I was reading replies from non-cheating married who were asked why they had refrained from cheating on their wives. The overwhelming response?

Firefly10886 · 2020-03-05T07:56:51+00:00

I went out dancing with my girlfriends recently and some man came up to me, so I started dancing with him. He was twirling me around, I was tipsy and laughing - until I noticed the wedding ring. I asked him if he was married and he said yes. I immediately stopped dancing with him and told him to fuck off.

I am not that woman.

level_up_always · 2020-03-05T01:43:59+00:00

Just like being cheated on has nothing to do with you, men being faithful has nothing to do with you either. If they don't want to, they won't. If they do, they will. It's time we start learning from this and do what WE want and what's in our best interest like men do. My bf tells me he isn't interested in cheating because *he* would feel bad and *he* can't live with himself. Nothing to do with me. We should do things that make US feel good and not worry about their feelings.

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-03-05T08:12:20+00:00

It honestly makes me wonder what the point is in having a relationship with any man. Even if he’s HVM, I have to be on the lookout all the time and never relax 100%? Ugh THAT’S too much work for me.

thegypsybean · 2020-03-05T05:57:06+00:00

I have a friend who is a model, and not in the sense of an “Instagram model”. She’s represented by actual agency, blah blah all that. The point is, she met a man in his late twenties who found massive success in the tobacco industry. He wined and dined her, gave her her own black AMEX card or whatever the big bucks credit card is nowadays, buys her countless high end items, and treats her like a queen.

The secret? She loves him, but she never reveals all the cards emotionally. To him, there’s still that air of mystery. She showed me their text messages, and occasionally she does send long messages, but for the most part she still doesn’t act too available two years into this relationship. To this day, she still treats him like she doesn’t like him much and that she 100% has plenty of other options if he fucks up.

butterflymeadowzz · 2020-03-05T02:07:46+00:00

If you want to keep a man, you can’t like him much.

2020-03-05T01:54:27+00:00

She who loves least has the most power.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-03-05T01:58:34+00:00

The reason men do or don’t cheat is because of opportunity. Now a days men have much more Opportunity because of social media. A rich ugly guy and a poor good looking guy can have women throwing themselves at them because their are enough pickmeishas out there. Men don’t have a moral compass. They don’t care. The only thing they care about is ego, they never cheat on that.

randomgirlimok · 2020-03-05T02:39:35+00:00

Well the men on Reddit are not what I would call HVM, and are here for the porn

LadyGislenFairchild · 2020-03-05T02:11:02+00:00

Wait, replies where? Was this pool of LVM found on Reddit or was it an actual randomized sample survey done in the real world?

juliannawackenhat · 2020-03-05T01:41:23+00:00

This is some depressing shit.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-03-05T02:41:33+00:00

I think these guys wanted to cheat but also the women they wanted didn’t want them. They probably were shooting for Jessica Albas when they were in Danny Devito territory. Nothing against him.

They probably could spot their low effort from a mile away. In their heads they probably expected it to be easy like it is in movies and porn

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-03-05T01:58:43+00:00

This is also a reminder of how important it is to thoroughly vet a man before sleeping with him as he could be a married man telling lies. It should be extremely difficult / impossible for married men to cheat. Because apparently it being too much work to cheat is their main reason for not doing it as per this...🙁

Maisiebr · 2020-03-05T10:28:42+00:00

The best response from a man I've seen somewhere else was still selfish, albeit better than the cesspool of askmen. He said that being faithful to him meant that he was being faithful to his values, which included cheating being immoral and violation to another person. He didn't cheat because he wanted to maintain his integrity. If none of the men consider they won't cheat on me because they care about me and love me, I might as well choose a man who has morals, but I will keep in mind that he does it for himself above anything else.

MoreMochaPlease · 2020-03-05T04:28:44+00:00

Men are as only faithful as their options allow.

letsberealforamoment · 2020-03-05T01:51:26+00:00

The universe has blessed us with more productive areas upon which to give our devoted affections and care: children, parents, neices, nephews, siblings, friends, Jesus, Gaia, pets, grandparents.

The list is truly endless :)

Why lavish affection on a man that only loves his dick, and who only loves you for what YOU DO FOR HIM (and his dick of course).

BlueberryOrchid95 · 2020-03-05T02:55:35+00:00

This makes me want to stay single forever that’s so horrible. I’d rather have a sperm donor baby than marry a guy who acts like I’m not loved

honeydewmelonz · 2020-03-05T02:08:56+00:00

It hurts at first but the sooner women realize, the better.

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-03-05T04:18:02+00:00

If you haven't already, please check out Chump Lady's website. There are countless stories of men and women who were cheated on. The commonalities of the "cheater's personality" are notable, like they use the same playbook (men and women). The men sharing stories of "being chumped" are often the ones doing the emotional work/provider labor. Male "chumps" often share how they have morals/real love for their wives that made them faithful. These HVM completely fell apart when their LVW wives cheated. The LVW were too selfish to consider others' needs and prioritized the high of deception/"the forbidden"/"adventure" over their husbands' well-being.

I will say this once and many times in the future: take heart, as cheating is an issue of character.

If you pulled answers from men of reddit, maybe they were particularly lazy and maybe didn't have character you would want in your version of a HVM. Maybe they emphasized the insane amount of energy to engage in deception and covering one's tracks without highlighting the charactee issues. I know men who would never cheat because it's wrong and that is enough for them.

I believe you that your sample of men said what they said, but I hope you don't lose hope that good men with good character are out there. Some men have strong father figures, social modeling, and life experiences that help with character development. Life is too short to assume all men are like the ones on reddit (even if most are...definitely not all).

2020-03-05T06:20:22+00:00

Posts like this make me lose hope on finding a good partner

popfriday · 2020-03-05T03:24:23+00:00

Wait...but did you ask if these men had easy opportunity to cheat?

It’s too much work sounds like “The hot secretary wasn’t down for my dick so I didn’t”.

UnableAntelope3 · 2020-03-05T11:00:19+00:00

This is why I'm staying single and a virgin for the rest of my life. So fucking selfish

Lizadeviza · 2020-03-05T15:37:49+00:00

You know it's weird how mgtow believe this same thing only reversed. Just listen to this guy. He believes women can't love because they are hypergamous and would date up if they could. https://youtu.be/IWt-uTLqz24

SarcasmSlide · 2020-03-05T06:30:38+00:00

“A man is only as faithful as his options.” Chris Rock

moosecakies · 2020-03-05T07:10:00+00:00

This does NOT surprise me in the least. Men are LAZY AF and THATS the ONLY reason they don’t cheat. If it’s easy though (he’s good looking with money ) you can bet he will !

lillycrack · 2020-03-05T11:18:08+00:00

There’s a reason women who love women have their own separate term for it (Lesbian) rather than just relying on the term previously used for men (gay). Female love is different.

2020-03-05T12:46:53+00:00

This is genuinely depressing.

greenappletw · 2020-03-05T07:53:02+00:00

Love these kinds of posts.

A big thing I've been grappling with is that the way I love people, the way the women in my life love me...men are just not capable of that exact thing.

I'd rather have my eyes open and know how to protect myself instead of either deluding myself or giving up on any relationship.

I like the idea of always keeping one foot on the ground at all times

BabyGotBantz · 2020-03-05T13:04:30+00:00

This post seems overly pessimistic. I agree guarding your heart, and having your own life and way to make money is the best thing you can do in case stuff goes south. Because there are no guarantees in life. But constantly thinking men are probably cheating when they’re not can actually drive them away from you.

I’m not going to not show my husband I love him because I’m afraid. That’s not love. He shows me he loves me everyday. He’s vulnerable and open with me. I know he’d never cheat. I have enough self-worth and confidence to know he can’t do better and he showers me with love and affection. You have to date/marry someone who knows you are the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to them and is afraid to ever lose you. Anything less and they’ll probably stray.

Not all men are vile pieces of shit, there are just an abundance out there. I’ve dated a lot of them. The trick is to find a guy with compassion and empathy for others. Don’t be with someone who is selfish and cares a lot about his own needs. That person is likely to be selfish when it comes to sex.

I’ve seen guys say “no” to attractive women who wanted to have sex because they were with someone they loved. I’ve seen guys say “no” to casual sex that they were not emotionally invested in.

I’ve seen my parents marriage go 38 years and counting with no infidelity.

Men are capable of being good husbands and fathers we have to hold them to a higher standard.

Title	I was reading replies from non-cheating married who were asked why they had refrained from cheating on their wives. The overwhelming response?
Author	sadpourtoujours
Upvotes	577
Comments	100
Date	March 5, 2020 1:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fdnnjq/i_was_reading_replies_from_noncheating_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-was-reading-replies-from-non-cheating-married.680888 https://theredarchive.com/post/680888

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