Men cannot be trusted with an idea like polyamory and its popularity shows how naive and desperate women have become

Frogspocket · 2021-10-24T00:34:13+00:00

I don't know if it's quite the same but I know a married couple with an open marriage. I've heard him brag about how goals their relationship is and how cool the arrangement they made is. But what I've heard through gossip is that he's actually miserable because she immediately found lots of men who were willing to date her or be fwb, but he found zero prospects. So he got jealous and bitter and demanded his wife stop and wait for him to catch up. 🦗

Jandi18 · 2021-10-23T22:00:49+00:00

Yep! They want an opportunity to sleep with as much women as possible with no consequence while having the wife at home that takes care of him and the children he plays catch with once a week because let’s be honest most of them do not do much parenting.

They want to be single while enjoying marriage benefits.

aluriaphin · 2021-10-24T00:39:32+00:00

When my LV emotionally withholding workaholic ex mentioned non-monogamy I was basically like "well, it might make sense for me to have a few more partners. You certainly can't though." Reasoning? He is allegedly already giving everything he has to give to a relationship right now to me. He's allegedly giving 100% and it's only meeting, say, 50% of my needs (wanting more quality time, more dates, etc, etc). It might make sense for ME to start seeing someone else to make up for YOUR shortcomings, but since you're apparently all maxed out the only way YOU could have another partner is if you took time and energy out of the already-insufficient amount you're current giving me. Nuh-uh! Needless to say we didn't end up doing that 🤣

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-10-23T22:00:00+00:00

I really wish that women would stop letting men bluff about "love", when they don't show any actual affection to women at all.

LetsGetin_Formation · 2021-10-23T22:43:00+00:00

The ones that baffles me the most are the couples posting for a threesome.

I recently saw this profile that said “we are getting married soon and I want to give my fiancé a night to remember with another woman. I always wanted to watch”

Of course she was beautiful but cleeeeearly low self esteem and he looked like a gargoyle - no exaggeration. Fat, ugly and old looking into the camera like how tf did I such a hot, dumb girlfriend?

Idk it’s just fucking sad.

Platipus6 · 2021-10-24T00:07:27+00:00

They want to receive 100% from 4 women while only giving 10% or less to each of them.

Absolute parasites.

machiavella_89 · 2021-10-24T03:54:57+00:00

As an introvert, polyamory is so puzzling to me. If you want to be single and play the field, just do that. If you want to have casual sex, just do that, and call it what it is: fucking around. Why would any sane person want to actively be in a romantic relationship with multiple people? If you're actually being ethical about that, there have to be so many conversations and negotiations about boundaries and scheduling and prioritizing. That sounds completely exhausting.

Of course, when you see it as a highfalutin facade put on by someone who is just trying to manipulate multiple people into sleeping with them and being their narcissistic supply, all while proclaiming how ethical and open-minded they are, it makes a lot more sense.

And then there's the argument that "you can't get all your needs met from one relationship." Yes...that's why people have friends and family members in addition to romantic partners. Instead of asking monogamous people how they get their needs met from one romantic partner, maybe you should ask yourself why you think you need to be sleeping with someone to have a meaningful relationship with them.

Sage_Planter · 2021-10-23T23:57:16+00:00

On dating apps, "ethically non-monogamous" and "polyamorous" are so incredibly common now, it's laughable. Men write those terms in their profile like they're some unique, edgy, mystical creature without realizing the next 10 men have the exact same thing in theirs.

I feel even worse for our monogamous bi-sexual and lesbian sisters who get the constant "Oh! Will you be our third!??? It's my boyfriend's birthday, and I want to get him a threesome" messages.

ExistentialMigrant · 2021-10-23T23:03:10+00:00

This post really resonates with me, my ex broke up with me over this. He said he would feel deprived if he couldn't fuck other women. Afterall how could he possibly be expected to only have sex with one person for his whole life from this point on.

But of course he would be devoted to me (I would be the main piece I guess), even wanted to marry and have a family (with me receiving half the benefits but doing all the work, as OP points out).

Even had the audacity to call me insecure when I said that him wanting to be with other women would make me feel less loved.

Him breaking it off showed that his brand of devotion was very fickle. Up until then I was ready to give him everything, but I became completely uninvested when I saw where things were headed.

In hindsight I should have broken it off right then. Instead I stayed and realized that in his mind he had already turned me into the other women. He stopped taking me out on dates and was obviously just trying to use my body.

So now neither does he have a devoted wife nor a harem of pickmes swooning over his lovebombing. Good job 🤡

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2021-10-24T21:53:32+00:00

I don't know why people call it polyamory anymore. It is polyfuckery; men trying to have sex with as many women as possible and not lose the woman who giving them all the emotional labour.

LeaNoodles · 2021-10-24T01:52:48+00:00

Tell him you're down with polyamory too but then say only in relationships with multiple men and one woman. See how fast he backs out of that arrangement!

lucidlotus · 2021-10-24T04:57:29+00:00

So true. And somehow polyamory is framed by some as an exercise in personal development, for lack of a better term, as a way to “expand your mind” and learn from the challenges that arise. Basically that you should be able to work through what it triggers in you, not that the triggers are there for a good reason. 🙄

I’m sure a select few people can make it work, but every poly person I’ve met has had more than a few screws loose.

PollyannaPenny · 2021-10-24T07:57:23+00:00

My issue with the poly community is how culty it is. I used to just say, "Its not for me. But if other consenting adults choose it, who am I to judge?". But then some friends got into it and being poly became their ENTIRE PERSONALITY! Like, this one male friend of mine can't go more than an hour without preaching the glory of polyamory like an evangelical Christian preaches the glory of Christ! And they feel the need to constantly dump on monogamous and "vanilla" people. Its INSUFFERABLE!

And now women in leftie spaces are under lots of pressure to tolerate poly boyfriends (and all their weird kinks) lest they be labeled "sex negative", "vanilla", "boring", etc

Papaverinum · 2021-10-24T20:07:58+00:00

Last time I've checked polyamory meant the ability to love more than one person at the same time. But men can't even love and provide for one woman, let alone more. I mean, the concept sounds appealing, but it's just not applicable.

arnezuara · 2021-10-23T23:01:33+00:00

Unfortunately, polyamory or not, he will still cheat on you if he wishes to do so.

Women have to take collective action to stay celibate outside of committed relationships/marriage and maintain high standards throughout.

the_ghost_of_ · 2021-10-24T08:30:37+00:00

Polyamory is just a scam, in my opinion. I've yet to meet a single person it's EVER worked out for, and in my experience, I found out I was in a poly relationship after it ended -- When everyone around me said, "But weren't you in an open relationship? He said you guys were poly and open!" .... Oh, that's why ya'll kept it hush hush when he brought other women around? Cuz you thought I KNEW and was COOL with it? Ahuhhhhhh. Eye roll.

ironglaciers · 2021-10-24T13:52:45+00:00

I had to stop in my tracks this summer with a guy I really liked and clicked with because he told me he was polyamorous and had gotten divorced because he felt he couldn't just be with one person. (We are both 33 so I assume he either hadn't been married long or he got married early.) I am proud to say that I set my boundaries and did not proceed or try to rationalize going forward. I need commitment to me and me only. I would rather be alone than a side piece. But I was honestly very sad. It's hard for me to connect with people. I rarely click with anyone, but this guy I did. God I was depressed. I still am.

Mysterious_Call_924 · 2021-10-24T17:52:03+00:00

Reddit is the reason I found this gem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTsdKycVZZ4 so i'm sharing it all with you so you can appreciate its artistic genius 😂

myeggsarebig · 2021-10-24T10:06:54+00:00

Many moons ago I roommated with a single (she was looking) woman who was poly. On one hand they (her and her friends) talked about jealousy “in the lifestyle” like it was just another emotion like being angry or sad, that folks in the lifestyle are very good at navigating. On the other hand, there was so much jealousy drama…like non stop “communication”.

This woman was pushing 40, getting dressed up several nights of the week, to go out after 10 pm, and get home at 3-4 am. She was very depressed about not being able to find a HVM, a d only ever being the 3rd wheel of marriages. She also had an eating disorder and would bing my ice cream. She was unemployed and “looking” for work (she would take days to write a cover letter), so imagine coming home from working all day, dreaming about unwinding with that ice cream to find it gone?! she was also heavily involved in co-dependency support groups, and used those cliches to defend/define all of her behaviors.

Dag, just writing that out, I’m reminded of how much of a shit show that roommate situation was.

My point being, women involved in “the lifestyle” are delusional about the real world, along with having a host of other behavioral issues. They are freakishly jealous, and use “the lifestyle” to try and trick themselves that they are fully capable of navigating jealousy.

What’s ironic is that she absolutely knew what a HVM was, and was holding out for one. The bizarre part was that she really believed she’d find one “in the lifestyle” or one outside “the lifestyle” who was willing to accept her polyamory. HVM want no parts.

lalacestmoi · 2021-10-24T15:08:18+00:00

If we socially shamed the polyamory movement, you’ll see quickly how many of them drop the description from their profile. OF COURSE they love it…. They get to freely fuck anyone they want to, and come home to be cooked for and cuddled! This goes for both sexes by the way. There are some dumb women who are purportedly into this movement (started by Instagram and TikTok)… what a bunch of stupid sheep!!

Antique_Fortune6974 · 2021-10-24T05:43:55+00:00

Whenever there's people I find that supports polyamory,I always ask "why would I pay the price of a full loaf of bread for a half loaf of bread?"

I say this because why would I invest fully into someone that's only giving me half if not less? Especially if (hypothetically) I'm the side piece and they're the ones getting all the benefits.(usually its the man with multiple women)

Edit:details and if you still don't get it or agree that's fine.Haha

insurrectionaryINTJ · 2021-10-25T13:11:40+00:00

I told this scrote I was seeing in my pickmeisha days that his being “poly” and “wanting to love everyone” barf is just a thinly veiled excuse to be a hoeboy and he should just call it that instead of trying to put a cool progressive label on it. He even said so himself “I just want to be a hoe”. This scrote even tried to turn it around on me by making it seem as if it were my issue that I couldn’t believe that he loved me when in reality I was questioning his line of logic and simply wasn’t comfortable with this lifestyle he was pushing upon me. I ended up hurting him real bad and idc.

BananaSlugGhost · 2021-10-24T12:21:27+00:00

BINGO (said as someone who used to be a Pickmeisha and dabbled in polyamory and swinging).

kodochalover · 2021-10-24T19:07:28+00:00

Thank you so much for putting into words what I’ve been feeling every time I see someone on FB post about how “underrated” polyamory is. Like wtf ??

Ericaeatscarrots · 2021-10-24T20:47:23+00:00

I’m glad to see a post about LOVE

leekykeeks · 2021-10-26T05:16:54+00:00

"Do you think they'd still be polyamorous if they weren't allowed to fuck any of them?"

I screamed.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-10-24T04:57:27+00:00

Applause. Aptly stated.

Classic-Owl3417 · 2021-10-24T23:04:08+00:00

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! It is not about Love AT ALL, it is about fucking as many women they can. I just do not understand how these ladies even expose themselves to this type of bullshit. Unbelievable.

2021-10-24T22:42:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Quirky_Confusion_235 · 2021-10-25T23:52:53+00:00

When my ex told me they wanted to be poly and date our roommate and 2 of my best friends, I should have broken things off then and there.

A few people might genuinely be into dating each other and make it work somehow, but so so many other times it’s men wanting to have their own harem. Not for me.

Title	Men cannot be trusted with an idea like polyamory and its popularity shows how naive and desperate women have become
Author	frustratedmarxistfem
Upvotes	1680
Comments	97
Date	October 23, 2021 9:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qee17t/men_cannot_be_trusted_with_an_idea_like_polyamory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-cannot-be-trusted-with-an-idea-like-polyamory.1082210 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082210

Comments