When men mean when they “tease” you about being “boring” and not “adventurous” enough: car sex

Thestral-glow6 · 2020-10-06T11:17:30+00:00

“Go straight cave man on her” sounds like assault or possible rape? Im assuming he means forcing himself on her?

runawayfast999 · 2020-10-06T11:53:27+00:00

[deleted]

muackqoo · 2020-10-06T11:31:07+00:00

Wtf? Have her show up and he’s already eating? So many things wrong here. I’d be turned off if I was meeting a guy for a date and he’s trying to rush me out in 30 mins. A date at HOOTERS by the way.

izumokuni · 2020-10-06T11:23:14+00:00

It's obvious this man never gets laid

rebel4acause · 2020-10-06T13:32:37+00:00

I recognize the technique he used, so I'm just going to leave some knowledge here in case it is helpful to you ladies.

What this man did is called pre-framing. The way you "frame" (set up) what you say can color someone's emotional understanding and response to it. So pre-framing is essentially a frame you present before (or with) information, so that the information itself is interpreted in relationship to it.

This technique is used a lot in sales. For example, say you are wedding dress shopping and the lady at the bridal shop says something like, "So, what are you looking for today? Are you looking to invest in your dream dress, or for something more budget-friendly?"

If your answer is that you're looking for your dream dress, then you pretty much acknowledged it will be expensive and committed to spending a lot of money. If you say you're going for the budget option, now you can't be too upset if the dress isn't your dream dress or not what you had in mind.

There are a couple things you can do if someone does this, which all involve rejecting the framing of the situation. The first would be to basically change the frame, which is reframing what they said. When it comes to the wedding dress, it could be saying, "I looked through your website and saw you have beautiful dresses at various price ranges." In the case of the man, a reframe would be, "Well, I don't think you're either wild and crazy or boring and lame. It's not that binary."

The other option would be to not answer the question. When you make whatever someone is saying irrelevant or refuse to respond, it's called de-framing. In the case of the dress, it would be, "Actually, I already have a few dresses in mind." In the situation with this man, it would be saying something like, "I'm more the type to keep that to myself." More examples of de-frames would be, "Why would you like to know?" or "I don't think that really matters." I mean, best option is run but I'm just giving some examples lol.

boiledgatorade_ · 2020-10-06T13:19:58+00:00

I personally love when guys touch me in my sensitive private parts after handling hot wings /s

PhinandPw · 2020-10-06T11:12:06+00:00

This is horrifying on so many levels

runawayfast999 · 2020-10-06T12:27:37+00:00

Lmao. These men are trying soooo hard to make it seem like they're the ones in control. Yah I'm just gonna message some b*tch off Hinge while I'm watching the game (that's manly right dudebros?), tell her to come to ME, then rap-I mean "cave man" her in my shitty SUV. I'm so alpha I totally get laid like this alllll the tiiiime.

Yah right. Girls barely look your way let alone drop everything they're doing to get fucked in an empty parking lot.

hazelbroom · 2020-10-06T14:54:48+00:00

The Gift of Fear calls this "are you a boring girl or not" technique "typecasting". Its commonly used by predators (and con men) as part of his "interview" to assess if someone will be an an easy victim. He's likely to only attack the women who laugh at the neg and try to convince him they're not boring by doing what he wants (it's human nature to want to be seen favourably and it's hard to be insulted without refuting them). Rapists are cowards and are looking for the most vulnerable prey. This could be a real date rapist's post. Using this "interview" technique, he could get away with it for a long time because he is likely to only get girls who will not go to the police or scream because all the less vulnerable women will leave after he says this creepy boundary pushing shit and not follow him anywhere.

More examples of typecasting: "Oh, I bet you're too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me." The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue. “You are way to pretty to be interested in me.” “I bet you think you are too strong to accept help from a man.” “I bet you wouldn’t even give a guy like me a smile.”

This page lists the other warning signs given in the Gift of Fear (which I think was written before PUA techniques became as well known). It's a great book with an extensive dating section. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.combatkravmagatucson.com/single-post/2017/10/10/Psychological-Manipulations-Frequently-Used-by-Predators-on-Women-According-to-Gavin-De-Becker. Any of these techniques should tell you this is a predator who means you harm, get away from him!

Lavender_flow · 2020-10-06T12:57:04+00:00

Yeah I am certain there is SO many women who would love to meet a guy at hooters and then go fuck him in his car. Sure fucking thing. What a bunch of fictitious bullshit. I think he lures women to his car to rape them. Women need to stay safe from these psychotic men.

runawayfast999 · 2020-10-06T11:39:35+00:00

And also: “I’ve had tons of car sex before” reads like “I’ve never had any kind of sex before.”

AnniaT · 2020-10-06T13:38:44+00:00

I want to vomit at the audacity of this scrote. I've had many men negging me too and challenging me with the "you're not open minded/you're boring good girl" when I refused stuff like this or Netflix and chill dates. Even when I was a full blown pickmeisha, this annoyed the crap out of me.

Does this even work? If I'm going to a date and I get to the place and the scrote is already eating (to avoid paying the meal? Lol), I'm leaving. And I'll block any asshole that comes with the negging/ "I thought you were open minded/adventurous/spontaneous" BS. No ifs no buts.

BellaMob · 2020-10-06T13:46:08+00:00

The only thing he went cave man on is a bag of Doritos while ha fantasized about assaulting a woman.

"Invite her to hooters where I am already eating" "Lots of touching from first minute" "Go cave man on her". He does not have sex.

stressedheaux · 2020-10-06T13:40:21+00:00

hooters

for a DATE

KAT_85 · 2020-10-06T15:05:41+00:00

This is obviously disgusting... But I'm thinking that he's trying to sell some shitty ebook or other bs about his "success" with women. It's total PUA fantasy, right down him refusing to give her even the dubious pleasure of his company while they eat together. Pure hatred of women, plain and simple. I'm never getting married/seriously dating again if my marriage doesn't last/I end up a widow for some reason. That said, I am going to make my daughters absolutely brutal in the face of this shit. Men took advantage of our good nature and now the pushback happens. Time to reintroduce standards.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-10-06T15:08:46+00:00

Ex met a girl in a mall parking lot while she was on her 30 minute break (she worked in the mall) and had sex with her... In daylight. In a car he wrecked weeks later.

If he asks for car sex. Run him over.

myousername · 2020-10-06T16:29:39+00:00

This dichotomy bothers me for so many reasons.

Adventurous/boring

Virgin/whore

Cool girl/feminazi

Men love to create these false dichotomies about women to control us, when in fact women are diverse and fall along some kind of spectrum.

SoybeanApocalypse · 2020-10-06T15:47:55+00:00

His bs false dichotomy line reminds me of those annoying pop-ups on websites that want you to subscribe to their newsletter where it's like "Are you ready to take charge of your health?" then to say no you have to click below on the line that says something like "No, I'm a lazy fuck" 😆

achelois_healer · 2020-10-06T15:46:25+00:00

Yea I’m a proud boring good girl.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2020-10-06T14:52:07+00:00

Didn't happen.

No woman is boning a stranger full of chicken wings and beer. Go home, take a shower, and get all that grease out of your neckbeard before you even look my way.
He wants us to believe that he puts women in the mood by immediately putting his hands all over her the moment they meet? Fucking please. I guess I don't know what's going on in the minds of women who meet random scrotes for sex, but I can't imagine there's a woman in the world who likes to be groped within minutes of meeting some greasy, misogynist degenerate.

DadaExperiment · 2020-10-06T15:52:20+00:00

I think a lot of people in the comments are misguided if you think this doesn't happen in the era of hookup culture. Just go read the other dating subs for awhile. Yes, women are screwing these lowlifes.

Hahane · 2020-10-06T15:20:58+00:00

So what does he do if a girl says: I'm lame and boring type?

fim_de_semana · 2020-10-06T14:08:58+00:00

Car sex is uncomfortable. Beds exist for that.

DoeEyedBrownSkin · 2020-10-06T16:19:56+00:00

“Besides this being illegal...” killed me 😂 laughing on the road right now.

Jokes aside, who birthed this imbecile?!

Most women know that “spontaneous”, “go with the flow”, “don’t take yourself seriously” shit are for the “cool girls” to succumb to easy sex.

Dumbo.

jayohday · 2020-10-06T16:45:59+00:00

Go “cave man” on her? You fucking predator!

LondonDaPink · 2020-10-06T16:02:12+00:00

So he's blatantly admitting that he wants to rape women??? I think men really are the weakest link...

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2020-10-06T16:35:22+00:00

Here’s another chapter for the incel fanfiction novel I’m putting together.

No, you’re not going to get laid in your 1998 Chevy after eating a whole platter of wings by a woman you met online and met up with at Hooters. Hooters!

The line you recite next does not matter. No matter what you say, dear scrote, you aren’t getting laid. No woman would ever agree to meet you at Hooters and watch you watch the game and eat fried foods in the first place, let alone go with you to fuck in the car.

The males on these incel subs are so dumb and gullible. They’ll believe these “tactics” actually work. And when they don’t, what happens? We get raped. 😡

feminologie_ · 2020-10-06T16:44:55+00:00

When a rapist tells on himself.

juliet-elia · 2020-10-06T16:20:09+00:00

Negging from a male perspective.

localgirlcult · 2020-10-06T16:45:14+00:00

How low does your self esteem actually have to be to meet this...man, at some place like Hooters(that felt fucking stupid to even write) and then when you arrive, he's already stuffing his fat face with whatever greasy food he ordered. I would hope even many of the most severe cases would think that's too much.

2020-10-06T17:07:24+00:00

i’m not gonna fuck a dude with oily finger tips and buffalo breath after 30 mins of knowing him. and definitely not in the back of his 2001 honda civic

Hedy__Lamarr · 2020-10-06T17:15:59+00:00

This is another reminder that you should never get in a man's car. And carry pepper spray. What he's describing is sexual assault. Simply getting into his car willingly is what he sees as permission.

The whole post reeks of desperation. Any guy who is actually getting laid wouldn't have to think up a plan like this. A man this desperate is desperate for a reason. He's likely a disgusting bag of pus that is repulsive to even look at.

pao664 · 2020-10-06T17:16:48+00:00

Gross and depraved. These dudes need to spend some time in jail for rape.

Aw_Hail_No · 2020-10-06T17:42:55+00:00

So, basically rape her.

He's giving his play by play on how he would rape someone in a Hooters parking lot.

mizchanandlerbong · 2020-10-06T18:00:26+00:00

[deleted]

YveisGrey · 2020-10-06T20:46:06+00:00

OK so the “car sex” he’s been having is actually just raping women??

la_bel_iconnu · 2020-10-06T16:46:22+00:00

She's gonna be so disappointed when she gets to his car and finds that his "fun adventure" is actually "let's fuck in a cramped back seat like teens with no other options".

aclick1999 · 2020-10-06T17:23:44+00:00

What in the actual fuck? Women, can we start showing up to dates at fancy restaurants early, ordering the surf and turf and a bottle of champagne, and leaving him with the bill once he opens his mouth?

2020-10-06T18:06:12+00:00

They have no concept of seduction.

usually_compliant · 2020-10-06T20:23:04+00:00

How we doing on that #IncelFanFic tag?

Epic_Brunch · 2020-10-06T21:28:51+00:00

I cannot see how this would ever possibly work on any woman except all but the most desperate of pickmeshas.

First of all, I wouldn’t even accept a date if the guy asked me to meet him at fucking hooters. That place is tacky as hell and their wings suck. BWW is fine, but it’s not a “date” restaurant. My fiancé and I have eaten there, but not as a date. More like “it’s Thursday night and we don’t feel like cooking” kinda restaurant. So yeah, right off the bat this clueless moron would fail.

Second, let’s assume he came to his senses and somehow managed to lure a woman by actually suggesting a decent date night restaurant. If I walked in and saw my date didn’t wait for me to order his meal, I’d walk right back out. That’s rude as fuck.

Not to mention “are you a lame boring good girl”. Fucker please, that’s an obvious desperate neg.

“I’ve had a ton of car sex in the past”. Jacking off in your mom’s minivan doesn’t count you fucking dork.

2020-10-06T11:44:20+00:00

I have never been prouder to be “lame and boring.”

Ningernaught · 2020-10-06T23:35:04+00:00

Certified D-Bag

anotherdamnloser · 2020-10-07T02:06:43+00:00

Car sex = he jacks off in the front seat

xdecadent · 2020-10-07T07:49:56+00:00

Is it wrong that when I read the lame, good girl line that I saw myself saying “why yes, yes I am.” While smiling and pulling out my current crochet project lmao.

Like how rude can you be? Inviting a woman to a sport bar/chain wing spot and already being half way through your meal before she gets there? Touching and carrying on from the minute she sits down? Pressure cooking the date for 15 raggedy ass minutes?!

The bar is in hell. And that man is a rapist. Wtf.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2020-10-07T08:07:07+00:00

LOL "r/seduction"

Title	When men mean when they “tease” you about being “boring” and not “adventurous” enough: car sex
Author	runawayfast999
Upvotes	296
Comments	122
Date	October 6, 2020 11:02 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j63201/when_men_mean_when_they_tease_you_about_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-men-mean-when-they-tease-you-about-being.324138 https://theredarchive.com/post/324138

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