I don't buy that romantic literature "means nothing" about people's preferences

harmonica2 · 2023-08-26T06:12:17+00:00

I don't read a lot of romance novels, but in ones written by men, for men, would the female love interest character be a young virgin I guess, opposite to that billionaire bad boy?

AngeCruelle · 2023-08-26T10:25:03+00:00

Comparatively, romantic media aimed at men seem to feature supportive female love interests, because this is what men want. Example: swort art online etc.

Did you miss that one of the most popular types of anime love interests are women and girls who can be outright cruel/abusive if not straight-up psycho?

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-08-26T06:21:53+00:00

Cop, mechanic, chef, and musician were the romantic interests of my most recent reads.

There's always something for everyone.

I don't care for billionaires or bad boys in my life or books.

Jambi1913 · 2023-08-26T07:12:28+00:00

Our fantasies surely have something to say about our desires in reality - but only insofar as underlying themes, I would say, not explicit details.

Many women read romantic fiction - from Jane Austen through to erotic fanfiction. There’s quite a wide range. Themes I see commonly have more to do with a man being magnetic and sexy, self-assured and passionate and having a singular desire for the woman than they do with wealth or him being a violent bad boy or bully.

Male-centric fiction tells it’s own story with it’s common themes…

But fantasies are fantasies - most of us don’t need them to become reality in order to feel attracted to someone or to find fulfilment or happiness. For some, those fantasies becoming reality would be overwhelming and not actually what they want. It’s like many girls dream of being a princess, but when you think about the reality of that vs the fantasy - it sounds pretty awful in many ways…A lot of fantasies are best enjoyed in the imagination.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-26T08:40:53+00:00

You're focusing on only a few books and seeing what you want to see. Also popular in romance books are the "hardworking honest man", "shy and creative", "weird but thoughtful" and "golden retriever" types. Gay male romances are also really popular among women, so, you know, I wouldn't read too much into it. (Especially as there are plot reasons for these things too. At least one character being rich opens up a lot more possibilities and is a way for the author to not worry about what characters can afford or sending them to work, and a character being "bad" can create conflict which is essential to plot without stretching the imagination too far. Popularity of some tropes is in part just lazy writing.)

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-08-26T07:47:31+00:00

Because we like the idea “fantasy” of a larger than life male character that’s devoted to a fairly plain average woman. It’s a nice fantasy to indulge once in a while

However, that is exactly that, it’s fantasy. In real life it wouldn’t work (it would be border abusive sometimes) we are all human and have human flaws and most of us aren’t billionaires.

It’s part of being an adult knowing the differences between fantasy and reality

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-26T13:07:38+00:00

My dude, it was so cool of you to portray women as weird while men basically just want a sweetheart right? But then you brought up anime and that adjusts glasses to gleaming was your fatal mistake. Either you don't know dick about anime or you're lying.

The Tsundere is the most popular female archetype in anime and yes, for the record, Asuna is A sun dere.

What's a Tsundere generally? A woman defined by being strong, difficult to handle, competent, and who sees all of the obvious flaws of the male protagonist, points them out not usually even nicely, and generally causes him to rise above them. This is often contrasted with a more sweet crushing side that loves said male protagonist and is capable of softness that generally she only shows to him and usually only when he's in danger or pain. She also often denies her interest in him, "it's not like I like you or anything, baka".

It seems to me if we look at this, weak nerd boys want a mommy dom basically. A with holding one at that who slowly over ages finally admits to liling you and then continues to brutalize you into shape. But y'all balk at this fantasy in real life because your egos can't take the heat of a Tsundere because you're a bunch of bakas.

Oh let's not forget the Tsundere's crazier older sister, the Yandere. Who is equally popular in these shows. She's so taken with the protagonist that she's willing to kill over her jealousy and rage concerning him. She's controlling and dangerous turned up to a million including be willing to literally take away his own agency if he stands in the way.

Sounds to me like deep down most of you want a mommy dom with a katana who ties you up and doesn't allow you to refuse to love her or not do what she says.

And yet you're all so mad at women telling you to wipe your ass and do the dishes and stop leaving socks around. Is it because we won't do it with a knife in hand or do we just not sling the term baka enough to make it work?

JNRoberts42 · 2023-08-26T06:41:58+00:00

Cool. So nerdy men’s inordinate fascination with anime means they are closeted pedos with fantasies of magical powers, right? Gamers secretly want to mutilate people and cause mass casualties?

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-26T12:37:11+00:00

I mean, people read romantic literature to fantasize. They aren’t self help books or tech manuals. So why would you not optimize the fantasy and imagine being prettier, or more desirable, or pursued by a billionaire? Or a vampire or werewolf for that matter? Women in general understand that is highly unlikely that they will ever catch the fancy of a billionaire, let alone a vampire or werewolf. When you watch porn do you decide to take a job as a pizza delivery boy in hopes of having women open the door naked and wanting you to ravage them in lieu of tips? I’m guessing not.

HmanTheChicken · 2023-08-26T15:49:10+00:00

I can’t really understand the idea of fantasies about something you wouldn’t want in reality- either these women are completely different from me or they’re capping.

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blebbyroo · 2023-08-26T05:55:23+00:00

What other romantic media is aimed towards men are you referring to? You’ve included an anime which doesn’t seem to be directly aimed at men. I would think most romance directed at men is porn. Most men don’t consume romance content like women do

Veloci-Tractor · 2023-08-26T06:38:58+00:00

it's fantasy you idiot

you really just referenced anime lmao

anonymous375555 · 2023-08-26T07:27:29+00:00

So what, even men fantasize about being rich and powerful.

Also cheap literature is cheap. Don’t buy it and accept a real plot.

HungerISanEmotion · 2023-08-26T09:05:38+00:00

Most of the female "romantic" movies are actually porn for achieving status, power and riches... by grabbing a high status rich guy. These movies have really bland "romances".

Titanic has a really rich romance.

lolmastr13 · 2023-08-26T11:01:12+00:00

Fantasies are just that, fantasies

literaryhogwartian · 2023-08-26T07:21:09+00:00

The most popular classic romances have a strong, flawed but ultimately a good man as the lead.

Birb-brained · 2023-08-26T08:09:04+00:00

I take some exception to Holly Black being tagged as a romance writer for women. She’s a prolific young adult author spanning several decades, and the queen of faeries…

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-08-26T10:00:53+00:00

They aren’t preferences. They’re fantasies.

Like women in books by men are always busty virgins

mrcs84usn · 2023-08-26T11:06:44+00:00

In most books written by women for women, the most common love interests are Billionaire, Vampire, Werewolf, Pirate, and Pilot. So power and having a dangerous aspect to them.

TRP talks about women’s attraction to Dark Triad (arguably now the Dark Tetrad) personality traits.

The whole nice guy/bad boy discussion has been around long before the pillsphere was even a thing.

lolmastr13 · 2023-08-26T11:35:26+00:00

romantic literature ignores the problems the real world relationships would have
they go for the biggest audiences instead of hitting every niche
- fantasy portrays ideal

christinaaamariaaa · 2023-08-26T11:38:24+00:00

I read acotar and love it. I think it has a lot to do with the stuff that doesn’t exist in the real world that we enjoy, adventures, flying, teleporting, etc. it’s cool. Also Rhys is no bad guy, he saves the main girl from the bad guy. He’s like a Disney prince lol

Safinated · 2023-08-26T17:24:29+00:00

Yes, but fantasy is not reality

Shark--Week · 2023-08-26T20:36:38+00:00

Of course it means something. Anyone that says otherwise is lying. Of course women like attractive, wealthy, men with strong, confident personalities, which is 99% of romance protagonists.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2023-08-26T22:54:54+00:00

Of course romantic literature reveals a lot about woman’s sexual preferences.

But so does porn for men.

It doesn’t mean anything in a real world sense though.

Just like most men aren’t going to be attracting the beautiful slender 18 year old girls they are masturbating to; bored middle aged house wife’s are t going to be attracting 6 foot male model billionaires.

woobywoah · 2023-08-26T23:11:47+00:00

I’m not going to argue with you that those tropes in romantic literature written by women for women say something about the writer and the audience’s preferences. Of course, the “wealthy and successful bad boy with a dark past” love interests appeal to some women, but they don’t appeal to others. But female characters written by men definitely aren’t always “supportive,” they are frequently objects of fetishism. Take the problematic love interest trope of the young, virginal, and submissive girl which is a recurring character in a lot of media written by men for men; it doesn’t (I hope) represent the sexual preferences of the majority of men. It goes both ways.

Antisocialite99 · 2023-08-26T23:50:32+00:00

Romance novels often portray a near schizophrenic level of contradiction in the traits of the male lead. Like a professional assassin who has killed literally hundreds of people but decides to protect this one woman cus shes special and he developed a soft spot for her or something. Those are two separate guys. The first one is a sociopathic killer with zero feelings, and the second is some big softie.

wonderlandis · 2023-08-27T08:20:12+00:00

i thought this was obvious

First-Ad-4314 · 2023-08-27T11:13:03+00:00

I was team Jacob in twilight. One of my few green flags lol. And I read the BOOKS. the movies were an abomination

mikehawk1988 · 2023-08-27T13:35:30+00:00

My ex-girlfriend reading this ridiculous romance really showed a lot about her personality. It annoyed me the moment I found out what she reads but I tried to swallow it because it's not my business. But every aspect of hers I predicted came reality.

Title	I don't buy that romantic literature "means nothing" about people's preferences
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	75
Comments	138
Date	August 26, 2023 5:45 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/161mig2/i_dont_buy_that_romantic_literature_means_nothing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-dont-buy-that-romantic-literature-means-nothing.1229829 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229829

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