If you discovered your son was redpill/incell/mgtow how would you handle that.

roaming_bartender · 2021-12-11T00:50:22+00:00

incel at 14 and 16

OP, you do realize that its normal to be a virgin at these ages right?

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-12-10T15:34:10+00:00

It would be my karma.

I’ve shitted on so many men.

This WOULD be my karma

not0my0real0account7 · 2021-12-10T13:05:26+00:00

I don't have children but in order to answer, I'll imagine I do. I want to mention that I'd apply the same strategy for both a potential son or daughter in the mentioned situations.

I don't know if I can answer age related, as I consider 14/16 are still children and it seems to me it wouldn't apply. They play with toys and watch cartoons at that age. For 18/25+ I'd do the same things, though.

incel - would try to see what is wrong and try to help him better himself, making a list of all the things that don't work so well, and trying to find ways for him to achieve skills, knowledge and other good qualities. For each challenge that he deals with (I mean small challenges like talking to a new person, going alone to an event, making a new friend, loosing some weight, gaining some muscle, reading a book etc), if he succeeds we'd have a little celebration, and if not, we would discuss what went wrong and what can we do to continue succeeding

If it's health, we'd go see doctors that might even solve part of the looks problem (for example acne) .
Looks (not health related). We'd take a look at his wardrobe and decide on new clothes that would make him look better but also suit his style. Get him to exercise, to motivate him, I'd even go with him to the gym avoiding to mention to anyone that I'm his mother and I'd try to make the training fun, we'd have contests (which one does the most of a certain exercise; the loser must wash dishes for 3 days - yeah, that's a good motivation :D ). If it's something that can be solved only with plastic surgery we'd discuss the options together and I'd support whatever decision he makes
wrong environment (people that are not compatible with him, don't share his hobbies or passions) - we'd try to find new places for him to socialize. Find a place where there are people like him. And then make the required changes: from changing a job, to moving into a new city if that's the only way.
Social anxiety - I'd try to find hobby clubs for him where he could socialize. I'd take him to a therapist. I'd involve him in activities with multiple people. I'd help him learn new things (find classes for him, outside high school/college where he could meet new people). I'd involve him in volunteers programs (this might also develop his empathy and altruism). I'd encourage him to write a blog or make a youtube channel or something like that that would help him socialize online too and create as many connections as possible.
mental problems (like depression). Therapist, encouragement, I'd read about his illness and try to make appropriate decisions
not having subjects to talk about with people. I'd get him a lot of books from a lot of domains. We'd go (or encourage him to go alone) to cultural events, expositions, theater, cinema, marathons, meetups. We'd go traveling to new places for him to learn about new cultures, visit museums, see new architecture, learn about the history of that place. We'd also do nature trips: climbing a mountain, exploring a cave etc. And then he'd have stories to tell to his peers.
I also must mention that in the beginning I'd accompany him in the new activities if he has trouble going by himself, but I'd try to slowly distance so that he'd soon enough be able to go alone and make decisions alone and try to better himself alone

mgtow- as far as I know they are like non-religious monks. Nothing wrong with that. As long as it is his wish to never have a relationship and be chaste, I'd respect his dedication just like I respect religious monks and nuns (although I'm not religious myself).

red pill - I don't know... it would be really against my principles (which are respecting people, being altruistic, only having serious relationship that leads to marriage, treating everyone equally, showing empathy etc) and he would have an opposite view on the world... I hope I'm not in that situation. I'd prefer to stay far away from him, yet caring for him because it is my duty as a mother. So I'd help him when he asks, but I would keep a safe distance and even avoid talking to him more than it's necessary.

vanillapopsicle · 2021-12-10T22:50:26+00:00

The same way people should have compassion for women who “hit the wall”, they should have compassion for men who get bitter with this process. Knowing that they are reacting badly, but still treating them with empathy is the correct move. Anything else will only further polarize them. Personally, I think it’s much healthier for men to simply accept that life is unfair. Life goes on and it can still be enjoyable.

2021-12-10T20:10:07+00:00

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signpostcandy · 2021-12-10T12:40:43+00:00

I think upbringing has a lot of influence in whether a guy becomes a mysoginist or not, in fact i would say they all have some sort of trauma in their upbringing which made them adopt borderline psychopathic beliefs, as some sort of maladaptive coping mechanism. If i wanted biological children and had a son i'd try to raise him as well as i could to make him into a good, kind, empathetic person and teach him morals. This would automatically make him view women as equal human beings, rather than objects he feels entilted to or as "lesser" beings. It's also extremely important to instill confidence in him, because men who don't like themselves generally turn their hatred outwards and blame others. I think mysoginists just didn't receive enough love/affection from their mom therefore never developed a healthy confidence and self-esteem as a man or it made them hate all women, like reverse daddy issues. Some men turn their hatred inwards but that would be equally damaging for him. I would teach him confidence to express his emotions and make him feel confident in himself as a person, which would allow him to not suppress his natural masculinity, while respecting women as people at the same time. Those are men who are successful with women thus are happy and confident, as well as being a good person.

2021-12-10T13:19:49+00:00

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vladvash · 2021-12-10T19:02:38+00:00

Those are 3 different things.

True Redhill is a real choice. Incel is not (its in the definition) Mgtow is somewhere in between.

The question is either ill informed or disingenuous.

AnnoKano · 2021-12-10T15:56:37+00:00

Red pill:

14: “There is no shame in being a late bloomer and your balls will drop soon.”

16: “If testosterone cream shows up in any of my bank statements, you’re grounded.”

18: I would start referring to him by his PUA nickname at family gatherings.

25+: I would tell her that of course I still love her, that I’m very proud of her and yes, I’ve always known.

Incel:

14: “I’m making an appointment with the psychiatrist.”

16: “I’m making an appointment with the psychiatrist.”

18: “I’m making an appointment with the psychiatrist.”

25+: “Go with the doctors, it’s for your own good.”

MGTOW:

14 : “Why are you talking to these divorced dads online? I’m taking away your internet connection.”

16 : “Why are you talking to these divorced dads online? I’m taking away your internet connection.”

18: “So you’re going to be paying me rent now?”

25+: “I told you that 20 was too young to get married!”

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-12-10T13:12:04+00:00

Like any one with lunatic beliefs, you don’t attack them directly, you subtly challenge their thinking by asking questions.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-12-10T12:52:58+00:00

I'd consider myself a complete and total failure of a mother if I brought up a boy who turned RP/incel/MGTOW.

chilumibrainrot · 2021-12-10T15:27:43+00:00

i would talk to him, one on one. i wouldn't be aggressive with him or scream at him, i would try and explain to him that he doesn't have to go down that road and that there are plenty of amazing girls out there. ask him how he got this way, who taught him this? tell him that his struggles dont mean he needs to jump into the deep end, he can rough it out. if it doesn't work, if he's persistent, maybe i'd get more aggressive, or bring his dad in to try and talk some sense into him.

Artsyhipster · 2021-12-10T16:22:37+00:00

I would have talks with my son and try to help him from a place of understanding. Also plan followups and guidance from healthy male rolemodels.

2021-12-10T20:52:38+00:00

offer to pay for therapy and understand that i failed as a parent

CFinCanada · 2021-12-11T01:56:11+00:00

Wouldn't surprise me at all. Aren't most men?

Educational-Ad6210 · 2021-12-10T15:16:04+00:00

Would make him go do sport as a kid, like MMA or judo. He will be calm and confident.

mandoa_sky · 2021-12-10T15:14:45+00:00

therapy and sign them up to social clubs - they need to learn that people are people.

wtknight · 2021-12-10T12:37:40+00:00

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Garth1234567890 · 2021-12-10T15:13:40+00:00

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ruboyuri · 2021-12-10T17:01:40+00:00

I would be disappointed that he couldn’t get anyone to like him. But that’s about it. No one listens to their parent

2021-12-10T14:51:23+00:00

14-18, I’d try to get him help. If he has acne for example, there are dermatologists. If he has mental health issues, there are options there. 25+ I would encourage he get help but at that point it’s up to him.

anon_enuf · 2021-12-10T20:10:42+00:00

Congratulate & hug him

pubgmisc · 2021-12-10T15:42:43+00:00

There is a very, very big difference between all those 3 😂.

Red pill is just uncomfortable truths about nature MGTOWs are extremists

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-10T15:20:22+00:00

Therapy. Lots of therapy. Unless he's a legal adult, in which case I'd probably want little to do with him. Being related to me doesn't absolve you of anything.

MelisandreStokes · 2021-12-10T16:42:25+00:00

I’d ban him from the internet and enroll him in various grass-touching activities if he’s underage.

If he was an adult id try to talk to him about it, but when that goes nowhere because I’m just a dumb woman I’d just mock his many inevitable failures while pointing out they were his fault entirely and he’s a pussy for giving up on life like that

stormcloakporn · 2021-12-10T17:55:49+00:00

I would abort him.

CFinCanada · 2021-12-10T16:54:47+00:00

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UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-12-10T12:33:54+00:00

(14-18 ) Pray it’s just a phase and it will naturally resolve itself
(18+) depends how he’s acting- if unacceptably, will probably go no contact.

2021-12-10T13:27:24+00:00

I'd sign him up in dancing classes so he can meet girlz and stop being a moron.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-12-10T16:03:15+00:00

Love them , and go on with life . Now if they are going crazy, and being a threat to society , contact authorities and report my concerns. I'd never want to be a parent that seen red flags of pure hate , and ignored them .

My sons are 23 , 22, and 14 .....

Realistically I think my two oldest are probably more purple pill in a way, they are very aware about female nature , but date alot or have relationships. My oldest had a long term relationship from the age of 15 - 22, he's now dating alot ... Wow like a castanova , hahaha . My middle son is living the bachelor life enjoying Tinder alot. We talk about his dating life often , hahaha My youngest isn't dating yet.

2021-12-10T17:56:34+00:00

If a minor: My husband and I would likely limit, or maybe even eliminate (except for supervised educational purposes) his Internet access for a time depending how deep into the ideology he is, and get him out more. We'd also thoroughly counsel him, get other counseling if needed, and administer tough love if needed.

If not a minor: My husband and I would likely reason with and advise him in an attempt to get him to see the error of his ways. If he's so extreme into the movement that he becomes one of the types who end up on the news for being psychopathic rapists/murderers, we would fully denounce his actions and disowning him wouldn't be out of the question (we definitely aren't like JB and Michelle Duggar and Brock Turner's father; if our kid were to do something that evil we certainly wouldn't make any excuses for him and we wouldn't trust him to not turn on us as well.) In the event of a not-so-extreme example; say he simply takes some benign RP suggestions but doesn't get too deep into the ideology, we'd remind him that he doesn't actually need that ideology to value working out for self-improvement or whatever (we would've been teaching him about self-improvement as he was growing up anyway, not only in physical terms but more importantly in ethical terms.)

2021-12-10T22:50:50+00:00

I would expect them to be red pilled. If my kid can’t get laid, it would be a personality issue. My genes plus my future spouses genes are pretty solid.

Mgtow seems like too much work for “prioritize your goals, women are a beneficial addition to your life, not the focus.” Idk.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-12-10T12:16:10+00:00

That would depend on his beliefs and reasoning behind it. All in all, I think it's his father that should talk to him about it.

I'd help him to find a good therapist to deal with his issues while he was a teen and be there to comfort him if he needed it later on when he was an adult. But extreme hatred towards women most likely would mean low or no contact, as I really doubt that it can be undone or helped.

Anyway I'd feel that I failed as a mother and it would be really hard to deal with.

I'd just go low/no contact with other male relatives who caught this stuff in the extreme variant of it.

wtknight · 2021-12-10T12:13:46+00:00

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DiamondLilyD · 2021-12-10T15:10:19+00:00

I'd disown them and refuse to help or speak to them again.

kai_wulf · 2021-12-10T14:09:42+00:00

I'd be concerned if he was an incel. That's toxic. MGTOW literally means "going your own way". That can be good depending upon the stage of life he's in. But he needs to understand love is real. It's just a matter of finding a girl who feels the same way.

Beginning_Proof_2160 · 2021-12-10T18:00:34+00:00

would be ok with redpill, but not with incels and mgtow

2021-12-11T23:55:18+00:00

If he’s otherwise normal yes. If he sounds like he’s gonna shoot up a school or become a serial rapist that would be a massive issue.

poppy03 · 2021-12-10T15:53:05+00:00

Idk, I’m calling my brother to take care of this so he can knock some sense into him. Since he’s like this - he prob won’t take my advice srsly m since I’m a woman. So need to have my brothers talk to him.

Snacksbreak · 2021-12-11T01:08:42+00:00

Shit tons of intervention and therapy. If a sociopath idk what they do with sociopaths.

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ForgedYetBroken · 2021-12-10T16:01:13+00:00

I'd change nothing in all honesty. As long as he's not doing anything illegal I can't really justify overruling his beliefs with mine. He's the one that's going to suffer for it, and I'd always be there if he wanted to change or consult me. I never want to make any of my children feel like I'm not someone they can trust to give them the benefit of the doubt. The most I'll tolerate is violence, otherwise you do you.

IcarusKiki · 2021-12-10T22:43:07+00:00

I would be fine with red pill since they advocate for owning your shit and not wallowing in despair or being bitter towards the opposite sex. But if he was on MGTOW or worse incels I would get him involved with sports or some other interest away from the internet that would give him socialization and confidence

vanillapopsicle · 2021-12-10T22:45:56+00:00

Those are all very different. I would tell him that yes, the world is unfair, but giving in to bitterness is the worst response. You just have to accept it and try to live your best life.

shygirl449 · 2021-12-11T05:18:32+00:00

I would accept him but advise him not to box himself into ideologies, and suggest that he keep an open mind. And I hope by my example he will have some faith in humanity.

ChelseaDagger14 · 2021-12-12T09:45:43+00:00

This is purely in terms of 14/16/18 as I think I’d do the same thing. 25+, their brain is fully formed so I couldn’t tell them what to do, just advise them with specifics.

In terms of incel and hating women, I’d try and help him be more attractive i.e. skin care, losing fat, getting a proper stylist and gym. Plus giving him some tips on how to talk to women, cash incentives if he asks girls out etc.

Red pill, I’m iffy on. It has some good ideas but also it’s very negative and kicks the fun out of a lot of things. Probably just get him to activities where he’s around women (ideally my wife/his mum or stepmom would help), so he could see some women can be layered and even role models.

MGTOW at that ages would probably be just a few negative experiences with women, so I’d leave them to vent online and hope they’d grow out of it - otherwise I wouldn’t have a Scooby Doo, maybe more of what I’d do with TRP and more time around interesting and high-achieving women.

justmeJ4 · 2022-03-23T16:29:19+00:00

I would tell him that the best way to find a partner is to first focus on being a good person.

Treat others how you want to be treated.

Title	If you discovered your son was redpill/incell/mgtow how would you handle that.
Author	Khanluka
Upvotes	53
Comments	309
Date	December 10, 2021 11:31 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rd6p2p/if_you_discovered_your_son_was_redpillincellmgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-discovered-your-son-was-redpillincellmgtow.1087637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087637

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