For the women who follow FDS, what do you do for your "HVM" in turn?

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-19T15:05:01+00:00

Removed for bad faith

snowcakey · 2021-10-18T19:38:27+00:00

I agree with some FDS rhetoric (don’t engage in hook up culture ever & wait before sleeping with men) but that’s about it.

I wanted a nice vanity with lights for my skincare collection for so long, I had all my stuff sprawled on my bathroom counter and wanted something more clean. my bf spent a whole week gathering the materials and building a custom vanity just for me with my favorite colors, lights, etc.

My bf LOVES xiao long baos (soup dumplings), they are his childhood favorite food but they are very difficult to make. I secretly attended a cooking class after work where I learned how to make it, spent a few extra weeks perfecting my recipe, and now I make him xiao long baos whenever he wants because I know he enjoys them so much.

It’s dumb for women (or men) to constantly expect gifts & services from their SO while doing nothing in return.

Mimoxs · 2021-10-18T19:50:23+00:00

I used to spontaneously buy my bf gifts for no real reason. Like there would be games I knew he liked, and I would preorder them. And baked him stuff bc he liked baked goods.

Asmallnobody · 2021-10-18T23:12:10+00:00

This one example might make some cringe. So my hubby and i have the same hobby: pc gaming. His career also makes him leave overseas for months at a time. One time he was away for 6 months and was really upset that he would miss out on certain content in a game. So basically, every single day i went on his character and did the farming and dailies that were required to get the boxes, boxes that had a chance to to contain a legendary item which was needed to be relevant in game. So i stashed 6mo worth of daily boxes in his inventory. He eventually opened them and got 2 leggos in total. He didn't expect that since he knows i drop any project half way usually due to loss of focus or patience.

Other examples include making sure that when he is home i make his time as peaceful as possible. He doesn't let me do everything ofc, he does his duties around the house and does spoil me. But i always go ahead with the plan that yeah, no worries, I'll take care of this and that, repairs/cleaning around the house, cooking, keeping track of our social life just so we don't end up as house goblins with no IRL friends due to our hobby. 90% of the time he chooses to join in, out of his own accord which i greatly appreciate.

To some maybe all of the above seem trivial. But his work life is extremely stressful and leaving home for extended periods of times leave him sad and distraught. I do my best to make his life back at home as peaceful, happy and stress free as much as i can.

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-10-18T20:38:47+00:00

First of all, is there even a standard definition of an HVM? It's just like the mythical Chad; everyone has their own version of who Chad or an HVM is. Is the HMV affluent/highly educated/handsome? Or is the HVM a subjective guy such that one woman's HVM can be another one's LVM?

wtknight · 2021-10-18T20:50:19+00:00

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Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-18T19:51:34+00:00

I lurk too but I wouldn't say I follow. Like anything else (e.g. red pill) you take the important parts and throw out the rest. I wouldn't even know if it existed if you weren't for you people TBH.

Now, my partner is not a millionaire or a 6/6/6 or anything you'd think would impress FDS. But he's a good man, he pulls his weight, he was a godsend when my dad had leukemia. I have my pretty ring and he brings home flowers. Yay him, yay me. How do I reciprocate? I cook all his meals, I do his laundry, I financially supported him when he was disabled, I dole out his pills every week and I make his appointments and yes, I also find the time to throw in the occasional beej. (There's probably a ton of other stuff we do for each other so please for the love of whatever God you believe in don't argue with me because I didn't say your particular favorite in a short screed.)

I'm curious why you would think a man would be of high value to a woman if he never did anything for her though. Acts of service are common in any healthy relationship. What, she's just supposed to stare at him all day, or...?

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-10-19T04:38:18+00:00

Don't agree with alot of the FDS , However do agree about the saving your self for a good man . Finding a man that fulfills you , brings joy . My husband helps cook , clean, and tends to the doggies on the weeks I'm working . Will have my coffee prepared for me when I wake up . In return on my off weeks , I'll cook him homemade meals , roast , chicken fried steak gravy etc , he loves country style food . Which I enjoy cooking, cause it makes him happy . Also booked and planned a getaway this past weekend ,which was at a amusement park a state away, which is Halloween themed right now . We enjoy haunted houses , corn mazes, and amusement park rides . The faster the better lol . This is what I talk about , having a life after your kids are grown . Traveling when you want, and young enough to get around to enjoy it all , hahaha.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-18T20:54:28+00:00

He isn’t doing everything for her. He gave her a nice weekend. It was a very lovely and thoughtful way of showing her he cared. I am part of FDS because it’s dating advice my mom and grandmother taught me. I enjoy doing special things for the men I am with but I won’t do it if the gesture is not returned. We brag about the gestures men make online as a way of telling other girls that this sort of treatment by men is possible. Also because we finally found someone that is returning our appreciation, which is rare and HV

ilovepetya · 2021-10-18T22:18:42+00:00

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MountainNine · 2021-10-19T07:14:34+00:00

You both use your gifts, talents and passions to make the other person happy in a way no one else can or would.

My boyfriend has 2 cats he absolutely adores. A few months before Christmas, I went to his flat when he was out, using the excuse that I forgot a "book," but actually spent time posing his cats in proper lighting to take pics of them for reference. I composed a portrait of them and spent my 3 full days off that month painting a large portrait of them so he can hang it in the space in his entryway for which he had long been searching for a fitting painting.

On Christmas he got a painting of his beloved cats in a frame that matched his decor and style that would have cost hundreds had he got it done elsewhere.

That's just one gift. Other more daily life things include getting 1.5 day's worth of work done in 1 so that when you see each other, you can leave your phone in your purse and focus your attention on them. Baking his family their favorite desserts, supporting him with care and non-judgmental understanding when he needs it. Letting him cry it out and truly listening. Planning a weekend getaway and surprising him with it.

A HVW does things like these all the time, and a HVM does his equivalent - whatever it is - back for her.

ConsciousInternal287 · 2021-10-19T12:42:35+00:00

I don’t expect my partner to do anything for me that I wouldn’t do for them. I’m just sick of giving and giving and getting fuck all back/getting hurt.

DiamondLilyD · 2021-10-19T13:29:16+00:00

If it were me, I'd surprise him with gifts, cook for him, massage him when he needed it, help him out with little things, always be loyal.

But all of this from me is a given, with men it's an exceptional rarity and wanting it makes you a 'gold digging bitch' according to guys on here.

Endor-Fins · 2021-10-18T20:01:04+00:00

While I’m married and I’m a damn good wife I do not consider my husband to be high value. Still I’m in it. I do 90% of childcare, cook our meals from scratch, make all of our baked goods from scratch, run all of the errands, do the shopping, do the yard work and keep up all the appointments. I drive him to work and pick him up, I taught him how to lead (which allowed his career to flourish). I keep our home a spotless, warm and cozy place of peace for all of us. I use my talents to enrich our home and our kids’ lives. I am his personal and professional therapist, cut his hair, buy his clothes make his dentist appointments and remind him of them. I remind him to take his medication and help him keep his emotions even-keeled. I encourage his hobbies and fitness and help him carve out the time. I take as much as I can off his lap so he can focus on work as much as possible. He’s not a high value man and I do not love him but I still work very hard seven days a week to still be a high value woman myself and raise our children in a healthy and wholesome environment. I respect and appreciate how hard he works to support our family and I tell him that each and every day. Being the breadwinner is a difficult and stressful job.

LalaTheSecond · 2021-10-18T20:51:20+00:00

The standards at FDS seem normal to me. I have a HVM and have for a long time so it isn't a new relationship. It began way before FDS was even a thing. I'm considering him HVM because when I read the posts on FDS I feel good about my relationship and not the opposite so that's going to be my loose definition for this post.

We just do things for each other. I think he does a little more but guys do things like that when they actually like you. Still buys me flowers once or twice a month and makes me Sunday breakfasts. But I usually attribute this to good loving he receives on the the weekends. LOL. I know other women get jealous when he does things for me and that makes me feel good. How do I know? They straight up tell me.

I do nice things for him like buy clothes or shoes I'd think he'd like or pick up his favorite snacks. I buy gifts for his family members I'd think they would like when it's not a holiday. I give him massages when his back is sore or had a hard day.

All of this just seems kind of simple and obvious for a romantic relationship. It's more sad to me that people aren't finding this to be true.

I would say that a man can't be HVM without giving small tokens of his affection or doing acts of service. It is easy and cheap and shows he's thinking of you. You can only judge people on their actions so if his actions show you aren't on his mind, you aren't.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-18T21:20:26+00:00

I have no clue whether my husband is a HVM by FDS standards (I know he isn't according to TRP), but I'll basically help him out with whatever.

VexingTetrimino · 2021-10-18T20:51:52+00:00

i would say that i'm about 70% FDS.

i do have high expectations for him to love, respect, and support me.

in return, i look at his dick once in a while. just kidding! i give him oodles of love, respect, and support.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-18T23:18:18+00:00

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historyhill · 2021-10-18T23:35:52+00:00

I think I've been away from the sub for a while because I'm not familiar with FDS. I glanced over their "about" section and it sounds like rather traditional/conservative dating strategies? Is there something different from that and/or Red Pill Women?

LadyM2 · 2021-10-18T23:28:36+00:00

So many pickmes here...

IcarusKiki · 2021-10-19T01:39:57+00:00

I dont follow FDS but I follow a lot of their practices. The point is that you can totally become a submissive sweetheart bangmaid for your man but only if he deserves it and is worth it. Females in nature are the selective sex not the performative one so it is in womens best interest to be picky and weed out the LVM from their dating pool. If women gave every guy who was into her a chance she would be 80 by the time she found the best one for her.

Willow-girl · 2021-10-19T02:50:16+00:00

That little thing with my tongue ...

chalkandapples · 2021-10-18T20:39:19+00:00

I don't follow FDS, but I simply do what I can within reason to make my husband happy. If I have the energy and think of an opportunity to do something that'll make him happy, I go for it. It's not really about reciprocation, I become happy and my heart warms when I see him happy and smiling. It's a similar feeling to when I do things to make my friends or family members happy too. I assume that this is what this lady's bf is trying to do too, he's just trying to make her happy and see her smile.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-18T23:19:01+00:00

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silent36 · 2021-10-19T12:59:35+00:00

I had to leave this thread. So many sweet stories I got cavities. Also I’m low key hating

angerproblemsTM · 2021-10-19T11:37:01+00:00

I don’t really follow FDS. Only agree with some things. But I would consider my partner a HVM.

I cook and bake for him, because he likes my cooking. We both play video games so we’ll buy each other stuff off each others steam wishlists and obviously we game together and that’s one of our favorite past times. I help him with his assignments for Uni and he proof reads mine because I tend to miss-spell things when I’m writing in the moment. I buy him clothes and gifts a lot of the time actually just because I want to - why wouldn’t I?

My question is why would anyone want to be in a relationship that is all give and no take? A relationship is a partnership. You do things for them because you love them and want to see them happy.

If I’m stressed out or have a busy week, my bf will clean the house and let me focus on my work and that works vice versa obviously.

FDS and men’s red pill tend to over complicate relationships I feel.

shepskybuddy · 2021-10-19T11:50:43+00:00

My partner has to leave alot earlier in the morning for work than me. So I get up early and make a packed lunch for him and a cup of tea in a travel mug so he's set up for the day and doesn't have to rush as much in the morning

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-10-19T09:04:30+00:00

What do I do for him?

I allow him to exist in my personal life. He hasn’t been ghosted yet.

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Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-10-18T22:54:45+00:00

I have a healthy body for bearing children: I eat a balanced diet, don't take prescriptions, I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, I have no Facebook and a low Snapchat score, no credit card debt.

Title	For the women who follow FDS, what do you do for your "HVM" in turn?
Author	SladeWilsonXL9
Upvotes	47
Comments	289
Date	October 18, 2021 7:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qatns7/for_the_women_who_follow_fds_what_do_you_do_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-the-women-who-follow-fds-what-do-you-do-for.1078784 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078784

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