Most men focus too kuch on looks in dating and that impacts them negatively.

AstuteBlackMan · 2022-12-06T18:10:02+00:00

This is partially true and it’s pathetic and something I don’t adhere to.

Most men will deal with a woman’s nonsense because she’s relatively attractive and will ignore extreme character flaws because of her looks. This usually happens to men because the average man can’t get a lot of women or attract a ton of women. If men had higher standards in terms of dating, marriage and relationships more women would act better and there would be better options overall.

This is why the red pill is so important. It advocates men being alone and being comfortable being without a woman if she’s not acting right.

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2022-12-06T18:23:45+00:00

This is just completely and patently false. Men have low standards today when it comes to not just attractiveness, but really anything to do with women. Why? Because we are simply not the choosers here. Most of us take what we can get and then settle with it. It's become way too competitive. As long as a given woman weighs less than 400 pounds, she will most likely have no trouble finding a partner. The same cannot be said of men.

You should clarify in your post that you are specifically talking about top tier men. Attractive guys, celebrities, athletes, wealthy guys, etc. Those are the guys that have very high standards in terms of attractiveness but couldn't care less about the pedigree or personality of their partner. They essentially want arm candy.

If anything, it's the vast majority of women (both high-status and average women) that care an inordinate amount about appearance. They will straight up write off 95% of men from the get go, based only off of their looks. And women tend to agree on who they find more attractive. On the other hand, men will have a wide variety of taste with regards to ethnicity, height, weights, hair color, eye color, etc. Most men will see multiple women they are attracted to and want to get to know better on any regular day. Most women can count on one hand the number of men that they are attracted to on any given day.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-12-06T18:17:31+00:00

I don’t think men have as low standards as everyone thinks we do. I’ve been going out in the night scene for around 7 years now. And I can count on 1 hand how many times that I’ve seen a man actively approach an unattractive woman at all, yet alone one who isn’t in the same league as her. Men are just more likely to accept what they can get instead of being entirely alone like women will.

Also, Hate to be the one to introduce profiling, but looks definitely tell you a lot more about a person when you are going off of nothing but what you can see.

A woman with short styled hair, long healthy hair= cares about her appearance and has the discipline to maintain healthy hair or routine to maintain a stylized cut.

compared to a woman with fried hair, buzzed , bleached, tangled, always in a bun etc. = someone who either has no idea how to maintain their hair, and never had the care to learn, does not care about their appearance at all.

Fitness= and indication of discipline, lifestyle and long term outlook.

Dress varies by culture/ subgroup/ niche but shows effort into appearance as well.

Most people who are fit, with heathy hair and skin are hot. Especially under 35.

GarPaxarebitches · 2022-12-06T18:25:54+00:00

Yeah no. Only pursue women you find attractive. Then date and breakup until you find a woman who's attractive AND has the rest. It's only a meme that UgLy GiRlS hAvE bEtTeR pErSoNaLiTiEs.

If you're with someone you're unattractive too, you're gonna be miserable, especially men. Middle aged guys leave their wives over attraction and they found her attractive for the 1st 20 years of the relationship.

I haven't seen a single successful relationship where a young guy openly thinks his partner is ugly or mediocre. Most of the guys who think their partner is OK looking and just good looking enough, usually don't get into perfect marriages either.

Pursue only women you're attracted to, then keep going thru relationships till you get Looks + Personality.

Not some dumb shit about prioritizing looks less. Most in shape women are good enough for a 1st date for us. No reason to go lower than that at all.

Sexual history doesn't matter as much, clothes matters 0, education level doesn't matter if they have at least a BS/BA (I couldn't give a fuck if you have a PHD), finance doesn't matter till marriage level. Before then she just needs to pay for her own shit and roughly half the dating shit if she's a non-trad.

Attractiveness matters 10× as much as all those lol.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-12-06T18:20:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Digedag · 2022-12-06T18:07:49+00:00

Do you just like to make shit up or are you willing to share some facts that support your thesis?

DeJuanBallard · 2022-12-06T21:33:29+00:00

Jesus christ the last like 20 post on this sub are so damn dumb., what is wrong with these people.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-12-06T18:44:24+00:00

The only time men should have low standards on all other factors when it comes to women except for physical appearance and sexual attractiveness should be for one night stands and hookups. Basically purely just for only sexual encounters.

Square-Pie9671 · 2022-12-07T23:19:36+00:00

women are more physically picky

Longjumping-Goat-348 · 2022-12-06T18:40:47+00:00

This post is painfully out of touch with mens' dating preferences and desires. You can just all of a sudden expect men to find attractive the traits that we didn't evolve to find attractive. Men are visually-oriented in what we find attractive, that's just the way it is and you shouldn't expect any different.

LoverBaite · 2022-12-06T18:06:27+00:00

why is judging a woman by her looks a bad idea, but judging her by her clothes suddenly clever?

Redditcritic6666 · 2022-12-06T20:35:55+00:00

Most men focus too much on looks in dating and that impacts them negatively.

The first time you see a person, you aren't going to see anything except their looks. First impression is important. Also this problem isn't exclusively male.

If men judged women more by their sexual history, the clothes they wear, their education level and financial life, they would have a better time dating.

1) How does one see the characteristics in other people within the first few dates, or even on their dating profile?

2) A women's sexual history, clothes they wear, education level and financial life isn't a good indicator that they are good people either lol.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2022-12-07T07:35:38+00:00

For any man with options, looks are a non negotiable. Men are biologically wired to prioritize beauty and it won't change anytime soon. Pretty sure(correct me if I'm wrong) studies have already shown that men are most happy when they are married to a woman they consider more attractive than themselves, while women are most happy when they are married to a man who makes more money and is more successful than them. Men strive to acquire money and status so that they can date up when it comes to looks, not to date up when it comes to money and status. Money and status would mean very little to most guys if women and sex didn't exist. And any man, who was given the choice to have a different supermodel for every night of the week without him having to do anything in return, would probably stay home and play video games and/or drink with his buddies for the rest of the day, barely doing anything productive except the bare minimum to survive.

Also, men don't just care about a woman's appearance. Appearance is the thing that gets you through the door and if you don't have it you are screwed, but other things matter after that. Money and success might not matter to most men, but personality, values and morals absolutely matter when it comes to anything longterm.

"If men judged women more by their sexual history, the clothes they wear, their education level and financial life, they would have a better time dating."

You are only half correct here. Men do judge women by their sexual history and the clothes they wear but only when it comes to long term relationships.

empresa_josefina · 2022-12-06T18:50:39+00:00

I absolutely focus on looks (“too much” is debateable), but I also don’t compromise on her ethics, values, or just sense of decency. I have ended it with attractive women who were selfish, did drugs, treated relationships as a transaction, or just weren’t that nice.

I have paid the price for this in the form of long periods outside a relationship. It’s hard enough to date a hot girl as a non-Chad (I’d give myself a 6.5 with perfect lighting, and on top of this I’m not white), when you don’t give a free pass on personality or lack thereof, it’s even harder.

Only solution I can think of is maxing myself out to get more volume of hot girls, and then I can hope for a good person in the batch.

I am a total Stacy chaser and I sometimes struggle to get hard if the woman isn’t hot (6+). So it’s just not an option for me to lower my looks standards.

PM_Happy_Puppy_Pics · 2022-12-06T19:44:14+00:00

Women love shaming men and they love telling men what we should like. How about no, we will like whatever we want and you can complain all you want.

SoleMatesC4S · 2022-12-06T20:16:12+00:00

However, they have high standards for the appearances of the women they date.

Really? Tell that to the handful of female posters around here who swear on a stack of bibles that men will fuck "chicken sandwiches". I'd also like to point out that when men 'round here imply that ugly men would treat a woman better they get roundly torn apart for being self-serving, so how is this assertion any different.

TBF that was one sexy McChicken tho

itsokiloveu · 2022-12-06T21:26:28+00:00

Sexual history and clothing are irrelevant

Harvest895 · 2022-12-06T23:28:38+00:00

What are you talking about? I see men with average looking women everyday. I see men marrying average looking people everyday. Not everyone is on Reddit and obsess over these small things.

geometersbane · 2022-12-06T18:53:33+00:00

Because most of the time that's the only thing of value women bring to the table.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-12-06T20:01:03+00:00

Men's appearance standards for women = pls don't be overweight.

If you date someone you aren't attracted to you then you wont be very happy.

2022-12-06T18:26:39+00:00

Don’t know about this. In my experience the women who are educated and have careers don’t want to settle down because they love being boss bitch and don’t need a man. I’ll take a foreign woman with less education and doesn’t care about money any day over a high class Princess. I also don’t think 1 woman is enough to make any man happy so finding the one is a fools errand.

TravelerSF · 2022-12-06T18:29:14+00:00

However, they have high standards for the appearances of the women they date.

How do you define these high standards? Is it about everyone going for the same, specific, very narrow type, or for what they personally prefer? I have some things I'm definitely not attracted to, but otherwise would say that my preferences have plenty of chances for variation.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-06T18:35:18+00:00

Ehhh so why did my exes who blatantly admitted to me I was too attractive for them (I didnt feel that way of course, but they said it and later others said it to me after the rel ended) treat me like crap and expect too much of me, when Ive never cheated, have a college and graduate school degree, financially stable and tended to be more loyal than them?

IntegrityDJones · 2022-12-06T20:39:29+00:00

This sounds like ugly men who tell women to fuck ugly guys because they’re good guys who won’t cheat (when really they’re just too repulsive to be fuckboys).

I’m fine with men going after and judging women by their looks. I can’t fathom telling someone to fuck someone they’re repulsed by. I certainly wouldn’t do it. Just don’t get mad if a woman judged you by your looks and you’re ugly.

This sounds vaguely like you think attractive women are trans and less attractive women are a better catch. We women usually laugh when men say that garbage and this is no different. You’re not a better catch because you’re not attractive. And who says attractive women can’t be faithful, dress well, be educated and financially literate? You think that’s reserved for ugly women? Do better man

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UneastAji · 2022-12-06T22:01:49+00:00

However, they have high standards for the appearances of the women they date.

Countless statistics show men find average women attractive but women find average men ugly. So. No.

Once they only judge a woman by her appearance they are more prone to end up with promiscuous, dishonest, cheating women and that is not in their best interest.

Where's the evidence of that?

Admitted we believe you. What happens if you're with an ugly woman: she's insecure and constantly cunts you to prove that you actually find her attractive. Or her standards are through the roof because she expects her man to compensate her shortcomings. So it's either a "dishonest cheat" or an "anxiety ridden crazy and prude".

If men judged women more by their sexual history, the clothes they wear, their education level and financial life, they would have a better time dating.

Where's the evidence of that?

Admitted we believe you. Men who do that end up with tradcon prude women who cunt them into being career ridden and other tradcon high maintenance things like expensive display of commitment. That's sooo much better...

Not only you're wrong, but even if you were right we'd be in a "choose your evil" situation, none of these scenario lead to a good outcome for men, but it leads to a good outcome for YOU in particular. You talk a lot like the femcels tbh, but flash news, even for the type of men who judge women by sexual history you need to catch their attention and attract them for them to acknowledge your existence. You can't bypass working on your social skills.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-12-06T22:56:12+00:00

Absolutely ridiculous, although it's true attraction needs to be there men have to always date down women date up Google it please before you post nonsense like this!

trail22 · 2022-12-07T03:20:52+00:00

If women were the ones who approached men and asked them out for dates, they wouldnt have to preselect for looks.

Kingsofthe-world2 · 2022-12-08T11:14:18+00:00

I would turn that on its head, you should be happy that men don,t care if your intelligent, wealthy, if you well educated or went to a good school, have a good job, or what you status is. Because us guys have to be all those things for women. You guys just have to look ok. I might add for me, personality trumps everything in the end, even looks.

Title	Most men focus too kuch on looks in dating and that impacts them negatively.
Author	Pitiful_Maiden
Upvotes	23
Comments	245
Date	December 6, 2022 6:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zedchf/most_men_focus_too_kuch_on_looks_in_dating_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-men-focus-too-kuch-on-looks-in-dating-and.1142684 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142684

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