Do women consider how good a father a man will be?

cruciod · 2021-12-26T02:37:22+00:00

Yes. I'm pretty young and don't even plan on having kids for maybe another decade but it's definitely something I'm attracted to. Seeing how he treats little kids or animals can make me melt

UnfurtletDawn · 2021-12-26T03:07:46+00:00

Well my older brother often took me in front of his school just to show girls how good of an older brother he is.

CFinCanada · 2021-12-26T06:50:43+00:00

No, that was never something that interested me when dating, because I never wanted kids.

botfiddler · 2021-12-26T02:10:00+00:00

Some here might exaggerate things, but the idea is that women are attracted to different men dependent on where they are in life. Bad boys when they're young and want to have fun, good fathers and providers later in life. It's not some hidden insult, but you're just interesting out of secondary attraction (money, reliability, good manners, ...) not because she thinks you're just hot and have high masculine energy.

Maybe you don't care, but it means women can enjoy the first group and then switch later, and these beta men might not have had much fun while young but put work into getting somewhere. The women they choose can profit from it, after having had fun without consequences. Also, these women might despise their husbands and all of a sudden are less sexual. Chance of divorce is also high.

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-12-26T02:07:14+00:00

Women absolutely do get attracted to a guy if she thinks he's good with kids. I've seen this first hand. However, this is assuming the guy doesn't come across as a child himself; so long as he still falls someplace good on the masculinity spectrum, being good with kids is a positive.

Altruistic_Wafer4398 · 2021-12-26T03:23:39+00:00

Yes! With all my past boyfriends I wondered if they’d make good fathers and seeing them engage well with kids makes me really attracted to them. Even though I don’t want kids for at least another 6 years or so, I still get excited when my current bf talks about what he wants in a family some day or he is sweet to a child when we’re in public.

fosho_away · 2021-12-26T23:57:58+00:00

Of course we consider it

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2021-12-26T04:19:43+00:00

Remember, don’t listen to what they say, watch what they do. Tons of PPD women lying through their teeth rn. Why do you think so many marriages end up in divorce and there are so many single mother households out there??? Women choose for attractiveness first and foremost, and then hope their Chad husband is also a good father.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-26T02:56:24+00:00

Yes and no. They consider if the guys that they're already interested in will be good fathers, but not random dudes that they're not interested in. An ugly guy who likes kids is perceived as even more creepy than if he were ugly and didn't like kids.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-12-26T03:31:27+00:00

Yes, once the basic hurdles of me liking him/being attracted to him were cleared, whether I'd want to raise kids with him was always at the forefront of my mind with every guy I dated.

pearllovespink · 2021-12-26T03:55:41+00:00

One more clarification. Most women on here do not discuss hookups and casual sex. A lot of the post from women are about dating and relationships. The men on this forum bring up casual sex a lot.

armance83 · 2021-12-26T07:53:47+00:00

I don't want children, if he's too good with babies he might actually want his own and we wouldn't be a good match. I don't filter by that though, I'm just crystal clear about not wanting children, so he can decide for himself.

oldcamembert · 2021-12-26T09:27:28+00:00

To be 100% honest, it is certainly not a bad quality as such, but not in the top 10 for me, and has never been (neither when I was young and children weren't on the radar, not later when I wanted children, not now when I have them).

Kizka · 2021-12-26T13:30:51+00:00

Not really. I don't think that the combination of myself and my SO would make for good parents. But I love him and want to be with him more than I would have wanted kids so I choose my SO and forgo parenthood.

Atlas-B-Shruggin · 2021-12-26T15:26:18+00:00

consider it when choosing what? a husband? obviously yes. a sex partner? no

nemporisso · 2021-12-27T23:50:11+00:00

Every attractive quality ties into this, so yes

John_Oakman · 2021-12-26T02:51:16+00:00

Manosphere men do not value women for their emotional intelligence, maturity, or personality (or believe those exist in women in significant quantitates). Males who do value women for those traits are irrelevant in the context of this subreddit for the most part.

MarBitt · 2021-12-26T02:04:03+00:00

A man playing with animals or children probably looks sexy, according to the reactions.

It is difficult to say whether they are consciously considering it or whether a man who loves animals and children and handles them well is naturally more attractive to some women.

Hello891011 · 2021-12-26T02:47:26+00:00

If I’m looking for a hookup I don’t particularly care.

If I’m looking for a long term partner it is something to keep in mind. Trying to picture what they would do to help me and the kids, what their evenings would look like if they have kids. Would he get off his ass and stop playing 6hrs of games a night to help me raise them? If not, we aren’t having kids.

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2021-12-26T02:31:47+00:00

Yes, definitely. A masculine guy being adorably sweet to a puppy or baby is hot

NarniaFox · 2021-12-26T05:27:02+00:00

The ones who do want to have kids and who think that they might have some in the future usually do consider how good of a father a man could be, when they are seeking for an LTR. I doubt that a lot of people, both men and women, think about kids and parenting when they have casual relationships.

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2021-12-26T02:28:24+00:00

Yes, most definitely. I’m really family oriented and want lots of kids so when I’m interested in a guy I ask about if he wants kids, what style of parenting he thinks is best, and why he wants to be a father. Being a potential bad father or not wanting kids is a huge deal breaker for me.

captainquestionasker · 2021-12-26T01:56:57+00:00

Calling you a good father is just a nice way of saying you’re unattractive. No woman looks at a hot guy and thinks father of the year candidate.

jayda92 · 2021-12-26T03:29:25+00:00

I'm an elementary school teacher. To me, it's extremely important. If not, the most important thing I consider before getting into a relationship with someone. If I would get pregnant; what kind of man will he be to me and our family? How is he with his family? Can he support a family?

Even when I was not at this point (i recently found out I'm pregnant with my first child), this was always in the back of my mind. All the relationships I ended, I ended them because of exactly this reason; they are not dad material either because of how they treated me (over some time), or how they changed (also over time)... I never had casual sex, because I was always too afraid to get pregnant. All the man I was with, had an active desire to get kids, and not 'somewhere in the future'.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-26T04:04:22+00:00

I've never wanted kids, so that's never been on my radar. I do think my husband would be a great father, though.

beeguy727 · 2021-12-26T02:56:22+00:00

Not if they’re attracted to him. AF/BB dictates that the man who impregnates the woman will not have the provider qualities that the man who raises the kid will have.

Women consider the qualities of a good father to be “beta” hence unattractive. That’s why there’s so many single mothers and betas stepping into the step father role.

zyramain69 · 2021-12-26T02:39:02+00:00

They do, past 30 or with kids of course

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Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-12-26T03:38:46+00:00

It depends on her age and what stage of life she is in .I think if she is under 30 and not looking to settle down, then no. If she is over 30 and looking to settle down, yes.

clitorophagy · 2021-12-26T03:52:20+00:00

This is a huge reason why looks are not so important. When we are talking about hooking up for a one night stand with randos maybe looks are the main thing that’s important. When we are looking for someone to be with, an attractive personality is so much more relevant. Is he kind/fun/smart/honest/ good with kids?

Zcuzz · 2021-12-26T04:00:38+00:00

Lol, no

S0mnariumx · 2021-12-26T04:28:31+00:00

I can't help but question whether or not they do because of the number of single mothers. Sometimes the guy is still a good dad but the relationship didn't work out but fairly often the dude is a deadbeat.

Superfluous_Toast · 2021-12-26T07:21:05+00:00

Only the ones who have any interest in being mothers. For childfree women, the men who get all soft-eyed thinking about Kodak moments are walking red flags.

Beginning_Proof_2160 · 2021-12-26T09:00:01+00:00

One time a woman who I think is super hot, herself a mom, with 4 kids. She told me "ughh you'd be such a good dad." and I really liked that.

this and You are a husband material - translation -> I'm not sexually aroused by you, but in the future when my options are low and i don't find a chad I might settle for you

Specialist-Action-33 · 2021-12-26T09:09:28+00:00

They dont consider until they get knocked up and have a kid (out of wedlock). Then they will consider that once the new man comes along. Happens all the time.

lissssa-13 · 2021-12-26T13:58:13+00:00

Yes. I wanted kids and a man being an engaged, equal parent was as important to me as how he was as a partner to me.

Rough_Collections · 2021-12-26T14:07:55+00:00

Women have always loved men for how they make them feel or what they bring to the table. The "Good Father" attraction is combination of what he brings to the table and makes her feel safe in her most vulnerable state being a new mother. The problem is this state is temporary and eventually you are solely judged on how you make her feel because Western society has pretty much stated she can poach what you bring to table taking away half your leverage.

(Yes there is leverage in relationships whether conscious or unconsciously leverage. " What will I do if I leave him?" wasn't about women not having the option to leave it was about not wanting to reduce their quality of life. Now many can leave while maintaining their quality of life at no cost to them. )

This has poisoned the "Good Father" attraction for men because many think it's a trap and an indication that she sees you as a guardian/provider(what you bring) not a true lover (how you make her feel)

MuertaDeLS · 2021-12-26T14:23:46+00:00

Lol there's definitely a difference between women online and women outside.

Cultural-Wafer-378 · 2021-12-26T15:01:55+00:00

Yes I categorize men into really 2 categories: theirs those who are true men in the sense that they’d make great providers for a family (meaning pull their weight, not be a slave or simp or anything crazy) & I know that I could safely trust that I’m entering that responsibility with an equally responsible person.

Some men, I can tell readily away do not fall into that category & I see them as “men who will never really grow up to a certain level” where having a child with them presents more of a risk of fucking up the kid.

JameisBong · 2021-12-26T16:34:47+00:00

Yes, but a good dad means you are the patient provider type women love AFTER getting pregnant by the guy with better genes than you.

errrright · 2021-12-26T17:03:29+00:00

Yes definitely. It‘s consistently been my favorite thing about my boyfriend. Something about a man with a paternal nature seems to unlock a new level of attraction within me - like, the type that makes me say “my ovaries are screaming”. It’s this visceral feeling of both being turned on and feeling very safe. I know I’m not the only woman who feels this way either.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2021-12-26T17:25:34+00:00

Careful, having a woman tell you “you’d make a good dad” isn’t necessarily the compliment you might think it is.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-12-26T18:30:32+00:00

Of course. And, a huge part of that is how successful he is or they think he'll be.

social_mule · 2021-12-26T18:38:40+00:00

I believe women procreate with men they're attracted to for reasons that have nothing to do with the man's fitness or potential fitness as a parent then convince themselves that over time they can mold him into Ward Cleaver or Heathcliff Huxtable.

I guess I should add the obligatory not all women for the slow kids.

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2021-12-26T20:57:06+00:00

Only if he isn't sexy.

If he isn't sexy she will consider all sorts of things about him, from his job to his fathering skills to his emotional availability.

If he's sexy she won't care about any of that.

Alternative-Respond8 · 2021-12-27T02:09:17+00:00

Seeing as they fuck a ton of men who abandon them and their kids, I’m gonna say no.

BlankVoid2979 · 2021-12-27T11:04:14+00:00

lmao

lynn2022account · 2021-12-27T15:58:45+00:00

I starts with how he treats people in general. There is some famous sentences about how a man will treat a restaurant wait staff. If he is rude or an asshole, that is automatic turn off. This goes for women too, guys. A guy who is nice to others, polite, has a better chance of being a good father.

StacksFifthAve · 2021-12-29T02:09:11+00:00

Nope.

I’d wager that the percentages of male sexlessness going up by the year as well as the annual single motherhood rate does a good enough job of arguing on their own.

Zerofication · 2021-12-26T02:43:25+00:00

A minority does, but it's much less important than say money, looks or masculinity, although women will try to convince you that it's not.

pearllovespink · 2021-12-26T03:31:33+00:00

In a serious relationship I 100% think about this. If an “accident” were to happen would I want him raising my child? Can he afford a child? There’s a million other questions that go through my head but you get the gist. Men with good character usually make good fathers.

pubgmisc · 2021-12-26T03:50:01+00:00

I think women should get their brother and dad involved in mate selection because the only guys that will tell them the truth is the ones that don't want to sleep with them obviously.

evanstown21 · 2021-12-26T05:20:15+00:00

No. At least, not for this particular woman. I have no desire to have kids. Therefore, I’m not looking for a good dad. In fact, I make sure every guy I date is very much okay with the decision to not have kids. I’m looking for a good life partner, not a dad. That being said, being a good dad and being a good human has many similar qualities so having good dad-like qualities often helps.

Title	Do women consider how good a father a man will be?
Author	DeformedCreature117
Upvotes	22
Comments	194
Date	December 26, 2021 1:54 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/roml3x/do_women_consider_how_good_a_father_a_man_will_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-consider-how-good-a-father-a-man-will-be.1090640 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090640

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