Before marrying my wife, we had a brief talk about our sexual histories. It came up after I saw a book in the bookstore about anal sex, pointed it out to her jokingly, and she said "forget it, not happening", to which I replied "hey, don't knock it till you try it". She then said "I did, and wasn't crazy about it". She then said she had done it a few times.

So now I am like "OK, we need to have a talk about this girl's history".

So that night she told me a few things: that she had been pretty sexually active when she was younger, and even had an abortion at 18. I was an inch from breaking up with her right then and there, and I didn't cool off until the next morning. I came to terms with it, and we proceeded with our relationship, eventually marrying and having a couple kids.

But the issue came up again a couple years ago, when I wanted to spice things up in bed. I felt we were in a rut, being unimaginative, etc. Basically 2 positions and finish. I suggested a bunch of stuff, none of it particularly wild (writing each other dirty stories, light bdsm, roleplaying, anal, watching a tasteful dirty movie, spanking, etc.). She wasn't enthusiastic about much of any of it, especially the anal. So then I started thinking "I am her husband, and I don't get the treatment old boyfriends did?".

(for the record, I had never even done anal, but wanted to try it)

But here is where it gets tricky. I asked her last night how many previous sex partners she had before we married. She said 12 to 15 (I imagine it is higher, and the fact that she gives me a range is troublesome). I've had 7

And I thought about this stuff, and concluded that IF she were adventurous now in bed, and spontaneous, my issues with her sexual past wouldn't even exist. It is BECAUSE she is now dolling out vanilla sex, while I wonder what crazy stuff she did in her youth, that I have an issue. If the bedroom were an exciting place, I would simply say "her experience is to my benefit". But it isn't.

has anyone else felt this way (man or woman)?