men like this are why I’m happy being single

DallasOMalley · 2020-11-09T02:35:31+00:00

Okay, crap like this is why I may purposely stay single forever. Here's what I've observed in the last two decades of my dating life.

Man, when they have strong/scary feelings: They freak the fuck out, have to go on some flipping quest to find themselves, or just punch a hole in the wall. They're slaves to their feelings and can't function until they've processed them. "Processing them" may involve draining the life force out of a woman by whining for days, weeks, even actual years on end, but never fixing the root cause. (Yes, I know there are high value exceptions, but we all know they're in the minority.)

Women, when they have strong/scary feelings:. Suck it up and keep on trucking, because supper still needs to cooked, they have to get up for work tomorrow, and the dog needs to go out. They'll typically look for a therapist, talk things out, try to carry on as usual, and do everything they can to cope in a healthy way.

The guy in that post is an emotionally fragile loser. What's he gonna do if she has complications during the birth, or the kid is sick, or his wife develops a chronic condition? Is he just gonna fuck off to another country so he can process his feefees?

MakeURegret · 2020-11-09T02:38:17+00:00

“I think that’s an extreme reaction since I was gone only a few days.”

I want her to go fuck off for a few days and not tell him.

Even better if she googles on a shared tablet/device beforehand: “ how to get an abortion, signs men aren’t ready for fatherhood, should I go through with my pregnancy with a deadbeat”

karichar · 2020-11-09T02:12:31+00:00

imagine telling the love of your life, the man who is going to be the father of your children, that you’re pregnant with your planned child and he runs away like a little fucking kid

how pathetic

edit: ty for the gold fellow queen ❤️

leadmemories · 2020-11-09T02:17:20+00:00

he’ll need a week at the cabin to process the actual birth 😒

2020-11-09T03:05:10+00:00

My ex did that with both pregnancies.

It was in moments like those that I realized he did not love me, but still wanted to use me.

Life's been much better since the divorce.

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-11-09T03:39:29+00:00

If I was this woman I would be walking to the abortion clinic and ending the relationship. This is a glimpse of what her future will be if she decided to keep this baby and stay with this ass hole.

kiki_do_u_luv_me · 2020-11-09T02:55:21+00:00

Lol omg I bet there are pick me and scrote comments telling him he’s NTA and that his ~mental health~ is important!1!1 I can’t.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-11-09T04:45:17+00:00

Wait til the baby starts wailing at 2 in the am. Is he gonna have another cabin retreat?

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-11-09T12:16:23+00:00

This is one of the many reasons I'm childfree. Most males want kids (usually for some BS reason like "to pass on their legacy", not because they actually like taking care of children) yet treat the mothers of their children/potential children like crap.

This woman is going to go through a 9 month pregnancy, potentially risking her health and life and definitely taking the risk of her body permanently changing for the worst (I'm not referring to stuff like stretch marks from pregnancy but more like urinary incontinence and prolapses and other conditions like that stemming from childbirth) all so she can give birth to HIS child and he can't even act like an adult at the announcement of their PLANNED pregnancy. Jesus what is this literal man-child going to do when she's giving birth? Is he going to fly away to the Bahamas for 2 weeks to "calm down" while she has to deal with the aftermath of the birth? Even if he doesn't do that you can tell he'd be one of those scrotes just eating an entire pizza by himself as his wife has to suffer through contractions.

I genuinely don't understand what he's anxious about. He's not the one whose body will permanently change. He definitely won't be the one waking up at 3am to put the baby back to sleep. His poor wife will do 99% of the childcare while he pats himself on the back for changing one nappy once every 3 months.

margitaolympia · 2020-11-09T09:23:52+00:00

"bro my actions actually HAVE consequences. Im gonna run and hide for about three days and then take responsibility, until then buh bye"

lilithdianara · 2020-11-09T10:07:33+00:00

Why do we even bother with men at all?

crymethepacificocean · 2020-11-09T02:30:35+00:00

She’s going to be carrying the baby for the next nine months, not him. She’s the one risking her life and body.

He lied to her about wanting a baby. He’s clearly not ready to be a father. He felt suffocated and that’s why he ran away. He probably said he was ready just to hook her.

If he’s bailing now, what’s to say he won’t do it again when it gets harder? The fact that he’s so woefully unprepared shows he hasn’t done any research or prep, so he’s an unreliable man. Ladies, if your man isn’t excitedly doing research into parenting, he’s probably not that invested. Know this before letting him put a baby in you. A guy who’s really interested in a family with you would be over the moon with the news, not like he’s going through a funeral.

I also find it interesting how it’s all about him. Notice how he words everything, how there’s not a single sentence in there telling us how he felt seeing her miserable, beyond annoyance at her being ‘extreme’.

This guy wants to know if he’s right more than he wants to know how to make it right.

Edit: Spelling

ThunderofHipHippos · 2020-11-09T03:19:40+00:00

[removed]

buttercupcake23 · 2020-11-09T08:26:00+00:00

Whoooo that thread and the men in it like "why arent men allowed to take time to process she had time to process before she told him"

Like 1) procesing feelings without running away like a scared piece of shit is possible and what adult ls do

2) false equivalencies abound when does she get to leave her pregnancy behind and go to the woods and the nerve of them to claim oh well she said it was ok so shes not allowed to change her mind

The fucking nerve. Hes so oblivious I hope she aborts before she has to be a single mom with 1 baby and 1 overgrown manchild

XOXabiXOX · 2020-11-09T10:38:05+00:00

Reminds me of my ex who’d take a 10 day long boys trip to Madrid leaving me alone with a newborn and a 2 year old.

He’s still completely unable to prioritise the needs of his own children over and above what he wants/needs. And any attempt to point the glaringly obvious, results in him pleading that I’m attacking him. 🙄

suspended_animation_ · 2020-11-09T04:49:57+00:00

Let's just say that I wouldn't be there when he got back if it were me.

lvioletsnow · 2020-11-09T02:15:09+00:00

JFC. 🙄

myousername · 2020-11-09T14:59:14+00:00

If he gets that much anxiety over a pregnancy announcement, he isn't fit to be a parent.

Is he gonna do this every single time he feels a drop of cortisol in his blood?

What's he gonna do when the baby is born, it's crying, needs diaper changed, his wife might have post partum depression and they're both sleep deprived?

Is he gonna step up, be a good parent, and change the diaper? or is he gonna fuck off to Costa Rica for a week to "process his emotions" leaving his stressed out wife at home?

He's going to be a terrible father.

Edit: just want to add that it sounds like he is also manipulating her into having low expectations. She now knows that she can't ever rely on him to take care of the baby by himself while she takes a shower or a nap, because of his "anxiety" 🙄🙄🙄

deranged_berserker · 2020-11-09T13:49:03+00:00

Good grief, I'm so glad that 99% of the comments told him what an AH he is. Faith in humanity restored. There are a couple of scrotes that sided with the op and and said "if this was a woman... Typical Reddit sexism" etc but scrotes will be scrotes so...

wayward_woman · 2020-11-09T07:19:25+00:00

If I were her I'd have an abortion and leave him. If he thinks he can just take a vacation to escape supporting her during her pregnancy, she can do the same thing. She can take a permanent vacation away from the pregnancy (i.e. abortion) and him (i.e. divorce).

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-11-09T06:00:12+00:00

If this woman later comes back and says there were no red flags that this guy was an asshole who wasn't going to support her or take care of the children she is totally out of touch. He is so selfish. He's lying about his wife saying he could go. Notice he only says it at the very end. What probably happened is they talked about it in theory and then he just left. What an asshole. Just wait until she has just given birth and can't do everything, the baby is crying and he's not getting sex. He'll probably run to the cabin again. I'm not sure why his guy has any anxiety at all, it's not like he'll probably even do anything for this child or for his wife he clearly doesn't care at all about. It's all me, me, me.

2020-11-09T20:22:27+00:00

"I think thats an extreme reaction". Yeah nah bud you're gaslighting. Trash. Next.

2020-11-09T08:30:28+00:00

Oh boohoo baby it's not all about you. She's fucking pregnant and feeling sick. It's scarier for her since she has to deal with sickness, body changes, the fact that she's going to be a mom, thinking about how delivery will go. But no ofcourse it's all about the big man baby. I would end this relationship. You just don't bounce in times like these.

ItsFreezen · 2020-11-09T12:49:48+00:00

What a LOSER.

honeybeeroll · 2020-11-09T16:25:57+00:00

Guarenteed he will divorce or cheat on her within the first few years of the baby being born.

Case and point: A former coworker married a weak man. I never liked the guy because he was a man child. Well he turned out worse than I thought. He was like this guy, felt a lot of "pressure" at doing normal life shit (trying to get pregnant and buy a house in the same year). So one year into his marriage he fucked someone else. Hid it for months, told her he did something he couldn't fix, THEN DISAPPEARED w/o confessing, and filed for divorce. His father tracked him down and made him "confess" a few weeks later - he didn't actually confess but trickle truthed her for months. She was going through with the divorce....and then decided to stay w/ him. Because she was in her mid 30s and felt it was her only shot at kids. Because having kids with a man who cheats on you, then disappears because life is too hard when the baby isn't even here yet, will be a good father. Okay.

Do not have kids with weak men. Him being too nervous about being a father to get it up was the final, biggest red flag.

missisabelarcher · 2020-11-09T04:02:21+00:00

My ex was like this. Sure, people have different ways of processing emotions and some people need the space of introspection. But this is less that and more a sign of selfishness. And a real weakness in character and a lack of resilience.

If this is what he's like during pregnancy, this man is going to make an absolutely shit partner when the real hard and grueling work of parenting a small child and maintaining a home starts. And something tells me he'll likely leave his partner to do all the hard work...

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-11-09T09:38:25+00:00

I don't know this peeh peeh, not mine, me doesn't have a peeh peeh.

ponpiriri · 2020-11-09T14:54:11+00:00

That last sentence is telling. I hope he knows that his wife will never forget this.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-11-09T14:56:12+00:00

his anxiety kicked into overdrive? imagine her anxiety!

nyclaurco · 2020-11-09T17:15:47+00:00

she should consider terminating the pregnancy.

2020-11-09T20:45:23+00:00

Me me me me me is what I read. Also “muhhh legacy!”. Then the pregnancy happens and “oh shit MY legacy?”.

Hmtnsw · 2020-11-09T22:49:59+00:00

I feel really bad for her.

howdoilogoutt · 2020-11-09T06:26:55+00:00

Maybe he could of sent her to relax in the cabin and he could of stayed at home lol

q----q · 2020-11-09T06:53:24+00:00

what a fucking idiot. not everyone should be allowed to breed....

DreaSoares2634 · 2020-11-09T03:06:28+00:00

Hell no!!!!

Title	men like this are why I’m happy being single
Author	karichar
Upvotes	342
Comments	100
Date	November 9, 2020 2:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jqots5/men_like_this_are_why_im_happy_being_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-like-this-are-why-im-happy-being-single.324641 https://theredarchive.com/post/324641

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