"Jokes"

wagonwheel_ · 2021-01-21T17:51:54+00:00

I never had a man in my family start telling inappropriate jokes just because “I’m an adult now” after turning 18. If anyone had acted that way, my parents would have caused a whole scene.

This woman needs to ASSERT HER BOUNDARIES and/or leave. It’s that simple.

thruawoo90210 · 2021-01-21T16:48:48+00:00

Gross gross gross 🤮🤮🤮

misszazie · 2021-01-21T17:34:10+00:00

How normalized has grooming and casually sexualizing everything become that this didn't set off a hundred alarms for the mom and she questions herself and feels guilty?

FML throw the whole society away. He's a sick fucking pervert and every adult should see that.

feminologie_ · 2021-01-21T18:26:34+00:00

This is a major red flag, she needs to leave him asap for the sake of her daughter. My father started making disgusting sexual jokes as soon as I hit puberty and over the course of my teenage years it slowly escalated until he started inappropriate touching me. I felt so uncomfortable and violated but I didn't understand until years later that it was sexual abuse. My mom was often gone long hours and I never told her because I knew he would deny it or worse, blame ME for his disgusting actions.

Point is, if a grown man is mentioning anything sexual to a young girl, he is 100% depraved and you MUST kick him to the curb before his jokes turn into actions that cause a lifetime of psychological damage. It doesn't matter how many years you have been with him or how good your relationship is, your children must ALWAYS come first.

grayforamerica · 2021-01-21T17:00:26+00:00

He’s grooming her. OP needs to find a way for her and her daughter to get out immediately. Also, he’s definitely been doing this stuff before she was 18, but maybe now he’s getting bolder and the mom noticed.

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-01-21T16:55:09+00:00

It's not a joke, he's testing the waters.

18yo isn't saying anything because she doesn't want to ruin her moms happiness.

ApfelEsserin · 2021-01-21T17:39:39+00:00

The fact that he called her prudish over this gave away his game. Jfc, disgusting.

2021-01-21T19:21:29+00:00

How do you date a man who watches barely legal porn, having a daughter? Why even? This woman KNOWS he watches this kind of porn. And she lets him near her daughter.

GoldandGlowing · 2021-01-21T20:46:39+00:00

The fact she showed the meme he sent her and “jokingly” asked her mom why he sent her that should’ve raised red flags that her daughter is clearly uncomfortable.

AcctJustForMe · 2021-01-21T17:58:52+00:00

Honestly I'm inclined to tell single moms here to never fucking allow male partners into their homes until the kids are all moved out. I'm sorry but step dads being molesters is so nauseatingly common and the moms almost never expect it/ignore red flags. 99% of men cannot be trusted with children that aren't their own and you can't vet them enough because they're so manipulative and sneaky. Sorry, but fuck stepdads and step brothers being allowed into peoples homes. They're dangerous.

Austenma · 2021-01-21T18:32:42+00:00

That's disgusting.

If you have to wonder if something is off, it is!!!

SarcasmSlide · 2021-01-21T18:49:27+00:00

Mothers who fail to protect their daughters anger me the most.

shinyjewels · 2021-01-21T17:22:40+00:00

He is grooming her, and she thinks she's special.

The only one who understands the gravity of the situation is him, and he needs booted out, and the daughter needs therapy so she doesn't blame herself.

This will end horribly, and mom needs to be way more active about this than she's being.

The daughter is likely uncomfortable, but is trying to just not process it. Like how someone might laugh in the face of danger.

thepensiveporcupine · 2021-01-21T22:00:40+00:00

“Watches porn with young women in it” there you have it

Street_Narwhal_3361 · 2021-01-21T17:19:35+00:00

I have a step-dad and even as an adult/mother he doesn’t make gross jokes - he never has. Kick him out, attack him with wolverines or flamethrower. Whatever, he just needs to be gone

pikkpie · 2021-01-21T17:23:41+00:00

Ew he's a predator and a pedophile

agonyandhope · 2021-01-22T01:07:12+00:00

God I pray this mom sees the light.

His excuse is pathetic. When I turned 18 and started working my stepdad also started to treat me like a grown up, but in a proper and real way: helped with budget and how to handle my money safely, what to care for in the car or at home, even talk about politics and issues with his company. The fact that this man says she's 18 so she can hear and be confortable with sex jokes shows he just has a one track porn sick mind.

weekend111 · 2021-01-21T18:20:00+00:00

Probably watches stepparent porn 🤢

A_WoodHouse · 2021-01-21T20:12:28+00:00

This concerns me. It sounds like he’s been grooming her and thinks its okay to be open about it now that she’s “legal”. Run away before it escalates, she is still a child in my book and this is dangerous

takethemonkeynLeave · 2021-01-21T21:25:38+00:00

This flat out sickens me. This poor woman has spent years with this man and he’s been hot for her daughter the whole time, now it’s just legal. What a waste of oxygen that man is.

penelopesheets · 2021-01-21T20:37:03+00:00

Asking stepfathers if she's being irrational lmao I bet they'd all justify this behavior. My stepdad was a creep too.

Davina33 · 2021-01-21T23:15:12+00:00

I do not like this one bit! I think he is pushing his stepdaughter's boundaries. Predators do this, one small step at a time. The mother's intuition is kicking in here, she knows it's wrong but she isn't quite sure of herself yet. I hope she wakes up before it's too late. The porn is bad enough, he is a scrote.

blessedwiththree · 2021-01-21T18:18:23+00:00

This is disgusting. The sad thing is I've even had related men in my family make these types of "jokes". You would think anyone who wasn't a biological parent would go out of their way to ensure that they didn't cross any boundaries or make their stepchild uncomfortable like this (and bio parents shouldn't be "joking" like this either). I've never been a stepmother, but, I cannot imagine talking to my stepson/daughter about anything sexual in this manner. In fact, this type of talk will not be tolerated with my children (sons/daughter). This man is a predator, he knows this is unacceptable. How upsetting that this girl has had to tolerate this from her "stepfather" and that her mom hasn't gotten rid of this pervert.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-01-21T22:28:25+00:00

Run. I hope she runs as far and as fast as she can. The red flags are hatching red flags at this point. Your daughter >>>>> any LVM with 'jokes' like that

2021-01-21T19:37:01+00:00

This is so disgusting. The man is an obvious predator and her reaction is "Am I irrational" about it? There's no question about it. It is not a joke, he is testing the waters on how far he can go with his gross behaviour. No normal parent would say this shit and send gross things to their kids.

Espionagess · 2021-01-22T01:56:42+00:00

HE IS A PEDOPHILE. Ffs this is textbook grooming behaviour:

" the perpetrator may also start discussing sexual behaviors and content with the child/adolescent so that they feel more comfortable with this type of material."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/protecting-children-sexual-abuse/201901/what-parents-need-know-about-sexual-grooming

Has someone reached out to her yet?

jargon_explosion · 2021-01-22T05:47:19+00:00

That entire post may as well be the definition of grooming. Get him out of the house before he hurts the daughter more than he already has. And before he teaches the son more than he already has.

SeaNegotiation8 · 2021-01-22T08:25:20+00:00

Oh god everything about that post made my skin crawl. What that man is doing is so fucking cringy, and you can bet your sweet ass the daughter notices.

I am a mother to a 17 year old girl. My husband, her stepdad, wouldn’t dream of making jokes about vibrators or sex around her. Jesus fucking Christ. If they ever bond over something, it’s usually over their favorite Karate Kid movie, or sometimes they both love to talk shit about Donald Trump. Normal shit. If either of us made a sex joke around her, it would make her want to crawl under a rock and die.

I am also a step daughter myself. Met my stepdad when I was 8. He never spoke to me about sex, and he was never inappropriate toward me.

There are men out there that can make excellent stepfathers. This guy isn’t one of them.

honeybeeroll · 2021-01-22T08:47:53+00:00

he's always told these types of (sex) jokes

i know he watches porn with young women in it

Oh for fucks sake!!! I want to feel bad for her but she fucking CHOSE to date a guy who watches barely legal porn, who has probably watched porn of underage girls (knowingly or not), and who makes gross sexual jokes. Even if he didn't make these jokes around her daughter before, the fact that he made them is an automatic sign to throw the whole man away. HV or even decent men know you do not make those kinda jokes around women. I've got mad male friends and they've never made jokes about vibrators and shit cuz they have manners and understand women don't like that shit.

This post reminds me of a woman who had 2 young kids and was long time friends w/ a male teacher of young children, who she knew had a tickle fetish and spent money on prostitutes for said fetish. She saw him tickle her daughter one day, and continue to tickle the daughter despite the daughter telling him to stop. This mom immediately realized this was fucked up considering this guy's fetish, and cut him off. She made the post cuz she had misplaced guilt - no question she wasn't going to let him around her kids, but she was wondering if she could maybe be friends with him still. Thankfully the comments told her to cut him out for good. I think she should've blown up his spot with the school he worked at because the man was a damn pedo, and hopefully she learned not to be friends w/ anyone who has a weird fucking fetish, but I digress.

The point is, that mom had her eyes peeled for the red flags, saw them, and snatched her kids the hell out of there. Whereas THIS one is making excuses for a man who's been an obvious pedo from day 1!!! if you have children you cannot give the benefit of the doubt to ANYONE!

BlazingHazard · 2021-01-22T09:00:50+00:00

Never ever have kids with a porn sick man. They always watch younger and younger women in porn, and eventually your daughter's and the porn star's ages will coincide....

slight_sapphire · 2021-01-21T21:42:06+00:00

Fucking creep. It’s absolutely intentional - he’s feeling out the boundaries so he can keep pushing them.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-01-22T01:01:07+00:00

"(about normal, logistical things)"

Uh, whatever. Dear god. I had to plug my ears from all the alarms.

4E4ME · 2021-01-22T06:59:51+00:00

I'd be checking the whole house for hidden cameras.

plummyjellyfish · 2021-01-22T01:15:40+00:00

My mom has had partners over the years...no sex jokes from them. It's called BOUNDARIES. Also, a 45 year old male should have some gravitas, and dignity. Doing meaningful things, not jerking off to porn and sending unfunny messages. Fucking pathetic.

nenindis · 2021-01-22T12:59:49+00:00

Of course a predator would sooner think of her as an "adult" (spoiler alert: she ISN'T an adult), rather than think of himself as a predator.

I did grow up in a messed up, abusive environment, but I never had sexual jokes pointed at me. I honestly don't even know why this woman is questioning it. He's a predator. Period. She and her daughter need to get away from this depraved asshole as soon as possible.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-01-22T14:41:17+00:00

Yeah I bet daughter talks to her friends about her psycho creepy looser step dad constantly- this is not going to go well either way- Mothers instincts are spot on here.

melonmagellan · 2021-01-22T16:38:02+00:00

Aside from all the other obvious issues, he isn't even her stepfather if they aren't married. He's her boyfriend. The use of "partner" would suggest they aren't married.

Yes, be worried if your boyfriend sexually harasses and grooms your daughter.

Meadow97 · 2021-01-22T16:57:04+00:00

So she's putting her daughter at risk of being groomed by thus dude and asking men... Men of all people if she's justified in her feelings?

CassieGreen85 · 2021-01-23T04:30:34+00:00

Pedo is showing his true colors now that she's technically "legal."

Wouldn't surprise me if he was lusting after the daughter since she was a 13yo child.

blerty567 · 2021-01-24T23:37:11+00:00

I bet he watches father/stepfather - daughter porn

Title	"Jokes"
Author	shinyjewels
Upvotes	440
Comments	75
Date	January 21, 2021 3:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l20het/jokes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/jokes.748081 https://theredarchive.com/post/748081

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