Changed my "job," got a great response.

legendofpasta · 2012-04-12T14:18:33+00:00

This is a card I need to learn to play. I'm actually an accountant. Bitches don't love accountants...

Alienmonkey · 2012-04-12T15:26:06+00:00

.... In other news, several online dating sites noticed a significant uptick in male clients listing "Spy" or "Secret Agent" as their career in April.

This was followed in May by a wave of "Ninjas".

(Full disclosure, I've used ninja in the past - works well with girls that take themselves too seriously)

PolishedIvory · 2012-04-12T16:30:17+00:00

No matter what response you give, she really doesn't care what you do. Silence is scientifically uncomfortable for people to deal with, so they fill gaps in conversation with trite, boring questions like where were you born, where do you work, where did you go to school, etc.

So you tell her you're a spy, she laughs a little. Tell her you're an accountant and she qualifies you based on what she thinks your income bracket is.

Both of these are poor options.

Instead, use a technique to redirect the question back to her. At the same time, keep some mystery about yourself by not answering every question she asks you like a job interview.

Use this technique to redirect and re-frame:

"Oh, but I'm sure you don't care about my job... sure, it pays the bills, but it's not who I am on the inside. I'm more interested in what you're passionate about. When you're not at your job, what takes up most of your time? What do you fantasize about doing when you're not working at your 'normal' job, Samantha?"

Bonus: When you say "what do you fantasize about doing..." she will more than likely think about sex first, and then some other hobby second. The point here is that she is not her job, she is her hobby. Get the conversation back to THAT. There is plenty of time to reveal more about yourself later, on date 10. ;-)

Be interesting by being interested.

AdmanUK · 2012-04-12T16:08:52+00:00

'I work in HR' Just became assassin.

boethius_tcop · 2012-04-13T00:24:13+00:00

I'm a professional twice over: an analyst and a therapist.

callmedood · 2012-04-12T14:43:42+00:00

I'm a med student, I sometimes want to use the pornstar/spy job description because I think when I say med-student I'm put into a BF-material list a lot of the time and girls will want to go out on a date but wont let me K-close them on the dancefloor. Next time I'm out I'll use that (spy), and see how it goes.

migvelio · 2012-04-12T16:51:34+00:00

Was having a blast with this girl at a bar one time. Made a running joke out of her question what I was studying. My first answer was "DRUGS" with my eyes spread open like a cooped up coke fiend.

For some reason she couldn't stop laughing at this. After that I would go talk to someone else and return to her saying "I'm sorry I lied to you before, I'm actually studying Manipulative Theories".

Did that a couple of times, saying things like "Hey can I get your order?" while chugging down a shot, or "Excusez-moi, je suis un étudiant de Paris. Je suis en Erasmus et je cherche une belle fille."

The next morning when she asked what I was studying I replied "Sexuology, it's a minor in Psychology".

sithyiscool · 2012-04-12T16:26:11+00:00

Ted Mosby - Architect.

But in all seriousness, EVERYONE must have something that can make ppl laugh when you tell them what you do. If you straight up just tell them what you do in a boring manner you are missing out on SO MUCH FLIRTING. I do all of my work in a cubical, so I have plenty of ways to tell that or make ppl laugh.

I.e.,

I work in a cubical, but I switched my chair for a big bouncy ball

I get paid to surf on facebook and the internet. I've seen the entire internet

Id say in a given week, I do about fifteen minutes of real actual work (hell once I say I work in a cubical I can usually just spout nonstop office space quotes)

I do blah blah blah blah. Well, that and make copies for my boss bc he doesn't know how to use the machine.

Sleep. A lot. It's rough to fill 8 hours.

"I really don't know what I do... I just show up and they keep paying me"

atafies · 2012-04-12T18:16:39+00:00

Any ideas for college students? I always get the "what are you studying"... honesty is never interesting in this case...

Leelluu · 2012-04-12T15:41:13+00:00

I find it better to describe what I do rather than state my job title. When I tell people, "I'm a PS (Professional Services) and PMO (Project Management Office) Operations Analyst," I am met with blank stares.

When I tell people, "I am in charge of yelling at people," (my job is to audit people to make sure they're following procedure - THEY ARE NOT) it both explains what I actually do and gets a smile.

wanking_the_monkey · 2012-04-12T16:38:57+00:00

nice one. How can one make 'I'm an engineer' sound exciting?

saint_nothing · 2012-04-12T17:04:47+00:00

The ladies love theoretical physicists.

Warlizard · 2012-04-12T17:25:16+00:00

I told a girl that I owned a company that refilled professional bowling balls.

simpleseddit · 2012-04-12T19:09:19+00:00

This is actually a really great one. After the inevitable, "So you're a spy, huh?"

You can shrug and be like, "Well I didn't say I was a good one." or "Yes, I'm attempting to learn to blend in with you Americans." Inside joke, and there's lots of ways to run with that.

TurningItIntoASnake · 2012-04-13T02:21:08+00:00

"Oh me? I'm a pickup artist"

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-04-12T15:37:10+00:00

I'm a lion tamer.

sam34gtr · 2012-04-12T16:17:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

canadian_stig · 2012-04-12T17:11:04+00:00

What do you do for a living?

I'm a bum.

Disclaimer: I'm usually dressed in a suit.

Styles_Stewart · 2012-04-12T17:11:25+00:00

If you care about this aspect I think you are already playing with a losing hand somewhat...what does it matter what job you have, pennyless bartenders can get ladies, how is being a pretty baller job (an accountant) going to negatively affect you?

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2012-04-12T17:18:03+00:00

A chick I was trying to pick up pulled that on me the other day...said she was a ninja. Looking back, it really kept me wondering about her.

ffunyman · 2012-04-12T17:39:34+00:00

I have a very unexciting job where I delivery product to convenience stores, one of those products is milk. So I just say I'm a milkman.

omarlittle5 · 2012-04-12T19:43:25+00:00

I usually say "I make money sweetheart, enough for a movie and extra sour patches"

irvinestrangler · 2012-04-12T22:24:01+00:00

Love it. I use to tell girls I'm a Vietnam Vet (I'm 27 years old) and then told them an elaborate and animated story from the war. It always gets good responses. I'm going to throw your Spy into the mix.

SlayerXZero · 2012-04-13T01:57:08+00:00

I did this with my current girlfriend when we first met. It's definitely my go to line. I'm glad it works out for you.

Another one my buddy has used quite a bit is he's (1) A male escort and (2) a stripper. For those two he uses a very sarcastic tone but uses it as an excuse to show off his abs and get chicks to touch / feel him up. He'll then throw in something like "It's not fair you're doing all of the touching"

cliftonixs · 2012-04-13T03:52:46+00:00

I was in a hotel with this girl in LA. Going up to my room we made out in the elevator, we then both heard a noise in the elevator without thinking I tell here that someone is following us, that i'm not who I say I am, as soon as the doors open, I grab her hand, step out of the elevator, and we began to sneak around the halls. We both turned the corner and the hotel maid was there, she looked at is. I turned to my girl and yelled RUN! I grab her and and pull her around the corner. we both run around and we hid in the ice bucket machine room, made out some more, made it to the safety of my room, and did our crazy thang! She loved every minute of it.

IAmTheOmNom · 2012-04-12T14:25:26+00:00

Cool. I am also thinking of doing this. But never had the guts/forget it all the time.

I'm sure it's funnier to say that I'm a hacker than just saying I'm an IT guy.

wave_hello · 2012-04-12T15:25:51+00:00

I feel that stating the "formal name" of your job is boring and lazy on your part and that's what causes dissinterest in the girl and or person you're talking to. Instead, give a nice twist to the same job. For example, I'm an electronics engineer and work at a company that owns 8 small hydroelectric power plants. Still sounds kinda cool to some people, but I won't usually say it like that; instead I say something like: "Oh, I trek through jungles with a machete and like finding nice rivers to swim in". Something like that :)

IAmTheOmNom · 2012-04-12T16:40:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SnowRidin · 2012-04-12T18:14:30+00:00

I've seen "Toothpick Repair Man" work on numerous occasions. Hilarious.

2012-04-12T17:35:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

makemebacon · 2012-04-12T15:47:28+00:00

I make the Internet so that people can have all those pictures of cute animals....and lolcats.

2012-04-12T18:30:56+00:00

I'm an air traffic controller and I think that's incredibly badass. Older Americans think it's cool and younger ones don't really know and don't care... but when I was in Munich for Oktoberfest, a was sat next to an Irish guy and some cute girls and when he asked he got wide eyed and excited and I think that helped give it value. I ended up getting an extremely hot brunette in a french maid lace/leopard print take on the female Bavarian folk dress hanging on me. I didn't close because I'm a chump.

lth5015 · 2012-04-12T18:50:15+00:00

Also, if you are a spy, the best way to throw someone off your scent is to tell them you're a spy a la Johnny Depp in Once Upon a Time in Mexico. No one expect honesty out of a spy.

2012-04-12T19:57:39+00:00

I use a similar tactic to break the ice with just about anybody. When they ask me what I do I usually say I am a pirate.

TheoreticalFunk · 2012-04-12T21:27:27+00:00

I've actually started something similar to this as I work for a fairly secretive company. What I do is fairly boring, but I've been saying "I work for X. Basically I work on top secret awesomeness all day."

oh_heeey_flip · 2012-04-12T21:28:15+00:00

One that I've loved to use in the past was that I was a Design Engineer for a men's diaper company. I've never not gotten laughs and IOIs with that one.

puaqueso · 2012-04-12T21:28:56+00:00

Great line. allows you to agree and amplify.

Another personal favorite of mine: "I sell futures on the moon"(especially relevant in NYC, where theres lots of finance dudes)

tigrenus · 2012-04-12T22:49:29+00:00

I figured I needed a business card, but my job doesn't provide one. Got 250 printed that just say "assassin" and has my name and number

rayquaza5000 · 2012-04-12T23:22:15+00:00

Her: Hope you find who you are looking for. You: Oh, I already have. winks

2012-04-13T00:32:15+00:00

I just say that I'm a diplomat. Oh wait, I'm a diplomat, silly me.

I'll show myself out.

lycosa2008 · 2012-04-13T02:07:00+00:00

great stuff glad it worked. Funny enough i was trying to improve on this yesterday. i believe its important because one of the first thing that pops out of their mouths is "so... what do you do?" - which is basically when they put you into the friend zone or boyfriend material zone

HerpDerp2229 · 2012-04-13T04:06:16+00:00

I do this all the time. The more zany (yes, I just used that word) the better.

A crab fisherman for Deadliest Catch A salami factory foreman Someone who kills people for the government Etc - Etc -

These are great because they're a perfect segueway into role-playing. If she's into it, gradually take it sexual. It also lets you work in plenty of kino, for example, if your a crab fisherman, showing her how to "cast nets" or whatever. Get creative!

ejpusa · 2012-04-13T23:11:01+00:00

Be alpha. Run into NYC girl. Have head ripped off. Repeat above. ;-) I love this town.

solonyc · 2012-04-12T19:12:45+00:00

What do you do for a living?

I say: "I work the bean station at Qdoba."

vorvesj · 2012-04-12T16:09:35+00:00

Do bitches like guys who are going into Linguistics?

[edit: since I'm getting downvoted, I suppose I should clarify, for the politically-correct inclined mind, that I use the term "bitches" not in a derogatory sense, but one of humor. Now, also in line with humor, I should like to say that off is the general direction in which I wish you would fuck. :)]

2012-04-12T19:20:09+00:00

My personal favorite answer is "Im a drug dealer".

Jarowland · 2012-04-12T19:40:24+00:00

Simple - I told one girl Well daily i kill a few people, hide bodies, the usual. Just wait a few seconds.. see how long her look of horror lasts and then said And after I finish playing assassins creed etc.

wdarea51 · 2012-04-12T22:00:43+00:00

What about spy's never tell someone that is actually what they do? I would say its a dead giveaway that you are not a spy by telling someone you are.

heyitslongdude · 2012-04-13T12:49:10+00:00

say you are a chef, instant win i promise

welcome2dc · 2012-04-12T17:29:42+00:00

As a person who works in a related field in DC, go to hell.

Changed my "job," got a great response.

Comments

YOU DECIDE, NOT HER.

Title	Changed my "job," got a great response.
Author	CraigRCarter
Upvotes	237
Comments	222
Date	April 12, 2012 2:13 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s66fu/changed_my_job_got_a_great_response/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/changed-my-job-got-a-great-response.1331221 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331221