As a man who is above average height and looks so can truly see how being nice vs being selfish /fuckboy affects treatment. There is simply no reason to be selfless at best it’s neutral (rarely), most of the time you are pegged as a weak man and mistreated.

My experience if you let women feel insecure, rarely comfort them never chase, don’t care and dgaf about being extremely emotionally hurtful. You get nothing but respect, far better results in attracting hot women and little effort expended. She will chase your validation hard, when you make her feel worthless she craves you more and just lashes out at one of her chump nice guy orbiters to make herself feel better.

Because I long ago was that guy being the nice friend who has never once done her wrong always loyal and selfless. Literally had a woman cry and say”I’m sorry I have no idea why I was so abusive, you’ve never done wrong to me”. It’s because you’re the punching bag they don’t respect and lash out at when the guy they chase hurts them, I’ve seen the messages when I became that guy.

When You’re the headstrong confident guy who doesn’t care about her and lets her know it, you never get that treatment. Women come to you for validation, they never disrespect you. Instead they’re always hesitating and apologizing and judging themselves “oh I know I sound stupid” “I hate my x you don’t mind my z do you?”

As a guy there is simply no reason to say yes to women if they ask you to do something like slave for them “help me pack I’m moving” that actually means she doesn’t respect you. She just made it easier to bang the guy she really wants.

Because when a woman’s chasing you and you’re not giving her time she is hesitant to bother you, she wants to validate YOU by doing things for YOU not the other way round. She’s more likely to brag to the guy she’s banging (yes this happened) “hey apathetic, look what I had this loser do for me”.

Being nice is thoroughly beaten out of a lot of us men. If you do kind things for women and express pleasure doing it you will be seen as weak. Women have a high ick factor and weak men give them revulsion some women will literally give you abuse because they can’t help it in their teens and twenties. It’s like a kid instinctively splattering a peaceful bee.

Men get told well women that chase arrogant guys who let them wallow insecurity are immature, and to not think of it.

But the time of our lives most centred around having fun is our teens to mid twenties when people are in their prime. That’s an admission that women during the entire time it matters are chasing the qualities we are told are immoral.

People say that yet if you are not sexually active you’re seen as a loser. But people will grudgingly respect you if you seem to have a lot of women into you despite being selfish.

People complain about sluts vs playboys. But it’s simple. When you hear a man has had 400 partners vs a woman. What would you guess if your life depended on it? The man is either, very rich, a celebrity or famous persons or Casanova. The woman? She likely was doing sex work/pornography or has some kind of issues.

So why would you choose to be a chump. One gets you respect and proper treatment even slavish behaviour from attractive women, one leaves you disrespected getting the worst side of women. Admittedly only trashy women do this, classy women are kind in my experience but why would a beautiful classy woman be plentiful. I let one like that get away, they’re single like 3 months their entire lives, boyfriend at 17 for 6 years, another for 5 then married and kids. Maybe a few join the dating market later and only an idiot like me takes her for granted and dumps her.

I think everything about the current dating scene is why guys like me have no incentive to become selfless again or be kind and uplifting. It pays far more to let women be emotionally hurt and wallow in insecurity.

I admit it hurts me as a guy seeing how I have to sit there and listen to a perfectly nice and pretty woman say “I feel ugly” “I don’t like my x” and it’s better to not even hide my annoyance at her whining and accept her self degradation. Because when past I would put my energy into uplifting such a woman, telling her she’s beautiful and saying “no you’re beautiful” it’s like you get punished and your attraction has less power for not letting her feel less than you.

I think people would be surprised by how many “unempathetic” and “emotionally distant” bad boys started out as selfless men who were extremely romantic and wanted to always give love but found they only got far more occurrences of ill treatment, disrespect and loss of attraction. I admit there were rare cases where I attracted a woman by being as truly loving and selfless as possible but it was far outweighed by negatives, it’s not worth the effort.

My final point. It makes no sense for women to complain about men being emotionally distant and engaging in emotionally hurtful behaviours when that is what is rewarded. Being selfless and kind is evokes revulsion in women. Nothing makes you feel uglier than the look or a woman degrading you when you were only kind. Whereas being a bad boy, women always act right and will constantly try and please you, they’ll fall in line to feel less than you and seek your approval.