How do I deal with this rage

jonasnoble · 2026-06-10T20:02:13+00:00

Brother, I felt these words and it hurts. I know the feeling of not being able to contain the rage and sense of betrayal. But when all else fails, stop and breathe through it. Don't push it away. Don't break something just to stop the feelings. Just breathe and let it pass.

I got clean and started over with nothing and no one at 29. And I promise, the next 5 years until I met my forever person were some of the best of my life. Give yourself time. Then enjoy your freedom. You are just now entering your prime.

Salty-Dealer1046 · 2026-06-09T03:48:10+00:00

Hey,
Put that to use. Make yourself unrecognizable. Hit the gym, likely late at night to wear off the day and be fatigued for sleep.

We all go through it. It’s normal. Don’t waste it on complaining. Let, it, out….

Feed it to your muscles!

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2026-06-06T03:43:05+00:00

Time my friend. Time.

I said it in another post. You’re going to have to experience the worst pain in your life that it breaks you to your core. But it will also reshape you. And you will be a better MAN because of it.

Safe-Internal-5310 · 2026-06-04T18:38:19+00:00

I know all the feelings and i'have been in the same boat.

No advice will help right now, but all the good advices in this thread will become real for you one day. I'm one year out and now I see and feel more clearly. You loved her, and she didn't reciprocate. That is a sign of your character. That you are hurt and angry, is you being a human cabable of love, comitment and loyalty - you are doing right by not trying to lose yourself - that is what she wants, she want's you to call her names etc, don't give her that.

One day she will crawl back, but then you are already moved on (this I didn't believe, but happended)

One day, then the next day - you got this!

pottsyOSL · 2026-06-04T12:08:00+00:00

The best line of philosophy I ever heard was: "The opposite of love is not anger, it's indifference".

What's good about this is when you're angry and want revenge you know focus on getting to indifference, as the best form of revenge. Once you get to indifference, well you don't care any more anyway so what does it all matter?

It's ok to feel hurt, hate, anger and whatever else, just keep in mind the end goal is not giving a fuck and moving on. Last point - 99% of the time this "oh I have moved on to happy green pastures" from an ex is usually exaggerated and temporary at best, and outright horse shit most of the time.

Worldly_Diver9265 · 2026-06-04T02:48:38+00:00

Okay, I want you to listen to me. I've been through this, and believe me, everything will turn out ok. IF YOUR GIRL HAS AN AFFAIR, JUST KNOW YOUR GF STARTED IT Cut the BS Don’t waste your time trying to make it work. Your girl gave him the signal. Your girl opened the door. She made herself available.

A cheating girl is not confused. She’s not “trapped.” She’s calculated. She’ll lie to you at home, then give her body to another man with no hesitation. And once she’s done it, she’ll do it again. Because a woman who can betray once has already killed her loyalty.

And you, as a man, need to stop negotiating with betrayal. Don’t beg her. Don’t investigate who made the first move. Don’t fight for a woman who has already chosen another man behind your back.

If she cheats, send her packing. End of story.

Because the truth is simple: if another man is sleeping with your girl, it’s because she invited him in. And the only thing more humiliating than being cheated on… is staying with the woman who did it.

FINAL WORD: A man who tolerates betrayal is no man at all. Don’t waste your strength chasing shadows. Don’t waste your fists on men who only answered her call. Put all accountability where it belongs — on her. Then, walk away with your pride intact.

Stay disciplined. Never accept betrayal. EVER!

Get rid of her NOW. The hurt will go away, trust me. You need to start healing. Join a gym, start a new hobby, play pickle ball, most of all...HEAL. Listen to me! It takes 6 -12 months to get past this. You are on your way only when you accept its over. Woman get over it fast, cause theyve usually have checked out long before. Their regrets may or may not come later, believe me. In the long run, men can fair better. It is very hard to find a good man. You're problem, you dont know your worth. Your healing begins in your mind. Be your own best friend. Pamper yourself. Join a gym, transform. Learn to love being alone and do things by yourself, museums, sporting events, restaurants, walks, pubs, etc.... whatever you love to do. SPOIL YOURSELF....great tickets, great cuts of beef, trips, whatever floats your boat. DO IT! Doing things by yourself builds and shows confidence. Confidence is unbelievably attractive, but it must be genuine. Trust me. Re-invent yourself, be who YOU want to be. Above all.....remember this fact: The true love of your life is out there waiting to meet you. That can't, and won't happen, until you have fully healed. The longer you take to heal, the longer you will keep the true love of your life waiting. Please, please, please, believe me, your story will have a happy ending! Drop me a line when it does! I love saying I told you so!!!!

Punt the cunt...and dont EVER take her back!

BadLuckEddie · 2026-06-04T02:19:53+00:00

Walk or exercise until you are exhausted. It’s important to find a HEALTHY outlet, just exhaust yourself while bettering yourself. Or, take a weed gummy and watch family guy.

Emotional-Ad-2276 · 2026-06-04T01:29:04+00:00

Go to the gym, lift heavy weights till you can’t, repeat. The iron paradise is great therapy and remember that good living is the best revenge

Under_Covr · 2026-06-03T23:24:15+00:00

Better than losing your 20s, 30s and 40s to her. Cut her loose and stay off social media for awhile. Fux dat bitch!

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-06-03T18:27:21+00:00

What you need to do is never ever show any emotions in front of her. You are in shock and going through the stages of grief, one of them being rage - and they can return and not come in order. Trust me, 6 months will pass and you'll feel like she did you a huge favor. Working out, music, hanging with your friends, helps a lot. Don't isolate. Spend as much time as you can away from her until she moves away.

Once she moves you don't have to see her or hear from her again, as you have no kids. I love my kids but this means I have to deal with my monster of an ex for life (one of our kids has a disability).

justamannotafailure · 2026-06-03T16:55:36+00:00

I can't pretend I've handled my own pain perfectly, because I'm pretty broken myself right now. But reading this, I recognize that kind of rage. It's not really about wanting revenge or wanting to hurt someone. It's what happens when years of love, sacrifice, loyalty, and effort suddenly feel like they meant nothing to the person you gave them to. The anger is covering a mountain of grief.

Despite all that rage, you're still choosing not to act on it. You're not screaming at her, you're not destroying things, you're not trying to get even. You're walking, talking, and trying to survive the day. That takes more strength than most people realize.

Anger eventually burns itself out. What stays behind is the loss. The loss of the future you thought you had, the person you thought would always be there, and the life you spent years building. That's the part that's really hard. Don't beat yourself up for being angry. Just don't let the anger become who you are. Get through today, then tomorrow, then the day after that. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Strange_Button_3330 · 2026-06-03T16:50:49+00:00

Coming into this late - sorry dude. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

Once you get through the initial grief/anger/numbness you'll find yourself again.

For me I channelled the anger into weight lifting and it worked to calm me down.

One thing I found is that with distance and time from the 22 year marriage I look back with more clarity. For me, being married to someone who was unhappy was an impossible task. Being divorced and free from them is the silver lining.

This will pass. You will get through it and grow from it. Sounds corny but true.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-06-03T15:59:07+00:00

Think legally. Dont break anything and don’t do or say anything that she could record and use to make you look bad. Her having shamelessly hurt you, she needs that to make herself look like a victim.

You’re going to come out of this as the better person and you’re valid to be as infuriated as you are. Just control where and when you vent it

Strange-Penalty82 · 2026-06-03T14:52:13+00:00

I know I’m a dog but I will never understand dudes who mess with married women. Never fruitful, you lose em how you got em.

Character-Change-507 · 2026-06-03T13:38:51+00:00

Go out into the woods and let it out. Scream. As loud as you can. Smash branches on trees. Have the ugly cry

KingJon85 · 2026-06-03T13:28:03+00:00

You're gonna be fine dude. Perhaps leave for a week until she leaves?

It's going to sting for awhile, but this is a new beginning. Dont let her win by controlling your mind.

Once she is gone, make sure she is blocked on everything. Email to communicate until things are settled up. Do not show any emotion. Grey rock her.

Start building your own dream life. Work on yourself physical and financially.

You can do whatever the fuck you want to do! You're a free man!

CrazySmooth · 2026-06-03T13:10:41+00:00

Nothing you do would satisfy what you're feeling.

In fact, you'll regret any reaction.

You do , you!

This life was granted to you!

You beat out thousands , if not millions of sperm to be present on earth.

You forgot that, You forgot how slim of a chance that is That's what happens when you graciously mind melded /merge souls with her.

I say again. This life is about YOU

I8erbeaver2 · 2026-06-03T12:45:04+00:00

Just feel lucky you didn’t have kids with her. I wish I didn’t have to see my ex at all.

drase · 2026-06-03T12:09:21+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. Gym saved my life. And the results will make you more marketable to the opposite sex. Get a gym membership and a therapist, trust me bro…they are both worth it.

The_Restructured_Man · 2026-06-03T11:58:46+00:00

That rage is fuel... don't waste it on her. Do something physical... lift something heavy, run until your brain shuts up. You're doing the right thing keeping your mouth shut. She leaves in a week and then you start building. Head down until then

Bumblebee56990 · 2026-06-03T11:33:51+00:00

I’d recommend a therapist. Also some type of physical exercise to get it out. You’re not okay right now but you will be…

djaanmieesl · 2026-06-03T11:27:18+00:00

In the immediate, because nothing else worked for me when I too was this angry: I bought a heavy bag and just beat the hell out of it until I was too tired to continue. It helped with the sleepless nights. Also went to the gym way more.

In the short term: finding anything else to focus on, like a project or hobby or just a health goal. I completely reworked my diet and focused on that, and I started writing short stories.

For the long term: know that eventually it fades away, you stop thinking about her, and things you enjoy begin to take center stage again. Be grateful for what you have, including your health. Enjoy the fact that you’re at least able to make a clean break and never have to see her again. I get the pleasure of seeing mine and getting nonstop idiotic emails almost daily because of our kids.

Next_Level_Fencing · 2026-06-03T11:16:41+00:00

I would join a gym. either weight lifting or martial arts, just to get the anger out of your system. Shit like this is hard man. Everyone here has some good advice. Karma will get her but be thankful that it can be worse.

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2026-06-03T10:48:23+00:00

Be happy and grateful for what you have. I dont think you have kids, be grateful you dont with her.

You wrote the line, You wrote you wont ruin your life over her. Good. Keep going with that attitude.

Focus on what you can control. If it gets overwhelming when youre both in the house. Take a walk, go for a drive, go blow off some steam (without drugs or alcohol).

Every person in this group has been in your situation - more or less. You'll get through it. We all have.

Divoce is usually a few steps forward and maybe (sometimes) more steps back - emotionally, physically, whatever. The most important thing is to keep moving.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-06-03T10:30:33+00:00

I hear you and I was there. Caught my ex in an affair with her co-worker and had to wait for her to get an apartment and move out. For 90 days I slept in the guest room while she texted and FaceTimed her pos loser affair partner.

I wanted to do harm to both of them but I have three kids and I don't want to get fucked in prison.

Do I bit my tongue and held out for 90 days. It was brutal. But, she's gone and another dudes problem now.

OkJaguar5013 · 2026-06-03T06:55:30+00:00

Allow it to amputate the care and love and image you have in your chest for a person that no longer exists. Her memory will continue to want to fill that void. Fill it with other things. Rediscover old passions you had and neglected and sacrificed yourself for. Gym, no drugs/booze, I enjoyed long long walks (1-2 hours), prayer, hikes, rock climbing, audiobooks, imagining what I could become, salt baths are amazing if you have a tub/enough hot water, cold showers in the morning are helpful from lack of sleep, practice just talking to women (even if no intention), playing guitar, etc etc etc. Chin up or the crown falls my brother. You got this. In the flames right now but you’ll get thru it for sure. Anger is a good fuel, use it but remember it’s a dirty one so you’ll want to change fuel to self-worth/love eventually. She doesn’t deserve to be fuel forever. Godspeed.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-06-03T06:39:46+00:00

I know the feeling of being on the other side of a closed door, listening to the person you have been for 25 years laughing and giggling with another man on the phone. I will never forget that feeling. I could not sleep. I was awake at night trying to work out how screwed my life was going to be. I honestly could not see where I was going to live or how I was going to survive after divorce.

Now almost 3 years later and still not divorced I can testify that the first best thing that happened was when she moved out. I could start sleeping again.

The next best thing was realizing that even if I lose everything I have, its all just material things and none of it really matters.

She is not your wife anymore, so stop calling her that. She is now someone else. Someone that you used to know.

Stay calm and in time you will see freedom instead of loss. Now just keep yourself together until she is out.

You can do this. If I can, you can surely also. PS. I am still bitter but working on accepting and exercise helps getting left over frustration vented.

Burned_Out_Paradise · 2026-06-03T06:31:21+00:00

Don't let her back in once it's over. She may try after realizing this other dude isn't as stable or sacrificing... and she'll try and weasel her way back in to get those "provisions" again. Don't fall for it.

Techdude_Advanced · 2026-06-03T05:54:41+00:00

The anger is very natural, just don't do anything stupid with it. Don't try to suppress it either, you have to go through this. Eventually you will get over the anger, but as people in our situation before us always said, use that anger to save yourself.

Head out and run like a mad man, hit the gym, do very longs walks, you don't need a destination, do any type of sports that makes you sweat. Clear your head and slowly prepare for your new reality.

Also fuck Chris, he's a coward.

Now is time to detach and start working on becoming the man she regrets leaving and they always do when you are a good person. It's a blessing in disguise we don't see in the early stages of the betrayal.

TonyPlush2 · 2026-06-03T05:53:53+00:00

It gets better. Join us on this side. It’s good you’re getting it out. Also write it out, take the effort to put literal pen to paper. It helps so much. We’ve been there. Take all the advice here. Just drive. Just walk. Yell at nothing. Just get it out. Therapy if you’re open to it.

Know that there’ll be good days and bad days. But I’ll bet mostly good from here on out. Keep yourself disciplined and don’t do anything stupid. Once you’re clear, the divorce is finalized, it’s such a weight lifted. Get there as soon as you can but don’t give up what you can get to speed it all up. Most women will act on emotion and you can use that to your advantage. Take her down surgically and come out cleaner than you thought possible on the other side

Slippedbonds · 2026-06-03T05:40:10+00:00

Go for a drive, park, and yell at your steering wheel for a while with loud music blaring. Get it all out so you don’t let it out on others or even her. Do this as often as you need to.

Sea_Structure_2910 · 2026-06-03T05:02:01+00:00

Lots of good advice in here. All I'll add is this.

Accept your anger.

You have the right to be angry. It's an emotion we're all born with, one we all feel at times. Appropriate anger is not wrong, and what's happening to you is certainly reason enough to be angry. Don't beat yourself up for being angry. Allow it.

But don't allow it to control you. Don't act out of anger. Feel it, understand it, and know that it can help you and protect you if channeled properly. And in time you'll learn to let it go.

Effective_Sir_6406 · 2026-06-03T04:57:09+00:00

Or find a place you can actually yell properly. Not some pussy yell, but a deep, from the guts all out growl and yell. You need to get that anger out in a positive way. Find an abandoned area, use a pillow, but you got to blow off some steam in a semi-healthy way (ie dont just pound whisky)

Effective_Sir_6406 · 2026-06-03T04:56:09+00:00

You need to channel it somehow. The first thing I can think of is a boxing class. Not only can it help you burn some energy, it's good for the mindset to get your mind off things, you'll get some natural endorphins that will help, keeping fit in this situation will help you and oh yeah, you get to punch the crap out of a bag. Just picture her or Chris.

Seoul-Brotha · 2026-06-03T04:46:28+00:00

Cut the internet

jules13131382 · 2026-06-03T04:43:58+00:00

Ultimately she will suffer from her own bad behavior…as we all do.

Hobdar · 2026-06-03T04:38:20+00:00

Leave - find somewhere else to live or do the rock thing (i could not i had the option to leave thankfully) - it completely did my head in being in the same house and living like a couple in separate rooms, but you are not.

BigBubbaMac · 2026-06-03T04:37:13+00:00

Easy for me to say but instead of focusing on the rage towards her, focus on the love you have for your self.

RanchItUp420 · 2026-06-03T03:37:24+00:00

Hit the gym like a maniac, focus on yourself

bytwokaapi · 2026-06-03T03:34:15+00:00

Deep breaths and go for a walk now!

WhoDatWhoDare · 2026-06-03T03:34:03+00:00

Start with therapy. Stop being there for her, that includes cooking for her. Be a gray rock. Don’t engage with her, and when you have to make sure it is in a unfazed and non-confrontational manner. The longer you continue to be there for her, the easier it is for her to not leave. Your healing will be delayed as long as you live together. The rage will not let you go until you no longer have to see her every day.

Good luck brother. So many of us have been there too. And we’re here to tell you that it sucks now, but don’t give up on yourself. Trust that time will help ease the pain. Therapy will help provide the tools to help it along.

3quartersdone · 2026-06-03T03:31:31+00:00

Do shit for you right now man. That happiness you see her having is temporary, the kind of people that lie, cheat and constantly take doom themselves. This "perfect" relationship she has with her AP has a ticking clock, either she will ruin it herself or this bloke who is low enough to participate in an affair will do it for her.

I have found through my separation I have begun to believe in karma much much more, luckily our marriage was extremely brief and we didn't have any children. But she took everything she could from the house when she left, I lost my dog and all my furniture. During the month we lived together after separating she made a point to seem as happy as she could; doing all the things she wouldn't do with me. Putting on airs as if her new life alone is perfect. It's not, she has no friends as she's deeply unlikable, she has no disposable income because she chose to live alone in the middle of a cost of living crisis, the bloke she will probably end up with (monkeybranched) has also emotionally cheated on his current partner.

She will go on and continue repeating her pattern of finding people to love, then falling out of love in a year and ditching them. She moves through the world hurting people. But that means everyone will always be an arms length away from her. She will never have closeness or peace.

I will admit I told her in no uncertain terms how much of a monster I think she is, how she's a vampiric narcissist. She just sat there like a robot. It was the angriest I have every been and the harshest I have ever spoken to a partner.

But now, I am doing everything I can for me and only me. I got my first haircut in years, no more split ends and it's great. I started tackling my adult acne and I feel so much better. Joined my mates' weeklly trivia night and have made more and more friends.

It's all very very fresh still, but my anger is certainly dissipating with time. When I do things to find my own happiness I demonstrate to myself that I don't need her for it. The anger I felt at her for taking that happiness gets a little blunter. When I feel my friends treat me with care and kindness and make me feel chosen, her cruelty and disregard becomes a little more distant of a memory.

You are worthy alone, doing well or not. People will always be able to get a leg up by being selfish and cruel, you may be down but you have your integrity. You can look back on this pain and be proud of your actions, even if they weren't perfect. If she has any conscience, her actions will eat away at her. Don't prosper to beat her, do it because you deserve it and the anger will slowly fade away.

Much love brother, you will get through this. My DMs are open if you need to have a bitch and a yarn ❤️

Existing_Neck9338 · 2026-06-03T03:13:53+00:00

Hang in there. Sounds cliche, but time does heal these things, or at least blurs the pain. This too shall pass

LesBleus10 · 2026-06-03T03:13:23+00:00

Hey man, a lot of what you wrote brought me back to my life six months ago. I used weight lifting and running to deal with the rage. Have since moved out and life is so much better now. Karma came for her hard. Stay out of trouble. I promise you can make this terrible situation even worse. Don’t, stay clean and get through hell as fast as you can. This too shall pass.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-06-03T03:12:22+00:00

Lots of people will say to channel that anger into something productive. Go to a gym, pursue a hobby, whatever - I disagree. While a gym helps physically release that anger, you also have to feel it to get thru it. Be angry. Be pissed. I found journaling, writing letters I'll never send, and venting to any friends that would listen - and that's what got me thru it in the end. But whatever you do, don't do something that'll land you in hot water. Your best revenge is to move on like she didn't even matter.

TheSwedishEagle · 2026-06-03T03:07:27+00:00

Therapy, man. I was so angry I couldn't even breathe sometimes. I learned anger is a secondary emotion. In my case secondary to grief, abandonment, and sadness. I learned to let go of the anger and feel the other emotions. It's not pleasant but it is better than the blind rage.

Construction00023 · 2026-06-03T03:05:38+00:00

It's part of the enemy's plan to get you to do something that further jeprodizes your future. Don't take the bait. Go hiking, golfing take the kid's go carting, go watch a live baseball game. Get out of the house more often and keep yourself busy so when you're home you're tired and in bed or dissociating in a book or show. I had that same anger that someone who I entrusted my life with and tied my identity to could betray me like that. To cope you could go to a break room place where they let you smash stuff up. I fantasized about exacting revenge on her and the AP several times, but I follow the fantasy with thinking about how that further damages the kids and basically throws my whole life away. I admit I still have the bursts of anger and curse under my breath. I'll sometimes take a cardboard box and treat it like a voodoo doll (thus far I've only did that once) and it temporarily gave some relief but then that post clarity kicks in a you think to yourself, thank God I only did that in sim mode versus real life because I get to keep my freedom and imagine that my kids have of me intact. I'm also taking antidepressants and ashwagandha which I think is helping with the anger. Reclaim your peace and ride out the storm. It's the only way you actually "win". PS if you do destroy something for example shoot up an old piece of furniture or destroy a cardboard box, be sure to despose of the evidence as she will damn well try to spin that into "proof" you're unhinged and unsafe to be around ( the system that is biased towards the female will grant her a protection order).

Striking-Trainer8148 · 2026-06-03T03:05:29+00:00

I know you may not understand or want to hear this right now…

But for me, the best thing I could do in your situation is thank her for not wasting 12 years of your life. Not to her face, of course. But in your mind. You’ve learned an 11 year lesson. At least it wasn’t 21. Or 30.

nutscrape · 2026-06-03T02:48:07+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. Many of us do.

What I did was I redirected my rage into planning the best exit for myself and kids. I used that as a way to feel like I could wrest control over my life from her deceptions. I control my life, not her lies.

Good luck.

Dramatic_Taro5846 · 2026-06-03T02:45:33+00:00

Anger is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemies to die. Forgiving my ex was the hardest, yet best thing I’ll ever do for myself.

Motor-Hat-3061 · 2026-06-03T02:42:14+00:00

Be glad she's leaving and you have no kids with her. Sounds like heaven compared to my shit.

fiddsy · 2026-06-03T02:33:03+00:00

Channel that anger... channel it into working out... channel it into making life long quality changes to yourself.

Im still super angry at my ex and myself.

Myself for giving her everything I had for 16+ years and getting 13 years of crumbs in return. Angry at myself for not leaving years ago. Anger for the shell of a person I became from the super confident person I once was. Anger at the time I lost, for letting my physical and mental health falter.

Angry at her for 100 different reasons.

Angry at the situation of our family unit breaking and another 100 different reasons.

Just gotta try remove yourself from the situation and channel that anger in productive ways.

The best revenge is moving on with your life, becoming the best version of yourself mentally, physically, financially and as a parent.

The anger stage is useful for motivation but you need to try channel it or your hole will only get darker and deeper.

funnyman6979 · 2026-06-03T02:28:40+00:00

I honed in on the wealthy parents portion, had that dynamic going, she had multiple affairs. Then had her minivan repossessed of course my fault but mom and dad could pay and fix anything. Where is she today getting ready to sell the remaining property her parents had that she’s lived in for the better half of 15 years along with one of our thirty something children.

This sucks, but like many here we support and while you can’t realize this right now, you’re going to come out the other side just fine, takes time sometimes years.

Sorry you’re going through this but the fact my ex and family had money was a pain in the ass and I have to tell my kids with her it will run out.

throwaway_coy4wttf79 · 2026-06-03T02:19:45+00:00

Almost 3 years into my bullshit and it keeps going.

Oniun_ · 2026-06-03T01:41:36+00:00

Just survive one more week man, then get your own shit in order, even on a smaller scale due to all the bullshit we have to deal with as the men.

It’s honestly not fair. And it fucking sucks wasting years and years of “peak” time in our lives to find that true life partner.. especially when you think you already did.. but you’ll hit a new high once you get your true life back and as long as you get yourself in order, you’ll attract the one to see your life through to the end.

Or if you want to role single, honestly it’s not a bad vibe sometimes..

Just don’t let her walk all over you and the shit you’ve provided..

But man, these moments fucking suck in life. It’s incredible how much you don’t want to care but it consumes you. But that’s when you need to pivot and absorb something productive and beneficial. A lot of time left on this earth. We’re lucky to be here.

Side note, not sure the kid situation or if there are any, but hope whatever that is goes well for you and them.

karemlore · 2026-06-03T01:36:00+00:00

I know it sucks, but you need to change your thoughts from "her" to "you". If you want to see it as a power dynamic, she has all the power and you are on a leash. You need to face your own future without her in your thoughts, whatever that entails. New hobby, new friends, new surroundings.

Try to find a healthy outlet for your anger, I took to hiking...axe throwing, boxing, gym, tai kwando.... whatever that will help you manage you anger while simultaneously finding yourself and realizing that you are worth being chosen and you were just not chosen in this case. Don't make the mistake of allowing yourself to see if you will be chosen, it will kill your self-esteem.

koskesh122 · 2026-06-03T01:35:54+00:00

Well bud, join the club.

50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate.
90% of all divorces initiated by the women. • Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you.
90% of custody awarded to mothers.
False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts. • You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

Settle your case ASAP. • The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
Find a hobby.
Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
Read books like No More Mr. nice guy
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube. • Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-06-03T01:22:39+00:00

Deeps breaths my friend…go for a walk. It sucks, I’m 8 months out and was really angry but now I’m just angry when I see my beautiful kids on the 50/50 schedule and think to myself ‘how could someone leave these kids like this?’ Try therapy, try anxiety medication, keep venting on this sub ornaments me a DM if you need to vent more. Good luck, it gets better but it’s the hardest thing to endure

Title	How do I deal with this rage
Author	Rileslay
Upvotes	100
Comments	87
Date	June 3, 2026 1:16 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tvaedz/how_do_i_deal_with_this_rage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-i-deal-with-this-rage.1581936 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581936

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