If you don't want women to see you as Mr boring safe guy, why do you act boring and safe?

satanic_hamster · 2020-01-20T14:49:48+00:00

Because at the end of the day, I want to be at home, cozy in my sanctuary and doing the things I actually care about rather than whatever stupid shit THOTs find exciting.

reluctantly_red · 2020-01-20T14:55:35+00:00

Because being a dancing monkey to impress some woman is demeaning. It's also unlikely to work. Your boring personality isn't the reason she doesn't want fuck you -- it's the fact you're not hot enough.

Hit the gym and stop being a dancing monkey.

trueorfalsedmitry · 2020-01-20T15:15:38+00:00

Here,

"fun" = be a fucking asshole, at best. Be something a random woman thinks a "fun" man is, regardless of any outside criteria, at worst.

"boring" = being a goddamn grown-up.

"safe" = being unattractive enough that no woman fears you other options

Being "boring and safe" is not the problem. Being only boring and safe is.

NockerJoe · 2020-01-20T16:05:37+00:00

I go to concerts. I go to local venues. I go to boxing matches. But on my average weekend I'm at home because sometimes you just wanna boot up a minecraft server and bullshit with your Discord Bros.

If I have to be constantly doing non boring shit or I'm Mr. Boring then fuck that.

OverEasyFetus · 2020-01-20T14:52:13+00:00

Probably because most men are raised to be boring and safe. It's good for parents (a quiet docile kid is the easiest to raise), and good for society/business (easier for powerful people to control). People who aren't boring/safe tend to either be lowlifes with little to lose or wealthy people who can afford to take risks.

mgtowalternate · 2020-01-20T15:50:48+00:00

"Just put on a edgy, bad boy performance for the rest of your life bro. It's that easy"

Eastuss · 2020-01-20T15:14:38+00:00

I don't know what it means for you to not be "Mr boring safe guy". Because most very attractive men are "safe" and boring and still get treated like Alpha Fucks.

The answer: Priorities and risk/reward.

We don't have the genetic and material resources to be Mr Alpha Chad wild life. And even if we tried, the risk would be too high for the very poor reward.

The deal is pretty simple. We offer commitment you offer sex. Why do you think it is normal to expect no sex when you offer commitment? Why are the ones getting sex the ones who don't offer commitment? SMH you should be asking women "If you want long lasting commitment, why do you act like boring?"

Throughawayman80808 · 2020-01-20T14:59:35+00:00

Because they're lazy and scared. Not to mention changing your whole personality is a difficult ordeal that some people even consider to be immoral.

lonelinessmademecave · 2020-01-20T17:26:49+00:00

These comments in general are a bit defensive. Me? I’m all for it. I expect my burgeoning alcoholism and spiraling manic depression to reel in the ladies any day now. It’s all apart of sexual strategy.

akaean · 2020-01-20T15:00:56+00:00

Posts like this are misleading because they conflate two competing definitions of 'safe'. There is a difference between someone 'feeling safe' when they are with you, and being seen as a ' safe back up plan'. The way you worded this question is (maybe unintentionally) designed to conflate two definitions into a single one.

'Safe' is a funny word isn't it? It can mean different things depending on context.

One thing that I like is when my partner feels safe when she is with me. I want her to feel comfortable, secure, and protected when she is with me.

Sometimes people use the word 'safe' to mean a back up plan, or second choice that someone knows they can get- something they might not want as badly but a sure thing they can count on.

These are two different definitions.

What does Mr. Boring Safe Guy mean? Does it mean a person your SO feels safe with, or does it mean a back up choice? Are you proposing that these are the same thing? What do words mean? Are you always this reckless with language?

2020-01-20T15:46:20+00:00

I'm fine with being mr boring safe guy if that goes along with sexual attraction

I'm fine with a chick being boring and safe and -- assuming she's attractive -- i'll stick want to fuck her daily.

The notion that women will never ever want to fuck you unless you're a drug dealer who cheats, gets stds and is in and out of jail is a myth. You can be "safe" without being boring, in fact I think most women want a man who is safe and will still feel attracted to him.

Ofc some women are low FTO thrill seekers but w/e, so are a lot of men. Let them have each other.

I mean, to me boring and safe are two different things. I've known some gang members and drug dealers and loose women in my hoodlum days and guess what, they were boring. All they fuckin knew to do was get in fights, drink, play pool, smoke, cheat, beat and yell at their accidental kids, and basically sit around waiting for the local gang leader to tell them what to do, so they can land in jail in a few months.

Some women dig that vibe... cool for them. For me, i'd rather have a woman who wants to talk about books and art and philosophy and deep shit, which will just cause your average "dangerous" person's eyes to glaze over. So yeah. People have different definitions of boring.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-01-20T15:08:53+00:00

Because they literally don't know how to be fun and they know it, is what I'm concluding from the answers.

It takes too much creativity, social skills, flexibility and excitement, so they settle for "boring but stable" and just stay indoors where they can complain about it from the anonymous safety of the internet.

You can't teach someone how to be fun. You just have fun or you don't.

41013 · 2020-01-20T20:55:52+00:00

Exactly. If you want to be pursued and sexually desired, you have to put yourself out there and be...sexy. Do you think those frat bro’s are getting laid because they are studying public policy or social work and hanging out in the library?

Salty-Bastard · 2020-01-20T15:38:47+00:00

We used to call it "sense of adventure" and "zest for life", sadly a lot of men have lost both of those. To be an interesting human one of the things you have to do is take a little risk, challenge yourself, and go experience things. It ain't gonna kill ya' and you might have a little fun, I guarantee you'll find out a lot about yourself that you didn't know before.

hammerhaunts · 2020-01-20T15:18:36+00:00

Because that's who you are in the absence of effort

verdantsound · 2020-01-20T15:38:17+00:00

so what are some examples of acting boring and safe and some examples of being exciting?

joesmithasdf · 2020-01-21T02:31:40+00:00

It’s a balancing act between safe and adventurous. Most people, women included, don’t want you in their vicinity if you vibe like a psychopath, but you won’t get casual sex if you vibe too boring, savvy?

Eastuss · 2020-01-20T14:57:57+00:00

[deleted]

RRBeachFG2 · 2020-01-20T15:18:27+00:00

Because we don't purposely inject danger into our lives to test people around us but to test ourselves when we feel up to the challenge?

Mystery_Tragic · 2020-01-20T15:57:37+00:00

I don't think I'll be boring and safe to the right woman. Trouble is the wrong woman might be charming enough, and me blind enough, for myself to get fooled.

Barely-moral · 2020-01-20T16:14:12+00:00

I am happier acting boring and safe. I learned to accept being seen as boring and safe. As long as I am getting what I want from my partner then I am ok with the situation.

dylang92 · 2020-01-20T16:33:22+00:00

Because there’s no other way for me to get sex. Being exciting and unsafe only works for attractive men, I am short and have plain features. No woman is going to want casual sex with me. Plus, an attractive guy won’t be seen as boring or safe even if he has those traits, he’ll always be seen as attractive. On a short, plain looking guy, those “bad boy” traits look dumb as hell, no woman will find them attractive whatsoever,

superincongruent · 2020-01-20T17:01:00+00:00

Party guy, booze/drugs, dancing, quit your job to go skiing, all that stuff plays well when you're in your 20s. By the time you get to your 30s, it pays off being the the stable guy with a decent job women can settle down with and make babies. At least I started seeing a better class of women. And you can still 'turn it on' sometimes if you want to.

wtknight · 2020-01-20T17:02:05+00:00

I don't want women who don't want boring and safe guys anyway because the women who like dangerous guys usually have issues themselves.

WiterS2 · 2020-01-20T17:19:06+00:00

Men are taught all of his life to be boring and safe. That's why the red pill shocks them.

A man talks to a woman? That's harassment!

That child is too playful at school? Drug him to be tame!

2020-01-20T17:31:09+00:00

I dont and it works great

2020-01-20T17:38:06+00:00

Because I have a lot to lose and little to no safety net around to catch me if I make a lot of royal screw ups. Women seem to always have more people around them willing to support them.

thedeadpill · 2020-01-20T18:41:31+00:00

"Just change your personality."

That's way easier said than done. People's enduring personality traits don't generally change; it usually takes trauma, and then half the people self-destruct instead of change.

Sometimes you think someone changed, but realistically, you probably just didn't know them as well as you thought.

OverEasyFetus · 2020-01-20T19:39:33+00:00

Because bills need to be paid.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-01-20T19:49:20+00:00

Because jail is worse than fucking prostitutes.

prodopro · 2020-01-20T19:58:36+00:00

Anxiety

ifelsedowhile · 2020-01-20T20:16:12+00:00

knowing the first 450 decimal figures of the PI number makes me boring?

Vynxe-Vainglory · 2020-01-21T12:09:47+00:00

I don’t.

I do legendary shit all the time.

If you’re not, well I guess you do you; but fuck that. You only get one life.

MuleFool42 · 2020-01-21T19:07:09+00:00

Most people are boring, so expecting something different than yourself is just wrong. Great if you can get it though. And if you want 'unsafe' then whatever happens is on you.

I'm fine being boring and safe and I don't mind being seen that way. If women don't like it, that's fine by me. I don't want to be anyone's 'settling' choice anyway.

AutoModerator · 2020-01-20T14:43:25+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2020-01-20T17:35:32+00:00

It often isn't about being boring and safe, it is presenting as such because women are great projectionists and will ascribe all sorts of attributes to guys based on looks and environment.

Not a single person in any of my social groups live as varied a lifestyle as I....going to things from hiking in the Rockies, to New Years Eve black ties in coastal South Carolina, to music festivals in eastern WashState to dinners, theater, and hosts of other things which interest me YET a constant refrain I hear is that the girls never would have expected such because the way that I naturally look...a beach going jock.

And in some situations, it works against me because so many girls are so basic that their idea of adventure is a going to the local university football tailgate or a dinner at a Rick Erwin's steakhouse. They have no sense of excitement or adventure at all. They end up getting with dudes who hate socializing or experiencing new things then just accustom themselves to that is their life...

One girl at my gym was in total love with her dweeb BF and they were planning to get married.....she was talking about how he would not take her to her favorite music artist concert even though he had played numerous times nearby, he had to conjole him to go on beach vacations or the mountains and that he told her when they got back from the one vacation that the rest of his vacation time was off limits for the rest of the year because he was using it for fishing trips and hunting season. And the less he was willing to do with her, the more obsessed and "in love" she was with the dude. It was a source of one of her great prides that he was so obstinate and unsocial. She was extremely thrilled that when he stopped by to check on her for 30mins with his bass boat in tow on the way to the lake when she was house bound because of some surgery gone bad.

So now throw out the usual tome about we didn't see the real dude and how he did all sorts of things for her which we didn't see and blah, blah, blah....I have fucked enough of the bored as shit GFs to know that it only last a while but you are kidding yourself that girls don't ascribe "exciting" to dudes that they have developed feelings for....it usually comes first not because the dude was exciting which caused the feelings.

Title	If you don't want women to see you as Mr boring safe guy, why do you act boring and safe?
Author	NalkaNalka
Upvotes	8
Comments	320
Date	January 20, 2020 2:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ere20r/if_you_dont_want_women_to_see_you_as_mr_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-dont-want-women-to-see-you-as-mr-boring.312895 https://theredarchive.com/post/312895

Comments