She seems to be struggling...

silmarp · 2023-10-12T14:44:26+00:00

Remember to always be radiant when dropping the kids. If possible take your younger fwb with you and be all smiles to the kids.

FairCar7137 · 2023-10-11T00:39:53+00:00

God this makes me happy af.

sixtysixpixistix · 2023-10-10T20:07:41+00:00

Trying so fucking hard not to be bitter rn. Saying 'I told you so' is not worth the headache.

LonelyNC123 · 2023-10-10T17:51:14+00:00

Yeah. Funny, is it not, when they realize how hard life is. They realize what they lost only when you are gone.

ciscopimp2 · 2023-10-10T17:26:33+00:00

I have found the quickest way to lose a woman's respect is to pay for everything. If they have no skin in the game, there is no incentive for them to actively participate in the relationship. I made sure my ex-wife worked because I didn't want her to be able to use the alimony instrument. We also split the mortgage, so there was an even responsibility.

Ruggiard · 2023-10-10T15:59:42+00:00

be strong buddy, these thoughts will become less and less intense. One day, you will be at peace with them or even able to forgive her. You're on the right path: Schadenfreude is a starting point. It will move to pity for her shortcomings as you get stronger. Ultimately, it might be indifference to her flaws, the realization that you are your own person and the acceptance that she was part of your story. Not less, not more.
I believe that holding grudges hurts you more than others

CrazySanta7 · 2023-10-10T15:37:18+00:00

This is awesome. My ex seemed to be living the good life a year after, but i think reality came crashing down. She looked horrible after that. I think many women regret divorce, but they refuse to admit it. In my experience, most women do not take accountability. I think its like a new job. Women think the new 'job' (her new man) is going to be awesome, but after a year she realizes that new 'job' comes with the same b.s. aa the last one, and in many cases, it's worse.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-10-10T11:45:40+00:00

Reminds me of my STBX says she deserves majority parenting time and she will get whats equitable, constantly giving up her time to me already and new schedule isn't even two months old, how the hell do you need a sitter on your off week when you only have our daughter for 6 hours that week

Taici · 2023-10-10T10:34:30+00:00

Oh well

theowawayforme555 · 2023-10-10T05:56:01+00:00

Sounds like my ex who would go around boasting about how strong and independent she is (so long she had my credit card in her pocket). Now that she doesn’t have my credit card anymore she’s not so strong and independent after all.

She might even be forced by her mommy and daddy to get a JOB! Oh no! The J word! How dare I say it out loud! Yup! Mommy and daddy aren’t too happy footing her bill and now she might have to work for a living…

reallyconfused2323 · 2023-10-10T04:36:34+00:00

The cock carousel and the wall are undefeated.

IRatherBeS1eeping · 2023-10-10T02:59:18+00:00

lol awe queen entitlement has to get off that pedestal.

NoWalrus5028 · 2023-10-10T02:50:51+00:00

1990s Cartoon Villain laugh before commercial break: 😈😂😂😈😂😈😂😈😂😈😂😈😂😈

TakeBackWhat · 2023-10-10T00:32:17+00:00

Wait, are we naming names now? Please say yes. I’m ready.

Ncfc48 · 2023-10-09T20:50:47+00:00

Same here my ex wife is always saying how tired she is how skint she is (no money for anyone outside the UK) you might use that term? She says she struggles with our son he is now 12 starting to work things out so overall good effort for a woman of 48 with multiple sclerosis All for nothing she tried to monkey branch to her friends husband our neighbours, sorry he was just a friend nothing to do with breaking our family up! She obviously got dumped then wanted to have ex husband back Why so woman not learn from all the other failed middle aged single mums

PokerFriend247 · 2023-10-09T20:50:36+00:00

You didn’t like my security future plan..

Now go away and make your own one,, just not at my expense.

Mine just created more expenses , not saved a single penny for the kids. Like the petulant child she is…. Now expects me to sort out her mess.

NO … I don’t think I will.

Weary_Landscape_7098 · 2023-10-09T19:48:09+00:00

The best part of my separation was when my ex sent me a bunch of texts several months after we separated, ranting about all the stuff around the house that broke after she kicked me out. It was a list of about 15 things that she either had to learn to fix herself, ask a friend to fix for her, or hire a professional to fix. I laughed and laughed.

What do you expect to happen when you kick out the guy who fixes everything?

dadplup · 2023-10-09T19:41:11+00:00

My ex was dumped by the man that was waiting for her after we separated, turns out she got catfished , she was homeless earlier this year, she won't work because she doesn't want to pay the back child support she owes, she managed to alienate her parents, 2 brothers, and all 3 of the kids, yet she thinks she's the victim. She's got npd , and blamed everything on me. Yet I would tell her this because she's the mother of my daughter, "just because we're not getting along it doesn't mean I want you to go hungry, I just don't want you sitting at my table"

The kids are 27,21 and 19 , they don't want anything to do with her either, the 2 eldest are my stepsons and don't really talk to me and I understand that,

ww3historian · 2023-10-09T19:09:18+00:00

It’s amazing how taken care of these women were. We shielded them from harshness of real life but they never appreciated it.
Life is a harsh teacher

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-10-09T18:32:48+00:00

Same old same old. They think the grass is greener and get a shock when reality comes knocking. When she eventually regrets her decision don’t you dare take her back. No man should ever accept being a second choice or bail out option.

Vegetable-Cap-2116 · 2023-10-09T18:08:06+00:00

Hell yeah. Mine, too! The hens in the hen house forgot to mention the part about having to take care of everything yourself.

jasoncb123 · 2023-10-09T18:05:21+00:00

Same here…….now she’s calling her 73 year old dad to come over and do things…..not my monkey, not my circus.

playerknowmore · 2023-10-09T17:53:32+00:00

I remember doing this math and was done with my marriage. My wife was nagging about small stuff. Pointing out what other men gave their families and we didn't have. Crazy thing was I made more money than other husbands. My mistake was that I didn't control the money. My check went into the account. As long as the bills were paid, I was good.

My wife was staying with her mom when I got the papers drawn. I guess after a month of her bashing me, my mother in law had enough. She did the marriage math for my wife. How many men who make six figures are not married. Of those how many wasn't broken from past relationships. Of them, how many were interested in women in their forties. She told her how many men would bear the load that I did for another man's family.

My mother in law told my wife that she married the best man she could get. She then pointed out how many women in her church made the same mistake she was about to make. How many of them noticed how well I treated her. She also mentioned how many had noticed that I wasn't accompanying her lately.

My wife was lucky because I was pretty much done when she did a one-eighty. She had a mother who wasn't afraid to tell her she was delusional. Where most men fuck up is we let them create narratives long enough for the narratives to seem plausible. I remember telling my wife if she could do better, I'll be okay. O then told her not to look for it at her job because I made more than her bosses boss.

lifeisallihave · 2023-10-09T16:44:04+00:00

Great stories all together! This place is awesome and let's keep it that way. We should try and not allow this place to become an echo chamber, regardless of what happened to us, let's be respectful. Just my two cents.

Also bye Katherine, you had it good for a while and ruined it all.

justme4556 · 2023-10-09T16:38:59+00:00

It's the best phase of post divorce in my opion. They are now learning their self worth in the world is what they can contribute. And it's not shit.

SpacemanLost · 2023-10-09T16:31:03+00:00

Over the years since my divorce, my ex - whom I had to deal with due to our kids and custody - would go through different phases of rewriting the past and our years together.

At first, when she was getting alimony and things hadn't fallen apart with her 'new' house and car that I had paid for, and she hadn't depleted the retirement account, she was a 'strong, independent woman' who was 'living her best life' (i.e. dropping the kids off with grandma and taking off to be with play partner of the week) and the narrative to others was a litany of ways of how I was useless or 'dragged her down'.

When alimony was over, and new hubby wasn't turning out to be able to provide anywhere near as much .. (that's funny Anne, weren't you constantly saying to my face that you could 'get a man who made twice as much as me' ? ) she would sometimes have these bouts of 'reminiscing about the good times we had shared' and bring it up unasked for when I was trying to keep discussion to the kids and only the kids.

The "good times" that she waxed poetically about were exclusively about what I had done for her and the lifestyle it gave her. I don't think she was ever self aware enough to realize that not once did her descriptions include anything that would have made me happy or I would have enjoyed or benefited from. And yet she acted like I would have a positive nostalgic reaction to that.

jimsmythee · 2023-10-09T15:55:06+00:00

Ha! Same thing here.

When I was divorcing her, I apparently was a fat, useless, lazy piece of sh1t. But her new boyfriend? He was the savior.

But years after divorce? She's struggling financially. Her boyfriend left her. Her new man left her. Her new-new man, married her, but then left her after 6 months. Her new-new-new man left her.

accountantbh · 2023-10-09T15:28:29+00:00

Well well, you tought that the grass was greener on the other side, didn't you? Shame on you, Katherine.

AlmostThere22 · 2023-10-09T15:18:54+00:00

Hell yeah. I think this happens a lot more than people think. Women go out and struggle to maintain the same lifestyle they had before.

Title	She seems to be struggling...
Author	ScaryJeweler637
Upvotes	132
Comments	89
Date	October 9, 2023 3:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/173u8uy/she_seems_to_be_struggling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-seems-to-be-struggling.1234536 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234536

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