Low effort meme but it's for LVM so

myousername · 2021-04-15T04:47:11+00:00

This image gave me PTSD flashbacks.

I used to date a lot of bodybuilder types. Their "I know how to cook" is literally just a boiled chicken breast with a side of steamed broccoli (if cutting). When they were in bulking mode, they'd add a cup of white rice.

No seasonings or oil, BeCaUsE CaLoRiEs. Even salt was limited because bLoATiNg despite salt being 0 calorie. At the absolute MOST they'd douse everything with sriracha or Frank's red hot sauce.

Moira_Spice · 2021-04-15T04:22:52+00:00

God I am so disgusted. Nauseous. This is stomach pains in a pic to me.

Those meals are so sad.

Fun fact: Mama's boy LVM ex didn't even know how to cook a egg. Litterally.

adalovelace1793--- · 2021-04-15T06:46:58+00:00

"Why dont you want to binge netflix with me at your side, under your sheets, under your roof, cause freebies, and then I will sexually disgust you into a non orgasm? wHY? " 🤣

licoricespicedtea · 2021-04-15T04:39:59+00:00

When I stopped cooking for him my ex went to Costco and bought mayo, canned chicken (that somehow smelled like tuna?), and 3 dozen hot dogs. For a meal he mixed mayo with the chicken and ate it out of the chicken can, then boiled a few hot dogs. 🤢

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-15T05:25:44+00:00

I remember in the early days my guy learning to cook. Would scream and whine (in the kitchen alone I knew if I rescued him I’d be stuck cooking for life).

FAst Forward almost 2 decades and he runs the kitchen like he’s fucking Gordon Ramsey. I rarely cooked pre pandemic. When he asked for help a couple months ago I agreed to cook 3 nights a week but ONLY if could use a meal kit for 2 nights.

And only during pandemic living because pre pandemic I had other chores that will eventually resume.

Never give without getting.

wordy_fries · 2021-04-15T04:30:10+00:00

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licoricespicedtea · 2021-04-15T04:24:18+00:00

From left to right, up to down, I cringe even more each time. Are they microwaving a sweet potato? Why pour soda into a glass but not canned pasta into a bowl? Ahhhhhhhh

Orcrista · 2021-04-15T09:01:50+00:00

OMG, I actually had some dude (40yo) make me those fish finger things when he 'cooked me dinner' - basically out it in the microwave straight from freezer. First and last time I ever ate those as an adult because I was too polite to laugh in his face..I was so embarrassed. How can a grown adult present a date with that? That's what latchkey kids have as a snack before their parents return home from work. Shameless.

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-15T05:19:23+00:00

I think my favorite part of this sub is men getting a taste of their own medicine on Reddit. The fact they can’t comment here and are reduced to downvoting and screaming at a screenshot gives me so much pleasure.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-04-15T05:56:08+00:00

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fudirtbagjon · 2021-04-15T11:23:11+00:00

My Mucin-ex (he literally looks like the cartoon booger) would want praise for only being able to cook frozen food from a box and pork chops without any sidedish. He thought I was super ungrateful for not being excited about his low effort meal once a week. Don't get me started on the mess I was expected to clean up in the kitchen "because he did the cooking and it was only fair".

youre_a_cat · 2021-04-15T04:38:20+00:00

Okay, what the hell is in the microwave? Salmon?

Amourah · 2021-04-15T06:37:00+00:00

Oh some of my unfortunately memorable "I am a great cook" date meals were:

Boxed mac and cheese with pasta sauce mixed in with cheese microwaved on top. He called this gourmet.

Prepackaged frozen chicken cordon blue you just pop in the oven and Lipton sidekicks (packaged prespiced pasta that you just boil). From a 30 year old that really bragged about how awesome his cooking was.

karaokekiller · 2021-04-15T08:01:00+00:00

Ex husband loved cooking carbonara

No, actually it was overcooked pasta with a jar of crappy carbonara sauce poured over it. No chicken added (as recommended by the jar!)

Super terrible. And then he'd leave the plates in the sink until they were covered in mould 🤢

adventurelillypad · 2021-04-15T10:00:43+00:00

Add: jarred Alfredo sauce, Cajun seasoning that expired 3 years ago, and a large array of crusty hot sauces

_laufaeson · 2021-04-15T07:54:35+00:00

OMG that’s my STBXH in a nutshell. He was so proud of the chili he for himself made last week.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-04-15T14:17:49+00:00

My NVX husband was very much like this. He said he absolutely hated my cooking (never did hate it in the beginning before marriage) and asked how the hell I don't get fired (I'm a chef by trade) and yet would buy frozen breaded chicken, frozen pizzas, and ate anything super processed and from a box or can. It was absolutely disgusting. Then he had the audacity to complain about his digestive issues (primarily ulcers in the stomach), being pre-diabetic, having high blood pressure (hello daily sodium overdose), chronic heart failure, fatigue, and being overweight in his 40s and he blamed it all on me. He flushed his health down the toilet just to gaslight me about my cooking.

Not surprised in the least that he still has his mommy come over and clean his place for him (he's 50 now). When we exchange the kids for his scheduled parenting time, he goes off about being on the keto diet and says I should do it too (still negs and gaslights me about my weight, I'm muscular and slender) yet says he has McDonald's twice per week. He's put on at least another 30 lbs since "embarking" on this diet. My daughter says he still eats junk food (binges) on the weekends and jokes about him being on the cheetoh diet (cheetohs, for those in other countries, are cheese puff snacks usually made with modified milk and corn ingredients).

greeneyesrosylips · 2021-04-15T10:44:18+00:00

I've just had my delicious, healthy and homemade lunch. I didn't need to see this 🤢

Amourah · 2021-04-15T06:28:54+00:00

There was one date I had where the guy was a pretty good cook. The date was horrible and the most awkward experience ever. I literally had to just stand in the kitchen and watch him cook, as there was nothing I could help him with and there was no chairs in the room. He didn't make great conversation either, so I was like "oh here, let me put that in the garbage for you" trying to not stand in silence.

myoklife · 2021-04-15T13:17:38+00:00

Has an ipad that he exclusively uses to look up a recipe from bon appetit maybe twice a year

Uses every single dish in the house while making the one dish

Somehow, every time, despite the iPad and elaborate preparation, something goes terribly wrong and he starts cursing and panicking

chocolatelustpile · 2021-04-15T07:06:02+00:00

I've literally had the top left cooked for me on a second date, along with a piece of unseasoned dry as anything piece of steak. He'd warned me that he wasn't a good cook/couldn't cook anything fancy but simple meals can also be tasty. Salt was my best friend that day, though needless to say I didn't finish it all...

carmen_sandiegos_hat · 2021-04-15T05:37:08+00:00

Oh my gosh just @ me next time with the sweet potatoes 😂😂 Lmaooo I learned from my mistake 😂

dollymyfolly · 2021-04-15T13:47:46+00:00

I feel like men just aren’t any good at the intuitive part of cooking. If there are instructions, they are only good at following those. But if something goes wrong they’re totally lost. I don’t like when men cook for me also because they always make a mess, are much slower than me, and always forget one major food group.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-04-15T11:27:43+00:00

😥😥😥😥

missisabelarcher · 2021-04-15T13:54:40+00:00

This is literally my kindergartner's diet.

melonmagellan · 2021-04-15T18:22:15+00:00

I'm not buying the sweet potato. Too healthy and doesn't stink enough to be considered LVM cooking.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-04-15T16:29:22+00:00

LOOLLLL what is the food in the microwave?

foxorhedgehog · 2021-04-15T22:03:28+00:00

This is the kind of food I eat when I’m really really high. And then the next day I feel awful!

afrodeasyak · 2021-04-16T02:31:36+00:00

Yeah but can you actually cook?!! You don't seem like the type who cooks. You put on waaaay too much makeup. Show me proof that you can cook!!! Better yet make me food so I know, cause I'm sure you can't hah!!! 🤡

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-04-16T02:32:08+00:00

I’m so confused. I dated ain’t shit guys but even they could prepare food better than this 🤢

machiavella_89 · 2021-04-16T05:16:01+00:00

I'm amazed at how the presence or absence of cooking skills can be such a massive indicator of HVM potential. Not saying it's perfect obviously, but if a man can't cook and isn't willing to learn, I'd be running for the hills.

It was a monumental struggle to get my ex to cook or eat anything that wasn't frozen microwaveable trash. Even after I moved out I tried to help him learn to cook because I knew he would happily work himself into an early grave eating nothing but garbage. He wouldn't even learn to make a simple chicken and pasta dish with veggies.

My husband is an excellent cook. He's intuitive about it and can improvise some amazing stuff. I can have interesting conversations with him about cooking and other ways to run our household so that it's comforting for us and our guests. Basically, he's an adult who cares enough about himself and others to put real creativity and effort into a task that so many people dismiss as "menial women's work."

Title	Low effort meme but it's for LVM so
Author	FabledAngryVillager
Upvotes	614
Comments	102
Date	April 15, 2021 4:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mr7e9t/low_effort_meme_but_its_for_lvm_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/low-effort-meme-but-its-for-lvm-so.763528 https://theredarchive.com/post/763528

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