How often do you see guys significantly overestimate their attractiveness?

Cimorene86 · 2021-09-15T23:53:07+00:00

There's 2 groups of men, in my experience.

Ones who rate themselves as too high, like they think they're an awesome, handsome af catch but honestly they are average or just slightly above, like a 6 or 7 at absolute most on a good day. I'd say this is probably about 20-25% of men.

Then there's ones who rate themselves too low, to the point I'm convinced some of them would be diagnosed with body dysmorphia. You can find many such men on forever alone/incel subs, where they constantly pick out the barest of physical flaws and act as though they are Cro-Magnons. This is probably about 10-15% of men.

Edit: And yes, a 3rd group who doesn't go too high or low. I honestly wasn't thinking of them at all since they're accurate.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-09-16T07:06:57+00:00

One factor that hasn't been brought up is greater female sexual selectivity.

So while a given man may be able to rank his own attractiveness fairly accurately, even by female criteria, in terms of say his how percentile among men, he may not account for the fact that women are pickier than men.

So maybe a man figures out he is a 70th percentile guy, even using female criteria. And he figures out a woman he is interested in is also a 70th percentile woman, by male criteria.

What he doesn't factor is that she isn't actually in his league. A 70th percentile woman is not actually interested in a 70th percentile man.

This is a major factor. Of course, I also believe that men overestimate their true ranking among men as well. So when you factor in both mistakes you get a lot of guys who do not really understand what their league is. If you are actually a 45th percentile guy, but think you are 65th percentile, and go after a 65th percentile woman, you end up very wrong in your assumptions.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-09-15T23:34:31+00:00

I experience it often as an escort. Many escorts do.

I dont ask how they look but sure enough they want to tell me how 'attractive-good looking' they are and they show up average at best. Most that say it are chubby, guts, man boobs, aged beyond their years, dress dated, etc.

The good looking ones never say a word about their looks.

Oh and to add, I get the 'Im fit' too when hes just skinny with no muscle tone/dad bod.

CloudBerryPunch · 2021-09-15T23:40:33+00:00

I can infer from Reddit that most men are attractive and look young for their age. They also all have stem degrees and good paying jobs that can support their wives while saving tons of money for retirement and their stock portfolios.

Dudes be full of it.

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-09-16T00:30:10+00:00

I don't think that very many people rate themselves badly, they might have a different judgement, but they judge their own gender equally. As in, if someone thinks that they are a 7, even if they are actually a 5, they typically judge other 5 women as a 7 aswell and 6 women as a 8 and 7 women as an 9 and etc.

I think the problems arises, not with how they judge themselves and their own gender, but with how they judge the other gender. As in, you can't judge the scores between genders, like how you judge your own gender.

Like the male 5/6 for average? Good enough face + normal body = average? That same criteria ain't a 5/6 with women, because just being skinny raises your score as a woman, because of how important that is to men, while the male equivalent is having some frame or something. A guy not being fat doesn't have the same value as a girl not being fat.

But people in general don't do that, they judge themselves like they judge the opposite gender and different features are valued in general for both genders. You need to judge your score based on what's valued in general, or you are just scoring yourself for that special guy/girl that finds the same shit important as you do. So not a general score.

chalkandapples · 2021-09-16T01:12:40+00:00

Men IRL don't ever rate their attractiveness in front of me. I haven't met much egotistical men where I feel like they're overly estimating their attractiveness either. If a guy is egotistical, it's usually because he thinks he's making a lot of money or something.

reignoferror00 · 2021-09-15T23:55:36+00:00

What was that online study a while back that had women over 3/4 of men as unattractive?
Think the men's view of woman's attractiveness was more evenly distributed.

blueribbonskies · 2021-09-16T00:32:10+00:00

Look at that chart of looks for truerateme, it makes it very clear they are harsher on women and overate men as other men. That's why your perception is this way.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-09-16T03:37:12+00:00

think that as a guy, unless you’re really hot 8+ or really ugly 2-, it’s hard to gauge your true attractiveness level.

I disagree. I believe that it's quite easy as a man to figure out your relative standing. After all, you have specific and exacting characteristics to measure. What's your height? How large is your penis? Do you have severe acne or psoriasis? Are you balding? Do you have a visible jaw line? Do you have a low body fat percentage?

Just knowing those characteristics is enough to know whether you're above or below average, all of which are eminently and tangibly measurable.

I do agree that FACE WISE ONLY, some ugly to below avg men (3-5) rate themselves as 5s or 6s.

funlightmandarin · 2021-09-16T09:37:31+00:00

It's of no use to rate your own attractiveness. The only rating that matters is what the sex you're trying to attract thinks of you.

CloacaDiddler · 2021-09-16T03:05:37+00:00

Go on truerateme, guys with unibrows and heavy eyelids are getting 7s and 8s while literal professional models get 3-5 and lotssss of private messages. Most of the raters on the sub are male and vastly overestimate other men’s attractiveness while negging women and saying her philtrum is two quarters too long and makes her midface appear oval and asymmetrical, an unforgivable disadvantage

missyrus · 2021-09-15T23:37:12+00:00

This is interesting. Most of the women I know rate themselves as 3-5 and I think they’re more like 6-7s. The guys rate themselves so high though lol.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-09-16T01:24:11+00:00

Here's the issue....

How a person rates themselves is usually not accurate, how a person of the same gender rates you is usually also inaccurate. (Speaking about hetero only here)

A woman looking at her friend and rating her, will inherently not be able to look at her like a GUY would. Vice versa.

I think once upon a time guys did, but nowadays women are the ones with over inflated egos and opinions of themselves, this has been my personal experience.

I would also say what age range are we talking about.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-09-15T23:27:55+00:00

how would I ever see this

SaBahRub · 2021-09-15T23:57:56+00:00

I don’t

Overestimating their charm or social status is way more common, as is getting mad that they’re not hot enough

goatismycopilot · 2021-09-16T00:06:39+00:00

I remember a while back when people posted pictures in a purge thread and there were several guys who hinted they were ugly but I liked their look. Conversely all the conventionally attractive guys others said ooooooh I was meh about. So I think conventionally attractive men probably know they are attractive but there a bunch of men who think they are ugly but are not.

There is also the distinct possibility that I am a fucking weirdo and I am cool with that.

statsfodder · 2021-09-16T00:58:27+00:00

Seeing as looks are subjective .... yes ... and same goes for women

donoyonoton · 2021-09-16T04:00:32+00:00

I don't usually hear my guy friends rate themselves, but the low ranking guys often times have no idea how low they are, and the higher ranking guys either don't realize or are just too humble to rate themselves accurately. Average looking girls seem to always rate themselves around 8 or something, and high ranking girls bounce between complete narcissism and self hate. That's my experience.

Vyrnoa · 2021-09-16T15:59:03+00:00

I think the preppy ones or athletic types tend to overestimate while the typical 'incels' arent nearly as bad looking as they think.

Narcissists overestimate. Depressed/people with low self esteem people underestimate

TheElusivePeacock · 2021-09-16T03:08:12+00:00

I think men over estimate and women under estimate. I have witnessed way more unattractive men think they are “average or ok” or even “pretty handsome”, while weirdly I’ve seen attractive women think they are below average. If I hit a bar or club tonight I would probably find maybe 4 men I thought were good looking. Most I would find forgettable. I’d probably find 30-40 women that I thought were pretty or even beautiful/gorgeous and definitely memorable. And that’s an average night out at a place for me. Yet I routinely see men over estimate themselves. Those men rarely get dates or end up getting used by women far more attractive than them, so take from that what you will.

06534956 · 2021-09-16T03:13:17+00:00

To be quite honest, a lot. It’s a red flag for me if a man is too invested or involved with his looks.

Why are you focused on being pretty, instead of being masculine, you know?

modidlee · 2021-09-16T00:19:58+00:00

I think there’s more women who overestimate their looks and men who underestimate their looks tbh. This is because men pursue and a lot are desperate. So even the average looking woman has guys begging for her attention. So they think they must be beautiful.

CatchPhraze · 2021-09-16T00:18:33+00:00

All the time. I have mostly make friends. They have some notion that the tall handsome frirnd is the hottest, but they seem to see themselves as just slightly under him, even if they aren't. The are surprised by the different treatment they get by women.

AvonCat · 2021-09-16T04:57:11+00:00

Are you a 5/10 or a 9/10? Well, that would depend on who you’re asking. Some people that I think of as unattractive are considered to be ‘hot’ by their significant other.

Attractiveness is subjective, not absolute. You can’t ask someone “out of 10 how attractive are you” then tell them they’re wrong when they say they consider themself to be a 9/10

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Demasii · 2021-09-16T00:21:35+00:00

Different context causes different results. The research is based on various things like surveys and speed dating experiments.

It's considered socially unsavory to openly admit you are good looking. This is for both male and female.

heyitsjeape · 2021-09-16T03:16:48+00:00

Be careful about relying on these "studies." There's a reason they get wildly disparate results. I don't have anything else to add to this aside from, "studies," not meaning as much as you probably think.

Philip8000 · 2021-09-16T03:27:02+00:00

I'll admit, I don't see myself as very attractive: 3-4, depending on how much effort I make on that particular day. A couple of online women have rated me higher than that, but it's hard to see, given that my attempts at talking to women irl tend to go poorly. Perhaps just my own issue; idk.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-09-16T04:33:21+00:00

Based on this sub, I actually think guys underestimate their physical attractiveness. Where men REALLY seem to overestimate is in everything else. Kindness, intelligence, etc.

Blackagar59 · 2021-09-16T07:34:32+00:00

They all do it, dunno why.

I don't, but that's because I'm incredibly atractive.

OfSpock · 2021-09-16T10:32:10+00:00

I don't know how common it is, but I would say that the five guys who persisted the most in hitting on me after I rejected them, were below the average of guys who hit on me/my attractiveness level.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-09-18T09:12:39+00:00

It’s standard. Every time you guys rate yourself take away 2 Points. Sorry

michael1962-01 · 2021-09-16T06:41:27+00:00

As long as YOU rate yourself.... you are below.

If women chase you you are above.

That easy.

Lufiti · 2021-09-16T20:05:16+00:00

i feel like men just arent attractive. like theres nothing to really look at even when it comes to male models. they don't seem very soft and they don't smell right. i feel like almost all women are fairly attractive but ive only seen like 2 attractive men and neither were irl. idk i gave up on being attracted to a partner and just try to find a guy whos not a leech, narcissist or an asshole (its almost impossible). i think the most attractive thing a man can be is nurturing. they are great parents

Title	How often do you see guys significantly overestimate their attractiveness?
Author	Effective_Bullfrog92
Upvotes	28
Comments	164
Date	September 15, 2021 11:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pp1i0k/how_often_do_you_see_guys_significantly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-often-do-you-see-guys-significantly.1070211 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070211

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