Having a female best friend is undoubtedly one of the reasons I have success with other girls.

Swede-speed-mead · 2022-05-17T16:04:59+00:00

Grown up introvert here. I actually noticed it easier to talk to women once I was in a relationship. I realized I had nothing to lose which then helped me become more extroverted/confident.

I will say that having a woman friend is very likely going to help your “game” as you can bounce ideas off of them without fear but really believing in yourself and just being yourself is the key to someone else’s heart if that’s the end goal.

You are what you are. Don’t put on a show to let someone down later revealed that you aren’t that at all.

KinxTheTimeStripper · 2022-05-17T17:12:04+00:00

Interesting. My mate said to me once ‘talk to women like they’re your mates, just have a laugh’

yourlittleman01 · 2022-05-17T09:48:05+00:00

In other words, I have to stop objectifying women to treat them as friends. Interesting....

sunsetgal24 · 2022-05-17T13:10:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sunsetgal24 · 2022-05-17T13:01:57+00:00

It's about treating women as people, not as sex/relationship objects. Women can tell when you don't see them as a person and of course they're not interested in you then.

Emmy-bby · 2022-05-17T09:44:56+00:00

This is good advice. Women a lot of times get treated like a prize something to win over when we just wanna be treated like a normal person, my husband has two friends that are girls he grew up with his mom and sister his dad passed when he was 17 so he got his roots from his dad and his mom taught him how to treat women.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-05-17T12:53:04+00:00

The responses on this thread can be summed up as: "why the fuck would you want to hang out with women, ewwww."

zexwyomom · 2022-05-17T13:36:01+00:00

I have a friend who has many girl friends. He’s very weak personality when it comes to seduction, he struggles to find partners. He’s extremely nice guy. Everyone friendzones him.

2022-05-17T14:58:24+00:00

I have a lot of female friends and can definitely agree

yennybear888 · 2022-05-17T15:32:03+00:00

If you’re female friend is attracted to you it will help. If she friendzoned you other women pick up on it right away and it will hurt

SocialReject101 · 2022-05-17T10:28:24+00:00

Not my case. My female "friends" only have criticized my pickiness and have openly sabotaged my pick ups or tried to hook me up with their low value lazy friends. That is why I don't have them anymore. And they were unrelated.

footstepsrh · 2022-05-18T01:33:57+00:00

Not terrible advice. Heck I wouldn’t mind a male friend who didn’t want sex.

SDdude81 · 2022-05-17T16:30:26+00:00

Over the years I've had many close female friends.

Hasn't helped me with dating at all.

MauPow · 2022-05-18T00:31:42+00:00

I've had a lot of really good female friends, still suck at dating

Electronic_Ant_7882 · 2022-05-18T05:11:08+00:00

Highly doubt that but ok

princesssbrooklynn · 2022-05-17T16:53:03+00:00

Right lmaooo cause imma date a man who’s best friend is his ex 🤣

willgo-waggins · 2022-05-17T20:11:50+00:00

All my life I have been tremendously successful with women.

I grew up with string female role models that showed the correct way to interact without playing games or abusing their partners and taught me and my brother to be good male partners.

Most of my closest friends are women. Most of the people I hang out with regularly are women.

My girl and I? Best friends as well as lovers. And we have many times said that no matter what happens between us romantically we will never not be the best of friends because everything about us is just naturally compatible and fits together.

One of my best friends of over a decade and a half? She’s an ex lover from when she and her husband were divorced (they got back together after she and I were and he’s aware of iur original relationship).

My other two best friends are both like additional sisters for me and in a lot of ways closer than my sisters. Both are platonic and there is no sexual desire or weirdness.

It works fine and it is incredibly beneficial. Guys who say otherwise are young/immature or have issues from bad experience that they done work through and instead hate/want women.

Select-Radish9245 · 2022-05-17T15:23:09+00:00

Judging by your username I don't think that you have any success with other girls

Okiter · 2022-05-17T14:37:26+00:00

Wish I could have done this, ended up having Oneitis for my female best friend, so we burned that bridge

wikipuff · 2022-05-17T15:13:31+00:00

I literally have the opposite. I have a female best friend and I have no success with other girls, at least in my home area.

Kevin26039898 · 2022-05-17T15:16:01+00:00

I had relations with females ( i don't see them as friends or lovers...) We talk about everything but I just avoid the friend zone in the end they reach the point that they fell in love with me I can see a girl as a person but no no i can not see them as friends

Ok-Dragonfruit-4318 · 2022-05-17T16:20:11+00:00

I can see it work to let go of the fear to approach women but after you let go of your fear you need to treat a girl you want romantically like a lover never a friend.

DeJuanBallard · 2022-05-17T19:17:38+00:00

It becomes a huge problem when you actually want to date someone tho.

ProductivityMonster · 2022-05-17T21:48:15+00:00

Honestly, very rare for a single guy to have a female best friend (unless he's gay). Most guys have more things in common with other men. Clearly you have a unique situation for how it happened (you were intimate before).

As a single guy, I genuinely don't want to hang out with a girl I wouldn't want to have sex with, or at the least they're at the very lowest priority. My sexual needs are first before plutonically befriending women. I won't rule it out and I do see the utility of remaining friendly with someone who rejected me to see if her friends might be interested in me, but it's extremely low on the priority list. The reality is only when guys get in a relationship do they start plutonically befriending women (mainly because they have little to lose (no risk of getting rejected) and their social circle expands to the girlfriend's friends).

I do see some minor benefits to talking with women more often, but that can easily be solved by frequently hitting on women (which is what you need to do as a single guy since it's a numbers game).

tldr; I'm sure OP's post will get a lot of upvotes but the reality is it's rather rare because of the reasons I described. Even OP is only in the situation because he was intimate with her before. There's little incentive to befriend women plutonically as a single guy.

throwaway125637 · 2022-05-17T22:01:37+00:00

was with you until the “mine is my ex btw”

Mamannn · 2022-05-17T23:48:48+00:00

How attractive are you tho, lol

Ragnarok992 · 2022-05-18T02:40:18+00:00

Can i borrow your ex?

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-05-18T04:12:40+00:00

Also preselection and indicate you are not a murderer. Lol

AresuSothe · 2022-05-18T04:41:21+00:00

girls dont even like me as a friend.

StaticNocturne · 2022-05-18T05:12:05+00:00

Wouldn't this cause you to convey more platonic energy though?

MrBlack__ · 2022-05-18T08:38:24+00:00

But are you sleeping with these girls or just talking :/

Batfan3000 · 2022-05-17T12:46:14+00:00

I agree with this, I have a good group of friends with females in there I’ve gotten close with. Even when going out and another girl sees you with a cute they’ll put value on you and you and shoot your shot. Plus having a wingwomen is a plus

Economou · 2022-05-17T15:12:54+00:00

This worked wonders for me too. I would constantly be introduced to their friends and helped me learn to build rapport. Keen advice!

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-05-17T13:38:19+00:00

It's 100% true. If you end up loving them know it's because you have a lot of love to give and you're a loving person.

DoodoaX · 2022-05-17T12:21:12+00:00

I’m glad that it’s working for you but I would argue that you are an exception to the rule. Having a lot of female friends especially a best friend will hurt more dudes in the long run.

Most girls are socially receptive and can tell if the girl you’re with got you friendzoned or not. And, you mentioned that this chick is your ex so you’ve already had some sort of sexual history with her. Guarantee you your results change if you replace her with someone who friendzones you off rip.

150420throwaway · 2022-05-17T14:18:42+00:00

How do I find more people and ideally women to either befriend or date? That’s my last hurdle, just getting myself out there.

Teleppath · 2022-05-17T16:48:45+00:00

I worked in a female dominant field and they shaped me in ways I needed. I was very ignorant of my social impact and communication fallacies.

shahin777 · 2022-05-17T22:04:38+00:00

Nice advice. But last time I had a close female friend, things didn’t go well! I really appreciate the fact that it was helping me to improve my social skills since I’m a foreigner in the country and trying to adopt and understand the culture. Although we were just friends, I started to feel humiliated and disrespected after a while and had to tell her I can’t be her friend no more. I was helping her to join me at my gym and do more activities by taking her out for hikes and bringing her into my social circle. But she always wanted to make everything sexual. For example I introduced her to my friend and the next time she would ask me how big is his penis. Or she tell me about many dudes he ran through and the detail of their sex. She didn’t have any. Lose female friends but many guys were texting her all the time! She has a BF from other state and they see each other every month almost. But she is actively play around and love the attentions from dudes. Basically I was her emotional tampon. I helped her when she needed to talk or massages her back when she needed someone to hold on to. But when I was hurt after sport and needed some massage she would act like it’s cheating to touch me!

Ryzasu · 2022-05-17T22:11:57+00:00

How do you get a female best friend?

snowcroc · 2022-05-18T00:16:02+00:00

The problem is for that one girl you do like. The stakes are so much higher. And if you guys were friends people and they don’t feel the same way they may pull away and that shit hurts.

It’s really a individualistic experience

Strange-Committee-55 · 2022-05-18T03:05:09+00:00

Good for you. But side note I have 3 sisters and I’m still bad with women 😢

Orange11a · 2022-05-18T04:01:07+00:00

For me u can't imagine being friends with someone who doesn't have some sort of sexual appeal towards me. No thank you go find another gay best friend.

One girl low key disrespected me. She offered to pay for my 70 dollar meal after insisting i finally gave in and let her pay. She tried giving me sympathy when I talked about my problems. I wasn't even into her but the moment I found out one of my guy friends was fucking this girl in the daily I was pissed how she treated me like a platonic genuine friend all while being madly in love with one of my friend who is a player. I had to ghost her, she was a good friend but no I can't be around women who aren't into me.

The_Sneak_Attack · 2022-05-18T05:29:37+00:00

I tried right, really did thought I was safe with a woman Iv known for 2 years and was going to be the groomsman for her husband who I’m also friends with until she decided to try and fuck me when I was intoxicated

Taiyella · 2022-05-18T06:22:49+00:00

Once they find out your female best friend is your ex you’re going to lose them all

Dapper-Job9042 · 2022-06-09T20:33:13+00:00

This is so wild to me.

I have a lot of girl friends and several close girl friends, but damn did it ever help me with talking to women.

blessedwiththecurse · 2022-06-16T09:43:39+00:00

This is 100% facts! I have a few platonic friendships with girls and some I take out with me as social proof and they are well aware of it and don’t mind because they’re looking to have a good time aswell

Ploikblah · 2022-05-17T12:42:02+00:00

How do you even go about making a female friend? I've always struggled with this

Otherwise_Cattle5111 · 2022-05-17T12:55:38+00:00

Correction: wingwoman

7Birdies · 2022-05-17T15:24:40+00:00

Very true

2022-05-18T04:07:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RPslimjim · 2022-05-17T16:37:34+00:00

She’s not your best friend. You just want t fuck her.

getyahfuckingyeeted · 2022-05-17T14:19:09+00:00

I mean yeah, it helps but not if you're socially awkward and shy in general

mlo519 · 2022-05-17T22:15:42+00:00

Bestie? How old are you lmao

2022-05-17T15:53:38+00:00

You do know your “female bestie” has feelings for you, right?

Orange11a · 2022-05-17T12:14:57+00:00

Whatever you say bud

2022-05-17T17:01:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jordan20x1 · 2022-05-17T12:15:34+00:00

Meh lol

dheidjdedidbe · 2022-05-17T13:29:51+00:00

In my case it goes like this “he has girl friends? That means I will also only see him as a friend”

HighFunctioningADD · 2022-05-17T15:49:18+00:00

Time to go friend zone the woman I've been dating, to then go and date hotter woman

Glass_Discipline_468 · 2022-05-18T14:37:32+00:00

It speaks volumes to the type of guys in this sub when no one realizes this is a troll.

Female bestie.

Lmao, nice one.

Rathernotusername · 2022-05-17T14:32:51+00:00

So nice to acknowledge to having 0 female friends

Acid_In_My_Eyes · 2022-05-17T15:54:40+00:00

well yeah

Then-Compote6185 · 2022-05-17T16:02:41+00:00

That's so cap, I have only sisters and shit don't work like that.

bjjkaril1 · 2022-05-17T14:29:48+00:00

Ok, but where are good places to meet women for friendship only reasons? I hear dance classes are pretty good, but any other places? I feel like yoga class would be weird. Not a lot of other activities I can think of.

ateyourgrandmaa · 2022-05-17T18:09:57+00:00

He is telling us to have a girl best friend in order to a get a girlfriend. Seems fair.

l039 · 2022-05-17T18:11:58+00:00

You should show your female friend this post

Affectionate-Web · 2022-05-17T18:55:56+00:00

A woman is always a better wingman than a dude. You could go with an not good looking one and treat her like a queen that draws a certain type of female and a super hot chick will draw another but don’t look like her bitch you should appear dismissive of her attention seeking behavior this draws a certain type of woman as well but which wingwoman draws what? In general if your with another female your “safe” not creepy and you are “in” with anyone she knows for sure but other woman as well. A dude you look like creepy jerks looking for a one night side. Maybe you are but if your with another girl that’s overlooked by most women. Your method is good but don’t bring your ex as wing person if any other female knew that you would have almost zero chance with any woman with ab ounce of self respect lol

timetobbetter · 2022-05-17T19:49:21+00:00

Question: so do you guys ever go out to clubs together? I’m currently FWB with my ex and we’re in the process of checking off boxes of each other’s sexual wants/fantasies/kinks/basically exploring the realm of sex without having to worry about the other person judging them in a relationship environment… Not sure if this is healthy but I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as neither of us get feelings. Which we have communicated “if either party gets feelings at ANY point. We stop”

Apprehensive-Shift71 · 2022-05-17T20:33:10+00:00

Okay, so girls can be some of the best wingwomen when they want to because, it's much easier for them to number close. Similarly it's easy for them to become friends and get you a second meeting

throwaway808636 · 2022-05-17T20:46:40+00:00

R u still attracted to your bestie

2022-05-17T20:47:36+00:00

My ex is my close friend too actually I can confirm this is true LOL

2022-05-17T20:57:16+00:00

Lol I have a sister and she hates my guts so I guess it depends

noodleheadnat · 2022-05-17T21:15:09+00:00

24F I have 3 longterm guy best friends (plenty of girl best friends too don’t call me a pickme smh) but I’m still trash at getting dates

CoolKid2326 · 2022-05-17T22:00:04+00:00

honestly this sounds very risky and wouldn't work for most guys. i think this works for u bcuz she's ur ex. what im reading is u have a good relationship with ur ex. and u think most girls feel comfortable that ur ex is ur best friend? if my SO's best friend is their ex im not cool with that

ExtremeNihilism · 2022-05-17T23:08:59+00:00

I have no problem talking to my female friends. The problem is, they are NOT representative of your average woman. I have to dumb myself down with most women other than my ex, my friend in Ohio, and my amazing Aussie friend.

2022-05-17T23:09:59+00:00

I Donno why, but the women I chase end up declining me. And the women I friendzone end up falling for me. Why is that?

Selfish-Bell · 2022-05-18T05:49:29+00:00

Tried to explain this to my ex 🚮

ilovefootball49 · 2022-05-18T07:55:35+00:00

I have a female friend and she gives terrible dating advice.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-05-18T14:13:09+00:00

It's just an attraction switch. Called social proof. She's attractive and she likes you for a reason so if she has a reason to like you then you're probably a good option or you also used to be a good option. I also used this a lot if I hang out with other girls and other girls see me, it always helps so valid point

2022-05-19T02:02:41+00:00

Still need to follow rules 1 and 2 first. Half of my best friends are women. This has never influenced how rules 1 and 2 work.

This only helps if you’re saying cringey incel shit in front of women instead of keeping that between your bros - and that is literally your only reason for fucking up.

tanujtxt · 2022-06-04T20:45:57+00:00

Being around hot girls is a currency, Not having bestie's. I have plenty of girls I'm dating/dicking and that helps a lot with understanding females. Go out and actually have dates lead to something consistently, it'll teach you much more. I would never ever waste time on a girl I'm not romantically interested in unless that's work/family.

2022-06-08T23:20:11+00:00

So talking to women like they’re human and not cock sleeves actually helps? I’m absolutely shocked.

Due_Syrup_6567 · 2022-06-09T10:40:17+00:00

If you have good intentions yeah its a direct line into the way a female thinks in some senses however not all females are the same so good luck with that and enjoy being able to do what it is your thinking you have an advantage in.

Clawsforhands · 2022-06-09T16:45:16+00:00

YES.

Rayyyofmoonlight · 2022-06-12T01:04:22+00:00

Late to the party but PLEASE for fucks sake stop calling us FeMaLeS 😩

Title	Having a female best friend is undoubtedly one of the reasons I have success with other girls.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1268
Comments	315
Date	May 17, 2022 9:08 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uribsk/having_a_female_best_friend_is_undoubtedly_one_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/having-a-female-best-friend-is-undoubtedly-one-of.1259411 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259411

Comments