Boy bullied at school for having a My Little Pony bag, school blames the victim and bans him from bringing the bag to school. (x-post /r/news)

HerrGrimfang · 2014-03-15T12:04:03+00:00

“Saying a lunchbox is a trigger for bullying is like saying a short skirt is a trigger for rape,” said the boy’s mother “It’s flawed logic; it doesn’t make any sense.”

Seriously? The school is calling this a "trigger for bullying"? That's the solution? That's some horse shit, but the boy seems to be handling the situation really well at least.

2014-03-15T12:06:51+00:00

But when I was unable to cope, it was the fear of not living up to such expectations that led me to almost taking my own life. What stopped me was another man’s understanding of how I was feeling. Perhaps we need to redefine the meaning of masculinity, stop telling males to “man up”, and start showing them that grown men do actually cry.

Has anyone told the school this? It's a divine piece of advice.

ZimbaZumba · 2014-03-15T14:02:11+00:00

Do they ban girls from bringing little pony bags. Title IX?

Presumably they ban chess sets and lengthy books, as kids get bullied for bringing them and it causes discord.

liquid_j · 2014-03-15T15:09:17+00:00

To all the fuckwads saying this kid deserved it. I bet if i looked into each and every one of your lives i could find somthing to bully you about. Fact is bullys prey on the weak, so his mlp fixation, while not my cup of tea, is irrelevent. Funny how people on this sub claim to be about freeing men from the bulshit roles imposed on us but when some young boy decides to deviate from his assigned male role you vilify him. Fuck you, you god damned hypocrites. This little dude deserves oir support, not our scorn.

suugakusha · 2014-03-15T15:17:28+00:00

All the people here who say that he deserved it for bringing a MLP bag to school really don't understand the MRM.

It's about EQUALITY, not trying to preserve some stupid archaic notion of what a man "has to be".

People like these are why the media doesn't respond well to us; even if they are the minority, they are a vocal minority.

HoppsB · 2014-03-15T14:31:32+00:00

In highschool I knew a guy that was WAY inot power puff girls. He wore shirts, backpack, lunchbox, braclets, and even painted his nails with power puff stuff. At first i thought he was a bit odd, but hey he can like what ever he wants and PPG's was pretty cool, not decked out to the 9's cool to me but still pretty cool. Anyway, this power puff guy was seriously the most ALPHA dude i ever knew. After i got to know him i found out he was the dude all the chicks got with, every week was a new girlfreindand he played on the sports team. Moral of the story, just because you like somehting "girly" doesn't mean you are any less of a man.

Coelacanth0794 · 2014-03-15T20:09:29+00:00

I'm really disappointed with some of the people in this thread. Here you guys are preaching about the rights of men and boys, yet the minute someone identifies as a fan of My Little Pony (brony) you jump straight down their throat.

I'm not into the show myself (but am interested in following it one day), but JESUS CHRIST, I wouldn't stoop so low as to reprimand and harp on a devoted male fan to the point of lobbing offensive remarks at him.

And when it's a kid, that's a whole 'nother level. You subtly start blaming HIM for the bullying, putting the onus on HIM to change just like the school had done. What the fuck, guys!

If someone took the comments in this thread and held it up as an example of the Mens Rights movement harboring traditionalist assholes, I'm actually not going to defend you against that charge this time. Maybe you should learn to practice what you preach instead of dog-piling on a man (or a boy for that matter) who is into My Little Pony while moaning and groaning about when feminists employ the same tactics to men who are into masculine interests.

To those thinking this is how it works in the real world?

The next time someone throws statistics at you about how males are the major perpetrators of sexual and domestic violence and claiming this how it is in the real world, remember the attitude you displayed to a brony then look straight in the mirror when you protest.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2014-03-15T15:14:28+00:00

This victim-blaming is truly disgusting.

Bullying is unfortunately common, but it isn't "genetic". Humans have free will and therefore bullies need to be held accountable for their actions.

The idea that a bullying victim SHOULD change himself and try to fit in so as to not "trigger" bullying is one I had shoved at me my whole damn life. As if it wasn't the bullies' fault for doing what they did...

Individuality is a value. It is a good thing and it needs to be encouraged. Victim-blaming the victims of bullying for being "too non-conforming" is disgusting and spiritually Stalinistic.

carbuncles1984 · 2014-03-15T11:18:42+00:00

These Stalinist policies from the school district is ridiculous. America is not only becoming a feminist sponsored nanny-state, but the nanny-state is now dictating the gender norms of our children. Ridiculous!

cynwrig · 2014-03-15T13:16:03+00:00

Officials from Buncombe County Schools,

I'm not surprised. This is the county that put the word "bunkum" in the dictionary. I am mighty pleased to see their elected officials are working hard to stay true to their oratory traditions.

echief · 2014-03-15T17:41:07+00:00

I'm definitely not a fan of My little Pony but if its what makes the kid happy then he should be free to do whatever he wants. The thing that is wrong here is that a young kid was bullied to attempted suicide and then the school blamed him for "triggering" the bully, not what the kid chose to enjoy.

kragshot · 2014-03-15T19:07:50+00:00

So.

Part of the MRM is about accepting "alternative" concepts of masculinity where each boy or man can define his own rules about who and what he is. But I see folks on here shaming the boy for basically being a young brony.

Yeah, I said it. The kid is a brony.

I don't know whether he demonstrates "effeminate behavior" or "has other latent gay tendencies." All I know is that he likes MLP, so that makes him a brony.

And I'm cool with that. And so should every man in here who calls himself an advocate for the MRM.

You motherfuckers who are blaming the mother and the boy for all of this need to check yourselves for promoting that kind of shit. The bullies and the school are the ones who are fucking up.

And we as supporters of the MRM need to be willing to support all variants on masculinity based upon the simple idea that a man gets to choose his own definition of manhood; not other men, not women, but himself.

Mutant_Dragon · 2014-03-15T15:33:07+00:00

Found the original source, if it's any help.

http://fox10tv.com/2014/03/12/mom-school-called-pack-a-trigger-for-bullying/

2014-03-15T18:08:42+00:00

A school in California did the exact same thing with American Flag t-shirts. I guess the new thing is to blame the people being bullied.

T-Shirt story

The kid was right to expect some teasing and he is right that it went too far. The school is definitely in the wrong here.

cygne · 2014-03-15T15:35:35+00:00

Educators should be teaching kids that they are free to be themselves. Not "conform or you deserve to be bullied."

Ashken · 2014-03-15T16:39:59+00:00

I'm going to repost my opinion here from the original post because I stand by this ideal:

This is the first time I've been pretty upset by what you guys are saying. So much victim blaming, its a crying shame.

Now, if this kid was 13+, it would be a different story because the kid would be growing out of that kind of stuff by then. But 9? You guys think its okay to let a 9 year old get bullied because he likes MLP? He's 9. Yes, he's bound to be bullied, but I would rather teach that he needs to stand up and be the person he wants be (which he seems to be doing just fine on his own) , and teach those bullies that they cannot impose their will upon people.

But you guys are supporting this decision, which I believe is an abhorrent decision to make. I mean, yeah, it may appear to have nipped this problem in the bud. It probably would if they were backpack hating advocates. But it wasn't the backpack they were fighting. It was the idea behind the fact that he likes MLP, that he was different. I don't want to jump in too specific and say they were being homophobic, because I'd need more evidence. And the kid himself doesn't seem gay, just that he likes MLP.

Anyways, these kids had the mentality that called for them to attack and assault someone solely because they think he shouldn't be different. This is, of course, a horrible mentality to have. And the school, rather than trying to teach these children that their hate and intolerance is wrong, reinforced their behavior and mentality but banning this kid from being different. This is what those bullies have learned about the world now, this is how they will start to see it. They'll start to see that if they push hard enough, they can shape the world into what they believe is right, rather than trying to get along with people and accept everyone's differences. That's the kind of power we as teachers, as adults, posses. It may bot have been the school's intention, it was very indirect. But even if these bullies get punished, they'll still observe the fact that they got what they want through violence.

"But he shouldn't have been wearing that kind of stuff anyways, he was asking for it." Are you fucking serious? So now we're just going to tell our children to just act like other kids so they won't get picked on? Am I the only person seeing a problem with this? You told this kid he can't wear a perfectly fine, in no way obscene or offensive, backpack to school. This didnt solve the problem, it just postponed it. That school is trying to fix an engine crack with duct tape.

You think he's getting picked on over a backpack? If he brought in a MLP T-shirt, and he got picked on, they'd probably ban him from wearing all MLP products. Then, they may start harassing other kids that are into the show. So, then what? All little boys are banned from bringing MLP products to school?

Yeah, this was an easy decision to make, won't take up any resources at all. But, I bet the bullying won't stop. Cause they've already labeled him as different. They know who he is and they know he likes MLP, and they have a problem with that. Why would they let a backpack stop them? This was a shitty decision that is preserving these kids' shitty mentality. Yeah, it was an easy call to make. But, not at all the best one. It does take a lot of cooperation to change a bully's mentality. I guess that's why they say it takes a village to raise a child. Because everyone needs to help these kids get the message. Every teacher, administrator, parent, whatever have to come together and tell these bullies that intolerance I wrong. Itd be a different situation if we were talking 15-16 year olds. But 9-10? These kids are still learning what's socially acceptable and how to treat their peers. And they just got the message that its acceptable to fight that which you don't like simply because its different. We always complain about how people that are our peers act this way, and this is the perfect example of the origins of this kind of behavior. If you want to start getting rid of this intolerant mentality, you have to start with the children, and you have to start now.

Edit:

I should probably explain that I was upset in this comment when I posted it in the original thread in /r/news yesterday, not upset at the people in this thread. I was just too lazy to rewrite all these points all over again so I reposted the whole comment. So don't pay attention the context of the post with regards to the thread, just the article.

pl0xy · 2014-03-15T17:02:38+00:00

"Teach your kids not to bully, don't teach me not to bring things that make people want to bully me"

But really, kid should be allowed to bring in his MLP bag if he wants.

SpaceKraken23 · 2014-03-15T12:07:46+00:00

a boy being picked on by his peers for liking something targeted at girls? never heard that one before. he shouldn't have been removed from school over this though.

VersatileFaerie · 2014-03-15T16:20:39+00:00

I swear, every time I see something horrible about rights in the news it ends up being in my state, I really need to move...

2014-03-15T18:05:44+00:00

"No violence" in MLP? Lolwut

danno147 · 2014-03-15T20:41:26+00:00

So the lesson here is conform or be destroyed. Let's just grind society to a halt because change and progress is scary.

BigMeanGreen · 2014-03-15T17:16:20+00:00

Next they'll be saying 'Race is a trigger for racism' or 'Homosexuality is a trigger for homophobes'. Cripes..

MS2point0 · 2014-03-15T18:12:42+00:00

What's with all the trolls in this thread?

Salient0ne · 2014-03-15T16:52:50+00:00

Poor kid, that's complete bullshit. I've always said that the only purpose our schools serve is to break you down and prepare you corporate slavery.

shibbidybibbidy · 2014-03-15T17:24:13+00:00

Absolutely ridiculous to tell him this is his fault and he can't bring his bag to school.

Good for the mom and boy for standing up for what is right and what he wants. Bringing media attention to this sort of situation usually helps.

Keep on liking whatever you want buddy, that is the society we are supposed to be living in now.

starbuxed · 2014-03-15T21:40:40+00:00

Don't schools have a zero tolerance bullying policy? I mean I was bullied and picked on thourgh out school, because I was emotional, therefore an eazy target.

Realworld · 2014-03-15T21:45:47+00:00

scroll... scroll...

North Carolina, of course.

2014-03-15T21:56:31+00:00

He was asking for it because he brought in a mlp bag right? This makes me sick. We're at a tipping point now, society wants to overcompensate for female injustices in the past by creating an issue and then ignoring it. How is this school getting away with this? Which assuredly they will. It's one thing to be aware of social injustices, it's another entirely to have the wool pulled over your eyes and ask for more please.

MidgardDragon · 2014-03-16T00:44:06+00:00

Yeah, so remember this shit the next tme youd eciee to bully bronies (many of whim are teens) about this shit. If you do not then you have no right to complain about this,

2014-03-16T03:52:11+00:00

Whilst I would fully expect a boy with a My Little Pony bag and toys to be bullied at school, banning him from bringing the bag is the wrong move.

They should have just been honest with him and told him the truth; That there are mean, bigoted assholes in the world who will beat down anyone that doesn't act the same and like the same things as everyone else, and so you're going to keep making yourself a target as long as you keep bringing this in and letting people know things about you that they see as deserving of punishment.

And then they should have suspended the bullies.

Rainymood_XI · 2014-03-16T11:30:56+00:00

Kids are viscious, but also rather naive. Kids don't bully people because they are inherently bad people, kids bully because they receive a positive response from other kids.

A kid is just goofing around, doing ... a bit of everything, he points out that kid B is different, people think, hey haha he is indeed different, and join in, bully receives a positive response and continues.

This gets reinforced by the fact that kids are taught NOT to fight back and to indirectly encourage bullying by 'waiting it out' instead of immediately striking back. Being bullied really really really hurts the kid being bullied, for a VERY long time (can continue into adulthood).

tl;dr Kids often dont know they are bullying and somebody needs to step up and HARSLY tell the kid to NEVER do X again. Kids don't shit what they are doing and just do whatever gets A response (be it negative/positive). Kids need to learn to speak up.

2014-03-16T12:16:38+00:00

The kid is 9. Let him like whatever the fuck he wants.

NightmareFiction · 2014-03-15T12:41:38+00:00

First of all, if as a boy you bring a MLP lunchbox to school, you're asking for trouble. That's simply how the playground tends to work. Bullies will find something to pick on people for, and going against what are considered the social norms for that age makes you a prime target.

It's funny that his mother used the "short skirt = rape" example, as that too follows the same concept. No, wearing a short skirt or taking an MLP lunchbox to school is not an open invitation to abuse, but it makes you stand out in the eyes of someone looking to do harm.

That said, if this kid is being physically hit, that needs to stop regardless of what the reason behind it is. That was this school's misstep IMO.

CyberSoldier8 · 2014-03-15T15:14:49+00:00

Anybody who wears expressive items like this needs to be ready for the consequences. There's a reason I don't wear an "I hate niggers" shirt to class, it's because I like not getting my teeth smashed in. I learned that lesson when I put a magpul sticker on my car and then some liberal fucking douche keyed it.

Let the kid wear his backpack, but if he gets treated like a social outcast, he's got no one to blame but himself. People are cruel, that's life. Better to learn that lesson now then when he walks into a job interview with that same backpack and gets turned down.

ClintHammer · 2014-03-15T11:47:52+00:00

I know this is going to be unpopular, but what people who work with children always tell me that, it's sad, but the kids who are targeted by bullies usually bring that attention on themselves.

I think walking around with a MLP bag does just that

AusNation · 2014-03-15T12:46:19+00:00

MRA's should join Feminists in this. Both are fighting for the feminisation of boys

Grailums · 2014-03-15T18:42:46+00:00

While I don't care for the MLP culture that has come from that show I think more news outlets need to make stories like these mainstream. Think about it, a story like this goes fully against the feminist message.

Clearly any boy with a MLP lunchbox has been taught not to rape. At the same time when that boy becomes an adult man he is going to be so socially awkward when he meets woman after woman who asks "why are there not any more real men in the world"?

Most of these women will be feminists shaming him for being interested in things only girls should be interested in.

that_nagger_guy · 2014-03-15T21:36:34+00:00

This is exactly how some feminists claim that rape victims are blamed for the rape, when they aren't. This is just disgusting.

lion27 · 2014-03-16T01:00:30+00:00

I mean... Come on. You let your kid go to school acting like a Brony and expect all to be well?

88high · 2014-03-15T16:30:44+00:00

Well, if the kid didnt want to get bullied, then he should learn to not bring the backpack to school. In the real world, there is nobody to punish bullies, instead you learn to fix what's wrong with you, and usually the bullies are right about this kind of stuff.

Zero1343 · 2014-03-15T13:31:56+00:00

Dont fucking bring shit to a place that can bring trouble. Fucking parents.

Also My little pony? What the fuck.

2014-03-15T18:02:55+00:00

No, its bully bait. Don't get so overzealous about inequality or gender roles on this one, gentlemen. I'm all about breaking barriers but that boy is just alienating himself. If you want equality, you have to strip individuality because with variation comes something different to notice and discriminate against. We are going through major transition and while I applaud progressive thinking, too much change abruptly leads to culture shock especially with under developed minds.

XWindX · 2014-03-15T13:56:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

dbie22 · 2014-03-15T14:29:53+00:00

I bet this happened in ''Murriiiiiiica!

2014-03-15T17:20:39+00:00

To be fair, they are right.

feelfreetomockme · 2014-03-15T14:14:52+00:00

MRA here but bronies are fucking dumb. I say he deserved it.

whitey_sorkin · 2014-03-15T14:13:19+00:00

"Nine year old Grayson Bruce says he was not surprised that other boys picked on him..."

So he went off to school intentionally starting a controversy.

2014-03-15T17:27:07+00:00

I agree with the school. This isn't /r/neckbeardrights.

2014-03-15T16:08:59+00:00

"Expressing yourself" through fashion is egoism. A school must operate single-mindedly in producing the next generation of revolutionaries who will preserve democratic institutions. Wearing an MLP shirt or a short mini-skirt is counter revolutionary.

Theophagist · 2014-03-15T14:27:42+00:00

At least someone is encouraging masculine behavior. It does have its drawbacks but life is hard and unfair that way.

Branweb9 · 2014-03-15T15:04:19+00:00

I think the school went about this wrong. However, a boy with a MLP bag is of asking for it, let's be real here.

PerfectHair · 2014-03-15T11:22:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

chins_buffet · 2014-03-15T18:31:44+00:00

He deserves it for being into "My Little Pony." The bullies are providing him a valuable service by deterring him from that deviant behavior.

wendysNO1wcheese · 2014-03-15T19:51:22+00:00

Oh waaah. Take off your stupid backpack then.

2014-03-15T16:57:13+00:00

I can only condone bullying bronies.

JeebusWept · 2014-03-15T16:14:35+00:00

I'm with the school on this.

wont_tell_i_refuse · 2014-03-15T23:00:11+00:00

Is it really a Men's Rights issue? Sounds more like a bullying issue or just an issue of educational policy to me.

Then again, I'm pro-bully because I think it develops you as a person, and the rights of bullies shouldn't be constrained. So I guess I'm a bit of an oddball there.

2014-03-15T14:55:07+00:00

http://www.returnofkings.com/28416/bronies-the-men-who-love-my-little-pony-are-losers

Sorry I ain't sorry.

2014-03-15T18:27:56+00:00

So you bring a feminine bag to school and expected to not get bullied?

squidward4444 · 2014-03-15T19:12:43+00:00

Wow, didn't think I would see the day that r/mensrights would upvote a feminist narrative. Is this really what we are fighting for? To encourage little boys act like little girls?

Title	Boy bullied at school for having a My Little Pony bag, school blames the victim and bans him from bringing the bag to school. (x-post /r/news)
Author	wabernack
Upvotes	605
Comments	365
Date	March 15, 2014 7:56 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/20gwf3/boy_bullied_at_school_for_having_a_my_little_pony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/boy-bullied-at-school-for-having-a-my-little-pony.1002735 https://theredarchive.com/post/1002735

Comments