reminder. none of us like this. but...(if you are serious about wanting a relationship with a quality man) you HAVE to meet a lot of men 🤢. finding hvm involves luck. if you go on as many dates as possible 😢you will increase your bleak, terrible odds.

🤮 i know it's awful

i know you don't want to 😰

it's a warzone and i have been there to know how ugly it is. i know there are way more HVW than there are HVM and so the odds are not ideal.

but you have fds armor (you know the red flags, the safety measures, vetting tools), so you have a HUGE advantage over other hvw who are still stumbling around in the dark and wasting time on lvm.

my suggestion is to think of dating as a part time job that will require a big chunk of your time and energy. but remind yourself that you are just picking up this "job" temporarily. it's short term. you can do anything for a short period of time. lets say you commit to it for one full month.

in that month, accept as many dates as possible. clear your schedule from other things the same way you would clear it to make time for a second job.

that might look different for different personalities. i personally preferred to meet people organically out in public. so if that's you, then that would mean that during that month you have to remind yourself every day that you are working your new "job". so when you leave the house you'll have to be mindful about what kind of people you want to attract (which means paying detailed attention to how you want to dress, how you carry yourself, how open you are to the world etc). you'll have to attend events, join a club or group, take a class, go volunteer somewhere and spend lots of time in public places alone being receptive and open to people. if you don't feel safe being alone that is valid!!! if you need to be amongst friends that can be okay, but remember to put in the effort to stand out by being open and receptive. you might only end up meeting people who are too old, too young, or you might end up just meeting a lot of women. but it's still 'dating" in the sense that it's networking. so it counts. Some women prefer to use online tools like dating apps. whatever it looks like for you, just commit to it for one painful disappointing month and go hard.

that's not to say you should accept dates with men who haven't cleared the bars you have laid out! if in that month you can't even find an acceptable man to accept a date from, that's okay. the point is to try.

also try to remember: women are always saying they hate men (and honestly that's often valid and justified). but what no one talks about is that a lot of PEOPLE suck. like A LOT. a lot of people are self serving, insecure (and hurt you because of it), they're entitled, emotionally unintelligent and they refuse therapy or work on themselves. a lot of people are not capable of loving you the way you want to be loved. so when you say you "hate" men, you might just be at your breaking point with lv people. you might not have even met a hv man before.

but i promise you they exist. you will never meet them if you keep lumping them together with the losers and refusing to meet them.

sometimes i feel like this sub really needs this reminder: go out into the world and meet the men 🤢🤢