Why do women always have to “marry up?” In college most of my class was girls putting males down who were their equals. They always said they deserved to marry up like to a professor or Doctor. Why isn’t an equal partner good enough?

63daddy · 2023-01-23T20:16:03+00:00

Read about hypergamy. Women “marrying up” has been the norm in many cultures through much of history. In some cultures it’s literally women escaping their cast and marrying into a higher cast. In most eastern societies it’s more about raising their socioeconomic status.

Hypergamy goes hand in hand with men being seen as protectors and providers and if we go back to tribal societies where physical strength was key providing and protecting and childbirth was quite dangerous, it’s easy to understand why this came about.

The problem is society still ha s this custom, but times have changed. It used to be fewer women were educated, now education focuses on females for example. I think another issue is what feminists want or claim and what many women actually want are often not the same.

Anyways, the concept is hypergamy, so read up on that if you are interested.

algo_trader_6ix · 2023-01-23T20:37:24+00:00

Hypergamy existed always but it really went into hyperdrive due to technological advancements.

Before, women couldn't really maximize on their hypergamy because it was limited to the people at school, in the neighborhood, church, social events, etc. They could only practice limited hypergamy within that pool of males.

Because of the internet (and the resulting tools like Instagram, dating apps, etc.) women can practice hypergamy across the world by clicking buttons in their pajamas so an equal is clearly out of the question.

I wouldn't want to be growing up as a young man right now.

DinoMartino73 · 2023-01-23T20:13:02+00:00

Hypergamy is not just an ancient tradition, but a biological drive.

solar-garlic1776 · 2023-01-23T20:34:52+00:00

Here 2 important questions you should be asking:

1) why should I/what is value in getting married 2) are they any high value women left

While many women FEEL they deserve to marry up, the over whelming majority don't even qualify for an LTR

What these ladies fail to grasp is since they are working and in some cases make more than men for the same job (primarily right outta college) that the amount of men making more is slim. Until women grasp this concept and the fact that what they consume on IG and TT isn't real, they are destined to die alone with many cats.

solar-garlic1776 · 2023-01-23T20:51:00+00:00

Yes in theory that is how marriage works. Unfortunately, that is not how some half of women feel. To them it's a free meal ticket. As we are starting to see, the men that women consider the marrying up has plenty of options and if he is smart isn't signing any contract that risks him losing everything he has built.

Scandi_Navy · 2023-01-23T21:05:09+00:00

Make sure to tell them that if hypergamy applies, that feminism does not. All this talk of equality, equity, pay gap communism, all goes out the window when it's time to sell their ass. And I say sell, because hypergamy has nothing to do with dating for love, looks, or personality.

chupasway · 2023-01-23T20:37:58+00:00

"hypergamy" has always been based on biology forever. However, in modern times where women can work much of the same jobs as men and actually have an impact on building society outside of having kids, it messes up the whole hypergamy thing because now more and more women are making more money so it throws everything off. We have to adapt to it somehow.

kittenegg25 · 2023-01-23T21:21:28+00:00

I'm an engineer and my husband is a lawyer. If I had not gotten an engineering degree, we'd probably have less money starting off, but we are planning on moving toward a more traditional dynamic, making my degree useless lol. Without my job, I can focus on continuously carrying, birthing, and raising our children while maintaining our household and cooking every day.

I think the issue is not that women want to marry up, it's that they want to marry up so their husband can be the breadwinner while they refuse to perform their feminine role. I don't think there is anything wrong with preferring the man be the bread winner, but it's not fair to have that expectation when you refuse to be the babymaker/cleaner/cook/child-rearer.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-01-23T22:43:25+00:00

Because unfortunately this is the world we live today and is more of a biological drive for a woman to marry a man who is a provider and a protector. The funny thing is, women are applauded for having such standards, but if men dare to have standards like a fit woman with no rich sexual history and young, they get shamed for it.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2023-01-23T21:05:17+00:00

As other's have said, it's called hypergamy.

In US culture, education is a big sorting factor, and it comes in tiers so it's easier to illustrate. The tiers being drop-out, high school diploma, college diploma, master's degree, doctorate degree. In each tier, women tend to only date within that tier or up. So for a woman with a master's degree, a man with only a bacheolor's is "beneath her", even if he picked something challenging with strong earnings like engineering and she has a master's in some oversaturated liberal arts major that can't get her a job that pays the bills.

A big problem going forward now is that with more women earning doctorates than men now, there simply aren't enough men with doctorates for those women to date & marry to go around. Same will happen at the master's and bachelor degree level too.

It's a bit of a head-scratcher how some think that marrying up is their birthright. Sure some can, but mathematically, they all can't. I don't see women overcoming their hypergamous wiring, so the only thing that can happen is many never marry. There was a research study that predicts something like 45% of women will be single & never married in the near future.

runner557 · 2023-01-24T02:42:35+00:00

Hypergamy. It's always existed. But today it's on steroids.

This is controversial to say, but women also tend to want to feel inferior, BUT ONLY in regard to their personal relationship dynamic. They will deny this...especially the feminists. But it's reality. Women much prefer men who are taller, more successful, stronger, dominant, etc.. Women find this sexy. They want to feel protected and taken care of (even when they are able to protect and take care of themselves). And studies back this up. Countless studies have found that women find these traits to be very attractive, very sexually arousing in men.

Gender equality has made significant progress in economics, politics, education, and law. But it's not made much of any progress at all in our personal relationships. Look how many women, even die hard feminists, still follow archaic and sexist gender traditions in regards to dating, marriage, and relationships. For example, look how many change their last names to match their husband still today. Which again shows you my point that they want to be viewed as under their husband's umbrella.

Scarce12 · 2023-01-23T21:53:59+00:00

University colleges need to be dismantled and rebuilt.

They weren't designed for the modern era.

Women attend college and are provided such an unrealistic, sheltered lifestyle full of privilege and entitlement, that it creates a situation where "luxury beliefs" thrive:

https://nypost.com/2019/08/17/luxury-beliefs-are-the-latest-status-symbol-for-rich-americans/

So, of course these women at college have unrealistic views which they attribute as entitlements, the college tells them as much. We have entire facilities called gender studies faculties, which sell this belief to women, and if enrolments are down they force people to attend these classes.

The reality is, and you should tell them as much, is they won't be able to "marry up" and they need to deal with it.

Diesel-66 · 2023-01-23T20:10:23+00:00

It's very built into their DNA. Women are likely going to be off work to have and potentially take care of children. They need to be protected and cared for. Sure it's less likely to be invaders or lions but it's still felt

imbecile · 2023-01-23T20:12:40+00:00

Picking the best possible mate is kind of the very reason different sexes exist in the first place.

The two sexes are nothing more than two different strategies for procreation:

Male is many cheap high risk gametes. Female is few expensive low risk gametes.

And which strategy is better depends on the current environment. Which is why it is generally a good thing when both strategies are available to a species. Makes it a lot more adaptable and flexible.

That the criteria that are used to decide which mating partner is the best one are often completely whacky and weird is not limited to human females. Sexual selection in peacocks is prime example for that. As long as the criteria work well enough often enough that's ok. Even if it seems strange.

mhk23 · 2023-01-23T21:22:00+00:00

Hypergamy

jjj2576 · 2023-01-23T21:42:37+00:00

Have you read Rollo?

jjj2576 · 2023-01-23T23:55:18+00:00

Have you read anything about Hypergamy?

NootNootMFer · 2023-01-24T01:00:41+00:00

Primarily biology.

I'm sorry, I don't buy the whole "iT'S aLwAyS SoCIeTy" horseshit. If it were, we wouldn't see the same thing happening in every country and every society to ever exist. If anything, certain cultures may embrace and encourage this more, but it's always just a matter of degree.

Women seek a man who can provide for them and their offspring. That's it. They want to improve their situation and the situation in which they raise children.

Simple example: What's worse, (1) an emotional affair, or (2) a purely physical affair? For the vast majority of men, it's (2). It jeopardizes their paternity. For the vast majority of women, it's (1). Men devoting resources towards another woman (and away from them) is far worse.

To me, it's the most normal and natural thing in the world. I don't blame women for it. That's like blaming men for wanting a woman younger than them (which feminists do).

EvidencePlz · 2023-01-23T22:52:11+00:00

Men are still marrying? Wow that's fucked up.

MrStone1 · 2023-01-23T20:23:29+00:00

They have an over inflated sense of their self worth.

Imo- It's a spiritual thing, Most of these women won't marry or have children, Mother nature is a ruthless bitch and she has no time for women who think they are above having children and better than the men who would father them, They have been selected out of the breeding process, They die out and they will serve as an example for women of the future to not follow.

odysseytree · 2023-01-23T20:11:28+00:00

Social conditioning and confirmation bias.

ExMuzzy · 2023-01-23T22:29:56+00:00

Besides what’s been said, they’re probably also more aware of how divorce favours the partner that earns less. There was a lot of fuss when Adele had to give her ex-husband a huge chunk of her acquired wealth.

rotkohl007 · 2023-01-23T23:28:13+00:00

Sexism

OriginalPostrSociety · 2023-01-24T04:02:43+00:00

Hypergamy. It’s biology and no amount of complaining will change it. Just be happy that when you’re 30 and successful you’ll be banging all the hot college chicks and the girls your age will be begging you to give them a second chance.

rationalguyforsure · 2023-01-23T22:49:47+00:00

Women are like cats. Go study cat behavior and you will understand women much better. Men are like dogs, if you want friends who love you unconditionally, you gotta find some dogs.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2023-01-23T20:41:14+00:00

My question is why don't men marry better? The best way to reduce alimony is to marry a woman who makes as much as or more than you do.

DavidCksss · 2023-01-23T20:39:22+00:00

To add to everyone else: Straight women tend to want to feel inferior (in the literal sense, without connotations) in some way, shape or form compared to their partner. Ask any woman if they want to feel small or big next to their partner and chances are the answer is going to be the former. I'd reckon it's similar to that dynamic.

On a different note. People can have their preferences. They shouldn't complain if they don't get what they want though, that's on them.

redblackberry843 · 2023-01-24T02:50:08+00:00

It’s their best chance of survival. Yet they shame men who want beautiful, feminine, young and fit women. If men shamed women based on their preferences we’d say it’s because they are stupid, poor, weak and short.

SuspiciousGrievances · 2023-01-24T03:11:08+00:00

1 or 2 will do okay, and the rest will learn how the real word operates.

Fantastic_Box3257 · 2023-01-24T04:57:18+00:00

They want you to still provide and protect but you can expect nothing from them,not even loyalty

Marriage is a scam nowadays for women to settle with a servant after they have fun ,you are bound by laws to provide ,you can't say nothing to her ,because you say something it's emotional abuse ,if you try touching her for affection and she is not in mood ,you have to wait if she ever get in mood ,if she doesn't,you can't touch her because it's physical abuse ,if you think of divorce then prepare alimony(in my country there is a law passed that after alimony also ,if wife is not able to maintain her standards then you have to pay maintenance,so life time credit card without pay back), maintenance,if you unfortunately were given grace to have sex 2-3 in marriage and you have children,even if they are not yours and you signed birth certificate then welcome to the screwed club

Marriage earlier was a bond and PARTNERSHIP where you take care of some parts and she does the same ,you fulfill some of her needs and she does yours

But nowadays, it is better to find other services ,where you are GUARANTEED to get them

You need help with house work ,,,,hire househelp or do yourself ( even in marriage ,you are bound to get money but she is not entitled to help financially or in house work)

Food ,,,,,hire chef or learn yourself ( same ,better do it yourself ,will be helpful in long run)

Sex ,,,,,,pay for it (you don't have to beg for it or fear getting framed or raising someone's child)

Emotional support or feeling lonely ,,,,,not much can be done in this ,but you can't expect your wife also to provide this because of entitlement,,,,,better hire a service like rent a girlfriend or what ,or anonymously talk to someone ,share your issue ,also ,if you have good guy friends then there isn't much a issue

What else ,,,,,we don't need much ,just food in belly ,house clean,person to share worries ,physical affection and whatever we do either we need being felt special or important because of that or we rather don't do that

Save yourself a headache ( Ofcourse if you find someone worth the risk ,go for it ,it can be a bliss and reverse, but you are prepared in mind)

dafiyahman · 2023-01-24T05:01:42+00:00

Women are hypergamous by nature. Get your bread up so you can have options. Don’t fight it like they do (women). Embrace it while turning yourself into an absolute specimen!!

portojohn2020 · 2023-01-24T07:10:35+00:00

This might sound sexist. But I'm trying to think inna broader sense thru history. Instead of just dwelling on today's standards. Maybe women have a need inside them to marry up, because before women were mostly only baby makers and then stay at home moms. So they needed that status of financial superiority in a man in order to basically live off of. And the men were happy to do so. The roles were concrete. Then times changed and women started working more. Some single mothers. Some never baby-ers. But the majority of women that were working, would soon enough end up being stay at home moms anyways, so the cycle continues. The other group of women that did go back to full time work and responsibilities still needed that superior man's paycheck to live off off of, during and after the pregnancy. So from most angles, the women's need to find a superior men then them, intensified. Some super women gave birth and went back to work the next day. Woo hoo for that minority. They get my brownie points. Anyways, throughout modern history and beyond, women always have it in them that they need to find someone to take care of them FULLY at some point. Now they marry up self consciously because it's a generationally inherited too deep in DNA.

AmuseDeath · 2023-01-24T08:12:13+00:00

They can afford to because the average girl gets 100+ times the attention than the average guy. If guys got anywhere near the same amount of up options, guys would be just as hypergamous.

throwaway3569387340 · 2023-01-23T21:34:34+00:00

Entitlement

lifesuckswannadie · 2023-01-23T23:46:05+00:00

Time for your pills 💊 💊

YogurtclosetDirect53 · 2023-01-24T00:47:54+00:00

Because the modern women is garbage

ThrowAway___0000000 · 2023-01-23T21:20:22+00:00

Why do guys always want to a thin young & beautiful girl? It's just biology, we care about their body because we need children, they care about money & status because that will protect those children.

ehWoc · 2023-01-23T20:19:40+00:00

I mean, I would like someone who's academically on the same level with me, so that we would be able to hold a meaningful conversation. But I don't feel like the women around me require the man to have a higher title than themselves.

AZEMT · 2023-01-24T02:00:16+00:00

My wife married down, but she received a 9" cock on her wedding night😈

Jemtex · 2023-01-23T22:41:58+00:00

if you a a selection of something you pecienve as better would you take it if you had the option? Practiacly its becuase they see it has better genes. To be a Dr is a tough work and you have to out compete alot of other males and females and be mentally and physically robost or the most part

Anih1list · 2023-01-24T05:39:47+00:00

The reason women marry up in social status is the same reason ugly-ass guys still simp for supermodels. Women aren’t more likely to marry up (that’s logically impossible since marriages are one-for-one), men just have a different definition of “up” which mainly concerns physical attractiveness. The question is, who WOULDN’T marry up given the chance?

This is not to say mating arrangements are fair. They’re most certainly not, for men and in some ways for women. Its just that different standards means men and women can each marry “up” according to their own standards.

wrstlr3232 · 2023-01-23T23:13:39+00:00

I, and my two best friends all are dating/marrying people with higher levels of pay/education. Maybe it’s a stereotype, and I don’t have the statistics, but there are plenty of women who don’t marry up.

griggori · 2023-01-24T00:00:51+00:00

They don’t. It’s a trend on average, but other women absolutely do fall in love with and marry men who are, by some metric, beneath their social status. Hypergamy is a trend on average, it’s not a constant like the lose of gravity.

Black-Patrick · 2023-01-23T22:38:51+00:00

Why do you turn a sociological generalization into a hyperbolic prediction? Women marry across and up in terms of socioeconomic status, but also across dominance/competence hierarchies of all sorts where men sort themselves into said hierarchies and women select from the top. In socioeconomic terms they are trying to maintain or improve the level of resources they grew up accustomed to in general. Men as providers, don’t rate resource provision as importantly as women do so they are fine selecting a mate from a lower socioeconomic status as long as she has the qualities that men value. It’s not a rule though. There will be exceptions.

pargofan · 2023-01-24T01:21:43+00:00

How's this different than guys marrying a girl so much better looking that he "punched above his weight"??

Isn't it the same idea, except women have a standard of "wealth" while men have a standard of "beauty?" Both are equally superficial.

earbus · 2023-01-24T03:31:52+00:00

Who cares about that though?

You just want one girl who you will love, right?

Make sure you don't make a mistake in choosing the one and trust me, you will feel blessed that that girl is choosing you too.

Just keep working on yourself to make yourself better for your future partner!

INTERNETCHECKS · 2023-01-24T03:55:49+00:00

What if men only married up, then that would happen?

jokerfriend6 · 2023-01-23T21:09:14+00:00

Even with women if they marry below their level, many men are mooches. As a man I married someone who was willing to put in hard work as not to be a drain on me and our kids. She does a lot for others which is why I love her.

aimingforzero · 2023-01-24T00:54:44+00:00

I've just always wanted equal effort, and sometimes that doesn't even mean equal labor. My job allows me to pick up overtime where I basically do nothing. He does manual labor. So thats equal effort.

TheRealEmVeePea · 2023-01-23T22:16:17+00:00

There are millions of nuances that determine which partners are best for which people. No one could possibly determine who is ‘equal’ and who isn’t.

I like curvy girls but I’m fairly fit. But I’m not very neat. My wife is social but I’m not. How do you determine who is equal to who there? And that’s just 3 traits when there are millions.

heeroena · 2023-01-23T22:58:00+00:00

https://youtu.be/mC149YY2G-I

manicmonkeys · 2023-01-23T23:32:59+00:00

It's simple...because they have unfair expectations.

BKEnjoyer · 2023-01-24T01:22:48+00:00

This can also apply to personality and physical traits, they won’t marry someone who doesn’t meet those often high expectations/desires

Shadowdragon409 · 2023-01-24T01:29:34+00:00

If someone wants to marry up, they need to leave enough room upwards to marry into.

If you get a fucking PhD, there's only a handful of other people that are your betters.

soulure · 2023-01-24T03:48:54+00:00

Egg scarcity. Watch any bird documentary. Fucking ridiculous.

RabidusRex · 2023-01-24T06:47:47+00:00

Because everyone has Narcissistic Personality Disorder these days.

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