Confidence doesn't help physically unattractive men

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-03-27T11:41:38+00:00

No incel content

YoungArabBrother · 2022-03-27T00:42:53+00:00

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meteorness123 · 2022-03-26T21:20:25+00:00

If you're significantly below averge, not that much

If you're at least average or above, it matters greatly

calfshrug · 2022-03-26T21:21:03+00:00

The other side of the coin is that confidence is necessary to assert oneself, whether they are attractive or not, and the acquisition of relationships may follow enacting confidence

2022-03-26T21:29:25+00:00

i agree. i don’t think confidence makes a guy more attractive unless he’s at least somewhat attractive to begin with.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-03-26T21:43:48+00:00

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PuzzleheadedBus9605 · 2022-03-26T21:35:34+00:00

The fact that these men tried flirting with women who are paid to be nice to them shows me they are idiots. No one wants to date an idiot. It’s like people who try and flirt with the waitress

Nemo_Jose · 2022-03-26T22:50:45+00:00

If confidence is only relative to guys that women are already attracted to, is it really confidence they’re attracted to? I think maybe it’s the fact they probably won’t have to make the first move and potentially embarrass themselves, or put themselves at any emotional risk if the guy is confident, because he’ll do all that.. essentially like outsourcing the potential of being rejected

SavageAnalFissure · 2022-03-26T21:39:08+00:00

Halo effect plain and simple. You can afford to be bold and flirty when you are pleasant to the eye. If you look like shit know your place.

DicamVeritatem · 2022-03-26T22:33:42+00:00

Male confidence is like male big dicks.

They’re only a positive if the woman otherwise finds a man physically attractive.

twotimegoat · 2022-03-26T23:32:53+00:00

Good looking people tend to be far more confident on average than their counter part is another over looked PILL when ppl talk about this aspect

Due to more Positive feedback. Their jokes, personality etc will be always taken better.

sarkington · 2022-03-26T21:48:23+00:00

It does. But it has to be confidence in something real

revente · 2022-03-26T23:02:20+00:00

There’s no single ‚adjustment’ that will get you one particular woman.

But a shy unattractive guy will get 1 out of 1000 and a confident one will get maybe like 5 out of 1000.

And frankly these are some good odds. 1 out of 200. You can approach that many over a single month.

CatchPhraze · 2022-03-27T00:53:11+00:00

If your hot but meek you fuck it up too. It's not an either/or. It's a hot and confident thing.

Regular looking men can tip the scales, but if your unfortunate looking, nearly nothing but improving that will help

doMEaSOLid_reddit · 2022-03-26T22:45:31+00:00

I don't know what it's like to be below average attractiveness. From what I have observed though from winging with lesser looking guys. If I was below average I think in any interaction to hit on a woman I would start off being just friendly and gregarious and steer away from being too sharp with language or off color humor or jokes that are too risky. Stick to dropping conversation bait about events and things you are going to or that are going on in town that are fun and anyone would want to talk about a bit.

It feels like the best route is this friendliness & showing a window into your lifestyle off the bat gives you a chance to simmer a bit into actually hitting on a girl directly and being more bold. Like a sort of foreplay as introduction to your more confident persona.

Sucks, but if a lesser looking guy wants to bat above himself in looks I think this is often needed.

AquaChip · 2022-03-26T21:23:34+00:00

I see what you mean.

As a woman I've definitely had to check myself AFTER the fact having interracted with some guys who could be said to have been behaving with genuine "confidence".

I've in the moment thought a guy was being weird/arrogant when they were actually just not my type physically so I suppose I expected certain behaviour and found it odd in the moment and actually, to be fair, it was just the guy being confident.

EITHER way, I've never really found myself attracted to a guy I didn't like the "visual vibe" and demeanour of first. Confidence with guys who ARENT MY TYPE (note NOT unattractive) has always put me on the defensive initially.

rhumel · 2022-03-26T22:45:03+00:00

I find that some men think being confident is lying to the world about how they feel through their body gestures. Doesn’t work.

Ir you’re really confident people won’t cringe and, furthermore and more importantly, you wouldn’t give a fuck about the opinion of a random female who thinks that can judge people because she has a nice pair of boobs and a pussy-driven power that’s on a timer.

yayayubsea · 2022-03-26T21:52:56+00:00

Lol yes it does, and in my opinion (as a woman), it’s not necessarily a bad thing

ayudameporpha · 2022-03-26T21:53:52+00:00

i got to hit because im goofy

boomcheese44 · 2022-03-26T22:43:02+00:00

Being hot to someone is the only thing that matters. Everything else falls after that. I wish everyone would just agree and move on from this.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-03-26T23:36:59+00:00

Because women can tell they aren't actually confident men because it screams of being fake. If it comes across as more natural you'll have success.

gopher_glitz · 2022-03-27T03:48:48+00:00

If you're GLE (good looking enough) it matters a lot.

banjocatto · 2022-03-27T04:46:58+00:00

Confidence is a great. The issue is though, that many men (and women for that matter) don't understand the difference between confidence and entitlement/arrogance.

pale_scars · 2022-03-27T06:55:16+00:00

Here’s the cold hard truth. By confidence, we mean, don’t be a dick, don’t show your dick unless requested, and most importantly, wash your dick. Get that shit soaped up. And down. And up. Masturbate. You can’t be giving off aggressive horny vibes and expect to make the girl comfortable. Give yourself a good whack, get to know yourself and learn to love you. Also, try not to be so hard on yourself. You’re worthy of love, but you have to understand that you are one person among 7 billion, and everybody has their own will. As a species certain stereotypes can definitely appear, but every person has their own consciousness. And out of all of those individuals there will be somebodies, and and their somebodies. When you find a somebody, they may not be the endgame, but you try each other on, you see what you can live with and what you can’t live without, and through all this you will eventually find your fit. And it’s not always perfect, rarely so, but you make that daily commitment to actively love, not just in the bedroom, but in little actions, little phrases.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-03-26T21:38:40+00:00

physically unattractive men

First impressions count. It’s why lifting is a core tenet of TRP. Posture and carriage. Grooming. All communicate non-verbally you’re confident, because you taking pride in your appearance.

Confidence is best communicated through your actions. Not words.

Godspeed and good luck!

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-03-27T03:12:53+00:00

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Panda-997 · 2022-03-27T03:16:19+00:00

Because you're missing the point.

Women's advice to men comes from a place of "I wish the guys I like did this." It does not come from a place of "This is how you become a guy I like."

2022-03-26T22:25:21+00:00

Confidence matters. But, no it won't overcome being obese and ugly. But, if you're super hot and ripped, but also a socially inept geek who can't even maintain eye contact, you're not that appealing either. You need an element of both attractiveness, humor, charisma, etc.

2022-03-26T22:33:32+00:00

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BoreDominated · 2022-03-27T00:11:28+00:00

It's not just confidence, it's also things like mannerisms, voice and charisma. A physically unattractive or average guy can score way beyond his means if he has a charismatic personality. Confidence alone isn't gonna get you anywhere if there's nothing else attractive about you, but it does supplement your already existing positive traits.

The real question is whether or not you can teach charisma, which is debatable. I go back and forth, I think some people naturally have it, but others can develop it with enough time and practice.

calfshrug · 2022-03-26T21:19:55+00:00

I believe it’s not completely true, what you’ve asserted. It’s only true if the confident people are “coming on” or being creepy, behaving in an obliviously confident manner

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-03-26T22:33:25+00:00

Disagree; only because I've seen this. I have a buddy who is below average attractiveness and he pulls women non-stop because he's confident. It also helps that he's funny and charismatic, but the point remains.

xsurferdude123x · 2022-03-26T23:41:42+00:00

It matters regardless…..and here’s why….

As a guy who’s rated physically as a 9 and 10 consistently by many many women of all ages, that’s not an automatic ticket to intimacy with her.

Being blessed with good looks….doesn’t mean shit

There’s been many times when I’ve flopped picking up girls especially in my early dating days.

Finally when I turned 21, I asked a girl who turned me down and we remained friends….why and she said, to me, if a guys attractive his confidence has to match his appearance otherwise it just seems weird to me.

Ever since hearing that, I immediately started leveling up myself from the inside out.

Confidence is key for anything in life.

We cannot go far in life without believing in ourselves.

Period.

johnnyferrera · 2022-03-27T06:56:35+00:00

Lol, confidence definitely helps non attractive guys (like myself). It makes us push through the rejection so that at some point after the 150th rejection you'll get some chick to fuck you. Confidence definitely doesn't help you pull Chad numbers, but you were never gonna get that anyway.

dxfifa · 2022-03-26T22:46:56+00:00

Of course it fucking helps. What an idiotic conclusion.

Any guy will get more than he would otherwise being confident, even a fuckin ugly dude will pull some 2s and 3s if he's talking to them like he knows he's the shit, and not in a way that means he thinks he looks good, but in a way that he believes he's just a fucking great guy who everyone loves.

Women take notice of big dick energy, even if you're too ugly to fuck, they still really enjoy men who just have game and attitude, as long as he knows the limits and when to back off.

A lot of decently presented old guys who know they're out of the game try to banter and flirt with young ladies and if they're respectful and smooth without expecting shit most young women tend to enjoy it, and old guys aren't hot.

You might say they're playing along, but women don't play along if it's not a little fun. And a lot of older men have full self acceptance and charm which comes through

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-03-26T21:23:31+00:00

Well most men are average so it will help most people

2022-03-27T02:33:31+00:00

Your ugly confident dude was shooting out of his league

kaosmoker · 2022-03-27T03:43:31+00:00

A confident person will always be more attractive than a person lacking confidence.

MaliciousMack · 2022-03-27T05:30:31+00:00

I disagree. Confidence in an of itself is an attractive trait that can boost someone’s perception of you as a result, potentially boosting a man’s attractiveness.

It’s all subjective at the end of the day. Plenty of women won’t change their opinion regarding dating someone based on confidence alone, but some may. People are unpredictable

HazyMemory7 · 2022-03-27T06:19:52+00:00

True. Whether something is perceived as creepy or charming often has more to do with how attractive you are than what you say. I feel like I can say whatever the hell I want to the girls I talk to and they will laugh regardless of whether it was funny or not. I will straight up say "ur ass is fat" when there's a moment of silence while we're cuddling and they start cracking up. Or use the dumb "are you from tennesee" and "did it hurt when you fell from heaven" pick up lines as openers on the apps lmfao. 3-4 years ago the same girls probably would not have thought I was very funny or charming, or have been as receptive to the things I say, hell they may have even found it creepy.

johnnyferrera · 2022-03-27T07:00:38+00:00

I'm starting to get a little pissed at all the whining on this sub. Life is not about fairness, it's about leverage. Deshaun Watson has 22 civil suits pending against him on accusations of sexual assault, he also recently just signed for the most guaranteed money in NFL history. Get yourself some leverage and the pussy will roll in. No one is lees attractive than a whiner fishing for sympathy through self pity, people smell that shit a mile away.

wtknight · 2022-03-26T23:44:53+00:00

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tantamle · 2022-03-26T22:38:14+00:00

Interesting, I think there’s some truth to this.

AquaChip · 2022-03-26T22:48:03+00:00

It definitely helps average men it doesn’t help butt ugly men. But you’re going to have a far worse life being ugly and insecure than you are being ugly and confident.

SteveSan82 · 2022-03-26T23:47:10+00:00

You're talking about a work situation. Not the same as cold approaching on the street or cafe.

Counter_Proposition · 2022-03-27T02:08:39+00:00

confidence in a man means nothing to women.

Not that I really disagree with you, but I wouldn't go that far. Think about two more-or-less equally attractive men - if man "A" is super confident and man "B" is painfully awkward and insecure, then obviously man A will clean up and man B won't.

OldStorageUnit · 2022-03-27T02:40:20+00:00

I think that the general consensus is to not flirt with service workers (they don’t have much autonomy in the situation.

BecretAlbatross · 2022-03-27T02:59:45+00:00

Confidence no, but I'd say competence and charisma will help an unattractive guy.

2022-03-27T04:55:00+00:00

This is anecdotal. But I'm not the most good looking man, however I put effort on my clothes, hair and muscles. I am very confident too and I've been rejected a quadrillion times and also got laid a bunch of times sometimes with model looking women. Like just because 2 women think I'm unattractive and creepy doesn't mean every woman will think that way, just can't let that get into my head.

TheMorningJoe · 2022-03-27T07:36:12+00:00

Agreed, confidence is an attractive trait but doesn’t makes a dude attractive

At the end of the day physical and mental attraction is two sides of the same coin

JameisBong · 2022-03-27T07:44:38+00:00

Work vs social setting, come back and let us know when you observe that. Waitresses do not like being hit on at work, i would imagine it's not very different in whatever you do.

Ren_Yi · 2022-03-27T08:07:39+00:00

It's all about attractiveness. If she/her friends finds a guy unattractive then no amount of confidence will change her mind. In fact if she find him unattractive and he is being confident then she'll usually see him as creepy or arrogant.

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2022-03-27T08:24:30+00:00

People also tend to massively dislike being hit on while they are at work.

Being hit on when you have to be nice to the person who won't pick up on any hints and won't leave isn't going to endear them to anyone.

ThunderToffee · 2022-03-27T08:31:06+00:00

Well duh. And the best example of this is Howard from TBBT. He has the same confidence and energy as that other Chad physicist (that Leonard has a man crush on), and yet gets treated like a sex predator throughout the series Rofl.

Georgist_Muddlehead · 2022-03-27T08:33:05+00:00

I think they aren't necessarily completely separable. Being confident or unconfindent change what you notice about someone, how you see them.

The other point is that being confident won't outweigh being unattractive. But at a certain level of attractiveness, it makes a difference.

ToucheMF · 2022-03-27T09:09:02+00:00

Appearance matters a lot in first impressions. That’s reality and won’t change the laws of attraction. Many people have hit the gym their whole lives, investing in attracting someone. My ex spouse did exactly this after our divorce to hopefully attract someone. First impressions are just opportunities. Once you get to know someone, like my ex, they are completely unattractive no matter what they weigh.

jah-roole · 2022-03-27T11:12:13+00:00

Being attractive is a door, confidence is what takes you through it so you really need a little bit of the first and a lot of the second to make it through and keep the interest level high. On the other hand, I am not sure what you mean by unattractive. Both men and women eventually learn where they land in terms of attractiveness and need to choose a mate. The (I don’t like to use the word unattractive as a general term) less attractive folks will eventually hook up with other less attractive folks. A problem comes up for people with unrealistic expectations or severe lack of motivation and those either end up alone, with a house full of cats or lots of cheap hookers.

So I guess what I’d like to know is, what do you consider unattractive?

Title	Confidence doesn't help physically unattractive men
Author	cherryapp
Upvotes	156
Comments	209
Date	March 26, 2022 9:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tp4abp/confidence_doesnt_help_physically_unattractive_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/confidence-doesnt-help-physically-unattractive-men.1110118 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110118

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