to make money from.

Anthony-waltzs · 2021-06-13T21:18:34+00:00

This is a fact I see this happening on Tik Tok all the time, women will support ugly or fat women who they don't see as “competition” but when a more attractive woman appears income they hate comments. Having confidence is one thing, thinking your a goddess is another and that's what these women are telling these ugly girls. Then they get surprised because it's not matching their dating lives full-on delusional.

Kind_Afternoon_7569 · 2021-06-13T22:32:55+00:00

They're not competing, they may have rivalries, fragmenting mutual friends and the most popular woman will feel pride & loser will take a hit to her self worth. Fragments mutual friends can stay fragmented, it's not knows how long the split will last, if not forever and it's why you see women change friends, especially in school, you notice girls changing best friends/groups of and a lot more so than boys. It's not socially acceptable to for boys to fight, but if you were from a time when boys self policed and fought a friend. Boys would scrap it out, then immediately regroup and appreciate resulting new found respect caused.

Women complimenting each other, is getting them high on their own supply and they need each other to get them high. It even works for left, affirmation anything they do, gets them off more than actually doing anything right and why they can't debate/downvote and stay as a collective so they can't be wrong. Its a dopamine den, chasing away the lows and chasing that high.

Mustbeaight · 2021-06-13T22:44:06+00:00

Lol I’m dead when I see women calling these obese women beautiful and it’s clear as day neither them nor the obese women really believe that deep down.. atleast when a guy gives another guy a compliment.. he means it..

mightfloat · 2021-06-13T23:36:31+00:00

They do stuff like that to remove accountability and cope with being the weaker sex. That’s why they have to constantly shout “women are powerful” “god is a woman” “we don’t need a man” “all women are beautiful” etc

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LMM-GT02 · 2021-06-14T08:31:39+00:00

Every girl got an altruistic front. Complimenting each other frivolously is like laundering ill-gotten virtue. Everyone does it, ever see a girl meet someone they know from their past while traveling about, “heeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!!” Guys just go bro-ape mode with some chill acknowledgement or some caveman-derivative ritual handshake/interaction.

I mean we just trying to be what the world wants out of us so we switch up to meet those expectations because it might be easier than treating people entirely differently how they fit into your life.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-14T14:26:26+00:00

Lies and flattery fuel society

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-06-14T14:40:25+00:00

So it's a gender-wide circle-jerk?

shantih · 2021-06-14T16:13:08+00:00

It's called virtue signaling and it's not related to gender

AntWillFortune15 · 2021-06-15T06:49:58+00:00

Not even remotely true...thanks for wasting my time

chubbybutt22 · 2021-06-17T17:45:17+00:00

Or they’re just being nice and trying to make their friends feel good.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-13T20:11:45+00:00

[removed]

Title	Women are disingenuous when complementing each other as a way to appear better than they are
Author	hesipullupjimbo445
Upvotes	33
Comments	248
Date	June 13, 2021 8:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nz4q73/women_are_disingenuous_when_complementing_each/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-are-disingenuous-when-complementing-each.782493 https://theredarchive.com/post/782493

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