If hypergamy exists, why are there so many couples which disprove it?

leosandlattes · 2025-03-16T20:06:20+00:00

Hypergamy is seeking out the best man that you have access to, especially in comparison to other men in that space. Meaning a woman's hypergamous urge is limited by her social proximity, social class, location, etc.

Some trailer trash brokie could very well be the most masculine, capable, and competent man in the whole trailer park and be the best option for the trailer park women. Same with nerd/geek spaces—there is going to be some top or most desirable men even within those spaces.

However you are partially right; the men who think multi-millionaire models are the only men who experience real attraction are deluded.

I think women's attraction hinges heavily on whether we can respect that man, whether we view him as competent. So yes I think hypergamy is absolutely real in that sense.

weenieandthebutt · 2025-03-16T23:13:13+00:00

Broke men in trailer parks live in more rural areas and are usually more low-inhibited.

The anime cosplay couple were probably high school sweethearts with the guy having lucked out. I'd argue if the relationship ended, the guy would be unable to find another (so many dudes remain perpetually single and sexless for years after breakups).

The fat bloated dudes married were probably once young and fit during the early dating stages. Women are more relaxed in the looks department once a relationship is established but first impressions are always crucial with minor flaws/quirks being often unforgivable.

Most_Read_1330 · 2025-03-17T03:51:08+00:00

Women that want a relationship end up realizing that the top men won't commit and settle for what they can get. But they will always be looking to upgrade if the opportunity arises.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-03-17T09:57:42+00:00

What people want, and what people can realize are different things.

soontobesolo · 2025-03-16T19:32:16+00:00

Finding exceptions or outliers doesn't negate the claim. No one is claiming that every single woman adheres to it. We are working with general trends and overall behavior.

berichorbeburied · 2025-03-16T19:08:55+00:00

Some women have no options and settle
Technically that would still be hypergamy as that is there best option
Some women are forced into situations
That’s an example that would explain some situations
Some women are unaware of what they want get into a situation and stay or feel stuck and stay or cost sunk fallacy or etc
That explains some situations
Some women think they are being hypergamous but actually aren’t
That explains some situations
Some women understanding hypergamy and conventional standards rebel and choose the opposite out of spite
That explains some situations
Some women do it for “love”
That explains some situations
All in all the point being in the grand scheme of things if we take life in a pie and split it up
More times than not you will see women being hypergamous
But it will not be 100%
The times they are not usually revolve around them being forced not to be or them rebelling from conventional attractive standards of that society or because they are unaware
More times than not they will be
For example a woman could choose to be with a man shorter than her because she’s tired of hearing how all women date men taller than them
That could happen. But she’s just being rebellious and more times than not that won’t happen

Pepes_parrillaXXX69 · 2025-03-17T00:10:19+00:00

Sometimes it's exceptions, most other times is Beta buxx

AreOut · 2025-03-16T19:05:17+00:00

how many is "so many"?! We know it exists because a lot of us had experienced it at least once. Monkey branching to a guy that's more rich or has a higher status and preparing their case for months before breaking up("muh feelings" "you have changed" and other stupid excuses while they are making sure the next guy is "baked" enough).

Yes. some women don't exercise it, but many still do.

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2025-03-17T01:37:27+00:00

Don't take "dating" too seriously. Come back once she locks him down. Some reasons include.

She views him as a "settled" man. (In most cases, the man is equal +- a level).
He is being used as a chore monkey.
He is a placeholder.
She has some niche attraction
She only has access to him.
He is putting in 4x the effort compared to desired men.

just_a_place · 2025-03-17T05:50:57+00:00

Exceptions don't disprove the rule.

abaxeron · 2025-03-17T12:05:34+00:00

"If god isn't real, who wrote the bible? Checkmate, atheists", my favorite kind of threads.

There are balding and overweight men who find partners every single day in America.

Yes; and there are also women with breasts who find partners. One of these things is not like the others. Having a clear natural innate phenotype marker of functioning androgen sensitivity is not a deformity, or injury, or a sign of poor life choices.

Why is it that the world's richest man has (at least) 14 children with what, 5? 6? women?

Why is it that the world's most powerful man has five children with three ex models?

Why is it that employment and financial vulnerability are associated with having a romantic partner in opposite directions for men and women?

I mean. If hypergamy is totes not real.

Redpillers will loudly and emphatically proclaim how women only want the top 20% or 10% or 5% of men in terms of looks, status, and

"And"? "And" what? Oh yes. Money. One thing you decided to leave out.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-03-16T19:43:42+00:00

The shot clock is running out, women have to make their life checklist happen, and necessity becomes a virtue.

But don’t you worry, once the kids are grown up women will cut ties and try, try again.

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ImmaDrainOnSociety · 2025-03-20T02:45:13+00:00

Redpillers will loudly and emphatically proclaim how women only want the top 20% or 10% or 5%

"Want" and "get" are not the same thing. Eventually a girl has to settle.

Broke men living in trailer parks get married and start families.

They're not marrying models, are they?

Men who are heroin addicts get married and have wives who supply them with their fix.

Were they addicts before the marriage? Is she clean?

There are geeky couples attending anime conventions who cosplay together, and ones who are part of the furry fandom.

You ever see the women that attend conventions? I don't mean the cosplayers there to get their photos taken.

There are balding and overweight men who find partners every single day in America.

Nobody, other than cels, is saying there isn't. They either have resources or their partner also isn't great.

Men with disabilities and deformities manage to find beautiful women to date.

If they have resources of some kind for her. Appearing on the news because you're a beautiful woman dating Quasimodo is a resource.

Title	If hypergamy exists, why are there so many couples which disprove it?
Author	Appropriate_Cry_885
Upvotes	37
Comments	157
Date	March 16, 2025 6:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jcs930/if_hypergamy_exists_why_are_there_so_many_couples/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-hypergamy-exists-why-are-there-so-many-couples.1546740 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546740

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