Men need to start holding ourselves to a higher moral standard of decency

justdontsashay · 2025-03-08T16:52:14+00:00

There are plenty of good, decent men. There are plenty of shitty women.

Don’t tolerate shitty behavior with the people you know and care about, either call it out or don’t allow them in your life. But men just generally saying they think other men aren’t good enough (as opposed to directly calling out specific behavior when it happens, to the person doing it) doesn’t change anything, and comes off like virtue signaling.

Wise-Comedian-4316 · 2025-03-08T16:43:08+00:00

What? Most men hold themselves to basic moral standards already. And there is no male community anyway. You can't speak for or over another group of men just because you want to. Nor does some crimes committed by others matter to you

Ok_Information3286 · 2025-03-08T16:41:35+00:00

What do you mean exactly?

Lousykhakis · 2025-03-09T02:57:26+00:00

Buddy all you can do is take responsibility for your own actions. Stop trying to project shitty guys actions on everyone's actions.

Also, if you think that more men calling out shitty men would make a difference for our "collective reputation and image", you're quite wrong. People who choose to generalize on that broad of a scale would continue to do so even if the number of shitty behaving dudes out there was reduced to almost 0.

Good_Result2787 · 2025-03-08T16:42:34+00:00

I can only speak for myself, but I do my best to call it out when I am aware of it, though this is particular with people I know. If the problem persists then we likely become incompatible as friends. Admittedly I probably put less effort into this than perhaps is necessary, though I don't tend to surround myself with people who openly display what I consider lack of good moral fibre.

I tend to focus on maintaining or improving my own standard of character as a flawed person in need of much improvement, frankly.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-03-08T16:54:31+00:00

Saying is you want me to hold other men accountable but what happens when the other men decide separate themselves

Zabadoodude · 2025-03-08T17:07:31+00:00

It's mostly a problem online, because the people that are posting on social media all day long are usually not the most mature, well adjusted individuals. It's definitely not just, or even mostly, men, though. There's no shortage of terminally online women with the hottest of hot takes about men and anyone with opposing political beliefs.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-03-08T18:14:14+00:00

The rewards/benefits/incentives aren’t good enough

Pathosgrim · 2025-03-09T03:48:31+00:00

You have such a stupid stance. You're telling us men to keep other men in check in a world where moral decency is on the decline, in a world where decency is seen as a weakness in the eyes of men and women alike.

This must be an attempt to appease women who do not check their own selves in a world where they claim to hate patriarchy yet are always waiting at the finish line for the winner. The game is winner takes all, and being selfish is rewarded.

just_a_place · 2025-03-09T08:01:59+00:00

You are sure being the devil's advocate here: Advocating for that tired ass feminist narrative.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2025-03-09T13:46:52+00:00

silencing the bad ones

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Atrass · 2025-03-08T17:51:07+00:00

You are simply a victim of the male hating propaganda.

Men are amazing and it is a political choice to blame them for everything without praising them for what they are accomplishing on a daily basis.

Men are the one getting the nobel prizes, building the AIs, inventing and building civilization for the last 10.000 years.

They are the one who built the confort we currently enjoy.

Other species would love to have males as amazing as human males, but they don't and that's the reason why they live in the wild.

masterdarthrevan · 2025-03-08T17:26:41+00:00

uhhh im sorry im not responsible for the 5% of men that douchebags

G4M35 · 2025-03-08T16:52:29+00:00

Can you please give us some examples of these behavioral manifestations?

DGenerationMC · 2025-03-08T17:48:24+00:00

But isn't that all subjective?

So, do you mean men need to start holding themselves to a "higher moral standard" of YOUR idea of decency?

Because that's what it sounds like to me, OP.

wtknight · 2025-03-08T17:53:56+00:00

men can be good people, but we seem to really not give a crap about silencing the bad ones who take up a bulk of the male community's output speaking over a silent minority

Maybe it's because we believe more in freedom of speech?

As for men who actually act badly, that is why men have set up a criminal justice system.

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-03-08T18:14:17+00:00

There are different ways to respond to a bad situation. Some are counterproductive, others do reflect moral issues. I actually think most men have decent souls and the bad apples are in the minority. The same is true for women. Unfortunately a large segment of the population does not have critical thinking skills, they just drink the coolaid. In this there is a prevailing lack of empathy for men. This is shameful and speaks poorly for our kind.

growframe · 2025-03-08T19:48:44+00:00

I'm not responsible for other men. My business is mine, their business is theirs.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-03-08T21:12:55+00:00

As a man i keep on noticing how uncaring and often indulgent men are in malevolent behavior, and its really hurting our collective reputation and image.

Why should I care? Here's the thing that you don't seems to be aware feminism is propaganda and the propaganda deemed men as evil beings UNLESS they provide to women, so no matter what you do no matter how you try to change until you give everything women want and more we (not you) men will never get a good reputation.

Also you're flaired as purple pill so tell me what red pill position you defend.

Carbo-Raider · 2025-03-08T23:52:51+00:00

Men need to start holding ourselves to a higher moral standard

OK, this pisses me off.

START?

You gotta be young. In my 56 years, USA has been telling this to men. And men HAVE become more decent... with every generation.

i keep on noticing how uncaring and often indulgent men are

I think what you're noticing is just the last 6 years... It's a trend started by trump. It's just political. In real life, men are more decent than women, because women are never called out for bad behavior. I've been saying that women need to call out the extreme feminism because it has hurt themselves, and hurt the Democrat party.

I think some men see that being good got them no where.... So no more Mr Nice Guy.

According-Tea-3014 · 2025-03-08T16:50:42+00:00

None of this sounds like my problem lmao

mrcs84usn · 2025-03-08T16:53:59+00:00

Whoever she is, I hope she sees your post bro.

DenverKim · 2025-03-08T17:12:24+00:00

I agree and the same thing goes for some women. When men try to call each other out, they are accused of “white-knighting“ and when women try to call other women out, they are accused of being “pick me’s”.

It’s obnoxious and incredibly annoying. Both genders can be prone to toxic behavior and when all the good ones remain silent, it starts to feel like that’s all there is out there.

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2025-03-08T17:13:41+00:00

Oh wow, such great virtue!

Electric_Death_1349 · 2025-03-08T17:42:40+00:00

You’re advocating the wussification of men - being a “good” person only leads to you being abused and taken advantage of by others; we collectively need to do the exact opposite of what you propose

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-03-08T18:06:51+00:00

Here’s the problem:

A substantial enough portion of women reward the most immoral behavior you’ve ever seen to where it doesn’t necessarily serve men to uphold shit for other men.

Additionally, the women who do reward morality tend to be at a very specific place in life where they may not be the wisest choice to commit to.

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2025-03-08T19:57:10+00:00

Pathetic delusional post. The goalpost of being a good, moral man is constantly moving depending on the context. Women do not care about good men.

Men being good would not change anything, women would literally complain about point elbows if all men suddenly stopped being destructive. They have an intrinsic disposition towards negativity regardless of what is happening in their environment.

The countries that are statistically safest for women also have the most passionate, man-hating feminists. You are trying to outflank all the misandry out there by proposing a misguided solution. You expose a childish understanding of human nature with your remedy.

Let's use an example. If you tell all men to leave women alone in public and stop approaching, what happens? Good, aware men who want to be allies to women stop approaching women but there will be a minority of men who do not care about rules, criticism and restrictions. They will approach and make a woman uncomfortable and guess what some of them will succeed. Morality is not the issue. It is communication, words not aligning with actions and the duplicity of female nature.

kingpinkatya · 2025-03-08T17:18:57+00:00

I agree with this. Every woman knows a rapist, sexual assaulter or abuser who is male but most men claim to not know one or that theyd never associate with one.

meanwhile it's yall and your friends or relatives! and when women do make sexual assault allegations it's men and pickmes always peddling the "what did she do to deserve it question" in the form of:

how much did she drink?
what did she wear? -was she promiscuous?
did she try to break up with him?
why was she alone with him?
did she humiliated him?
did she provoke him?
did she get cold feet?
was she planning to leave him?
did she lie to him?

all used to justify the death and abuse of women and vulnerable people at the hands of men

ZoneLow6872 · 2025-03-08T17:20:30+00:00

Women have been telling you this. Forever. You (men in general) want to change your public image? Not be feared as a group? Then call out your own people when they say or do bad, problematic things. Women ALL know that all men aren't rapist-killers, but we ALSO know that the vast majority of you EXCUSE this behavior in your friends and colleagues: "He was just joking", " Don't be so sensitive", "Did you lead him on?", etc. You have PROVEN that you as a collective cannot be trusted regardless of who is committing the actual crimes.

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John_Oakman · 2025-03-08T17:12:57+00:00

Since by doctrine genuine moral virtues are wholly independent of worldly/material results modern society has little relevant mechanisms in curbing behaviors that are contrary to the continued smooth operation of said societies. Adding to the issue is the balkanization of societies & communities, and the ease in which one can leave a community and enter another.

More to the point, based & redpilled real men of the manosphere aren't really affected by the shaming and guilt tripping from law & social abiding males, because those words & cancelling have little to no effects on what they continue to do, and they often aren't even in the social circles in which they would hear said shaming & guilt tripping.

Drastic measures such as blacklisting them from all housing, employment, & shopping or drive them out of the town on a rail would be rather effective, but most modern societies & communities in the Euro Atlantic democracies are too morally virtuous for that so that's not gonna happen.

Incognito2362 · 2025-03-08T20:52:01+00:00

Women are the ones that lack morality.

Eyoshias · 2025-03-08T20:56:30+00:00

Why am I more responsible for other men's behavior just because we share a set of genitals. Why moreso than calling out women or women calling out men.

cantwifeahoe · 2025-03-08T21:48:07+00:00

If it’s a crime, let the legal system deal with it. Other than that it is not my responsibility.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-03-09T01:57:28+00:00

Probably because those men don’t really care about what those people say/do. In their minds, they are wasting time and energy on something that is considered to be extremely low importance to them. They’d rather put that time and energy into something more important in their lives.

Now if it starts directly affecting them, then yes they would care about holding certain men to a higher standard of decency. Until then, don’t expect a different result.

Kreeps_United · 2025-03-09T02:38:46+00:00

men can be good people, but we seem to really not give a crap about silencing the bad ones who take up a bulk of the male community's output speaking over a silent majority (though even amongst this silent majority, it seems we hold ourselves to low degree of moral expectation, and decency)

If in this place, where men jump over each other to prove the "women are wonderful effect" true, maybe the issue isn't really men's standard of decency but their standard of effectiveness.

The first step should probably to stop talking at men and start talking to them.

ViolentShallot · 2025-03-09T10:44:22+00:00

Most men are good men. Most men do contribute ENORMOUSLY to a society that's extremely good for men and women.

You -and those who whine about this particular topic- are entitled babies that have zero historical or societal awareness.

You are taking a lot for granted.

The society you describe - one where most men are evil and abuse power and those that aren't do nothing to hold them accountable - already exists.

In Afghanistan.

Afghanistan is what happens when men with power want to be oppressive and the "good men" are quiet about it. In the west? In the west good men put their lives at risk to uphold laws that enforce equality. Laws that good men designed, and good men wrote in.

You are looking an incredibly complex machine that has 99.99999% of the work done, and nitpicking the remaining bit. Everything women do, they can do because of a majority of good men. And I'm not saying they should be thankful, but if your hypothesis were true and most men were the monsters you've been brainwashed to believe they are, society would not be like it is. Not one bit.

The west, today, is at the highest moral standard of decency in the history of humanity.

weenieandthebutt · 2025-03-09T15:48:57+00:00

For real, why don't you tell women not to hookup with doucebags and toxic men? They're the one's who enable the behaviour of these so called bad men you talk about. I literally have nothing to do with them and there's no "male community" apart from a few niche one's online.

Proudvow · 2025-03-09T21:55:00+00:00

No.

As long as there are abusers and cheaters getting laid more than me I'm not holding myself to anything. Morality should be incentivized. Being a good person just to still occupy the lower rungs of society's totem pole is being a sucker.

Corbast7 · 2025-03-08T17:40:23+00:00

I don’t think you’ll ever get as many men on board with raising any standard, at least not relatively as often as women can get other women on board with that. Men who look down on women and see us as a scarce commodity will just never care much about decency. They are mainly thinking of their own gratification and competing for sex. There is not much else they care about.

As we collectively allow more women to have more autonomy, men seem to get more divided as they figure out how to grapple with that. It is existentially scary for men to be losing control of women’s choices: Because women having more freedoms means that men have to try harder. And that means that plenty of men will behave indecently (and worse) if they think it might benefit their odds. The men who have a “might makes right” attitude have it because they’re opportunists. As evidenced by this sub and threads like this, it’s very hard to convince them otherwise.

In other words, I think that the good-intentioned men have to just find likeminded men and raise their standards of decency together outside of the goal of getting sex/approval from women. The “good men” imo have something greater that they care about that isn’t about manipulating women or regressing society / gender roles. That is what distinguishes them from “the bad men.”

Venus_On_Fire90 · 2025-03-08T17:07:07+00:00

This is true, unfortunately you're about to met with varying ways on how while this may be a collective image problem, it is not problem enough to change or care about it. Everything is fine and if it isn't, its not men so it's fine.

jduong219 · 2025-03-08T17:45:48+00:00

Honestly, this whole thread is eyeopening. More so the comments than anything else. They really don’t see it, do they.

As a feminist woman, not sure if this is like a “fuck the patriarchy” kind of post but I totally agree. And ditching the patriarchy isn’t just a way to get women, although I will say, the few truly good men I know, everyone loves them, despite not even being feminists themselves. That’s what we are trying to say. It’s also a way for men to live more freely and experience true peace as well. It’s saying that masculinity is not this tiny little box that you will never end up fitting into, it’s endlessly vast and beautiful and is whatever you make it to be. Like it’s seriously so much more obtainable than people make it out to be. You can cry, you can like the color pink, you can knit, be a loving and empathetic father/husband/ brother/ friend, you can be short, you can be poor, and you can still be a secure man despite all this by being someone wonderful that people want to be around. Being a truly good man is just a different version of personal success, and it all depends on what is personally fulfilling to you, not society’s opinions tube fed to you. Listen to what the people on the death beds wish they spent more time on. A lot of the time, it’s relationships with people they love and respect. Being a truly good man is nurturing those relationships and it’s like karma, it’ll always come back to reward you in return.

magavoter69 · 2025-03-08T16:52:54+00:00

Actions need incentive, women dont reward morals they reward power and therefore men will do anything to get power

ViolentShallot · 2025-03-09T11:14:08+00:00

Let's add one more:

Why are you, OP, not holding yourself to a higher standard of decency? Why are you talking about "calling out people that say not nice things" and you're not saving lives in Africa?

Why are you picking the "decency" and "morals" that "make you look good, as opposed to the immature jerks" and not the decency that helps those in need?

Are you aware that most of the men that you're trying to lecture -and that you look down on from your high horse- have contributed orders of magnitude more to the wellbeing of women and men alike than you, whose net contribution to the world is still grossly negative?

Because you have just walked past the men risking electrocution and death so you can charge your phone, the men risking traffic accidents so you can buy your groceries, the men cleaning and managing the waste system so you don't die of dieseases, the men organizing millions of systems so you can post your rhetoric, the men designing the laws, the men risking their lives to uphold them, the men paying taxes to make sure everyone gets the basic necessities.

You've ignored the men that build the houses. The men that keep the gas on the stoves, the men who spend months at sea, the men breaking their backs to raise the crops you eventually eat. The men paying taxes that are then dedicated to those who can't or won't contribute.

Your premise, that most men are evil, that most men don't help each other, is a spit on the face of the extremely, utterly unique welfare situation society has created. It's an insult to the concept of good itself.

A poor woman today lives an order of magnitude better than a king 300 years ago.

And that's because of good men.

Title	Men need to start holding ourselves to a higher moral standard of decency
Author	Blue__Ronin
Upvotes	0
Comments	216
Date	March 8, 2025 4:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1j6kwtz/men_need_to_start_holding_ourselves_to_a_higher/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-need-to-start-holding-ourselves-to-a-higher.1545966 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545966

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