Everywhere I look

tragicaddiction · 2023-04-30T15:23:13+00:00

of course it's our fault,

how often do you hear of a married women take responsibility for how she acts, it's all a reaction to how we are apparently.

and if you apologize for what you did, then it just cements the idea that it is indeed all our fault.

I think it's a combination of many things today

1) not as much financial need to stay together, she wins the lottery when getting divorced. not only from spouse but from supports

2)dating apps where she will get a lot of attention no matter what.. so makes her think she is more valuable than she really is.

3)too many romance movies/shows / podcasts / media saying she deserves to be happy and it's all up to guys to make her feel that way. She's a princess and needs to be treated that way.

4)no stigma anymore for women to be divorced but rather is celebrated and cheered for getting rid of that good for nothing husband.

guys on the other hand tend to be more logical, see an issue we can fix we will do it. strong connection to wanting to keep a family together and have a deep drive to have a happy family and are willing to sacrifice our own happiness for so long.

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2023-04-30T15:33:05+00:00

About half of all marriages end in divorce. Almost 80% of the time, the wife files for divorce. For wives with at least a bachelor's degree, the number is almost 90%. The family court system overwhelmingly gives primary custody to the mother (over 80% of the time). Also, since men generally earn more than their wives, alimony is typically paid by men (with some exceptions and that reality is getting slightly better for men). To add to that, women can walk away with a large chunk of the marital assets and are financially supplemented by receiving child support and alimony. Modern marriage is a crap shoot these days at best, and the odds don't favor the man. Women have incentives to divorce.

CB33isGMC · 2023-05-01T05:11:01+00:00

I was doing my customary half-assed wave the other day when my neighbor came over to initiate conversation. He was saying goodbye, his wife had filed for divorce and they would be selling the house. He’s leaving immediately while she and the kids remain for a time.

The guy is heartbroken. They were high school sweethearts. Hardworking dude that owns his own trucking company. I felt bad for my kids because they are good friends with his.

Last year a sister of mine left her husband, the father of her children. Great dude, hardworking, handsome. Small business owner. He was always doing sweet nothings for her that seemed corny as hell to me.

My wife left me a few years ago. We’d had kids young and came up together. I worked full time while we both finished school. We found great careers and had the perfect home in the perfect neighborhood. We had bright, athletic children. I coached the kids’ sports teams in between working two jobs. You couldn’t have told me I wasn’t Superman. Lol, yeah right. It was all in vain.

Women across this country are devastating families and destroying good men’s lives on a whim.

Remember that the next time some divorced hag inquires “where did all the good men go”?

They don’t want good men.

PatThePiper · 2023-04-30T15:55:48+00:00

I filed for divorce about 4 months ago. I currently have temporary full-time custody of my two small kids and possession of the marital house. We were married for 16 years. She never worked and claimed to be the victim of such a horrible marriage, so I finally gave her what she always wanted. Served her the papers at my son's birthday party. She is now living with her mom and working at Savers as a brand new customer service trainee. Is this what I wanted? Nope. I tried for years to work on myself all the meantime working full-time. Giving her anything she wanted. It was never good enough. She started seeing some guy she knew in high school and claims to be finally happy. Well, I say have fun with that. I'm going to continue to be a badass and work on myself. Lift weights. Run. Get my Masters degree. I'm convinced they all have some sort of brain damage.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2023-04-30T17:59:03+00:00

Women initiate 70%+ of all divorces. They are hardwired to look elsewhere for provisioning, parental involvement and protection. Add into the mix a female-correct gynocentric social order which reinforces to women that they can do no wrong and the world should cater to their every whim. Open Hypergamy and Hybristophilia are celebrated in the West.

Bipolar_investor · 2023-04-30T17:04:54+00:00

It's not your fault. You did your best, and she loves herself more than she loved you.

Move on bro, and out your energy in taking care of yourself as if you were someone else going forward.

ProcedureAltruistic3 · 2023-04-30T19:11:57+00:00

Bro mine did the same. Says it was better for everyone because now everyone is happier. She's happier getting some strange, the 3 kids and I are all miserable. But that shows who really matters. Her happiness dictates the direction of the rest of us. I hate when she says no one was happy, because it's clear all she wanted was a relationship with her AP and the rest of us suffering for it is irrelevant. My advise, when you inevitably meet someone else, remember this when you think about getting remarried and don't make the same mistake twice.

Alternative-Card-270 · 2023-04-30T17:06:04+00:00

But maybe that’s the answer. Men need to raise their standards and women lower theirs and meet in the middle. Men are too easily manipulated through sex and just like she’s hot so I’ll do whatever. Need to look for more depth and someone bringing more to the table while women need a reality check and real life men and how it’s impossible for someone to check off every box and have 0 flaws

joemoorcarz · 2023-04-30T20:05:01+00:00

It's an unfortunate thing that our society blames all martial problems on the husband. Even an unfaithful wife can blame her affairs on her husband and get away with it. He must have some how caused it.

This creates a situation where women are encouraged to leave instead of working on the relationship. My mother and father had problems aplenty but they worked on solving them together. I'm much older then the average poster here but I find few women my age and even fewer younger who are willing to take any responsibility for martial problems.

Consequently divorce is on the rise.

BaldieGoose · 2023-04-30T20:50:26+00:00

It's not you bro. Same thing happened to me. These women are just extremely entitled and selfish.

pharmd718 · 2023-05-01T10:02:03+00:00

Wife’s these days are being bombarded by feminists who try to convince them that they will be happy on their own. On TV shows, men are seen as idiots and the woman as the smart one making all the right decisions. Most women by nature are selfish creatures and more women tend to be sociopaths than men (that’s why it’s so easy for them to make a drastic decision without considering the pain and life long damage they will cause their kids).

The best revenge is to grant them their wish. Then watch them go from one failed relationship to the other and settle into their shit box apartment, drive their piece of shit car, and work till they are 70.

You as a man have many options. Your ex will only have men willing to sleep with her…nothing more. It’s exceptionally rare these days that a man will want to marry….especially a divorced middle aged woman with kids. Men have become wiser to women’s nature and divorced men find their voices being heard by more and more men. We all know that over 50% of marriages end in divorce, another statistic is that only 30% of marriages are happy ones.

treshsocket · 2023-04-30T16:12:06+00:00

Marriage benefits women, divorce benefits women, u still surprised they go for both?

jujumber · 2023-04-30T17:09:28+00:00

Yep, I honestly think most of the time it has to do with hormonal changes. Right around 40 woman seem to completely change. switching Birth control has also been known to change the type of guy woman are interested in.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2023-04-30T21:38:42+00:00

It’s the rise of feminism and the thought that women can survive by them self with no man. Kinda ironic how they have to take everything from us to survive in the real world

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2023-05-01T15:30:27+00:00

My story is as typical as any, late 30's for us both, 2 kids, great careers and an easy life ahead of us as I busted my rear end to get us way ahead financially. Then one day, she pulls the "I'm not happy and I feel like roommates line" and I tried to frantically "save us". Well, come to find out she had an affair ongoing with Old Man Balls AP and they were plotting on how to "be together forever". 5 months later and a great lawyer, I'm out on the other side but not without reflecting how much is really lost not to mention the impact downstream to our kids. I'm back to rebuilding and I estimate 2 years to get back ahead but it's just so freaking frustrating. Not to mention despite being a good husband and dad, the people I thought were family (inlaws) discarded me like a piece of trash.

I honestly shake my head, I was truly blindsided as we had a good marriage until she decided she was unhappy for so long. To throw out a good life for a twice divorced, serial cheater dead beat dad who is much older and makes way less.....I just shake my head.

Error-Original · 2023-04-30T18:47:55+00:00

Women are robot sharks. Yes they are emotional so youd think far from being a computer, but they are so emotional they basically circle back to being programmable or at least predictable. If it feels good to her then it is absolutely the right thing. Yes a family will be torn apart, so what? Its what she wants and thats all that matters. Loyalty is just a word to women. Its just a word on a page that means nothing more than its utility. For example when she can call you disloyal. They know what it means as a definition and know how to use it in the real world, but the idea means nothing to a woman.

Retying3043 · 2023-04-30T16:14:46+00:00

Women initiate divorce 70% of the time.

No religion, no tradition, no ideology will eradicate female nature. When conditions are right for her to express it, she will.

NoLawfulness8554 · 2023-05-01T19:14:32+00:00

Roughy 80% of divorces are initiated by women. If she is college educated then it’s 90%. At dinner two weeks ago, 4 of them s in a group of 12 are divorcing. ALL were initiated by the wives. ALL.

Timely_Froyo1384 · 2023-05-06T17:02:04+00:00

Marriage takes two people. So logically it’s both persons fault, no matter what anyone says or assignments of guilt.

The only time this changes is actual physical or verbal abuse.

Alternative-Card-270 · 2023-04-30T16:59:07+00:00

You are 100% right and the comment made by tragic addiction is probably the most accurate thing I have ever read. Here is the problem with modern marriage/dating. Women want to get rid of the traditional women gender roles while subjecting men to those traditional standards. For example:

1.) Men must pay for all dates, financially provide, make more money than the woman, be extremely fit. These are the typical roles we are expected. 2.) Women have dropped cooking, cleaning, childcare, and loyalty as part of their traditional values (granted I think loyalty was traditional for all gender roles) 3.) Men are expected now to share all of point 2s responsibilities while also doing all of the above for 1. 4.) Modern women are unrealistic and don’t ever date down meaning they date/marry more attractive/wealthier/more educated men than them only because we have gotten too far in women power movement. I’m all for feminism, but at a point we have gotten to a point where it’s women can do what they want while men are constantly judged, held responsible, and punished for their actions by the world while women aren’t.

Overall, I thing tragicaddiction is right. Women don’t believe in loyalty and are more likely to cheat. I blame current movies and shows for pushing this live life happy and Instagram for influencing this instant gratification ideology. It pushed when hard times come, flee and do what makes you happy. Like that Sex Life show is a perfect example. Also, think about ok tik tok how many of the women are open marriages. Not that that’s a bad thing. If that’s your thing and it works cool, but too many decide that is what they want afterwards. Women just aren’t loyal and want to have multiple connections. I used to never understand people who don’t get married, but now I do.

My story: I’m at 9 months separation of my year before divorce. Wife cheated on me after some trauma she had that caused her to spiral. I tried to work through it and really started going to therapy to help her like I had been for the trauma. We were about to buy a house. I asked her after the cheating are you sure you are 100% in on us before we buy. She says yes so we get that and pump 20k into the house. 2 months into living in the new house she says I think I’m bisexual and don’t see you as sexually attractive. Complained about my weight. Sure I’m not 100% jacked or fit. I’m an average to slight above average 6’4 210 lb male. I’ve always been built like this. It was never brought up until this point body shaming me. She claims she wants to do BDSM stuff, and I never tried for her. She never brought up that is what she wanted as I was fine to do whatever. Anyways asks for separation after 2 therapy sessions that went well by what she said and I said and therapist. Then starts going on dates day 1 of separation. She now likes to blame me for the divorce by saying my weight and build plus me not loving her enough and doting on her. Granted the last 2 years I raised our child mostly myself as I allowed her to travel for work for her first big woman job where she traveled 2 weeks a month while I was still the bread winner, going to grad school. I definitely had things I can work at and will work at next marriage, but sometimes I just believe people are shitty and this new modern woman is all what have you done for me lately and if I am not a princess while having to do less and then not treat you like a prince or king then screw you. Women only date up and men date down that’s the problem. How often do you see a man dating someone more attractive/successful than him and getting away with a stay at home or lesser job career vs. if the roles were reversed? Less than probably 10%. On the flip you see plenty of women who get that treatment. Then if the relationship ends they have this delusional expectation and this is why you have women saying they want/expect a 6’2 extremely fit guy, who makes over $200k a year but also will not have to work to much so he can take care of his 50% of the stuff at home even though she is allowed to make $30k and only do her 50% of the house stuff while having tons of free time and spending your money. Expectations women low; expectations men high.

Trick_Garbage9235 · 2023-05-01T07:02:35+00:00

It’s a fact that women mostly initiate divorce so that’s probably why you’re seeing it everywhere. I’ve also learnt recently that it seems to be a lot of women just decide to check out and don’t want to fight for the family, just give up and it’s all about their ‘happiness’ or ‘spiritual well-being’

Ncfc48 · 2023-05-01T08:23:21+00:00

This is one of the best posts I've read for ages great work lads

cleats4u · 2023-05-01T15:38:14+00:00

This has been going on for decades now. The only difference is the internet came along and allowed men to talk about it. Before that it was talked about softly in bars. You didn't want to piss the bar maid off and have her stop serving you. Or tell the other women not to date you because you're a misogynist. Lol.

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-05-01T20:33:57+00:00

All good here till the wee man arrived....2nd day she and her whole family againts me. I'm isolated...lost my family before I even born dso had a bad upbringing.No friends either. She beat me and handeled me like im a 12 yrs old...possibly chat on me too while she went on Holiday alone while I worked 50+ hrs to pay bills n house. Ran into a narcissitic family...me ended up homeless for months lost my house and my stabilitás. Struggling whit mental health issues (abadonment issues,Social Aexity and high functioning depression.)obviusly not getting it on NHS due im a man in his 30s so I can't afford it either...barely upkeep whit bills(eat once a day and still....nvm any other bare minimum) Pretty much thats it. She got everything I've lost everything so now im just flying on Autopilot....hope fuel ran out soon cuz its exhausting.

out-the_door · 2023-05-01T23:15:02+00:00

I no longer care about my STBX's reasons for leaving, as there were no valid ones.

As the song goes "she got the gold mine, I got the shaft".

I prob. should have gone with a female attorney; or at least a lawyer that might have advised/protected me a little better.

TakeBackWhat · 2023-05-02T11:30:07+00:00

YouTuber Aaron Clarey hits this societal note a lot. Check out “why women don’t need you” or the totally different “No, again, women don’t need you”.

TakeBackWhat · 2023-05-02T11:58:17+00:00

Got a good laugh out of something the super sloppy cheating STBXW reposted today:

“Sometimes your existence is triggering for some people. The fact that you are clear on who you are and who you are not can be intimidating.

You didn’t “do” anything.”

Let’s unpack this:

-The non-accountability, one size fits all, buzzy yet authentically empowering meme industry is booming baby! I’ve built up a substantial long position, plus tons of call options. This is Gamestock 2.0 guys, trust me.

-I wouldn’t call the human personification of pure and complete personal betrayal “triggering” per se, I’d probably go with my longer version. Dom Draper-level reframe and recast here, I’m actually in awe in some perverse way.

-Re: who you are* and are not** (note to self: ARE = selfish lying cheat, family anhillator.. ARE NOT = loyal, truthful, even tacitly remorseful)

Lastly, that quaint little “you didn’t “do” anything is an early Oscar favorite. Daytime Emmy, all of that. Gotta love Award season!

Electrical_Media_367 · 2023-04-30T16:52:32+00:00

Divorce is all part of the plan for women. Women are not emotionally fulfilled by monogamy and they know it, so they get the marriage done, secure the paycheck, and then move on. Most women plan the divorce the moment they meet a guy , if not well before.

godolphinarabian · 2023-04-30T17:38:07+00:00

Men are leaving wives too. If the wife earns more or leads more, her husband is more likely to leave her.

There are people of both genders who latch onto another person and expect that person to make them happy or provide for them like a parent. Happiness comes from within.

There are also plenty of men who just wanted a caretaker they can f*** and leave the minute their wives get sick or otherwise need real support from them. Men seem to unilaterally suck at caregiving and will drop a wife who supported him through cancer, medical school, whatever as soon as she doesn’t pony up the mothering and the sex because she’s struggling. Maybe the guy has a good paycheck but sometimes the wife needs emotional support from her partner. You can’t buy emotional support.

A marriage is a partnership. Not a paycheck, a parent, nor a neverending source of ego fluffing and sex.

One_Cartographer_465 · 2023-05-09T20:16:51+00:00

Simple statistics. (At least in America) Men propose 80% of the time. Women initiate the divorce 80% of the time. Men have nothing to gain and everything to loose in a marriage, women the opposite; everything to gain, nothing to loose in marriage. There is no incentive to stay married when you will get 1/2 or better of everything you husband earned.

Title	Everywhere I look
Author	73mpestMusB
Upvotes	57
Comments	114
Date	April 30, 2023 2:42 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/133tq1g/everywhere_i_look/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/everywhere-i-look.1217860 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217860

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