Do girls usually assume the guy they're dating (or guys in general) can easily get casual sex?

wtknight · 2022-11-14T17:32:18+00:00

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Bekiala · 2022-11-14T17:40:29+00:00

I was always uneasy that the guy wanted casual sex. Whether he could get it or not fell outside my sphere of interest as a young woman.

CimZim · 2022-11-14T17:43:22+00:00

Is that the default?

Yes, if you only listen to social media.

Like, do you assume most men can easily get casual sex if they choose?

Not after making male friends after puberty.

Or at least the guy you're dating?

No, I was actually surprised by his N, I thought it'd be lower.

EmeraldsFaure · 2022-11-14T21:01:49+00:00

If you aren’t picky about appearance, you can easily get casual sex. That’s why it’s funny to hear people with history of high n count be described as desirable or sexual demigods/ demigoddesses. Many unattractive, out of shape people get lots of casual sex. It doesn’t mean they’re desirable, it just means they and their hookups prize quantity over quality, at least partially.

Nothing wrong with casual sex if that’s what you enjoy. It’s highly dependent upon personality as well as views on intimacy/ relationship. The idea of casual sex grosses me out. But I have friends who are Tinder queens. Even they’re slowing down due to years of easy sex but zero emotional connection. Yet they’re still hooking up because it’s become a normal part of their psyche. They actually freak out when guys want to try becoming FWB with possibility of dating.

Married men and men looking for easy hookups are clogging up apps. Single guys should direct ire towards them instead. They’re messing it up for single guys by driving away quality women from OLD. The amount of married guys who messaged me on app was ridiculous. Men can easily get casual sex not just via apps. The guy who approached me at a hotel recently and slipped his room number, pretty sure he’s had his share of success. He wouldn’t have made such a ballsy move if he hadn’t experienced it.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-11-14T18:01:58+00:00

I’ve honestly never thought about it, but I wouldn’t stay with a guy that was doing casual sex

januaryphilosopher · 2022-11-14T17:39:03+00:00

No. If I wanted to have casual sex with someone, I'd assume I wasn't the first person to have this thought, but otherwise it isn't a thought I have. Anyone can have casual sex easily if they lower their standards enough, but I assume you mean casual sex with people they prefer. Considering how I tend to be into introverts, I don't think it's that easy for them.

wtknight · 2022-11-14T17:33:49+00:00

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lovelythecove · 2022-11-14T19:00:23+00:00

Every man I’ve dated aside from one could relatively easily get casual sex. Not as easily as me or other women of similar caliber. But none of them struggled by any means, and all had similar or higher body counts than me (except the one guy.)

chalkandapples · 2022-11-14T20:18:18+00:00

I mean, I assume everyone that I think highly enough to be dating CAN get casual sex if he wanted to from SOMEONE. I'm sure most guys around me can get casual sex if he lowered his standards enough. I feel like they wouldn't do it though, since they're rather picky about who they date.

victoriabowen8 · 2022-11-14T21:16:00+00:00

Yes. I believe most men can get casual sex easily enough if they lower their standards. Men are also (usually) better at separating sex from feelings so they won't care as much about lowering their standards (to the floor!) if the sole purpose is to get off and nothing more. Sex is much more complicated (usually) for women - higher risk, less reward.

I'm in plenty of women's groups and I am usually FLOORED when women post their objectively ugly ex bf who cheated on them. Like HOW?!?!?! How did a man that looks like that get one woman, let alone TWO!?! I've seen some very ugly, broke, gross men juggling multiple women so now nothing shocks or surprises me. There are plenty of equally low value women out there ready to fuck your boyfriend if he gives her the opportunity.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-11-14T17:35:07+00:00

I never once had a thought about it in my life all I care about is them getting me. that being said if they got me they could get casual sex, because all my ltrs started as hookups. why would any woman ever think about this

thetruthishere_ · 2022-11-14T17:32:31+00:00

I’ve never been attracted to or dating a man and consciously thought, “can he get casual sex?”

Due-Lie-8710 · 2022-11-14T17:28:45+00:00

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Green-Quantity1032 · 2022-11-14T17:45:49+00:00

Nah, it depends on the guy and his personality and social factors. Some guys no, some guys yes. But it’s also not something I think about a lot when I’m dating someone.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-11-14T19:12:43+00:00

Generally speaking? No. I know a lot of introverted nerdy dudes and I know they can't. But then I also know social butterflies with histories of FWB arrangements and I know they don't have problems.

It just depends on the guy.

bunnakay · 2022-11-14T17:34:11+00:00

I've never thought about it.

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wtknight · 2022-11-14T17:36:22+00:00

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Local_Quality534 · 2022-11-14T18:19:04+00:00

It’s only guys I know that actively seek out casual partners so in a sense, yes. The women are almost always looking more for a relationship than a hookup.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2022-11-14T19:14:20+00:00

I've had casual sex with everyone I've ever dated so yeah, I did typically assume those guys could get it elsewhere with a bit of effort. I assumed it would take more work than it would take me, but most of those guys did actually do pretty well for themselves while single so it clearly wasn't an insurmountable barrier.

Smergmerg432 · 2022-11-14T19:24:43+00:00

I assume that if they’re attractive and asking if I’d like casual sex.

2022-11-14T19:41:41+00:00

I assume if I like him a lot, there are probably plenty of others who feel the same and among those are women who don’t mind having casual sex. So yes pretty much.

IntegrityDJones · 2022-11-14T22:11:36+00:00

Pretty sure all my FWB can get casual sex.

SPdoc · 2022-11-14T23:12:32+00:00

No assumptions, even subconsciously, unless said guy shared his sexual history with me.

Tbh, I think assumptions would also be based on the personality vibe. If he had a particular fuckboy vibe, than maybe. If he had a shy guy or even introvert vibe, probably wouldn’t assume.

agpass · 2022-11-14T23:59:23+00:00

Yeah, I normally do. Most of my friends that are guys have no issue getting casual sex so I guess that’s where that comes from.

I’m in a long term relationship now but when I used to date, I would assume I was not the only person they were dating and that they were probably having casual sex. It saved me a lot of heartache that I used to get when I assumed otherwise.

I’m not sure if it was where I went to college or the people I hung out with but I truly never realized how difficult it was for some men. My school was 25% male/75% female. I witnessed so many ridiculously hot women not only hook up with but fight over men that were well below average. I think it skewed my perception for a while.

WYenginerdWY · 2022-11-15T02:45:09+00:00

do you assume most men can easily get casual sex if they choose?

Most, no. My husband would have a single mom buffet if he left because he likes playing hero for about a month. If he wanted to settle down with one of them, he could probably do that too.

But if he was an overweight, balding forty five year old who walked around spouting MAGA bullshit, then decisively not.

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2022-11-15T06:03:05+00:00

Yes I assume it. I know ugly man whores. It can be done. All they gotta do is fuck anything in sight.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-11-15T11:50:29+00:00

Depends.

For example, when I went on our first date, I have only dated one man before my husband. I felt insecure because I had almost no experience and I thought I would shame myself.

After a a year into us dating, I brought those emotions of shame and how I felt he had more experience, how he would see less of me because of that due to him being more experienced. Turns out he was a kisseless virgin, which I would’ve never in a million guessed unless he told me. He was just horny and went along, regardless of what would happen…..seems that just being horny and being “whatever” about it can be seen as “confidence”.

That was a good lesson to not always make assumptions, sometimes they might not reflect the truth

obviousredflag · 2022-11-15T14:38:04+00:00

women i was dating often told me they think i am a player. So i guess, yes to your question.

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2022-11-15T18:40:27+00:00

When I was growing up... Yeah. If you are a moderately attractive guy my girl group thought you were a sex obsessed boy who didn't really care about his girlfriends. Then I made some male friends and boy was I wrong with the problems they came to me with. Turns out, guys have loads of girl issues and aren't that detached from sex, and aren't having casual hook ups wherever. Go figure.

gugabe · 2022-11-15T22:29:12+00:00

Girls inherently pedestalize the guys they're into, even if it makes no coherent sense. The amount of times I've had a girl friend act as though the random 4/10 they've picked is somehow a player... oh dear.

dumbbitchcas · 2022-11-16T02:39:00+00:00

Yes. My mentality with every guy I talk to/date is that he’s fucking Atleast 6 other people. It’s how you have to be, you’ve gotta be realistic. You’re not special, you’re not important to him, your just another hole on his roster. Keeps you from getting hurt

Green-Quantity1032 · 2022-11-16T10:03:49+00:00

Yes? If I date a guy (aside from one exception), I find him attractive. Attractive people get laid. If I find a person attractive, I assume they could and have gotten laid by dozens of people even if that’s not the case

wtknight · 2022-11-14T17:33:41+00:00

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wtknight · 2022-11-14T17:39:00+00:00

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teethpeach · 2022-11-14T17:47:59+00:00

I assume the men I see can get casual sex relatively easily because these men are all attractive. Maybe if they were ugly I’d feel different.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-11-14T20:19:11+00:00

I mean I think it's true that men can get casual sex easily, but not necessarily to someone they are attracted to or would ever feel okay or safe having sex with. They can go on Grindr and have a person freshly-showered and with a willing mouth at their place in less than an hour.

"But I'm not into guys" some of you will say. The lack of sexual attraction you straight dudes have for other dudes is similar in intensity to the lack of sexual attraction some of us women have for quite a few of the matches on the apps (usually the ones who are insulting, threatening sexual abuse, stalking/looking up where the person lives, things that aren't obvious or they don't reveal until you start messaging them).

This is a stretch of an analogy but I once read someone on dating subreddits here make this comparison, that dating for men on apps is like looking for water in a desert and dating for women on apps is like looking for potable water in a swamp.

But most of the creatures in the desert manage to find water and survive. And most of the creatures in the swamp similarly manage to stay hydrated and survive. By adapting.

ILoveFans6699 · 2022-11-15T08:53:54+00:00

Yes. Do you think that about women? You'd be wrong.

Opening_Pattern_301 · 2022-11-14T17:44:53+00:00

My first girl told me she had to make sure i wasnt a player, keep in mind she was my first everything except kiss, she was my third kiss and both of my previous kisses were "stolen" from me.

EnteFetz · 2022-11-14T17:47:25+00:00

Most women seem to be offended by the fact that you are only pursuing her, because she is the only woman who is interested in you.

But for many men that is simply the case.

I've dated girls who were my only option but then they ask me why I choose them.

Of course I made up some cute lie on the spot to appease her.

But obviously I was only dating her is because I don't have any other options.

pronouns-king-lord · 2022-11-14T17:49:34+00:00

High body count females makes casual sex easy.

drew8311 · 2022-11-14T17:49:38+00:00

This is for sure better than the girl thinking you can't get sex elsewhere.

NockerJoe · 2022-11-14T17:49:48+00:00

Most women I've dated have made the assumption about me. Hell if a woman assumes you do it that usually says a lot about what she thinks of you.

daddysgotanew · 2022-11-14T17:55:05+00:00

Yes. Multiple girls I dated just assumed that every woman that gave me a sideways glance in public was trying to find a way to hop on my dick in some random aisle without her noticing. It ranges from flattering to annoying depending on their insecurity level. I wanted to tell them “honey, if I could get laid that easy with everyone I wouldn’t even bother with exclusive relationships.” Women don’t understand that though.

rivetcitymayor · 2022-11-14T17:56:18+00:00

If a girl likes you she will automatically and I cannot stress this enough…AUTOMATICALLY assume other girls like you as well

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-11-14T19:28:15+00:00

You're not going to get good answers by asking it this way.

A good way to tell how women feel about this is their degree of jealousy. The easier they think you can get casual sex, the more jealous they'll be. Mainly because they will notice things like other women checking you out, etc.

Of course, no one wants to admit to being jealous, either. Several women I've been with have 'not been the jealous type' only to turn out to be pretty jealous lol. Which is fine, I think some amount of jealousy is healthy.

nina_rat · 2022-11-14T20:05:28+00:00

Lol no, most guys are thirsty even when going out with a girl they know won’t hook up with them precisely because they don’t get laid

Novadina · 2022-11-14T20:27:17+00:00

Can’t say I ever even considered it to make an assumption about it either way.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-11-14T23:39:58+00:00

They're usually dating out of their league so yes

slumberpuppet · 2022-11-15T11:03:15+00:00

Maybe casual sex isn't just given to you, but we assume that because men dedicate their life to get casual sex

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-11-15T19:40:48+00:00

The ones on this forum do.

1) probably because thats what the average guy wants. It's indicated here.

2) men tend to really lower their standards for casual sex.

3) casual sex benefits men more. Most women dont regularly orgasm from casual sex. Pretty much guaranteed for men.

2022-11-15T20:26:49+00:00

Yes most of the time because I believe everyone is better at dating than me

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-11-16T16:26:37+00:00

Title	Do girls usually assume the guy they're dating (or guys in general) can easily get casual sex?
Author	Green-Quantity1032
Upvotes	45
Comments	194
Date	November 14, 2022 5:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yv690a/do_girls_usually_assume_the_guy_theyre_dating_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-girls-usually-assume-the-guy-theyre-dating-or.1144582 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144582

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