Does being an emotional tampon lead to the friendzone? Or only in certain cases?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-11-30T18:10:28+00:00

If she only calls you to complain about stuff and never to just talk, never to hang out or to see how you're doing, that's not a friendship. You're not even in a friendzone then, you're in the ''he is a great object I can talk at for a few hours'' zone.

toasterchild · 2023-11-30T16:08:27+00:00

What men consider being an emotional tampon women consider friendship.

Gravel_Roads · 2023-11-30T16:09:06+00:00

If you only want to be supportive of her as her romantic partner, but DON’T want to be supportive of her as a friend, then yes, you put YOURSELF in the friendzone if you listen and support her with the hope that she’ll end up dating you.

Because if you act towards a woman like a friend, she’s going to assume you want to be her friend. If you DON’T want to be her friend, don’t do things they friends do.

Sadsad0088 · 2023-11-30T16:44:19+00:00

you’re “friendzoned” because she’s not interested.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-30T16:17:36+00:00

I've heard of enough relationships that started from friends or acquaintances who shared a lot of emotions and other life events with each other, including my own, so no. Sometimes you can just be emotionally supportive friends though and that's okay.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2023-11-30T16:10:07+00:00

I don't think it affects attraction

and the girl ends up ONLY contacting the guy to vent, and then she dissapears

I think she wouldn't contact the guy at all if they weren't friends.

KayRay1994 · 2023-11-30T16:48:26+00:00

being an emotional tampon combined with very few redeeming (from an attraction/relationship pov) standpoint. Though it is worth noting, even the ‘successful’ emotional tampons get into pretty bad relationships because if that’s the character you’re hanging your hat on, you will attract people with severe attachment and self esteem issues

thisaccountaintrea1 · 2023-11-30T16:18:27+00:00

The friendzone is the result of one of two things:

1) A girl just doesn’t find you attractive in the first place

2) A girl might potentially find you attractive, but you wait too long to make a move and she moves on to other romantic interests.

If you want a girl to be your friend, offer emotional support as much as you’re able. If you want a girl to be your girlfriend, make your move, and then offer support as a lover if you’re successful.

LillthOfBabylon · 2023-11-30T15:57:19+00:00

When you genuinely care for a girl, you actually want to be her venting board. You genuinely want to hear about her problems to learn about who she is, give her a safe space to express her thoughts and provide solutions if they are wanted. Many times men complain that this leads to the friendzone, and the girl ends up ONLY contacting the guy to vent, and then she dissapears.

If that’s all he’s doing, its time to realize he needs a better definition of friends.

The issue is that guys are defining the friendzone as just talking about your problems. No hanging out, no having social events, just venting and talking about feelings? That’s not a friend.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-11-30T17:13:25+00:00

Men who consider being mutually supportive to the person that they are in a relationship with, whether a friendship of a romantic relationship, as being "an emotional tampon", deserve to have neither friends, nor romance.

wtknight · 2023-11-30T16:36:26+00:00

If a man is both attractive and interesting to a woman and emotional support for her, then it won’t lead to being friendzoned.

If he is only emotional support for her, then he will be friendzoned.

Men here always try to make a dichotomy here that men either need to be stoic jerks or complete simps, but this dichotomy does not exist in reality.

Zabadoodude · 2023-11-30T17:09:28+00:00

The BFF to bf route is just not worth it in general. It requires a lot of investment of time and rarely works. Becoming a flirty, peripheral friend who she sometimes hangs out with can be good. Becoming her therapist isn't.

My experience with women has been that they must respect you to be attracted to you. If you grovel, or unconditionally emotionally support her, while expecting nothing in return, she will not respect you.

0DarkFlirty · 2023-11-30T20:44:19+00:00

Not necessarily. The friendzone is a direct result of not finding you to be a sexual partner. A lot of women are totally fine being emotionally open with someone they have sex with.

Welllarmedhippie · 2023-12-01T05:06:26+00:00

I have never in my life, ever ever, talked about my deepest thoughts and feelings to a man who I wasn't in a close romantic relationship with. And even then I still reserve the gory details for my gal pals. No guy wants to hear that shit, nor would he understand anyway. Girls who dump shit on you probably don't respect you and are just using you as a free therapist.

And quit worrying about friendzoning for goodness sake people! Are you dating, having sex or talking about marriage? The answer is no? Then you're friends.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2023-11-30T16:13:37+00:00

The friendzone is friendship, full stop.

Bay-AreaGuy · 2023-11-30T17:18:56+00:00

It’s very easy to avoid the friendzone. If you’re attracted to a woman, make a move. If she says no, just move on.

Attraction is not negotiable.

Curious_Attention719 · 2023-11-30T16:41:30+00:00

I've learned that women largely don't want solutions to their problems, so I don't listen to their problems. This is a lesson my father tried teaching me, but I had to learn personally from my interactions. I've learned that women don't want an emotionally vulnerable man. They want the rock they can crash their emotions on, and you are there to set them straight with your more stoic nature. I've seen this with every successful heterosexual relationship (i.e. marriages and decade plus basically common law married couples).

I have women friends who genuinely care about my problems and well-being with me doing the same for them, and if they were available and open to a relationship with me, I'd date or marry them. I will never be a woman's sounding board if she's not a close friend or we aren't lovers/married otherwise.

DimensionVegetable37 · 2023-11-30T16:28:22+00:00

The friendzone happens when you decide to listen what women say they want versus what they actually do. You see this a ton with younger people in their 20s more so.

As a man society and women gaslight you. You're constantly told that you wanting sex as a man makes you a creep. Makes you an asshole. Women want respect loyalty and commitment. Women will complain day and night about how they want men to actually get to know her and so on. So what do you do as a man young, naive and caring enough to actually listen?

You do just that. You take it slow. You respect her as a person. You invest a ton of time and energy into her. Most times she literally does the opposite for you. You focus on her and just her because you want that same respect back. And for the time being you get labeled "just a friend".

Why? Because you listened instead of watching what she does. The most essential part to that list of things women say they want? Is her finding you attractive. Those complaints? Are about the men she wants to be with. Men either out of her league. The hot guys with options. The situationsships she put herself in hoping that she could change.

The friendzone is what women have for men they can use for something. But not date.

The sex zone, FWB is the male version of it.

You will sit there in the friendzone. Getting to know her. Building connection. But what is she doing that entire time? She's talking to other men and having sex with other men. She's building real connections, the kind she says she doesn't want while using you for other fulfilment. You're doing the job other men aren't doing.

That's the core difference between men and women. Women will literally have a network of people to fill in all the needs she has. One guy for sex, another to vent to, another for attention, one good with solving problems, one with money, one that's funny.

Men don't do that most of the time. Men rather build a partnership.comrade in arms. A secret society. Ride or die.

Men who end up in the friendzone are expected by women to still fulfill duties of a bf. Pay for dates even. These women will even sabotage or get mad at you for talking to other women!

As a man the best way to avoid the friendzone is to make your intentions clear as day from the start. You had fun with a chick in your friend group? Ask her out on a date.something as simple as saying you find her pretty and she's cool to be around, do you want to go out on a date sometime? There's a few places I'd like to see around the city I haven't had a chance to go to.

If she isn't interested. Walk away and never invest another breath. She has a line of other dudes just like you in her inbox. A FWB, a hookup or that pump and and dump shes hoping will call her back.

Don't try to prove your intent to her by doing all the work before she's even been aware. Guys doing nothing will get more than you.

NefariousnessLife220 · 2023-11-30T20:50:58+00:00

The use of the phrase "emotional tampon" tells me all I need to know about you.

meisterkraus · 2023-11-30T16:09:27+00:00

You need to define emotional tampon.
Stop using emotional tampon as a term.

grillopie · 2023-11-30T16:42:32+00:00

If shes dumping on you, she just sees you as a friend. If she was interested she would likely not share that many downers. There are exceptions, but i think this is generally the case.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2023-11-30T22:53:58+00:00

Because you didn’t initiate physical attraction and make your intentions known. Always let a woman know you are attracted to her first and foremost

Don’t friendship your way into pussy. Be her friend by extension of the fact that she wants you

1RedRoseGold · 2023-12-01T02:35:00+00:00

Over time I’d feel very emotionally close to my emotional tampon. It’ll make me feel more passionate towards that person. They will most likely lead me to wanting them as more than friends.

If I am being vulnerable to someone and they aren’t doing a good job at being an emotional tampon. I’ll turn cold towards them and it’ll push me away from them.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2023-11-30T17:43:08+00:00

I think you know the answer to this. Girls dont get turned on by tampons...they don't wanna fuck their tampons lol.

obviousredflag · 2023-11-30T19:19:10+00:00

The friendzone is the result of a woman not being interested in a guy romantically or sexually, but the guy thinking that maybe he can change that by being an emotional tampon or friend. But then he is not just a friend, but a friend with sexual interest who embarasses himself with simping until she loses all respect for him.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-11-30T16:55:06+00:00

Being an “emotional tampon” means you get used as a substitute for her emotionally unavailable her boyfriend - i.e., you do all the emotional heavy lifting for zero rerun, he gets to do all the fun stuff.

There’s zero reason for a man to be friends with a woman; “friendship” with a woman simply means you’ll be used, emotionally, financially, or both - if she’s not interested in a relationship, cut her out of your life.

jay10033 · 2023-11-30T17:19:59+00:00

Women like this are using men as free therapy. If you recognize as a man you are being used for free therapy to carry someone's emotional baggage, you must leave immediately. You aren't being paid to serve in this role. She'll dump all of her emotional baggage from chads and pookies running through her and get wondering "what did she do to deserve this" while you will sit there comforting her time after time, hearing stories of chads and pookies repeatedly clapping her cheeks and ghosting her. Don't perform this emotional labor.

No. If this happens, you give her a list of professional therapists and say no thanks. Please call one of these individuals.

In this role, you can only be described as a beta male orbiter hoping for a crumb of coochie after a procession of chads have wrecked their way through, leaving little for the village folk.

DarayRaven · 2023-11-30T16:05:26+00:00

That's just you being a beta orbiter and the symptom is your beta servitude which you said is being emotionally available/tampon

jay10033 · 2023-11-30T17:33:31+00:00

You wouldn't throw your trash out in a place that you valued. Having a woman dump their trash on you tells you all you need to know.

RIchardjCranium · 2023-11-30T16:04:22+00:00

Always does.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-11-30T16:20:03+00:00

If you’re an emotional tampon you o someone you’re not in a relationship with then you’re in the friend zone

Birch_T · 2023-11-30T17:27:38+00:00

mainly it's the guy's beta personality that allowed him to become the emotional tampon in the first place.

macone235 · 2023-11-30T19:47:39+00:00

If that's all you have to offer, then yes. I don't think this necessarily lowers your value though. Women love men who will allow them to be an emotional dumpster, but the man also has to be strong for her (and look the part by being physically attractive).

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-30T23:28:17+00:00

The actual FriendZone is fairly rare. Most of the time it is a simple case of one person not being attractive enough to the other to be an option for a real relationship.

But yes, women evaluate men more holistically than men evaluate women in these respects. So it is possible for a man to to otherwise have been attractive enough to be on the menu, and then make himself unattractive by being an emotional tampon.

It all depends on the dynamic. I don't really know exactly what you mean by being an emotional tampon. A guy can be supportive, but if in doing so he shows that he is actually of weak character and low dominance, attraction that was there can be ruined. But in general, if she is treating you like an emotional tampon as described, it is because she is treating you like a girlfriend and never was attracted to you enough in the first place to put you on the sexual menu. It can go both ways, but the latter is much more likely.

When a woman is into you, there is a whole other dance that goes on. The mystery is savored as is the slow discovery process. On both sides. And there are things about herself that she won't want to forthrightly reveal. Not so fast.

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soupmastwr · 2023-11-30T18:51:13+00:00

Does this kind of thing happen with friends with benefit relationships?

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-11-30T22:03:15+00:00

Now, is the friendzone a direct result of being an emotional tampon? OR is being an emotional tampon a symptom of being friendzoned?

Both.

The friendzone being an existing condition comes into play when she is just starting the leaning on you with her problems. Generally speaking of you have a long term friendship, your probably already in the friendzoned and very little is going to help you. However, just starting out, most women do not want to share their emotional problems with guys that they are interested in, so by letting her continue you are letting her view you as "just a friend".

Being an emotional support man is fine as long as the two of you have a romantic connection, as that's what partners do.

However, without that preexisting connection, you aren't going to woo most women, and the more she confides in you the more she is not going to want to lose the relationship (non romantic) that she has with you.

Fundamentaly, as a guy you need to be aware of what you want and don't let other people exploit you for their own gain. If you like someone and generally care about their well being and enough to want to be with them, you are actually semi-romantically connected to them and shouldn't act on your romantic actions unless they have demonstrate the same feelings.

chocobolamo · 2023-12-01T00:15:50+00:00

if you dont tease her, neg her, flirt with her, touch her, and just be the nicest best friend who will inevitably declare his love for her she will keep you at a distance because its not assertive or confident to sit on the sidelines and hope she makes a move. She can see if you are attracted to her within a moment of meeting you just through body language. You aren't hiding anything...

Rip the bandaid off and get yourself rejected right away. Its desperate and sad to sit and wait.

philseven12 · 2023-12-01T09:17:18+00:00

i don’t let women vent to me without the understanding that im not listening for the sake of listening

apresonly · 2023-12-01T19:07:42+00:00

i would never, ever, ever associate w a man who uses "emotional tampon" as a phrase

MrBrittle · 2023-12-01T21:52:36+00:00

Being emotionally absorbent is the consequence of the friendzone, not the cause.

The reason is that you have a good personality, but you are not physically attractive enough to her, nor are you so ugly that she doesn't even want to be friends with you.

The guy in the friend zone is also the one who is seen as "husband material" for the future, if the woman is over 30 single or has children from another guy.

Title	Does being an emotional tampon lead to the friendzone? Or only in certain cases?
Author	Consistent-Gur6932
Upvotes	15
Comments	172
Date	November 30, 2023 3:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/187lqkv/does_being_an_emotional_tampon_lead_to_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-being-an-emotional-tampon-lead-to-the.1239706 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239706

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