There needs to be more birth control options for men.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-04-13T17:08:51+00:00

This is not an accurate description of how IUD insertion is done.

The cervix is not forced open with forceps, it's held with a device that goes around the cervix to keep it still during the insertion.

The metal rod called a sound is to judge the depth of the uterus. It has absolutely nothing to do with shoving the IUD into place. There's no part of an insertion that is anything like that.

The tube that is put through the opening in your cervix is not a centimeter wide. It's lunch smaller. Maybe a 1/2cm?

Proper insertion really does need to include anti-inflammatories before and after insertion and also lidocaine gel on the cervix.

Simple information on IUD insertion: https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-to-expect-during-an-iud-insertion-906772

Medical level information on IUD insertion: https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2013/018680s066lbl.pdf

shirtofsleep · 2021-04-13T16:37:02+00:00

There is a male IUD tech since the mid 90s. But men don’t want it so it’s not been developed to market.

https://www.insider.com/male-contraceptive-is-being-developed-2017-7

sustaining-sam · 2021-04-13T16:23:01+00:00

If a man doesn't want children (yet or at all), but wants the privilege of having sex, he should get a vasectomy. Any decent, empathetic man would do this instead of putting his lady through this bullshit.

elementalvirago · 2021-04-13T16:32:02+00:00

The thing is, though, that still puts the trust on men to prevent pregnancy, and women are still stuck with the consequences. I truly believe that’s why the burden for pregnancy prevention has always been on women, because men can (and do) just jet. Even if she aborts there is still financial considerations, and abortion can be traumatic, mentally and physically.

It sucks but I don’t trust these males with my body in any way, shape, or form.

Leavix · 2021-04-13T17:11:53+00:00

"I'll sue you for child support" is now my favorite form of birth control 😂

amhran_oiche · 2021-04-13T16:46:21+00:00

I have this dilemma too. I stopped taking HBC due to side effects and that I am no longer happy suppressing my natural cycle. I've been considering the copper IUD but tbh it sounds like the same soup just reheated. I don't want to endure pain and side effects. But I don't trust just a condom. 😩

K0rla · 2021-04-13T17:22:20+00:00

I don’t mind condoms tbh, in my experience it is very obvious if they break. It has only happened to me a couple of times and i took the morning after pill. I don’t want to take hormones, so they are by far the best option for me.

_mar1s · 2021-04-13T16:36:57+00:00

There absolutely needs to be more male birth control options. There seems to be a bigger issue with not trusting your husband to use condoms, so much so that you had to do same day birth control. Also that he talks about finding and impregnating a new wife if y’all separate.... vasectomies are also reversible. Also women are only fertile a couple days a month and can only get pregnant once whereas men can get multiple women pregnant as many times as they theoretically want

AliCFire · 2021-04-13T17:03:48+00:00

Well... There's one neat ancient birth control thing i know that's literally cooking the guy's balls like soft boiled eggs! You see, you don't need a temperature that high to denaturalize the proteins that make semen... I am pretty sure there are a thousand different ways to make a dude sterile temporarily, so it kinda annoys me that there's so little effort on further development on that. In theory even just drinking hibiscus juice daily is already enough to lower fertility on a very non-invasive way.

NurseBubbleGum · 2021-04-13T17:34:37+00:00

I've been more than vaginally traumatized with childbirth, a colposcopy (which was painful and made me cringe for a few days), and another biopsy. When my doctor suggested an IUD to help with my heavy periods, I said I'd rather suffer and be anemic. She then prescribed me a medication to help me clot during my menstrual cycle instead. She's the best gyn I've had.

Men need to do some suffering.

HappyNovel · 2021-04-13T17:07:51+00:00

I wouldn’t trust a man to actually keep up with or be honest about being on a form of birth control.

There are so many that stealthily take condoms off or even tamper with their s/o’s BC.

la_bel_iconnu · 2021-04-13T17:37:56+00:00

Various doctors keep recommending that I get an IUD instead of using the pill. I've never had a gyno exam that didn't hurt at least a little and I've spoken to at least a dozen irl friends that have it and all but one said it was the worst thing they'd ever experienced. When I asked the latest doc to make the recommendation what the pain management options were, he was like "um take some Advil I guess, it doesn't really hurt". I'm seriously considering asking to be sterilized instead, at least I'd be anesthetized for that.

chocolatelustpile · 2021-04-13T18:21:40+00:00

I had an IUD put in about 4 years ago. I almost passed out when it was being put in but the doctor assured me that the pain would pass and I'd be fine the next day. After taking a couple of days off work due to the worst cramping and heavy bleeding (from someone who regularly faints during her period) I went back to work and thankfully my male boss and supervisor were understanding and left me be because, women's problems. I phoned the doctor and they said that it might take longer for it to settle down. Two weeks in agony and on the brink of collapsing/blacking out from pain I went to the emergency room. They asked me why I hadn't come in sooner and thought ot had perforated my uterus. Thankfully it hadn't and was removed but it took 9 hours of being on morphine for the pain to subside enough to be discharged. I know it works for many women but all it did for me was make my wallet NZ$400 lighter and leave me in agony for two weeks.

That being said, I completely agree that there should be more contraceptives for males but I'll be damned if I were to believe a man that he was using anything.

Opening_Candidate471 · 2021-04-13T18:27:51+00:00

My copper IUD insertion was uncomfortable but not painful, I had cramping like a bad period for a week.... but haven't had to worry about getting pregnant for over 6 years!

It was the best option for me, as it is for a lot of women (I'm allergic to hormonal BC).

gingerwabisabi · 2021-04-13T19:09:04+00:00

Men should 100% be using Vasalgel for birth control, it has all the advantages of vasectomies and seemingly none of the disadvantages.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-04-13T20:18:28+00:00

[deleted]

SgtElectricEel · 2021-04-13T16:21:32+00:00

I completely agree that men should have more responsibility with birth control, especially since they're so insistent on telling us we should be forced to go through pregnancy and labor. That being said, I wish your OB had informed you better. I got an IUD and I wanted the copper one as well because of the lack of hormones but my doc said she only recommends that to people who have already had children so their cervix has already been loosened. I'm so sorry you went through that pain.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-04-13T22:26:57+00:00

They didn't go ahead with the male birth control pill because .. drumroll men were suffering the same bad side effects as women on the pill

Just lmao

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-04-13T18:33:36+00:00

One gyn pushed me to get the nexplanon. She said it were the best alternative to the mini pill and I wouldn't bleed that much. Turns out I was scamed. My bleeding lasted 24/7, the whole month. I constantly had to plug myself with tampons and had to change them at least every 1/2 - 2 hours. It made any normal participation in every day life impossible. When I told her she said - and I quote - "It seems your body doesn't accept the nexplanon. Learn to accept it to get rid of the bleeding." Then she refused to take it out unless I paid another 80€. But I already paid for the whole procedure beforehand when she inserted it.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-04-13T19:04:17+00:00

I have a female relative who works in the medical field tell me they had so many patients coming in to have BC devices removed from their bodies due to the side effects.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2021-04-13T19:18:59+00:00

Condoms for me for the rest of my life :) no other birth control, thanks

liberty_5-30000 · 2021-04-13T20:13:44+00:00

Do you really trust a man to say I’m on the pill. Or trust me I had a vasectomy.

Would love more options, but I have a son. And I love him but he is still a boy.

Zirniaisuspirgais · 2021-04-13T21:52:43+00:00

Copper IUD used in US is outdated, too large for most women, and gynos are not as skilled at insertions cause they're not popular.

I got a tiny copper iud, mona lisa cu375, sold in france for 30 euro a pop. Much better shape for women's physiology. If you have the option to not get paragard, just do not get it. Much better options out there in the world but americans won't let them in and keep using the torture device from 40 yrs ago.

The insertion still sucks though, like a bad period cramp. My doctor was quick tho so that's good.

slayeroftruth · 2021-04-13T23:01:41+00:00

They tried but delicate princes were crying about the side effects so it stopped.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/11/01/male-birth-control-study-nixed-after-men-cant-handle-side-effects-women-face-daily/93088124/

donttextme_k · 2021-04-13T16:25:34+00:00

Condoms with a spermacide?

UnderwaterWriter · 2021-04-13T18:14:01+00:00

Having an IUD placed when you haven’t had children is horrible. I had the copper IUD removed after 3 years and because it became embedded. I had a slew of reproductive health issues during and after it was removed. I do not recommend it to any woman.

2021-04-13T19:30:15+00:00

Caya is a hormone free diaphragm. Have your OB call it into the pharmacy.

Nurx offers online birth control and migraine meds. Easy access and low prices.

I realize this is a bit off topic but even OBs sometimes haven’t heard of these options.

blue_avocado · 2021-04-13T23:24:55+00:00

I completely agree! All birth control options are for women, and the side effects are terrible. That being said, in the next year or two (hopefully!) a smaller copper iud will be approved for the US market. Imo it's the best option because it's non-hormonal and insertion doesn't hurt. I can't wait for it to be approved.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-04-14T01:06:01+00:00

I got the IUD and the cramping was horrible and painful. I thought my body was rejecting it. Cramping lasted up to two months for me. Eventually it stopped and it’s been like a dream ever since. I haven’t had periods m, when I do they are so light! I am up for it again next year and I think it’s worth it for the no periods alone. I don’t have sexual partners just fuck periods amiright lol

Fit_Juice · 2021-04-14T01:27:13+00:00

IUD's also cause hair loss, I have a mother who had thick rich hair only to lose some of it's volume it to Mirena. If you won't use the crap they shit out, they'd either develop better or fairer alternatives for BC. While the odds are small, men don't even need to take a gamble.

scootie12 · 2021-04-13T21:13:00+00:00

I had a friend who is working on Male birth control that is non-hormonal. But it is still several years out from being widely available.

The reason that hormonal birth control never passes the FDA approval (in the US) is because the negative risks of side effects do not outweigh the health benefits. Pregnancy can be extremely dangerous to a woman's health so the negative side affects of BC are worth it if she doesn't get pregnant. Men obviously can't get pregnant so there are no health benefits to the negative side effects.

We have the technology for male birth control (and have for awhile) but the FDA algorithm is inherently sexist.

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eveloe · 2021-04-13T21:19:32+00:00

Just for anyone else reading this post, there are three other types of hormonal birth control not mentioned in the OP that I know of:

1) contraceptive ring 2) Intrauterine System (like a small IUD with low dose hormones. Reduces spotting between periods) 3) contraceptive patch

Here is a full list

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/

NotYourCirce · 2021-04-13T21:40:57+00:00

Agree, there need to be more options for men. I’m looking for a guy with a vasectomy. I wish that getting this procedure was more popular and accepted by men. Hormones don’t work for me

ShittyPianist · 2021-04-13T23:18:52+00:00

I agree that there needs to be more birth control options for men.

I also agree that most gynecologists do an absolute shit job preparing you for anything. I've frequented them since I was a teenager, and I'm now 30. I've had surgeries, biopsies, etc - hell, I've had both Paragard and Kyleena and even a LEEP. In short, I've seen some shit.

That said, this bit here:

Like WTF I don't want ANYONE ELSE to get an IUD because it's so traumatic and painful.

An IUD is one of the best defenses against getting pregnant at the moment, especially if you don't want a hormonal treatment. It is unpleasant, yes. Getting it implanted is, in my experience, only a hair worse than a Pap smear done, which you should be getting every year anyway.

Like all medical treatments though, if you are in significant pain days afterward, call your doctor. It is not at all normal to experience a high level of pain - cramps, yes. Spotting, yes. Even longer and/or more painful periods (within reason, and do get a second opinion if they give you grief on this). The latter was my experience with Paragard, and I started exploring low-hormone options with my doctor. I am very happy with my current solution, but it did take a bit of experimenting and about a dozen follow up calls with the nurses to make sure everything was okay.

Warning people away from a solid medical treatment is much like warning people against vaccines, all because they made your arm hurt

twiddledeebum · 2021-04-14T01:10:34+00:00

I use a nuva ring and it has been my favorite form of birth control. It helps lighten my heavy period/lessens cramps and helps with my pms mood swings. I'm sure a partner would be able to feel it during traditional piv sex but that's honestly not my main concern(it's also a pandemic so I'm not getting any action). You can take it out for up to an hour at a time if that's an issue for you. I recommend it for anyone who wants a low hormone and low thought birth control option.

2021-04-14T04:31:50+00:00

Yep.

It's called castration

:p

Hostileovaries · 2021-04-14T05:57:55+00:00

Also remember that even though a tubal ligation is higher risk than vasectomies, nearly double more women get tubal ligations.

Awkward-Plane-6617 · 2021-04-14T07:21:55+00:00

I am so sorry you went through that, but I am so glad you are warning us about this this. It was something I had talked about considering as a possible BC option in the past, and I might’ve considered it again in the future if I needed it. Now, absolutely not, you have fully scared me away and just reading this was honestly difficult, so I can just imagine the hell you experienced. 🙁

Who knows how many more of the thousands of women who will likely eventually see this post that you have saved from this by writing this post

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-04-13T17:18:10+00:00

Honestly, as morbid as this sounds. Women can surgically remove all their eggs and men could freeze all their sperm and get a vasectomy. I think that would also receive how much crap parents there are and unwanted kids. Sorry you had that experience.

GingyTheCatt · 2021-04-13T21:21:03+00:00

I hate birth control. I went on a pill form that made my hair fall out in clumps! It also got rid of my sex drive completely and made me so dry, my vagina TORE a giant cut on my boyfriends dick. I saw blood all over us and I said “I’m having my period.” It was a giant cut on his dick from my dry vagina scraping him. It also made me gain some weight and fucked with me emotionally. My boyfriend told me to get off that shit... that was 3.5 years ago and I’ll never go on anything again, EVER! It was traumatic for me.

My mom suggested the shot. Eating disorders runs in my family (my mother and aunts have it, my sister, my cousin was even sent to a hospital for anorexia... and I admitted I had a form of it). And my gyno refused to give it to me, saying “yes the shot will make you gain weight and the last thing I want is for you to have an eating disorder.” At least he was honest.

Fuck female birth control. Luckily, I’m 29 and have never had an issue with accidental pregnancies or scare (knock on wood). Maybe I’m infertile (I’m not) but I guess the partners I’ve picked were just better at being careful than other woman’s partners. I actually am wondering what these men and women are doing that they’re getting pregnant 3, 4, 5 times in a row. What, is it drunk sex and letting the dude cum in you because it’s sexy and naughty? If that’s the case, then neither of you should be having sex... that’s really immature and irresponsible. I understand some women get pregnant more easily than others, but then there’s some women where it keeps happening every year and they’re like “Oh I don’t know how, I just some how keep getting pregnant lolz.” Obviously he isn’t pulling out and you’re letting him orgasm in you as some fetish.... pull .... out! Not that hard.

2021-04-13T18:48:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BlackGirlKnickers · 2021-04-13T18:53:43+00:00

I had this done about five years ago and I'm about up for a new IUD placement. The pain I felt all that time ago has me seriously reconsidering my options and dreading it. I honestly thought how unfair it was that I had to go through because men want to get their dick wet. If they wanna wet their dick, then they need to have something shoved in them or be pumped with hormones.

Title	There needs to be more birth control options for men.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	490
Comments	120
Date	April 13, 2021 4:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mq5i5l/there_needs_to_be_more_birth_control_options_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/there-needs-to-be-more-birth-control-options-for.1188560 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188560

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