Wife wanting a divorce

BlackFire68 · 2024-03-13T21:11:26+00:00

It’s usually over when the wife uses the word.

robertstone123456 · 2024-03-06T15:09:46+00:00

Sorry brother, but she’s been checked out for at least a year. More bad news, she might be with her mom, but don’t think she’s waking up, going to work, then back to her moms and in bed by 8pm. She’s banging another guy and having a laugh at your expense, so please do not beg her to come home or to work things out, that will only give her more power over you. If she wants to work things out, it’s only because things didn’t work out with the new guy and has you as a fall back plan, until a new guy comes in, and the pattern starts over again.

Fatbatman1281 · 2024-03-05T16:11:36+00:00

Don’t save her, she don’t want to be saved.

Efficient-Mango7708 · 2024-03-04T12:34:45+00:00

That was me six months ago. Divorce was finalized last week. Someone posted a link here about how women think about relationships like men think about jobs, a means to an end. You are no longer providing what she wants emotionally, physically, financially or a combination of all three.

Move on. For me, I had to actually focus more on feeling anger as a way to motivate myself into action. Don’t stay in a victim mentality or deal with thoughts telling yourself if you’re not I had done x or why for too long. A time for reflection is a little later in the process.

It hurts but as my friend said, you are now the sole commander of the ship. Revel in that position.

valiantanonymous · 2024-03-04T08:19:04+00:00

Tell her you would like to have some clarification in life. That if she wants a divorce that you guys should make it happen, because you can't live your life in uncertainty. Tell her you love her and don't want to get divorced and that you're willing to try counseling to work on whatever made her want to leave. But that if she is certain she wants a divorce that you then don't want to live this way any longer.

I feel like the fact she hasn't taken any steps could be a sign that she expects you to fix the problem.

Ok-Raccoon2757 · 2024-03-04T03:14:26+00:00

Do you have kids? If not then can her ass and move on with your life. Life is too short

Cvdiva · 2024-03-04T03:04:26+00:00

Let her go. I didn’t do that crap either cause when it’s over and you don’t want it to work, leave it alone

Commercial-Rub-3223 · 2024-03-04T00:33:09+00:00

If she physically cheated on you with someone else let her go.

silmarp · 2024-03-03T23:14:17+00:00

First things first Never do the pick me dance. It never works and it's known not to work since the first time it was tried thousands of years ago. Don't try to win her back.

Go grey rock and o the 180. I know it's strange but she is very likely with another dude.

Affairs are based on fantasy and marriages are based on reality, reality will never stand up to fantasy. Furthermore, fantasy doesn't even have to make sense so no point on trying.

Create an account at another bank direct deposit goes there. Take all the money from joint accounts divorce is business and business is war.talk to a lawyer first thing tomorrow the lawyer will tell you what to do. Reconciliation is outside the table convince yourself of this. Try and convince her to let you have most things in divorce even if you have to sugarcoat you words. Be shameless. Also if you state allows you should have a car with you and cameras at the house because she might file a false protective order against you.

Stonewall6789 · 2024-03-03T20:18:02+00:00

Bro, it’s over. While she may have been thinking about it for 6 months, she’s been checked out probably closer to a year. Yes, it sucks, it sucks big time, but her mind is made up and she’s not changing it unless things fall through with the new guy. Yes, we all can guarantee there is a new guy, maybe not in a relationship, but she’s definitely sleeping with someone else. And, if your texting her to work things out and how much you love her, blah blah blah, she is just sharing it with the new guy and having a good laugh at your expense. He’s probably having her read the text or play the voicemails of you begging her to work things out while he’s doing her from behind.

Again, it sucks, and she has had a year to prepare emotionally, which is why she didn’t care to go help you. But if there’s a joint account, move your direct deposit into a new account in your name only, preferably at a different bank. Because if she decides to withdraw all the money from the joint account, there is NOTHING the bank can do to stop her, it doesn’t matter if your name is on the direct deposit, she’s on the account and has equal power as you. Working in the financial industry, I see it happen ALL the time.

Remarkable_Egg492 · 2024-03-03T18:24:03+00:00

Yeah mine screamed the word multiple times over the course of a month. When I filed she was actually surprised. She's probably just being a spoiled bitch, but at least she's living at her parents and not squatting in your home.

My advice to you is to fall out of love with her quickly. My guess is that she's going to want to reconcile once she realizes she's alone, but that's just a guess.

When I make my decisions I make them final. My wife offered me a chance to work it out after I filed and I laughed in her face and said absolutely not, I'm not wasting any more time with you.

BabyYoda55 · 2024-03-03T17:24:29+00:00

It stings, but she doesn’t want you anymore. Time to file!

BlackFire68 · 2024-03-03T16:34:26+00:00

Once the wife uses the word the bell has rung. Move ahead.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-03-03T15:35:20+00:00

Figure out if you can make it work and be happy at the same time. Do all to save your marriage, and if not, start the process of divorce. Happiness is not overrated.

Orthanon · 2024-03-03T14:58:38+00:00

Start the paperwork and file. The relationship has been dead to her for months. Protect yourself and your kids.

pharmd718 · 2024-03-03T14:32:30+00:00

Every man here is telling you to file for divorce. All these men have a lot more experience than you. If you do not put your feelings aside and do what’s best for you, you will endure many years of pain.

azus2013 · 2024-03-03T14:12:24+00:00

Hello guys, Pls I need help and guidance. I am going through a very difficult time. On Feb 13 me and my wife got in an argument for the space in kitchen pantry. The argument escalated. I mentioned that I am going to police record this incident Abt the argument episode. While I was in drive to police station she called police from her car and let the dispatcher know that I am trying to kill her. The police charged me with 1.assault with d/dw 2. Assault house hold 3. Intent to commit crime. Since then I have not been able to go back home she got RO against me for 1year. I got Divorce attorney and the court gave me a court appointed defense attorney for a criminal. I am so scared fory life and career. In my married relationship for 12 years I have never ever lifted a finger on my wife and now I am in this situation. I do not know what to do from here. I do not have kids only jt asset is house where me and my wife have equal contributions. Please guide me. I am scared for my life and I have my elderly parents to look after they are my dependent. Thank you

bk2747 · 2024-03-03T07:47:39+00:00

Go see a divorce attorney tomorrow and get ahead of the game. File as the plaintiff.

FollowingDesigner275 · 2024-03-03T04:48:01+00:00

Bro. She is gone. And don’t try to get her back. The more you try the worst it is. I speak from experience I promise. Work on you she will see and if she wants to come back better you better for the relationship. Don’t chase her anymore.

judasholio · 2024-03-03T04:20:29+00:00

Once the D-word is dropped, no longer treat her like your wife. The rules of engagement have changed, and it is time to treat your relationship like a business that you are in the process of divesting from.

Do everything you can to protect your assets, your home, anything of sentimental value, and especially access to your children.

Get a pocket recorder, and record everything at all times around her.

Get to know your state laws on recording, phone calls, and make sure all communication is either recorded, or done on the record, such as email.

False allegations are nearly impossible to overcome if you cannot prove yourself innocent. Learn about some thing, called the Silver Bullet playbook, and anticipate accusations.

Much love to you, brother. Divorce is hell on men.

Theedon · 2024-03-03T04:09:51+00:00

You file for the divorce before she does and move on. There are no Fairy Tail endings here. Just family court and a ton of wasted money on lawyers.

If your kids ask why. Tell them that sometimes adults don't see eye to eye and it is best for everyone for them to go their separate ways. No one is at fault. It just happens.

stacksmasher · 2024-03-03T01:17:39+00:00

Let the bitch go! And don’t ever make the mistake of letting her return!

CrazySanta7 · 2024-03-03T00:46:08+00:00

Women don't initiate separation/divorce to sit at their mom's knitting blankets and going to bed at 8:00 p.m. Whether you believe this now or find out later.....she is testing the waters with a new guy. You are plan B if things fall through. 'Not my wife' is what most say until they find out later. You chasing, wanting to 'talk it out' is giving her the validation that you need her. This is not a game, but you have to turn your 'i don't give a f' meter way up. You don't talk to her unless it's about kids (if you have them). You don't beg, plead, show her 'changes', etc. Get reconciliation out of your brain, it's o-v-e-r. It's not easy and can take months/years to get through the process. She has morned the death of the marriage already, and now you start that process. Good luck.

henrysmyagent · 2024-03-03T00:39:45+00:00

This is an act of relationship-terrorism that has only one good counter-move, file for divorce.

You can't keep a woman who threatens to leave.

Give in to her terroism, and there will be no end to her demands.

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2024-03-03T00:28:46+00:00

The best thing is to call her bluff, file first. If she's just spouting nonsense, she'll want counseling. The power rests with you when she realizes she doesn't control the situation anymore.

rsmiley77 · 2024-03-02T23:15:37+00:00

As my therapist told me…. She’s been thinking about it much longer than that….

Either of three things happen from here:

1) she only threatens to get her way. You change your behavior and give her what she wants and you maintain what will be for you a miserable marriage.

2) she actually carries through with it even as you try your hardest to be this ‘husband’ she claims you’re not. It starts with behavior changes and new friends. Ultimately she will likely find a cheater partner. Will blame you for where she is in her life and be bitter while going through the divorce process.

3) you don’t listen to her gaslighting and manipulation and be the man you always hoped to be. If she doesn’t like it she doesn’t like it.

Basically when women start threatening divorce it’s a game they’re playing. No matter how you play you’ll lose so don’t play in the first place. Be above it.

gudachi · 2024-03-02T23:06:15+00:00

Most women always have a plan b. He probably got promoted.

sicrm · 2024-03-02T22:51:54+00:00

if they mention something like they feel you guys are drifting apart and want to try counseling, that’s one thing.

but if they just want to things without making any suggestions, you could okay then get up, leave, and look into next steps.

gudachi · 2024-03-02T22:46:16+00:00

Sounds like NDS, and it's uncurable.

_uCanDoBetterBrO_ · 2024-03-02T22:42:39+00:00

Silence, leave her the fuck alone. If you think it’s serious start preparing yesterday and contact an attorney. Money that you spend right now will be considered marital, credit debt will be used as part of the settlement, go get ya something nice. Sorry bud, been there and it’s hard but you will be better off sooner than you could ever imagine. They check out long before they decide to tell you. Counseling is a long shot in my experience but I’m sure it helps some couples. Don’t give up on your marriage if you want it but you need to protect yourself. Sorry man, good luck!

Title	Wife wanting a divorce
Author	CarpenterNo3430
Upvotes	22
Comments	122
Date	March 2, 2024 10:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1b50luh/wife_wanting_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-wanting-a-divorce.1246930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246930

Comments