The line between being taken advantage of and taking responsibility is really blurry with women.

SteveSan82 · 2022-03-09T03:59:40+00:00

It’s just female nature. You won’t believe how many married mothers I’ve slept with or women older than me say “ so what are we?” After we fucked. Obviously nothing more than fuck buddies

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-03-08T21:49:02+00:00

It’s really not that blurry. Taking advantage is taking advantage. Sometimes the person really should’ve seen it coming, sometimes it’s not so obvious. But it doesn’t really justify anything. And it doesn’t seem like women can do anything right according to men here. You get pumped and dumped, you should’ve seen it coming. You decide to make the next guy wait for sex because you don’t want it to happen again, and it’s not fairrrr, you’re being a big meanie and must not really be attracted to him.

JohnDoe_Rip · 2022-03-08T16:44:19+00:00

This is not just with women bro. Sounds like you're talking about Codependent people. If you're very needy and dependent in a relationship you're gonna get manipulated.

baresquad · 2022-03-08T16:57:15+00:00

I think where we go wrong is assuming that the dudes who treat women like shit are men who have a social status, wealthy, really good looking, and charming

It kinda insinuates that being attractive and charming are always the signs that a man is gonna treat you like shit. How does that make sense? A broke ugly man can very well much be on the same devious shit

Y’all are obsessed with women taking imaginary accountability which assumes better options exist yet the men y’all think women should actually go for could very well treat them the same way as the attractive man did.

Common denominator here is shitty dudes. Whether their rich and attractive or poor and unattractive

Edit: guys I just don’t have the energy to engage in paragraph responses that all say the same right now so this is my broad response:

I don’t care to victim blame nor go back and forth on what people should and should not do in situations none of us are specifically in.

An ugly dude can treat a woman like shit just like an attractive dude can. That’s the brunt of my original comment. You can agree or not, idc, but I’m not going back and forth with y’all white knighting other dudes or being offended because I said the common denominator is shitty dudes

cowfishAreReal · 2022-03-08T16:46:00+00:00

You're basing your post on better looking men or richer men being more likely to be assholes but that's just a stereotype. People having more options doesn't necessarily make them more likely to be an asshole. A lot of rich or good looking men have wives, are you saying their wives shouldn't have dated them because that would have been naive?

caption291 · 2022-03-08T16:41:56+00:00

it’s womens fault they’re being treated badly not the man’s fault for treating her badly? i genuinely don’t know what you’re trying to say

2022-03-08T17:18:07+00:00

Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.

Most people are not that self aware, and impose their reality on others through their perspective. Women like what they like. The only time when they fail to acknowledge this is when it's expressed with a negative connotation to make them appear less moral or shallow. Especially when it's in comparison to men, which from their perspective is just as if not more shallow.

A big aspect of the feminine is keeping up appearances, so they don't have as much as a "fuck it" unapologetic attitude as Men can have. You can call it pretending if you want but it is what it is. It's simply one of the tradeoffs of differences between men and women.

Sewud · 2022-03-08T18:37:49+00:00

You're really obsessed with this one scenario of the girl who dates a dashing high status man and gets her heart broken when he dumps her. You think that's the only scenario that makes women pissed off from dating?

What about all the women with 5'6 tall boyfriends with non-existent careers who are a pack of problems due to their addictions to alcohol, drugs, gambling and sending money to girls on the internet? Yes, that's absolutely a thing, you don't even see the tip of the iceberg of this. Why don't you talk about that?

Or what about women with loser husbands who kill their children when she leaves? If you look at these cases you can see none of these men were dashing high status guys, they were all measly unremarkable quiet betas that neighbors described as docile and ordinary.

The myth that women get burned by trying to date a man who's too desirable needs to stop. You guys spread this conspiracy, spreading "horror stories" of women who tried dating out of their league and got humbled. You NEVER talk about the vast majority of women who date down and end up wrapped up in a ton of problems.

Just the fact that you are spreading this narrative of "women fail in dating because they try to date more highly desirable men" is so bad. Women will hear this advise and do date down and that can literally kill them.

The truth is a dashing high status guy dumping you because he doesn't want to be with you is just about the best possible ending to a relationship for a woman. It beats violence, stalking, abuse, threats.

It really makes me angry that you guys always present this narrative like women's grievances is a handsome attractive man "taking advantage" of her. What does that even mean, sex? You're really making a mockery of sexual violence. Having sex with a hot guy who dumps you is NOT the worst fate for a woman.

In fact many women would consider that a win. You had some dates with an attractive guy whose company you enjoyed and you had sex and then he dumped you? Only insane women would regret that.

The idea that women's grievances is essentially just regretting a good time is just so oblivious. You're really just skipping over what actual horror stories women get from dating, because it's not "I had a great time with a guy I really liked and then he didn't want to date me".

GGMcThroway · 2022-03-08T17:07:39+00:00

But women seem to constantly date men who are of higher social status

You think that because that's what's most visible to you. You're not noticing average joes and janes getting together because there's nothing about that that would stick out to you.

Pretending to be naiive while dating these types is ridiculous.

Expecting everyone to want to take advantage of you is not a healthy mindset. It's one thing if a person makes their intentions clear up front (so it's your own fault if you expect otherwise), but there's nothing wrong with wanting to take people at their word if they seem mentally healthy and well-adjusted.

andtheywontstopcomin · 2022-03-08T19:13:14+00:00

Wow it's almost as if women have awful taste in men and rarely learn from mistakes

It's almost as if women go for looks far more than personality and then act surprised when the guy turns out shitty

Men also overlook personality for looks but at the end of the day men have a very low bar for both looks and personality

MyrganGyrgan · 2022-03-08T16:40:41+00:00

What are you saying? That they were asking to be sexually abused?

cloudnymphe · 2022-03-08T17:25:20+00:00

Men definitely take advantage of women in a lot of different ways, just like women take advantage of men.

That first part isn't true. Men really don't take advantage of women. Most ways in which men used to take advantage of women have been criminalized.

I don't get the rest of your post. Are you saying women are taken advantage of but don't take responsibility for their part in being taken advantage of after it happens and they realize it? Or are you saying women are dating these "higher status" men but acting like they don't know what they're doing? What are you faulting women for here?

DonQOnIce · 2022-03-08T16:49:13+00:00

It seems like women can’t win here.

gets cheated on

“You should have known”

Or

puts up barriers and blocks at the first red flag

“Your standards are too high, give guys a chance!”

decoy88 · 2022-03-09T08:10:47+00:00

The line between being taken advantage of and taking responsibility is really blurry with women.

The line between being taken advantage of and taking responsibility is really blurry with ~~women~~ people.

Men and women typically prefer to follow the path of least resistance and like to have something for nothing. Humans are selfish Luckily enough of us work towards changing that instinctive selfishness voluntarily or out of necessity.

I am not on the side of men here. Men definitely take advantage of women in a lot of different ways, just like women take advantage of men.

Now they’re gonna call you “white knight”

But the accountability part is really blurry with women especially. Yes, there are men who take a really beautiful woman out on a date, pay for all of it and then get left on read. Could have seen the signs there budd.

I don’t know what this means? Was it a good date? There’s more to a good date than the minimum you described. In fact that bare minimum would be a “bad date”

But women seem to constantly date men who are of higher social status (be it actually famous or just popular amongs peers), wealthy, really good looking and charming.

Citation needed. I think you’re falling victim to Apex Fallacy a little bit on this one. Most women don’t even have access to these types of men outside Upper Class and Upper Middle Class types.

And these are the guys who will most often give into their urges, based on probability, because they have a lot of options, in addition to them being men (men usually are hornier and have less options, so in this scenario...)

Ehhh, there’s a trend sure.

Pretending to be naiive while dating these types is ridiculous.

Assuming the worst just because a man is in a good place in life reeks of insecurity. I’ve met these types of women and they’re a headache.

I am not justifying the actions of these men, but it's fairly obvious what they're really up to.

Yes and no.

To the experienced women? Often yes (which it’s why it’s sus when an older man particularly wants to LTR a much younger inexperienced woman).

To men who don’t have their judgment clouded by emotions and attraction to the swindler men? Often yes.

To the younger inexperienced women who are newer to dating, sexual and romantic relationships? Often no. Which is where the majority of these mistakes tend to happen. They also tend to be more clueless about what they want.

It's just that the ladies seem either to not care at the time, or are wilfully ignorant of their blatant flaws.

Women are often stupid and walking contradictions sure. It gets better as they get older.

I think this is an age/wisdom thing.

Valzemodeus · 2022-03-09T09:17:42+00:00

Plausible deniability is a weapon.

I sometimes refer to it as schroedinger's sexuality.

"I'm a sexual creature, rawr"

"He took advantage of me"

Own your sexuality or shut up. Chugging margaritas and waking up in a coyote ugly scenario does not make you the victim of something nefarious. You chose to chug them maggies.

Men don't get to play the sacred card in regards to their bodies. They can't say "I was drunk and taken advantage of", even when it results in child support (which is why rich men have started getting their sperm frozen and having vasectomies).

One of the biggest hurdles facing women in regards to actual social equality is leaving behind the sacred card. They will not be taken "seriously" the way the claim to want until society is no longer responsible for the safety of their vaginas anymore than it is the safety of a guys penis.

That can go either way.

Either men get more protections, women less or both meet in the middle.

Until then, I am going to view the person forced to deal with the consequences of their choices as the better candidate due to the bias that they will be held to the higher standard.

That's just cause and effect.

Special-Armadillo-99 · 2022-03-08T17:10:12+00:00

As per usual: I can show you the guys who did crappy ass fucking shit to me, so that you can see who y'all are calling "men of higher status".

It's not a complete list, because I only started keeping logs after you people kept going "ohhh, you probably underestimate their value" in response to me going "I'm not dating Chads".

So do you want the pics? Do you want to see who you are calling:

men who are of higher social status (be it actually famous or just popular amongs peers), wealthy, really good looking and charming. And these are the guys who will most often give into their urges, based on probability, because they have a lot of options

?

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-03-08T17:20:12+00:00

If you’re saying women mostly date up while ignoring red flags then I disagree

It’s about attraction. Women who are attracted to a man will tolerate a lot more. A LOT more. And they’ll justify it. That’s the cold hard truth.

But no they won’t even tolerate the average man walking too closely behind her for too long.

But she’ll tolerate that guys she’ll get down on her knees for shoving her into the wall for saying that she’s making tuna casserole for dinner.

Special-Armadillo-99 · 2022-03-08T17:20:34+00:00

Lulz "women don't take responsibility" from the side that wants to knock up women without paying for child support or abortions.

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-03-08T17:12:10+00:00

Women know that these men have many options just as men know that the most attractive woman in the room has many options.

The difference is that men approach and women choose.

If I have to choose between so many horny men, because as you have said, men are usually hornier than us, why not choose the most handsome and popular man then?

The quality of the experience is what matters.

"He won't be around for long, but I've slept with the most attractive man in the room."

If a man has the opportunity to date an attractive woman, will he date a less attractive woman?

The point that I think you're missing too is that these bad men are not 24/7 bad men.

As you have said, these men have the charm that not all men have and women, especially young women, seek that delight.

It's addictive.

Among many you will always choose what now seems to be the best in the world.

sarkington · 2022-03-08T18:07:15+00:00

It takes time for the spiders to come out from under the rock. Would you prefer that women not even bother taking the time to find out if they are lurking?

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Electronic-Jump3205 · 2022-03-08T16:59:28+00:00

A lot of relationships are extremely transactional, and not necessarily about money. It’s just often blurred out by baggage and the lies we like to tell ourselves. You gotta keep relationships light and cheerful.

moonsunrisinggg · 2022-03-08T17:01:17+00:00

Women date/hookup (upwards), in many cases have sex very quickly and hope, the guy sticks around.

When things don't work out for her, yup, it's normally the guys fault, right.

Inabind369 · 2022-03-08T20:28:33+00:00

I think your premise is backwards. You’re blaming women for dating guys who cheat on them rather than the men who cheat on them. The expectation is your partner doesn’t cheat. Most don’t get into a relationship expecting to get cheated on. If they really thought that their partner was going to cheat from day one that wouldn’t be a very good foundation for a relationship, would it? To me having the mindset of “my partner is going to cheat on me” means you have attachment issues, trust issues, or are otherwise insecure.

News flash, women are not all knowing. If they knew a guy was gonna cheat they wouldn’t date him, unless she is emotionally masochistic. I think more often than not women get into relationships with or date guys they think are hot (the guys you say tend to be assholes) and hope for the best.

The only time I would say “she should’ve known better” is if the woman knew the guy had a history of infidelity prior to dating him or he had already cheated on her in their relationship and she had forgiven him.

EthicallyIlliterate · 2022-03-08T21:15:31+00:00

Youre saying successful guys cheat?

I treat my girlfriend very well now that I have my fucking life together lol

pearllovespink · 2022-03-08T21:32:26+00:00

The same can be said for men who mess around and date hoes or gold diggers. You have no accountability either. You saw a hot girl and didn't give af about her personality.

JameisBong · 2022-03-08T22:10:45+00:00

The average woman wants to be equal to men and not share the same level of accountability men take on everyday. This isn't just about dating, but if you've worked with women or had a lot of women as platonic friends you would know what I'm talking about.

nemma88 · 2022-03-08T23:18:33+00:00

I have to chime in with studies suggest at best a modest increase in cheating the more masculine features present, at worst there are studies with no correlation on these variables. These were the first two studies I found on the subject.

Nice or ugly men are as likely to cheat as hot men in practicality (or at best they're slightly less likely to) . This may be because hotter men are better versed in rejecting women, or just because guys who have cheated are a quarter of its population. It may be the guy with little experience just can't help himself when the offer presents itself. The furthest guy I dated down cheated on me (literally the dude had two offers in his entire life come at the same time and decided to take both. hmm) - it would be nice if we could just do the math and work out likelihoods and all based on dating up / down alone but people wanting to fuck just doesn't work that way and isn't something we can control.

People who want to cheat are not doing market value calculations in their heads, they're thinking 'Penis goes there' , 'I'll not get caught' and that's it. Its a feature of poor self control present regardless of attractiveness.

2022-03-08T23:37:37+00:00

It’s a primal instinct to breed with those who deliver an endorphin rush and given the inherent competitive nature in most people, it’s not a surprise that attractive women leverage their advantage in relationships. Some women seem engineered to hold contradictory positions of saying they want “good guys” but fucking alpha. That being said I have met enlightened women who understand these dynamics and purely have sex based on mental fit alone. I think (hope) this trend is accelerating.

moresleepy1 · 2022-03-09T02:05:35+00:00

When women say good men they mean attractive and have qualities that would benefit them.

They are not talking about morals or what would be considered good human behavior.

Ugly lame men are automatically shitty men and most ppd women would rather take their

chances with an attractive man that could do any number of unspeakable horrors to her than

an unattractive man.

Title	The line between being taken advantage of and taking responsibility is really blurry with women.
Author	ogsimpology
Upvotes	126
Comments	263
Date	March 8, 2022 4:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t9kvin/the_line_between_being_taken_advantage_of_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-line-between-being-taken-advantage-of-and.1106124 https://theredarchive.com/post/1106124

Comments

The line between being taken advantage of and taking responsibility is really blurry with women.