Women want less sex in relationships because men don't put nearly as much effort into being sexually attractive.

hurrem-hutan · 2018-01-29T11:51:22+00:00

Looking at people out on dates and the heterosexual couples will generally have a lady dressed up beautifully and the bloke in jeans and a shirt. He puts in little effort apart from rocking up.

There's not many men I see who really match their ladies in that department. Even if they threw on a smart jacket or something. Tuck your shirt in. Make some sort of effort. Instead it looks like they may just be out shopping. Or going to the park or pub. Standard wardrobe.

Salty-Bastard · 2018-01-29T14:48:05+00:00

Jammerly, there's nothing I like about you but you're 100% correct with this post.

LooksMatterToWomen · Mon Jan 29 9:11:47 2018 UTC

I agree, OP. This idea that looks aren't important to woman is a cultural vestige that dates back to when women had to marry in order to survive.

Offhisgame · 2018-01-29T09:08:57+00:00

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the_calibre_cat · 2018-01-29T06:05:27+00:00

I mean, women don't need breast implants or butt injections to be attractive either. There are a lot more ways women can be attractive than the other way around. Women can be sexually attractive skinny, chubby, short, tall, fit, flabby, etc.

Yes, we men spend a lot less time on daily maintenance but getting a physically attractive body as a dude is incredibly hard. Anybody can lose weight but getting muscular requires a lot of hard work and dedication. And a thing like height can't be changed at all.

And that's just the physical part. Women can get away with all kinds of stuff when it comes to personality. Women can be unfeminine, insecure, emotional, shy, aggressive, etc. and still be attractive. Men, on the other hand, need to avoid lots of behaviours to inspire sexual attraction in women.

newName543456 · 2018-01-29T09:16:29+00:00

B-b-b-b-b-b-but "it's only on the inside what counts!!!11!!1111!111!!!!!!"

Many snowflakes will probably get triggered with your post.

bunniebell · Mon Jan 29 13:30:59 2018 UTC

You speak the truth. I can't believe the lack of basic hygiene some men have. It's disgusting.

rainisthelife · 2018-01-29T19:29:14+00:00

Excellent post.

I remember a year ago when my boyfriend started getting fat. I made sure that the sex started decreasing proportionally. He asked me why and I told him that I do not fuck fat men. I’m not puting in effort to be attractive, so that he can just let himself go because he thinks he’s won and doesn’t have to try anymore. Fuck that shit. And he wised up appropriately and now exercises regularly because he’s a great guy that knows what he has.

And I can say and do this because I hold myself to the same standard. Unlike all the other entitled male slobs on this corner of the internet.

762Rifleman · Mon Jan 29 11:02:04 2018 UTC

Somebody venting their personal insecurities at the rest of us, eh? This reads like a black pill guy rant but with the genders reversed.

squidracer · Mon Jan 29 11:52:58 2018 UTC

Over half of women are overweight. Why put forth effort just to hopefully fuck a fattie that's disgusting once she takes off her clothes

GlibPerspective · 2018-01-29T07:05:01+00:00

I've gone on plenty of dates where I had dressed nice and the other person looked dumpy.

Women have significantly less testosterone than men, which is the primary hormone for establishing libido. It's preposterous to claim that women are as sexually driven as men are, and I have no idea how anyone could possibly stand to believe that to be true.

Salty-Bastard · 2018-01-29T05:40:17+00:00

Man, a lot of projecting going on in this post. I disagree. It is established that the hormone testosterone makes you much more conscious of your surroundings on a visual acuity level to all women in general, but ESPECIALLY to attractive women. FtM trans guys immediately notice a marked difference in that regard and begin to feel the physiological effects of I-couldn't-help-but-stareness common in all men.

However, vanity and by proxy, narcissism isn't really considered an attractive trait in men, though it can be said of any human. Men are able to tolerate women having those traits more in general because men are visual creatures, and don't mind admiring beauty. Maybe it's because I was brought up on Western culture, but I like truly masculine men. I'm Asian, but I don't like the metrosexuals of Asia and Korea who wear BB cream.

Sexual attraction for women is way more context-dependent than men's; the equation is usually looks + other variables (status, wealth, personality, etc). Of course men require a little bit of context such as personality as well, but there's a reason why the romantic novel is considered the female equivalent of pornography. There's a lot more imagination and extraneous stuff when it comes to female sexual desire. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT LOOKS AREN'T IMPORTANT AT ALL, and are still a HUGE part in mate selection. Women were simply given the role to be extremely choosy partners, so it just ends up being one of the variables.

That is not to say that whenever my boyfriends in the past and present start working out, I feel more of an animal attraction to them, but I'm putting my money on the fact that it's mostly due to an increased buildup of testosterone in addition to looking good. The only other way he could make my desire him go through the roof is if he loses a crazy amount of weight if I met him as a fat dude, though that's never happened. I'm more attracted to innate manliness acquired through status, wealth, and a generally healthy lifestyle than ripped metrosexuals.

mgtow_1 · 2018-01-30T02:15:03+00:00

Have you seen the average married woman in America today? That's not putting in much effort. Now I agree the average man is probably no better, but the problem is that average woman isn't looking for an average man.

1UPZ_ · Mon Jan 29 9:21:25 2018 UTC

I agree to an extent.

Lots of men, once married or engaged, they let themselves go. And wonder why women stray or cheat... well, if they were hoes to start with, they will always stray, but if the man lets himself go, she strays quicker and tells herself its his fault for not looking good anymore.

Men should continue to work out, eat healthy and grow old as elegant as they can. Not for her.... but for himself. Be the best you can be until you clock out. It also keeps life interesting.

pinkgoldrose · 2018-01-29T07:12:24+00:00

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lev21pirate · 2018-01-29T14:25:45+00:00

What's attractive to women is different than what's attractive to men.

You focus on physical appearance as a measure of effort to attract the opposite sex only because men are more visually receptive.

A girl could be a total fuck up in every other department and still get laid if she's 8+

And on that note I'd say that looking fit ain't cheap either; Gym memberships (not to factor in the time there) and suppliment don't fall from the sky. Being a flabby push over won't cut it no more.

As a side note , there's no way to lie your 5'8 ass to a 6'3 either.

Men have to attract women through other means : Education having Careers.

How much time and dedication does ot take to pick out a top that maches your shoes , cause it fucking takes a lot more time & efforts to get your financial shit together.

HossMcDank · 2018-01-29T08:54:30+00:00

This fails to explain gay men being as horny as any other.

wtknight · 2018-01-29T13:55:07+00:00

Men need to work on their personalities more than their bodies. I’ve always been in average shape and have never been muscular but have never had any trouble finding relationships once I developed confidence and a personality that attracted women. For consistent casual sex, being buff probably helps a lot more comparatively, though.

Whisper · Mon Jan 29 14:04:00 2018 UTC

Well, I'm glad you're not bitter at all, and that your sex life is fulfilling and satisfying.

But of course it's a man's job to make a woman want sex. And it's a woman's job to make a man want to stay.

[deleted] · 2018-01-29T20:05:45+00:00

I mean I agree with you but I would like to point out a few things.

1) Not many women put that much money into cosmetic surgery to look good. Most women just wear makeup.

2) I would say just as many men go the extra mile as women to look good (going to the gym).

3) I think there's a biological disparity too. Men are programmed to want more sex (does not mean they have to act in a toxic manner or without empathy). Just because a man has kids or is in a relationship, he will still want sex. I don't think the biological imperative is there for women a lot of the time, but that's just my opinion.

4) I think you are misunderstanding a lot of the anger that is projected towards women on the internet. Groups like incels and those who do poorly with women often aren't angry because they feel entitled, they are angry because they feel rejected. And yes, they are aware that they are unappealing. They call it a "platitude", but the reality is most of the people who say misogynistic things on the internet are self-conscious about themselves, and usually hate themselves.

Just because the pain doesn't present itself in the form of anorexia does not make it less valid. Perhaps it is difficult to empathize with, and I admit that I find it hard to do so at certains. The reality is most people are self-conscious about their bodies. The reason that incels feel the frustration is because at least women have someone, somewhere who will want them. What are you supposed to do when no one wants you? Where are you supposed to get that validation that you are a human being capable of being loved? No where.

Just some food for thought.

2018-01-29T20:49:43+00:00

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Arobin08 · 2018-01-29T22:43:59+00:00

Women have to work harder on their appearances than men do, but women don't have to worry about having a successful career, lots of ambition, a winning personality or being interesting like men have to focus on.

2018-01-29T05:35:09+00:00

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oneprettycoolcat · 2018-01-29T06:20:44+00:00

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2018-01-29T12:03:17+00:00

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Nephilim8 · 2018-01-29T19:20:50+00:00

This is so ludicrous. Let's be honest - this is a rant that's disconnected from reality. For one thing, it exaggerates the efforts that women put into their appearance (e.g. "Women are literally saving for 100s of thousands of dollars in expensive and dangerous surgery to look attractive to the average man." - really? Hundreds of thousands of dollars in surgery? To look attractive to the average man? and "They are throwing up full meals in the toilet and not eating for weeks to be attractive to men." Not eating for weeks, huh?). It also makes the massively wrong assumption about men and what they look/act like.

Where in your fevered imagination did you actually arrive to the conclusion that this is anywhere approaching reality?

I can tell you that I put a lot of work into my appearance, and that it's an order of magnitude easier for me to find gay men who want to sleep with me than women who want to sleep with me (which I mention because my appearance is held constant). I'd post my photo here, but prefer to keep my anonymity, but many women (and men, too) are shocked to find out that I'm not easily able to sleep around.

There was a post on Tinder about a week ago, where a guy created fake male and female profiles. He found pictures of the hottest guy he could and used the pictures to create a fake profile (an athletic shirtless guy posing with puppies), and the guy got less than 1/10th as much attention as the fake profile of a hot girl. There's simply no male on the planet who can generate as much sexual desire at the top women. Gender is the major factor. Attractiveness obviously helps, but women are playing on easy mode compared to men when it comes to generating sexual attraction.

beta_cuck_autist · 2018-01-29T20:41:46+00:00

I'm pretty thin, job is physical labor, I see many, many fat women these days so yeah I'm a have to call bullshit on that.

America is full of fat asses, and I don't even live in the South.

dankweed · 2018-02-03T17:37:23+00:00

Attraction is kind of subjective though. They say you can find ugly fat guys with hot chicks. It makes no sense.

hellomydoggo · 2018-05-04T16:40:53+00:00

I agree with this 100%. Women do everything to get men, because we are looked down upon in society if you don't have a man (or many) interested in you. Some of the things women do to be attractive to men are actually pretty dangerous. The average man can get a beautiful woman if he has enough money or a good personality - preferably both. I find it odd though - despite casual sex being trendy, and less men are actually taking women on dates...some guys are STILL complaining. Like dude. There are APPS to find women who want to have sex. Websites and sexy cams filled with women to get you off. You are living your grandpapa's wildest dreams.

What is more, there are cultural expectations for women to do anything in her power to get married. Then keep the marriage going. Pop out however many kids he wants, but you better not get fat. Do all the housework and raise the kids, but don't you dare get tired. And you better have a 9-5 job too, because in this economy, who can afford to be a "stay at home" mom? All of this, and when your husband gets home, have kinky sex until he's satisfied.

I know a LOT of women like this. And then, men wonder why women initiate divorce so much these days. We were sexually unsatisfied and tired, we just couldn't leave! I genuinely hope more men think about women's side of this issue. Because the vast majority of them hold women to standards that they (and their friends) don't even meet.

[deleted] · 2018-01-29T05:22:14+00:00

and yet are somehow "confused" as to why women's sexual attraction dries up and why it feels like a "chore".

Usually I hear this sentiment expressed towards the behaviors the man has to put forward to keep her attracted, not the exercise and dieting

rreliable · 2018-01-29T09:44:17+00:00

The problem is, which you would know if you had ever spent time in an area where median income is below $60,000, is that obese women with horribly ugly faces spend much of their time pregnant because while they aren't attractive enough to get on Vogue, they're plenty attractive enough to continue getting pregnant the natural way.

Regardless of the "message" women might get that excessive makeup and low body weight is somehow necessary to become sexually attractive to males, the evidence is right there for all to see:

For women, attractiveness is optional if she wants to attract an average man.

If they believe that all the cosmetics and other wasted money is necessary to be sexually attractive, it's not because of the "message", it's because they failed to observe the world around them and note how it disproves the "message".

Taipanshimshon · 2018-01-29T14:57:59+00:00

nice shaming post.

but nope. I am at the gym regularly, know how to dress - etc etc.

Don't get me wrong though. I do get laid.

Money on plastic surgery?

the problem is women say that all that shit is "for them" to "feel sexier "

BS.

Hit the gym.

CasinoLucky · 2018-01-29T10:54:12+00:00

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Alfalfa121 · 2018-01-29T11:42:24+00:00

That is probably only a minor factor. You are ignoring that men’s workout routines tend to be more punishing than women’s, men’s suits cost a lot more than women’s clothes, and men diet as well. Men bulk, for example, and virtually no women bulk. I have both bulked AND cut, and I can tell you that bulking takes more effort and willpower than slimming. Also a CrossFit workout takes more discipline, willpower, and inflicts more pain than your typical yoga session.

Also, obesity rates in America are almost at par between genders if you use the BMI index and correct for body composition (muscular men are counted as obese in the BMI system, but almost no women would be muscular enough to cause this error). So your argument that women are doing the majority of the dieting doesn’t seem to hold water.

Also I think men would spend more on vanity of there was something for us to spend it on. What is there for men? Hair replacement? It looks ridiculous!

Listen to this podcast of a woman to man transgender person describe what it feels like to be a man with 10 times thee testosterone of a woman knowing also what it feels like to be a woman with female thoughts. The results shocked her (him?)and me as well. Fact: men are just WAY more horny than women.

Link:

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/220/testosterone

Don’t believe me? Go on the sub Random acts of blowjob (or RAOB I think). Count how many of the offers are from women.

segagaga · 2018-01-29T13:40:09+00:00

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[deleted] · 2018-01-29T14:14:07+00:00

I'll C that V.

You want more sex? Be more attractive.

Where I think you're wrong is that women's sexuality is much more reactive and context dependent than men's is. It needs to be "turned on", and as you women constantly remind us, it takes much, much more than just a physically attractive, hotbody specimen to rev you up. It takes physical/sexual attraction AND charming AND good timing AND nice smile AND his leading it AND you can see it in his eyes AND compatible personality AND comfort AND you feel decent about yourself AND you're not on your period AND you're in a good mood AND the kids aren't screaming AND her parents are OK AND there are no pressing money problems AND whatever else she wants/needs at that moment.

reluctantly_red · 2018-01-29T15:30:51+00:00

Women want attractive guys -- that's pretty damn obvious. However, expensive cloths and fancy grooming have little or nothing to do with what makes a guy attractive. Basic hygiene is required but that's also pretty damn obvious. Beyond that the "amount of effort" a guy puts into getting ready is pretty much irrelevant.

Women want guys that are actually men not some dress doll. Two examples: I used to work for the local public works department. One day my crew went to McDonalds after fixing a water main break. I was wearing mud covered work clothes and hadn't shaved all week. I got the number of the counter clerk (her boss yelled at her for flirting with me). Another time I'd been riding my motorcycle all day and went straight to the bar in the evening. I was covered in dead bugs and road grime. Regardless, I still pickup up and went home with a very pretty young lady.

The problem a lot of guys have isn't that they haven't spent enough money on fancy cloths and worthless beauty products. The problem is that they've let themselves become soft, lazy, and effeminate. This is very easy to do in today's world. I'm certainly guilty of this. After I went to college and grad school I let myself become fat and lazy. The solution is not to become a better consumer -- the answer is to reclaim some of your lost masculinity.

Nu_Guy · 2018-01-29T16:05:07+00:00

While this is true, I argue emotional reasons are more of why women stop wanting to have sex in LTRs.

Firstly men present all of their positive attributes when trying to court a woman. As she gets to know him better she learns more of the negative and the fantasy starts to fade.

Most importantly IMO, to use a RP term , it happens when the guy fails her "shit tests". There is nothing that turns a woman off that I have seen quite like her feeling like you are a punk. If she takes control of the relationship and you give in to her every will, that is the main sex killer IMO.

mgtow_1 · 2018-01-29T06:43:17+00:00

They don't put in as much effort into their appearance because women are not as aroused by visual stimulus as are men.

oneprettycoolcat · 2018-01-29T07:04:03+00:00

Yeah, I was awfully lazy when I chose to be born the wrong ethnicity, short, and with my bones in a slightly different configuration that makes me hideous to women. Yep.

pinkgoldrose · 2018-01-29T07:25:23+00:00

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Alfalfa121 · 2018-01-29T13:55:06+00:00

How many men wear suits varies a lot by where you live. Where I live you would be hard pressed to find anyone past 25 without at least one suit for special occasions. A lot wear them almost every day to work.

As far as women’s clothes being more expensive, not when you compare apples with apples, then men’s clothes are slightly more expensive.

https://m.levi.com/US/en_US/products/125010229

https://m.levi.com/US/en_US/products/005012424

Jammerly1 · 2018-01-29T14:38:59+00:00

Honestly, I wish more of you WOULD feel self conscious enough about your bodies to be anorexic, but most of you are so arrogant you'd probably just sit behind your computer being a sweaty neckbeard and double fisting bags of Cheetos and declaring on TRP that "All women want are assholes" and "They're all probably sluts anyways". Or crying on the black pill about being an incel.

Joke's on you. I do this and still get laid like a rockstar. That's right - I'm that alpha.

[deleted] · 2018-01-29T17:31:34+00:00

No it's the testosterone.

Title	Women want less sex in relationships because men don't put nearly as much effort into being sexually attractive.
Author	Jammerly1
Upvotes	42
Comments	430
Date	January 29, 2018 5:19 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7tq3kd/women_want_less_sex_in_relationships_because_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-want-less-sex-in-relationships-because-men.263801 https://theredarchive.com/post/263801

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