N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD

AutoModerator · 2025-10-11T16:00:34+00:00

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[–]OtPayOkerSmayRed Pill Man, Devil's Advocate [score hidden] 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk2 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]OtPayOkerSmay1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]K4matayonJimmy you are always down [score hidden] 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]autistic_cool_kid1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]grillopieThats like, your opinion Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]K4matayonJimmy you are always down [score hidden] 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]grillopieThats like, your opinion Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]K4matayon2 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]grillopie1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]K4matayon1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]grillopie1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]K4matayon1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]grillopie2 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ta06012022Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The difficult part about analyzing the personalities of high N women is that they don’t necessarily need to have any personality traits to get laid a lot.

The one major thing it tells you about her personality is that she's less inclined to commit compared to the average woman. People who don't naturally seek commitment tend to sleep with someone then move onto the next rather than settling down. That's why they end up with high partner counts.

If a woman has a high n count, it's typically because she's not inclined to commit. If a woman has a low n count, it's a sign that she is inclined to commit, because as you point out, any woman who wants casual sex can get it.

Low n count is less telling for men. It could be a sign that he's inclined to commit or it could just be a sign that he's been unsuccessful in his attempts at casual sex. The fact that it's low is no guarantee that he's actually looking for commitment.

[–]attendquoi2 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]K4matayon3 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]attendquoi2 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago* (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Best way to know of it hookup sex was good is if she’s trying to come back for more later

Right, but I’ve had that even since I was a 16 year old virgin and my first girlfriend I broke up with wanted to still sleep with me. It has never been a thing that women would say they dislike sleeping with me. The part that confuses me is when women say crap like “some men are more skilled than others”, which I don’t entirely know what they mean

As for “only 20 percent” that could be true

As far as I can tell, there is absolutely no way only 1 in 5 women can get off from piv. It’s way more common than that. I also can’t tell which women are exaggerating if they say something like “you’re my first partnered orgasm”, because that seems like something someone would “just say” to boost their partner’s ego

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-Insight1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk2 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]PM_ME_ZED_BARABlue Pill Man (gayyy, high n, in LTR) 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]half_avocado33No Pill Woman 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KapoueBlue Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man [score hidden] 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman [score hidden] 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kalashhhhhhhh2 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-6312 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Reasonable_Mouse7891 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago (50 children) | Copy Link

[–]Excellent_Badger123Purple Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KapoueBlue Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PM_ME_ZED_BARABlue Pill Man (gayyy, high n, in LTR) 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AngeAwareBlue Pill Woman and the Prisoner of This Subreddit 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Past-Shoulder-6311 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago* (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb [score hidden] 9 months ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man [score hidden] 9 months ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_Council1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SmarmyPapsmears1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_Council1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ta06012022Man 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchARetired Promiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Corbast7Blue / Feminist + Leftist / no war but class war 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]P1anth0Purple Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

My husband asked, other men did not but the other guys already knew I was waiting for marriage so they wouldn’t have asked anyways. Small community of people and everyone felt entitled to tell anyone my business for whatever reason. However the was a mix of men who clearly preferred higher or lower body count partners. I do think body count is common for men to think about especially when deciding if they will still around long or short term because my sluttier friends had a revolving door of men and they were heart broken when things did not progress. Most men were/are pretty vocal about not being interested in women like that for long term relationships it isn’t a secret.. Even the woman around me knew players cheated… It is a recent delusion that body count suddenly doesn’t matter.. And the men who didn’t care were also the kind of men who had 0 standards and low quality. I’ve never looked at a man with that mindset and thought he was attractive, classy or had the options to care..

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Desperate-Exit7423Black Pilled Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]half_avocado33No Pill Woman 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]operation-spot3 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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even active women dont want passive men.

Y'all need to stop using the low standards of a minority of men as an excuse for anything. If men are that pathetic, it's not a shock that they're single.

First of all having a high charisma is not a high standard at all, someone is not a worst person or anything just because they re uncharismatic, second of all is not a minority, the majority of men dont care about that and thats how it is, 3rd dont u see the cognitive dissonance of claiming "men are single because they have low standards"?, theres absolutely no correlation there, theres many reason why someone can be single that pertain the individual and being okay with woman who isnt charismatic is not one of them, nobody thinks, just because you dissaprove of their standards doesnt means singledom is some sort of punishment towards them, what a narcissistic thing to say.

[–]attendquoi1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]MoonriseOverEarth1 point 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So, if a woman was promiscuous, she has to accept you being a non-functional slob who won't take care of himself, won't give gifts, and is a boring stick in the mud who can't drive?

Charisma is not a solely masculine trait. Many women are charismatic. Neither is gift giving, by the way. Ask my exes and my now husband. He received gifts. He receives gifts to this day. Leather jackets, scotch, and fresh baked bread. Women drive, exercise, and take care of themselves - the gym isn't the sole territory of men.

i don't know if I classify as high body count or not, but I've definitely done some things. I'd see no reason to pair with any man that offers nothing but his "forgiveness" of my sexual history. I never had to make that choice, though.

You are allowed to value what you want. You do you.

[–]PSXSnack093 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So, if a woman was promiscuous, she has to accept you being a non-functional slob who won't take care of himself, won't give gifts, and is a boring stick in the mud who can't drive?

Either gender roles and expectations are lenient for both or deal with it.

Charisma is not a solely masculine trait. Many women are charismatic.

My point is that a woman doesnt has to be charismatic for a man to love her.

I'd see no reason to pair with any man that offers nothing but his "forgiveness" of my sexual history.

I see no reason neither to pair with a woman who cant fulfill my emotional needs while at the same time expecting me to fill the roles that will fulfill hers, therefore i ll go be a functional active person who takes care of himself, gives gifts, is charismatic and drives for a woman who hasnt been around :)

[–]JMoon332 points 9 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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You mean incompatibility? You entire point so far was that different views meant they are incompatible.

Either way, to answer your question - you're not supposed to see why something wouldn't do something, you are supposed to see why it would. See the concept of burden of proof. You don't prove negatives, you have to prove positives. And there's no reason why sex alone would mean people are incompatible. There are many others things in a relationships. And different views/values around sex wouldn't even mean they are sexually incompatible, let alone fully incompatible. Even being sexually incompatible doesn't mean that people are incompatible in general, and you are talking about just some different views on a certain thing.

And it's even more obvious in your case. Since the view you didn't like was that he views sex as expression of love. There's literally no reason why he wouldn't be compatible with you. It's like the O- blood type - universal donor that can be compatible with anyone.

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They are called clitoral erections. I googled when writing that and that's why didn't write about two sexes separately.

No, it's coming from a position of knowing definitions and reading about stuff as opposed to one's narrow mind and tunnel vision. Nobody says you shouldn't tolerate it. The point is, different views don't mean you are sexually incompatible. You can have different views but still have satisfying quantity and quality. And of course, again, even if they mean sexual incompatibility, that still doesn't imply that people are incompatible in general. Because it's actually not that important if you read/listen to what is said about relationships. Sex is only one factor. But of course, you are free to support your positive claims with anything other than your opinion and then maybe they wouldn't have to be dismissed.

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They don’t. A feminist is just someone who believes in equal rights for women. Believing that women should be able to vote, own land, etc. are feminist beliefs. I understand that you don’t believe those things, but the vast majority of American men and women do.

And yet they also prefer men with lower n count. The best looking guy I knew in college has an n count of 2. He had a girlfriend in high school and then he met a girl at the beginning of freshman year of college. They’re still together. This guy was in my frat and I witnessed girls absolutely throw themselves at him, but he never cheated.

Cause and effect matter here. If a guy is low n or a virgin past a certain age, it could be because he’s not desirable to women. But he’s a virgin/low n because he’s undesirable, he’s not undesirable because he’s a virgin.

An attractive low n man is low n because that’s the path he’s chosen.

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As a one off event I doubt that’d get someone dumped, but you can bet there’s other offenses that come along with someone who’s paranoid / insecure enough to search your devices for dirty secrets. There’s always patterns.

Like one of my friends once dated a guy who asked her n count early on. She said that was the first time a guy asked (and she gets around), but he also ended up being really controlling about what she could wear in public, would ask to look through her phone (she’s never cheated). A lot of jealousy problems. That’s the only guy who did those things though.

So yes it wouldn’t surprise me at all that someone who’s worried that their partner might’ve fucked someone hotter than them and assumes they’re being settled for, would have other offenses that keep them from sustaining healthy relationships.

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I would find it truly bizarre if a woman didn't ask what I do. I've asked pretty much every woman I've been on a first date with. It's just an expected getting to know you question like "where did you grow up".

I also had my university and generic job description ("finance") in my dating app profiles, so I guess any woman I met at least assumed I wasn't poor. But incomes in finance range from a back office position paying <$100k up to tens of millions. Even if I were to describe my role more specifically, there would be a huge range of incomes.

The other thing to consider, at least for people in their 20s, is that real wealth generally doesn't come from your job. It comes from family money. I was a middle class kid who went to college with a lot of very rich kids. So on the surface I might look identical to another guy I graduated with who has the same job, but I have no path to inherited wealth while he has a trust fund from parents with a PJ and a houses in Nantucket and Aspen.

If you're a gold digger, someone's job generally doesn't tell you that much about wealth. It's just a normal question to ask.

[–]Corbast7Blue / Feminist + Leftist / no war but class war 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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It's impossible to know how many women are asking about a guy's career just out of curiosity vs wanting to know how much he makes.

That’s why you go off other context clues to figure out if she seems to be overall cold hearted / greedy. Women do this too in trying to figure out if a man they’re seeing is misogynistic. Plenty of men are smart enough to not say something outright offensive, but there are context clues if she’s wise to them.

It's a lot harder to frame the n-count question as a regular conversation topic.

Well apparently there’s guys who ask a woman about her relationship with her parents / father, if she enjoys nightlife, neg her to see if they can get away with it making her feel insecure, etc.. Those can be innocent, so context matters.

Dating just requires being discerning for everyone because people tend to be on their best behavior in the early stages.

[–]grillopieThats like, your opinion Man 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Do people here arguing that n count is some helpful tool for determining whether you’ll be deadbedroomed or cheated on just trying to cling onto some simple safety blanket? do you think a low n count will somehow save you from these things? it’s insane.

For cheating: you think someone capable of and willing to deceive you for long periods of time is not going to be able to lie about their n count? having some number isn’t going to protect you, you’re always going to need your judgement.

For deadbedrooms: deadbedrooms are probably physiologically inevitable. one person is probably going to lose their libido before the other, and it’s probably not going to be pleasant. if one of your top priorities is frequent sex for as long as possible, why would your actual sex not be a much better indicator of whether a deadbedroom will occur? is it frequent? does it need some occasion or is it almost pavlovian? like you sit in bed together, minding your own business, but one thing leads to another, because you’re in the bed where one thing has always lead to another? unless you absolutely cannot help but be repulsed by an n count over a very arbitrary number, how could you justify giving up a relationship where sex is easy and natural just because an n count is a few higher than whatever it is that you were hoping for as someone who values not being in a deadbedroom?

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 6 points7 points8 points 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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One struggle from the "foreveralone/inkwell"-crowd that I could never relate to is that they often claim they're mocked/bullied/ostracized for their virginity + inability to find a partner and basically regarded as second class-citizens by colleagues/classmates/family/society at large.

It also comes up often on this sub where men complain about women rejecting them for being virgins.

Very strange victim-mentality imo.

In my personal life (as an adult virgin), noone cares. Not my family, not my friends, not my co-workers, not even the girls I go on dates with. Noone knows. Nobody gives a shit. Noone ever asked. Not even when drunk.

The ONLY person who ever dug deeper after the initial "Do you have a girlfriend? - No" was a friend of mine I visited after not seeing him in years and he just found it funny and he took me to a student bar and tried to hook me up with his female acquaintances there. (Without success, but we had a fun night)

Really, it might be due to different social spheres, but in my experience, nobody cares about (male) virginity. Might be an USA thing.

[–]PixelHero92Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]autistic_cool_kidChad 38yo (Man) | Buddhistpilled & Autismaxxed 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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What benefits would you get guaranteed by picking the one with 60+ sex partners?

If you're a man who has also lost count, it could be indicative of similar attitudes towards sex, which is one aspect of compatibility. Same is true in the other direction. If you're a guy who's been with a handful of women, the woman who's been with a handful of men likely has a more similar attitude towards sex. But there are many, many aspects of compatibility, so this particular aspect probably isn't all that important in isolation in the grand scheme of things.

I know you say in this hypothetical that you're fairly compatible with both women, but "all else equal" rarely exists in the real world, especially in something like picking a partner, where so much of the "scorecard" is based on intangible, qualitative factors like personal preference. In reality, attitude towards sex is one qualitative factor on a long list of qualitative factors.

The biggest red flag in high n count is the question of whether the person is ready for commitment now. People accumulate high counts because they're not prone to commit. I say this as a guy who's lost count. For long stretches, I didn't want a relationship. But now I've been in a relationship for the last year+ and I couldn't be happier. It's all facts and circumstances.

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

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This is ignoring the fact that you are 1 single person, you are assuming they are not interested in relationships with any of the multitudes of men they're fucking?

Sure, it's possible they wanted a relationship with some of the guys, but it clearly wasn't all of the guys. As a guy who often didn't want commitment I had the same experience. Just because I didn't want commitment with most girls, doesn't mean I didn't want it with any. So yeah it's possible they wanted commitment from other guys at various points.

What if the girls live in a different state?

They didn't. They went to my college.

What if they're cheating on their boyfriend?

They weren't. These girls were single unless there was some secret long distance boyfriend that no one knew of and never showed up on her instagram.

What if you're a bad lay?

Then why continue to sleep with me on a regular basis? More likely I'm a good lay with some red flags in terms of relationship fit. I was good enough for sex, but other things clearly held them back from wanting commitment from me. In some cases those other things may have been about me, and in other cases they may have been about her. Hard to say.

The point is, it's not that uncommon (especially at a young age) for girls to have sex without the expectation of commitment. I found that it was very common among college aged girls and because less common by mid 20s.

It's a bad assumption that women want commitment from every man they sleep with. On top of my experiences with girls at my college, I'll add in the girls I hooked up with on spring break. We lived hundreds or thousands of miles apart, so they weren't sleeping with me for a relationship. Both people go into that knowing we're never seeing each other again. Same goes for girls I've met from apps who were just visiting NYC (where I live). They know that were not hanging out again after they go back home. Women aren't always looking for commitment.

[–]Unkown64637 -1 points0 points1 point 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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Better compatibility. I don't see how this could be confusing.

Theres men who've also lost count and live vastly different lifestyles than the constantly committed relationship woman. I have a friend who just got engaged. According to men here, it should've never happened, she's slept with everybody.

I've actually only ever hung around them as a couple on weekends in clubs. He and I follow some of the same women on instagram, I'm sure we've shared past partners. I have no reason to believe that her fiance hasn't fucked around a lot.

On the other hand, dating constantly seriously committed, strict rules, worried about his past women is similar to dating men on this sub. It' can't be that confusing why some men are happier dating women they're more compatible with than women who'll beat them over the head about their past.

[–]DietTyronePurple Pill Man (Red Leaning) 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]DietTyronePurple Pill Man (Red Leaning) 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I think it is a given, it's just simply knowing your partner.

We're talking about 2 separate things here. You're talking about sexual compatibility, which is based more on enthusiasm during sex and liking similar sex acts. If I like anal but she doesn't currently, it doesn't matter if she did it for 10 guys in the past. Good luck telling a woman you're entitled to what she did for guys before you. Assuming her count contributes to your sexual compatibility means assuming your entitled to whatever sex acts she did before.

Like ok, you're a hoe, she's a hoe but she feels like this and you know it then you two obviously aren't compatible

That's my point. Her feelings could have changed, maybe she went through a hoe phase and felt she's matured out of it and ready to enter the mom jeans phase. Lots of factors here you can't assume just by hearing the count.

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why would they make an exception just because she has never had anal sex with anyone else?

Same reason you probably made an exception for your husband. People settle on certain things they deem as less important if more important deal breakers and traits are satisfied. However, certain unpredictable factors like retroactive jealousy or icks can cause people to get in their feelings more than usual.

In terms of this specific situation and retroactive jealousy, it has less to do with wanting to do anal or not, and more to do with comparing oneself to past partners and wanting to feel like the best. A lot of people want to feel special, like the exception and not the rule. Knowing that someone was vulnerable enough to do something with an ex that they refuse to do with you can make a person feel inferior sometimes. Whether or not that is the case can never be known because people can't read minds. So, they only have words and actions to go by to reach conclusions. And because people occasionally lie or omit things, sometimes those words don't account for much.

If it's about jealousy, it wouldn't be solved simply because she agrees to have anal sex with him too.

Think about it like a prenup. Doesn't count if it's under duress. If someone was asked to sign a prenup before a wedding but refused. Then the other person found out and said there wasn't going to be a wedding because they didn't sign it and so they sign it last minute, a judge would throw that out the window in court. Because the way it would be seen is that the individual was pressured to do it and only did it for fear of losing the marriage or relationship.

Same applies to being pressured into sex acts for fear of being broken up with. Decent men would not enjoy basically having to twist their partner's arm to get them to do certain sex acts. Wouldn't feel good and borderline SA almost. I know I personally don't like unenthusiastic sex. If she's not eager to do it then I don't want it. Once it reaches that point, saying "fine... I'll do it if I must" is not going to solve the problem and neither individual will enjoy such forced sex.

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I'm always amused by some people's misunderstanding of why promiscuous men are viewed more positively than promiscuous women.

Even if women and some studies show that women aren't particularly attracted to promiscuous men (which I can believe), these men still have sex, make friends, have relationships, and so on.

And all because they are judged more attractively, and because being a sexually attractive, active man is significantly harder than being a sexually attractive, active woman.

People will ALWAYS rate something accomplished with great difficulty and rarity as more attractive than something accomplished with ease.

This is a universal truth for most people, no matter how questionable, good, or even terrible these things may be, but it always matters how difficult and/or limited these things are.

And the same goes for the ability to have lots of sex. Don't you dare deny that even a below-average woman will have no problem finding sex or even a relationship (we're not talking about how satisfying it will be here), but the same man won't find ANY sex or relationship of any quality. Men ALWAYS need at least some attractive qualities, as well as putting in more effort, because it's the man who's supposed to be the active one.

[–]ThatBitchARetired Promiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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Even if women and some studies show that women aren't particularly attracted to promiscuous men (which I can believe), these men still have sex, make friends, have relationships, and so on.

And so do promiscuous women. Those studies show averages, but people differ regarding promiscuity and how they view it. It's mostly captured by "sociosexual orientation". People who have lots of partners do so with with people who have lots of partners and they also commit to each other because they do not care about that. It's a myth that anyone has problems finding commitment, for having lots of sexual partners. I was just on a sex party on the weekend and met a girl whom i have met 2 years ago. She said she had 60 more sexual partners since we last met. She has a committed boyfriend. Everyone on that party has upwards of a top 2% sex partner count, some even top 0.1% ,and nobody there has trouble getting commitment.

[–]RahLytPurple Pill Man 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]SexCrispiesRed Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

People are mentally ill while having lots or few sex partners. There are mental health issues that make people hypersexual. Some people seek out sex for ego reasons, or to compensate status anxiety, or to feel desired/worth something, to get attention if they are disregarded otherwise. Others buy luxury cars or watches for the same goal, or climb the corporate ladder, etc.

Of course, people who have that may partners and go to sex parties are of a certain kind. But as i said, i think most of that is captured by sociosexual orientation and openness for experience personality dimensions.

So a girl that has a boyfriend, still feels the need to fuck 30 men a year.

The boyfriend is new. But other than that, i, and many others in my social environment, are in open relationships and have a couple of new sex partners each year.

[–]RahLytPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]SexCrispiesRed Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

But personally I never saw a fully regulated women who works exercises and has hobbies and books 3-4 book appointments per week with different men.

That is where you do not even start to comprehend what the lifestyle is about. 30 in a year, when you go to a sexclub every weekend, is like not having sex on most weekends. Then you have sex with 2-3 people in a given night. When you are single that can make is so you just have sex on 10-15 nights per year, but when you do, it's in a sexclub or similar party, and you just have multiple partners a night or at the same time.

If you imagine 3 different men a week you automatically imagine chaos and substance abuse. Because what? Lol

Again, you are too far removed from that lifestyle to comprehend. Using substances, or abusing, how others call it, is very common in the party scene and also the kink/sexclub scene, at least in my location. For some, that goes with chaos, joblessness, mental health issues, for others, that goes with being a high ranking political figure, a head of a major hospital, etc. All of those people are in the scene. You can take those party drugs responsibly and most people do.

I believe 85% of people are irregulated or on the very least fragmented.

Not familiar with those terms.

"if that person likes me it will fianlly prove I'm actually valuable"

Or, you know, just having hedonistic fun. But of course, some people also look to find proof of being valuable. No doubt. That also exists in people who don't have lots of sex partners.

[–]RahLytPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Again, you are too far removed from that lifestyle to comprehend.

Ok

Using substances, or abusing, how others call it, is very common in the party scene and also the kink/sexclub scene, at least in my location. For some, that goes with chaos, joblessness, mental health issues, for others, that goes with being a high ranking political figure, a head of a major hospital, etc.

Then you agreed with me. As in this people have issues and their way to deal with it is by numbing and hedonism. Mind you I'm not saying this people are abnormal. That's how society goes, chronic stress > lack of bandwidth > rationalisation.

You can take those party drugs responsibly and most people do.

Lol funny guy. Sure I haven't been to swinger parties but I've been to raves. The human conditioning is still present. I went 3-4 time maximum was still enough to see self destruction. People justifying doing more drugs and harder drugs all the time and rationalize it by spiritual reasons or healing. No most people are not doing drugs responsibly it's almost an oxymoron.

I'm not anti drugs mind you. I just know what they are, they simulate regulation. Alcohol cuts through chronic stress and hypervigilance, it modulates GABA your relaxing neuro transmitter and affects dopamine receptors (especially D2 which is more related long term motivation) MDMA floods your system with serotonin and dopamine, because serotonin reduces amygdala activity, it's simulates safety in the body hence your natural dopaminergic and serotenergic, encabinoid system (very connected to interoception) opioids/oxytocin are allowed to flow through hence the waves of pleasure and empathy. Etc.

But this sensations already live naturally beneath oxidation, chronic high cortisol, fragile neurons etc. If the body doesn't feel safe or it's constantly healing itself it doesn't create space to feel good. Tyrosine instead of dopamine become adrenaline for example. The nervous system uses your resources for protection.

A lot of people think they are just less happy less curious as they age as natural not as a combination of factors that led them their. Like identity rigidity, chronic stress, processed food, etc that naturally mute your system.

Most of this things are giving your dopamine now and reducing your dopaminergic tone by 5% every day for a week. Now stack it, see how you feel in a year.

That's why I say is self destruction. Is believing it's healing while removing the factors that would actually help you heal.

Needing alcohol or coke to feel good or a partner is the same thing. People can't tell the difference about what attraction actually is and survival.

With all that being said, I want to try 2cb for sure.

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[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's incorrect. It's like measuring their height. They don't do it for women, they do it know where they stand.

And regarding what women say? Just had this convo in another thread, so had the numbers posted there. Someone posted a study, ironically, to prove that women prefer slightly above average or close to average or something. They were wrong as shown below. Women say: "heterosexual women were tasked with choosing a preferred penis size based on 3D-printed models of penises, ranging in length from 4 inches to 8.5 inches, and in circumference (aka girth) from 2.5 inches to 7 inches. The study participants preferred, on average, an erect length of 6.3 inches and girth of 4.8 inches for a long-term partner (compared to the slightly larger preference of 6.4 inches in length and 5 inches in girth for a one-time partner). " Which btw also proves the whole holiday dick thing somewhat.

Well, those sizes are top 10% length and about top 20% girth.

We all agree and no one argues that preferring 6ft tall (top 10% height) is preferring tall men. So why can't some people acknowledge that preferring 6.3 or even 6 inches (that's top 19%) is preferring big size?

Either way, why is this a top-level comment in the count thread?

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lemon_geckoWoman, proud slut, blue 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (25 children) | Copy Link

I just realised that it’s actually a miracle that high n count women exist. Because as some commenter said men like to slut shame women and then come with tempting offer to make them disgusting (meaning lets have casual). But also what i see across discussion about sex they carry their attitude from dating (won’t put any effort and complain about necessary one) to sex too. Like they don’t offer pleasure, they offer nothing. So tempting offer of making a woman disgusting and he will not even try to take care of her during that, and “shut up and be happy with my dick”.

So high n count women are those who can actually enjoy this deal. Who can actually enjoy dicks etc. And men are complaining about those simultaneously complaining about women with low libido. Like sir, can you put even more contradictions if you try?

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

I just realised that it’s actually a miracle that high n count women exist

Right?

Because as some commenter said men like to slut shame women and then come with tempting offer to make them disgusting (meaning lets have casual)

Yeah… idk what men want either. I get the vibe they go on Tinder and prefer women who would enthusiastically sleep with them within a couple days, but then they also want her to be “Low N”. Even if some of these women claim to be Low N, a good amount of them are going to be High N women with 100 options that simply lied about their N count (and I don’t think it’d matter much if she were attractive 21 year old or otherwise unattractive, the personality type & habits is most of what would affect a woman’s N count)

So tempting offer of making a woman disgusting and he will not even try to take care of her during that, and “shut up and be happy with my dick”.

There are different aspects to this.

Is this sex with someone you recently met off the internet? If so, then some guys are only comfortable with using condoms, and don’t have any dental dams on them. I personally would have frequent tests, condoms for piv, hepatitis/hpv vaccines, and be taking PrEP for the gay community anyway, so giving unprotected oral wouldn’t bother me as much, but I’m also not a golden beacon of “safe behavior”.
In a relationship, it wouldn’t really make sense, because good sex is very reliable for getting people to stick around, as opposed to hookups where you might not care if you see them again. One reason I’m personally inclined to be nice to hookups because I’d want to get a friend with benefits, but it can be easy to see why some wouldn’t have any reasons to care.
Women are hard to read. Even while being selfish, there aren’t really a lot of women who would seem to dislike me if I’m just going with randoms on Tinder (as long as it comfortably fits initially, that part is non-optional). My version of “bad sex” that would sound like what a woman on the internet would complain about is an inexperienced woman on top of me awkward in a cramped car. She’d probably still tell me afterwards that she “had a couple of small orgasms”, but it seems pretty fake? She still wanted to sleep with me again, and things were more stereotypically good the 2nd time when I did everything. I assume women in more comfortable positions who buck against me and tense up a lot aren’t faking anything during oral or otherwise, but some probably have. I doubt many women would actually tell me if they need something. My main “guaranteed” indication that I’m decent in bed would be the women who want to sleep with me more than once, but that’s not necessarily an indicator of anything, either.

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

You are making no sense. I shouldn't give reason why something shouldn't be seen a certain way, it's the other way around. Affirmative claims and prescriptions require reasoning, negative ones are default.

And no, they shouldn't be seen that way if your reason to see them that way is that if you perceived guys you're dating that way, then he wouldn't be worth fucking while for them those women are worth fucking. Like what? You are a woman and they are men, when it comes to sex you don't expect men and women to be the same. So nobody challenged you, I simply showed where you were wrong. You assumed that there's some contradiction there, but there's none. It's like saying "They say they hate apples but will still eat oranges... sounds pathetic" or "they say the hate math but will still have breakfast". Seeing this the reaction is similar - Umm okay?

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[–]PSXSnack09AntiPorn | No Pill Man - Blue pill fatigue 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 11 points12 points13 points 9 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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i disagree, i think is more about romance and connection combine with some other dynamics that seems society will never let go off, at the end of day even in societies who are making their way towards progress, theres still many traditional expectations for men in dating that nobody is interested in changing. Theres just something really heartbreaking about knowing that the girl you feel so connected to and that u re trying hard for got to be some guy's easy lay for a night, like it kinda feels cheap and like ur efforts mean nothing, is like a extremely unrewarding feeling, doesnt feels romantic, doesnt feels magic, doesnt feels special etc.

with that said theres many hypocrites who sleep around, wouldnt wait potentially years and consume porn, they dont deserve support neither.

also with age many peoples priorities change, not everybody expects the same out of a relationship, not everybody wishes for the same, many date for compatibility or companionship, so is not like it is death sentence, as long as u are okay with a 100% egalitarian relationship and forget about having a disney like love u should be fine

n count is only an obstacle when the woman refuses to compromise on traditional masculinity expectations, i know loads of guys that though not the best, they have a golden heart and are happy as long as they have someone that loves them and keeps them company, they even forgive cheating., too bad even high count women treat them bad lol

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[–]small-pp-small-smvDih Pilled Man -1 points0 points1 point 9 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Ok_Use7No Pill Man -2 points-1 points0 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Reasonable_Mouse789No Pill Man 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

At least part of it is performative. I want sex, so I purposefully clear my head and have sex. It’ll cure my headache and whatever bad mood I’m in.

Escorts would be a better crowd to ask. I have limits. While I would be fully comfortable with hygienic people less conventionally attractive than I am, slightly illegal scenarios (e.g. secluded area in a hiking trail), anything not painful/gross/illegal from a fetish list, cheating (myself or others), group sex, either gender, redwings, etc., I do have things I wouldn’t do compared to escorts (e.g. the elderly, obesity, scat).

It is not a coincidence that people most drawn to these activities will often not be entirely well adjusted. My lack of strong emotions would be considered a “good thing” for what I want to do, although people who feel more are still perfectly valid. It’s mostly an advantage for me to be accommodating to the feelings of others anyway, because attractive people can sometimes be kind of picky.

[–]YuYuHakusho23(25) (Man) (PS2) 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman -3 points-2 points-1 points 9 months ago (13 children) | Copy Link

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[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman -1 points0 points1 point 9 months ago (11 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lemon_geckoWoman, proud slut, blue 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago (25 children) | Copy Link

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yeah. i think communication is generally the thing. A sense of play is important in flirting, dating, and sex. I've done a good amount of online and blind dating and sometimes the person is beautiful and interesting, but there's just no back and forth. I think people sometimes try to force past an awkward date just to get in bed, and that rarely works out well. And THAT I would say is gendered, because I'd say an awkward, ill-met hookup is bad for everyone but worse for the woman involved.

In anycase, experience is good for everyone. Playfulness is good for everyone. And, unfortunately, that just means getting your heart broken and making a fool out of yourself a few times. So we should be destigmatizing experimentation while making sure experience isn't a dangerous thing for women. Tho...it will certainly come with some awkwardness and regret. But thems the breaks.

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[–]autistic_cool_kidChad 38yo (Man) | Buddhistpilled & Autismaxxed 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]autistic_cool_kidChad 38yo (Man) | Buddhistpilled & Autismaxxed 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]autistic_cool_kidChad 38yo (Man) | Buddhistpilled & Autismaxxed 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (14 children) | Copy Link

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[–]N_Count_CouncilRed pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (10 children) | Copy Link

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Thing is numbers by itself means nothing. I look at the full picture and see if most came from relationships, what type of men they were etc - low level street guys and boorish men are a major redflag for me. Otherwise I'm cool with it if the past guys were at least respectable.

I'd overlook it if she has the same desire for me rather than treat me as a safe option. If she's intimate with me early on rather than make me wait (it's not like you have anything to save lmao).

On paper, I'm not gonna pretend that I have this or that to offer but I've often entered relationships on the basis of natural connection. I'm at least an attentive boyfriend who surprises with gifts, organises trips, is emotionally available and I don't ask for much other than the bare physical needs. I'm lucky to have a partner who goes above and beyond for me.

[–]VelocirappthorHave a life pill 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]half_avocado33No Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cultural-Ad-8486Slavic Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When someone says that "women and men with a high N-count cheat more often," this doesn't mean the likelihood of cheating is 100%.

When someone says that "women with a high N-count compare their exes with each other and there's no way to create a better sex/relationship for them," this doesn't mean that literally all of them do this.

When someone says that "pair bonds exist and you can be an alpha widow/widower," this doesn't mean that literally everyone in the world forms a very strong bond with their partner and after a breakup can't be with anyone else.

It all just means that these things They undoubtedly exist, and even if they're not active 100% of the time, that doesn't mean they don't exist. Stop indulging in the most extreme scenarios.

I'm absolutely convinced that there are countless promiscuous women who are beautiful, super-faithful, and loving. And not all of them are "alpha widows" or "settle" with their boyfriends and husbands.

Just as I'm convinced that even an average virgin guy who's not very skilled but willing to learn can be the ideal romantic and sexual partner for some formerly promiscuous woman. Simply because they can be very compatible romantically and sexually, be in love with each other (mutually), and even physically compatible (after all, not all women are "size queens," and even a guy of average size can be physically compatible with a ton of women of the same size).

But all this doesn't erase the fact that all of this exists, and there are downsides to dating someone who's have high n-count, and not just solid positivity. And so men’s and women’s need to be careful and aware of what they might encounter.

Just because something doesn't happen 100% of the time - doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Thinking otherwise is immature maximalism.

[–]Past-Shoulder-631No Pill man -1 points0 points1 point 9 months ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I honestly think high N women are a natural part of society and we should stop shaming them or making them out to be bad. They are a minority but they are there and part of the social ecosystem.

High N women are basically high libido women who’s sociosexual attraction works like a man’s does. Basically for the vast majority of women, they think dicks are gross, they need to LOVE someone to be comfortable in having sex with them. This is an evolutionary feature to ensure loyalty and harmony and that men don’t accidentally raise someone else’s kids.

Men however want to have sex with everyone and just have sec for pleasure not for love.

Then there’s a small group of women who also enjoy sex for pleasure not for love. These have existed in every society in history, in every culture and civilisation. It’s like 10-15% of women. These women in history have formed part of the sex trade, worked as prostitutes, or become mistresses to married men.

They serve a societal function. Basically since men want sex all the time, their main partner is not always gonna be able to satisfy them 24/7 since women don’t want it 24/7. Further more there are young men who want to have meaningless sex prior to getting committed and married.

Thats where these high libido women step in. They basically exist so that men can get their enjoyment on the side without commitment and maintain stable societal order.

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That study is 20 years old. There are 3 much newer studies, one of which was based on PREPUBESCENT GIRLS. I’ve already mentioned this and this is why sex was ruled out. One of which is even under that study.

That doesn't rule out sex, that just means there could be multiple sources for microchimerism, like a brother.

Now, I know you don’t understand data. But when a study like that has a conclusion with many possibilities, it’s to open up further research into those possibilities. It DID NOT declare that sexual intercourse was a reason. It was a POSSIBLE REASON. That is why subsequent research has negated sexual intercourse as a reason. I can see why the red pill data is so easily swallowed by you guys. You literally don’t understand how research, demographics, conclusions work.

Sexual intercourse has not been ruled out as a reason. I never claimed it was the only reason, but it's a possible reason, as the study shows.

You seem desperate and frantic to prove it's not a reason, though.

Usually, when women want to pull the wool over men's eyes, there's a good reason for it lol

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Title	N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	9
Comments	969
Date	October 11, 2025 4:00 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1o3zaah/n_counts_weekly_discussion_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/n-counts-weekly-discussion-thread.1563871 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563871

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