There’s nothing wrong with a guy who’s not into partying, clubbing, drugs, or hookup culture, seeking out a woman who shares his interests.

gdognoseit · 2025-09-17T19:18:39+00:00

Why is this a problem for you? Just state upfront that these are deal breakers to you. Problem solved.

Date people that think like you do. That’s fine. No one cares.

Just state those are your deal breakers up front. Don’t date people that like to dance and go to clubs.

This isn’t an issue unless you intentionally date people that like to party and go to clubs and try to change them.

You’re not wrong unless you intentionally date someone who likes to party. Then you’re wrong for trying to force someone to change.

Competitive_Lion_260 · 2025-09-17T10:44:20+00:00

Of course, there's nothing wrong with that.

?????

Why would that be wrong?

It would be very stupid to ignore important things like values/ lifestyle/ morals/ future plans / political beliefs / character traits / etc. Etc.

Besides that, everyone can like or dislike who they want for whatever reason they want. Or for no reason at sll.

Superannuated_punk · 2025-09-17T10:45:09+00:00

Was…was anyone arguing that there is…?

I swear some of you guys think you’re being gang-stalked by an ill-defined group of cartoon feminists .

stockingsinrainboots · 2025-09-17T14:00:21+00:00

Who disagrees with this?

bluestjuice · 2025-09-17T18:33:50+00:00

I don’t give a single fuck if some guy doesn’t like clubbing or partying or hookup culture or drugs. Hell, I have a really low threshold of tolerance for these things myself so we might have a lot in common.

I do have a problem if the guy indicates that he doesn’t like these things because they are wrong, and that he thinks people who do like them are wrong to.

Traveler759 · 2025-09-17T10:32:52+00:00

People will disagree but I found out women find it a reg flag if a guy doesn’t drink; doesn’t like partying etc even if she is not that into the party lifestyle herself.

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-09-17T10:16:30+00:00

Ill debate the there's nothing wrong with a guy part. You get invited to happy hour, or a great wedding where everyone is getting plastered. Is your response no thanks I dont do the partying clubbing drugs hookup culture i dont share your interests/values? Or are you coming out and being the sober guy in the room standing in the corner? These are normal things that happen to real human beans

KayRay1994 · 2025-09-17T13:59:38+00:00

Who tf is bullying you into accepting it?

When a dude is criticized for his preferences, it’s often due to him being angry that the woman won’t change for him or because he expects women to act like this. If that’s what you prefer while leaving others alone nobody gives a fuck

Solondthewookiee · 2025-09-17T10:13:05+00:00

As always, it is not the preference that is the problem, it is the unsolicited assholery that frequently comes with it.

Not dating a woman who goes clubbing ✅

Not dating a woman who goes clubbing because she's out getting run through and is obviously cheating and therefore for the streets ❌

toasterchild · 2025-09-17T10:28:38+00:00

Nobody is trying to force you to date women you don't have things in common with. It's always about the shitty way the person talks about the women they don't personally have things in common with that is the issue.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-09-17T10:24:13+00:00

The problem isn't preferences.

The problem is the guy who's not into partying, clubbing, drugs, or hookup culture (four distinct things that few people who are into one are into all, BTW), screeching online because others prefer those preferences.

Oh, and wanting someone "hot" from those spaces to treat him like the guys in those spaces, despite his outright refusal to partake in them.

Worldly_Dance_7147 · 2025-09-17T13:41:55+00:00

You're all over the place though.

One minute, it's about interests and compatibility.

seeking out a woman who shares his interests.

It makes sense to pursue a relationship with someone you’re compatible with, who shares your interests, your values, your likes and dislikes it.

This next minute, it's about their history.

If a woman has a history of partying, clubbing and hooking up, it makes sense that a guy who’s not into these things won’t want a relationship with her.

It's one thing to refuse to date a woman who has ever gone clubbing... it's another thing to pretend it's because you don't have the same interests.

Pretty_Place_3917 · 2025-09-17T11:52:08+00:00

The bigger question is: Why do you care what other people think of your preferences?

If you don't like party women or women who hook up, just avoid them.

I personally avoid those kinds of women, but I never let them shame me. At the end of the day, I'm doing myself a favor and them a favor to avoid a toxic situation.

WebNew9978 · 2025-09-17T15:55:28+00:00

No there isn’t but being a guy like that could significantly shrink your dating pool though. Your options of women who are like that are (could be) very limited.

iamatwork24 · 2025-09-17T17:43:58+00:00

Dude this sounds like precisely one person said this to you and you’re acting like that’s normal. It’s not. That person just sucks.

champion_azure · 2025-09-17T18:01:22+00:00

"I don’t understand why women want to bully and pressure a guy into accepting things he’s not into."

I don't I've witnessed bullying for not being part of that culture, certainly I've witnessed denigraton and the labelling of boring by women who display a chauvinism that I cannot comprehend.

Edit grammar.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2025-09-17T20:42:15+00:00

Agreed. Most people look for people with same morals and values.

So if a girl is a party girl or is more easy with relationship or sex.

That often makes it for a men that has a more traditional outlook and not into partying. Does not want a person like the above example.

Its ok when people are not compatible.

The problem often is people wanna condemn one side for having standards but champion the other side even for having unreasonable standards.

And the harsher you treat one side the harsher in time the other side treats you back. Action reaction.

Why you should always have the same demands and values for your self as you demand of others. And thats what people often dont do. Why people don't respect those people. No one values or respect people that act like hypocrites all the time. What also make a ton of those people get the outcomes based on that.

People just want to have high demands for others but wanna be quick to be outraged when people treat them to the same standards back.

And thats in many way the issue. The intolerant people demanding much more then they self are ever willing to give. And act like they oppressed when demand the same effort and value back that they so quick to demand.

People are quick to demand something for nothing.

While only effort and investment gets and should be rewarded not being intolerant and difficult and demanding more then you willing to give. What makes many people find those people unworthy of anything they demand. And those people often get played or have there time wasted. Cause people that act selfishly will draw selfish people towards them.

The same way of a person has cheated in the past often will keep meeting people that would also cheat on them.

How you act towards others. Has a way to come back on you. Why in many ways how you treat others wil make it that other will treat you the same way.

Why if you want people to care for you and love you. Even for all your flaws. You have to actually take the effort and investment in other. And not tear them down. But also show love and compassion and care for others.

Cause why would others ever care about you. If you have a history of very quickly dismissing others for the smallest reasons. But expect others to accept your flaws. Thats what I think is so delusional of many people now a days. And is the real reason why selfishness in dating and single parents is so high.

Of your out to use people for your own gain. People gonna do the same back to you. Action reaction.

So yes there is nothing wrong with it. But how you treat others and how you interact with the world the world interacts back at you.

People have far more power and control over the outcomes then. They think especially when it comes to dating and relationships. How selfish they are and how invested and much they care for the other side.

Even so simple as you want a partner to listen to you talk about your hobbies. But your quick to dismiss or say you don't care about the others hobby. People wanna be offended that the person is not showing interest. But people invest or pull back there investment based on how others treat you. So that the other side does not care about your hobbies or stories. Can often be by your own reaction towards the other side. That Action makes that people show disinterest back at you.

Thats not just relationship but frends and work and all facts of life work like that. Being selfish does not keep getting rewarded. It also cost you a how lot in many aspects of life.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-09-18T00:50:22+00:00

Well that may happen only because men have allowed society to do so without much pushback. Only really the sleeping around and being fat or shamed a lot though. Some of the other things you listed don't really get shamed all that much at least as of yet. They might start to do so but as of yet men are allowed to not want party/club girls without it being much of an issue.

CancerMoon2Caprising · 2025-09-18T03:16:05+00:00

Agreed, though this is pretty easy to weed out.

313-313-313-313-313 · 2025-09-18T11:54:26+00:00

Absolutely nothing wrong with that, but being into those things as either gender is not a green flag for someone to be in a relationship with and commit to long term

operation-spot · 2025-09-23T22:05:22+00:00

Who said there was something wrong with dating someone similar to you? With that said, the type of woman you’re describing is the same type of woman every man wants so there’s more competition. Since you’re here talking about it I doubt you’re able to compete in that way but that’s what you’re up against.

I’d also add that if your definition of an attractive woman is synonymous with the mainstream definition you’ll have to deal with mainstream behaviors like clubbing. So many men want a unicorn while being average at best and it doesn’t make sense.

OverlordMau · 2025-09-17T10:12:58+00:00

I don't understand why women want to bully and pressure a guy into accepting things he's not into.

It's not a gender specific issue, the people that bully and pressure people into accepting something they don't agree with, are promiscuous people, men and women.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-09-17T15:56:27+00:00

Where are women doing that now ?

Routine-Present-3676 · 2025-09-17T11:48:37+00:00

No shit. What are you trying to argue here?

InitialTrue1501 · 2025-09-17T13:01:21+00:00

Slightly disconnected take here — you’re only wrong if you communicate or admit to these standards. As an adult man, just accept that it’s considered backwards to prioritize modesty and propriety atp. People lie about themselves and their standards all the time…you should too. If anything, feigning tolerance only makes it easier to get transparency from a potential partner. It’s considered acceptable to lie about intimate history, for example, you should just lie too.

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gdognoseit · 2025-09-17T18:39:09+00:00

Then don’t try to date people that are into that.

It’s fine you have a preference but don’t date someone and think you have the right to control them and tell them they can’t do something.

Title	There’s nothing wrong with a guy who’s not into partying, clubbing, drugs, or hookup culture, seeking out a woman who shares his interests.
Author	Past-Shoulder-631
Upvotes	64
Comments	227
Date	September 17, 2025 10:05 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nj90vo/theres_nothing_wrong_with_a_guy_whos_not_into/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/theres-nothing-wrong-with-a-guy-whos-not-into.1562171 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562171

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