I think one of the primary drivers behind N count preferences is insecurity and that in addition, this fact also explains a big degree of the intensity of the preference between men and women.

Most postpubescent people have learned by then on some level the simple principle that dick is abundant and pussy is scarce, and that thus women can hook up above their league to a greater degree and more often than men can. Likely, a woman is only 'in competition' with his exes, if anything perceiving his past hookups as "losers" compared to her, whereas a man is in competition with every past sexual partner, even thinking that past NSA partners are better by default.

Thus, female competition insecurity shifts towards other avenues rather than his raw number of past sexual partners. Namely:

Pornography use, through which he can wank to every type of woman.
Prostitution use, that is more costly but lets him have sex with Stacy, and that furthermore heavily signals that he doesn't care much about how much sex soothes his ego for sex quality, leaving her less avenues from which to compete.
Bisexuality, as 1. It unlocks him the capability to do hookups with people with male sexuality, enabling him to also aim above his league a fair amount 2. It makes her compete with a whole other gender to begin with, and how much can he be 'satisfied' with just women, or how much he likes women in comparison to men as a whole, is under suspicion.

These 3 things tend to live "rent free" in women's heads more than male promiscuity.

These 3 furthermore do not affect men as much:

men care relatively little about porn or smut since women already can have sex with Chad so no heavy difference there. Differences in how men and women consume these also means that often, while they decrease men's libido in relationships, they increase women's if anything, so they can be perceived as ally rather than competition.
Women don't need to pay for sex, so they don't consume prostitution and even when they do it's not a particularly different result from the one they would get without paying, so there's no insecurity here.
And finally, bisexuality doesn't threaten men as much: to the degree that bi women can aim above their league for hookups with women, it's not a greater one than with men, and men also possess the perceived advantage of having a non-plastic dick and greater body strength.

Also: differences in male and female libido in general also lead to men suffering more intense dead bedroom/attraction insecurities to begin with, again intensifying these competition insecurities.

TL;DR: It's insecurity all the way down and it at least partially explains nearly every aspect where men and women differ in these issues.

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RahLyt2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Colt_Master2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RahLyt2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Why base your thoughts on what "women argue" rather than what you think is true based on a wider array of sources?

So less data is better than more data? I based my thoughts in a lot of things. Including what women say... Lol why wouldn't I?

I already had an opinion on the behaviour it just makes it look more unhinged when you understand they don't enjoy most of it. Then you know it's about psychological wounds..

Your thoughts on low standards sluts who have sex with whoever (admittedly they aren't the focus of my post) are understandable

Ok..

but inserting "women argue" makes me doubt whether these are your legitimate thoughts or some attempt at a gotcha

You were doing so well. Then you went the identity based argument route.

So you say logically it makes sense, but apparently it's about a gotcha.. Lol

If what I said is logically sound it should stand on its own. Unless this is about identity which most definitely is.

[–]Colt_Master2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RahLyt2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you were basing your thoughts on more than just women's arguments then congrats. That is however, not what you wrote, and I responded exactly to what you wrote.

This is masturbation and you trying to justify your skepticism. I said I disagree and I've explained why. You have every right to make any assumptions you want, but the conversation was not about what I've based my thoughts on lol This is pure goal post moving.

What I claimed to be in poor standing is your belief in it, not whether the belief makes sense.

Sure, I love this. So you claim it is insecurity. Someone disputes it. You don't argue against the argument, you question the intention behind it (i do this a lot, so it's not even about that, is just that your basis for it is so weak lol it's when you know your arguments are for validation rather than truth)

So big man, tell me how can I be insecure about a girl having a train ran on her?

Or your words are just for virtue signalling?

[–]Colt_Master2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I do not argue against the argument since I have no issue with it. My post was based around to having hooked up with hotter, bigger dicked, more exciting, better in bed etc. men. 'Low standards sluts' as I described are again a blind spot and don't fit in my post. One could have insecurity about a girl who wants regular kinky group sex and can't be satisfied in monogamy, but gangbangs are a quite extreme act and it's understandable to have sexual disgust from it. I also agree that low standards promiscuity in women is indicative of mental health problems. Since I wasn't interested in arguing about that, I argue about what I'm interested in arguing.

I assume regarding my initial inquiry that yes you used "women argue" as kind of a gotcha finding contradictions on PPD arguments, but also that you legitimately believe what you post.

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I was primarily arguing against you saying earlier that men make fun of women that sleep around (with the picture of the sausages in the ladies mouth lol) and you saying men complain about women like that yet get stuck with women that don't like sucking dick. I don't think you need to sleep around with complete strangers to love sucking dick.in fact most people enjoy sex overall within a relationship (that's well documented in the social sciences) which would mean they're happy sucking away there. They learn each other's bodies and care about each other's pleasure more on average.

I don't have an issue with anyone doing anything, I'm all for my slutty queens living their best life. I just don't buy the defense of "don't you want your girlfriend to love sex" and embracing sleeping around for that reason when I don't think that maps. For an anecdote, I'm freakier than most of my guy friends that have a 50 plus body count, some of them don't even eat girls out lol which is so weird to me. Mine isn't that high. I've also enjoyed sex more with a virgin over a girl that has slept around a ton and was more experienced. I just had better sexual chemistry, her body was more to my primate sensibilities, and she was horny as fuck (it had nothing to do with her being a virgin I promise lol)

[–]attendquoi1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't think you need to sleep around with complete strangers to love sucking dick.

I agree, but if a woman is comfortable with casual sex, there's no valid reason to stop sucking dick just because she isn't in a relationship. Hence, my point about age.

Example: the first guy I ever had sex with was also my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first date, etc. I was 16, and we dated for almost a year. And I learned that I enjoyed sex. When we broke up, I decided I had no issues with casual sex and I still wanted to keep having sex even if I wasn't in a relationship. So, the body count went up pretty quickly after that point.

Conversely, I had friends in high school who had multiple relationships in that amount of time, and their body counts got higher than mine without ever having casual sex.

I'm just not understanding why men equate a high count with casual sex/fucking strangers.

[–]SurroundWide4471 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There is a correlation between having one night stands/super casual sex and higher partner counts though. People that are sociosexually unrestricted have the higher partner counts, that's just reality. If you meet a girl who's been with 20 plus dudes chances are unless she's older, some of those are one night stands or quick one time hook ups with dudes they met at parties.

Hence, my point about age

I've established the 1-10 partner count is the average and lifetime. However, I know what you mean, it's just natural and older woman that is unmarried will have more guys under her belt just because of life. I have older lady friends (late thirties) that are unmarried, they're probably in the 50's with men they've slept with or more. But they're not the average woman, and they know that, they are insecure about both their sexual history and age lol in a way that annoys me because just own it girl .

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I don't think it's odd to reject someone for their sexual history. For me, it's almost a subconscious thing when I hear something too much for me to want to handle, my "okay I'm not taking her seriously anymore" switch just turns on.

There's sociosexuality as well. If you're more inclined to date and have sex with people you trust + there's that deeper connection there, sex with someone that's sociosexually unrestricted can cause a lot of tension in the relationship. This is documented in the social sciences. In my experience, giving girls that have slept around a chance, there's always tension between sexual styles and communication.

It can also cause resentment and retroactive jealousy in most partners and that is just natural with a sociosexually restricted person dating an unrestricted person. "What makes me special, what makes me marginally even in good in bed as those other people they've been with, they're just settling for me" etc... These aren't healthy thoughts but it's a possibility when these two sexualities try to date each other.

I just wish men were

Not hypocritical about it. You can't be sociosexually unrestricted yourself and slut shame or talk shit about women that do the same
Frame it as a preference while acknowledging that it is simply an incompatibility and she can go find someone better suited to her soul.

[–]eluusive9 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]SleepyPoemsin20205 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This assumes there is a justifiable double standard so that rules that apply to women shouldn't apply to them.

But the fact of the matter is - essentially all of the criticisms they lob at promiscuous women apply to them. Promiscuous men are more likely to cheat. Promiscuous men are "used" (and indeed, you can find a number of low N women who talk this way about them, they are just not as loud as men about it).

It may be harder for some men to be promiscuous, but it's also harder for me as a woman to go around punching people hard enough to knock them unconscious. But unsurprisingly, people don't think that suddenly makes it ok for me to do.

Inb4 "mEn aRe eNtiTleD to ThEiR pRefeReNceS!" This is specifically about men who are criticising and slut shaming women.IE, their stated beliefs. Not their "preferences." So I'm not interested into going down a different rabbit hole ATM.

[–]eluusive4 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SleepyPoemsin20203 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]eluusive4 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Disagree. The supposed double standard exists for reasons that are more broad than "This person is likely to be a bad partner." Normalizing female promiscuity has lead to a rise in infidelity, stds, and rapes across the board. The harms disparately impact each gender. Women are more at risk.

The point of shaming is to minimize the number of people choosing to "follow in the footsteps" of a particular lifestyle. It's about protecting naive people from unseen negative consequences, as well as the community at large. People living a lifestyle always advertise its benefits, but are rarely honest about its harms.

There's significantly more at stake for women who decide to become a Bonnie Blue or a Lily Phillips than with a man becoming Leonardo DiCaprio or Elon Musk.

You see the same sort of shaming of the male clientele as there is for libertine women. Male gigolo's are such a minor possibility as a lifestyle for men that it's not worth mentioning.

To quote a post I saw yesterday from someone else:

I increasingly understand religious commandment-based morality. If you tell people "hey this abnormal behavior only works out well for a tiny percentage of people; and there are second-order social effects that are hard to understand but important" they'll just assume they're part of the tiny percentage of exceptions and dismiss the second-order effects as superstition. Better to just say "don't do that" with no explanation for them to pick at.

Although, this is somewhat to miss the point of Christianity, which isn't supposed to be a shame-based religion. Shame does not produce repentance, but rather locks people into a lifestyle once chosen.

[–]SleepyPoemsin20203 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Literally nothing in your comment justifies praising men for being sluts while denigrating women for being sluts. It is "promiscuous = bad, and we are going to hold women responsible for all of the actual and/or perceived downsides of promiscuity because we never require men to have accountability." Women aren't out there spreading STDs on their own. Male sluts also increase the risk of infidelity. Men are the ones raping most rape victims.

And yet you're arguing that this justifies the shitty the double standard of denigrating female sluts while praising male sluts? Seriously, wtf?

With access to proper health care and birth control, if the bullshit double standard did not persist, what exactly are the "stakes" involved that warrant slut shaming women while praising promiscuous men? Sure, women are more likely to get raped - but can't we for once not just pat men on the back and go "boys will be boys" and talk to them also about not being selfish fuckheads and controlling their urges? Can we actually shame men for being rapists instead?

So sure, blame promiscuity. But there is literally nothing in your comment to justify praising male sluts while denigrating female sluts.

[–]eluusive4 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Literally nothing in your comment justifies praising men for being sluts

Who is praising men for being sluts? Elon Musk and Leonardo DiCaprio are both ridiculed for their promiscuity and dating habits.

we are going to hold women responsible

Women have short-side power, that means they dictate the terms and conditions upon which sex happens. They are, broadly, responsible for the social norms changing.

Male sluts also increase the risk of infidelity

Not to the same degree or magnitude.

Men are the ones raping most rape victims.

Sociopaths are the ones raping most rape victims. Women with lower sexual boundaries are more likely to run into them. I'm specifically talking about encounters that start out consensual, and take a dark turn.

And yet you're arguing that this justifies the shitty the double standard of denigrating female sluts while praising male sluts

I don't think male sluts are being praised outside of Red Pill social forms. I do think people largely ignore them, because they're basically irrelevant when it comes to the changes that have happened in courtship over the last 100 years. "Don't hate the player, hate the game." Women, broadly, are the ones making the rules.

Can we actually shame men for being rapists instead?

Rapists shouldn't be shamed, they should be executed. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find an example of such a man being held up as some kind of cultural beacon, or example for other men. Since the times of Dinah, men broadly have been trying to root out and kill male rapists. They're bad for everyone.

So sure, blame promiscuity. But there is literally nothing in your comment to justify praising male sluts while denigrating female sluts.

Where is praising of male sluts happening? I see it as a mostly ignored phenomenon, or looked upon with disdain and envy by other men.

[–]SleepyPoemsin20202 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]eluusive1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SleepyPoemsin20202 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And yet another goal post shift. You're the one arguing that said double standard is justifiable, whether you want to frame it as men being "praised," that promiscuity in men is evidence of a man being "good," or evidence that he's doing things "right" is a red herring. I never set out to argue anything about the prevalence of said double standard, only whether it is justifiable.

If a promiscuous woman should be shamed because she is "used," more likely to cheat on you, and less likely to be happy in a committed relationship, then the same things are true of promiscuous men and they deserve to be shamed.

If the reason promiscuous women = bad is because they are bringing societal downfall, this means promiscuity = bad, and male and female sluts should both be shamed, because it takes two to tango, and men are disproportionately behind the violence involved.

[–]eluusive1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]eluusive1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Nobody is saying men don't have individual agency. I'm talking about group dynamics. It's still women en masse who set boundaries around sex.

You can argue that men should participate, but their participation in boundary setting would hardly move the needle.

In any exchange, the short-side rule highlights that what actually happens depends on the more limited party’s willingness or ability to proceed. Even if one side is highly motivated, enthusiastic, or fully prepared, the transaction cannot exceed what the more constrained side offers—whether that constraint is time, resources, interest, or consent. This maps cleanly onto intimate decisions as well: regardless of one partner’s desire, the actual outcome depends on the partner who is less willing or less ready. In other words, whether sex happens between a man and a woman is ultimately determined by the short side of consent—the partner whose boundaries or interest are lower sets the limit, and the interaction can only proceed if both sides meet at the same level of willing participation.

It's more in women's interests than men's to set the bar high.

[–]SleepyPoemsin20202 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]eluusive2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not at all. I'm arguing that people -- who are trying to shape culture through shaming -- trying to shame men would have next to no actual impact on women's choices. Shaming men is of no practical importance to the overall group dynamic; because women are already on the "short-side."

How about some actual numbers?

Let's say you live in a village with 50 men and 50 women. You want to stop bastard children from being born because they're a burden on society. You have 30 people couple up in marriage. So, there's 20 single women, and 20 single men left. Now let's say that women and men are equally likely to be promiscuous. Of those, there's 10 naturally promiscuous women, and 10 naturally promiscuous men. Under normal circumstances, those 20 people are all copulating with each other.

Now let's say you try to target and shame promiscuous men. It has some marginal impact on them and 8 of them stop being promiscuous. You still have 5 men left fathering children with 10 women.

If you do the reverse, and shame the women, maybe you still only convince 5 women to stop being libertines, but you've stopped 5 pregnancies.

Also, it's more difficult to target and shame men historically because there's no visible evidence of them fornicating. Women get pregnant.

And, historically, there have been a shortage of men in many times and places, so men were often literally required to take on and support multiple wives.

While this is a gross oversimplification, it's just meant to illustrate the point. If you are a person who thinks through the lens of shaming tactics, it doesn't make much sense to bother with trying to shame male sluts. It doesn't further your goals at all.

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No, I didn't miss the fucking point. Even women who have fucked "A LOT" still haven't fucked anywhere near a fraction as much as they could have, and obviously based on the whining of men "not being allowed" to be as promiscuous even those women are still not going around fucking anyone and everyone. The average woman could have a full-on gangbang with different men every hour of every single day if we wanted to. Even a woman with 15 partners hasn't fucked 99.9999% of the men she theoretically could have fucked during the course of her lifetime.

These women are still extremely picky and sexually selective, and it's because even the abundance of dick doesn't make the risks vs rewards calculus the same as men's. Someone who is actually indiscriminate would have a partner count in the hundreds or even more.

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https://www.psypost.org/disgust-sensitivity-is-linked-to-a-sexual-double-standard-study-finds/

Disgust sensitivity is linked to a sexual double standard, study finds

AutoModerator · 2025-11-22T17:00:36+00:00

Please Join Us on Discord! Include your reddit username, pill color, age and gender when you arrive in the welcome mat to introduce yourself and help people...

Across two studies (total N = 678), participants read one of four flyers introducing a 25- or 65-year-old woman (Study 1) or man (Study 2) with information on the target’s sexual or romantic lives.

Individuals who were more easily disgusted tended to judge the sexually open women more harshly, viewing them more negatively and as being riskier. This relationship was not present when they evaluated the women described in romantic terms. This suggests that for women, being openly sexual invites more negative scrutiny from people who are high in disgust sensitivity.

When evaluating the male targets, participants higher in disgust sensitivity tended to rate the sexually open men more positively. This is the opposite of the pattern observed in the first study, where higher disgust sensitivity was linked to more negative evaluations of sexually open women. Disgust sensitivity was not found to be related to how risky the men were perceived to be.

Q4A: how does this fit your priors regarding the biological evolutionary aspect behind n-count preferences?

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Only free to say it in an absolute sense. You're not free to say it where the general consensus is that what you are saying is not criticizeable, and that people who do are the actual criticizeable ones. Short men bitching about women caring about height is absolutely criticized, which makes sense as you can't criticize someone's preference in dating.

And women were complaining about body count preferences way before and way harder than short men. My point is, don't you think it's odd that a lot of women complain about body count preferences when it really doesn't impact them at all, and polite society largely agrees with them, meanwhile short guys who go through way worse shit are largely told to shut up?

And if we want to enter the "are standards okay" discussion, it's either one or the other. Either you criticize women who criticize short men for criticizing their standards (which I know you won't), or we all just accept standards as they are.

[–]attendquoi2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kroiike2 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You don't have to care, but people who have a sense of morality will typically care to respond to moral criticisms. And like I said, I don't think short men should criticize women for height standards, so why would I encourage something I don't even agree with just so you can feel like we're both equally shitty?

I feel like you're just deflecting anyways cause the reality of what I'm saying is undeniable. That is that it's considered in the mainstream, okay for women to rage about and criticize men's body count preferences despite it not even affecting them much beyond annoyance and the occasional rejection, while short men are criticized and mocked for complaining about women's height standards and their discrimination in general. I don't want men to start criticizing women's dating standards more just to be equally shitty, I want equal and morally valid criticism standards.

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If you want something else then you’re settling blah blah.

That only applies based on history.

If you always only dated/got intimate with men based on how good of a boyfriend they were, then no it's not settling to continue doing that.

But if you have banged other guys for superficial reasons then yeah it's settling if you don't also sexually desire the next guy for superficial reasons.

It's all relative. Men just want to be comparable.

They want to be lazy slobs, poor, whatnot, ugly, and think it’s a given that women will feel raw desire.

It's more that there's not really a clear path for a lot of guys to spark raw attraction, so they just do nothing.

I don't value the the type of effort that'd make me "husband material" for an ex-party girl who's already had her fun. I'll just do without at that point.

The results should be consistent with the efforts.

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I see, well, I wouldn't know personally, as I don't get offended by any of this, but I do laugh and feel a little bad for men who are with partners who clearly do not find them physically attractive but settle for other reasons (financial, loneliness, kids, or even love, as confusing as that is). This is exacerbated when a woman's past is so clearly lust-filled and passionate versus their current man, who is just okay.

So me personally, I do not necessarily pity the man whose woman makes him wait, even if she didn't let her past men wait, as she can have valid reasons for that. I pity the guy who is being physically settled for, of which making him wait, and the difference in treatment between him and past partners can potentially be, and often are major signs of settling. I think that's how most men on here feel generally. And I think women who settle physically for their partners who aren't honest about telling them so, are doing them a major disservice.

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For normal people dating through friends: do whatever makes you comfortable, it’ll probably work fine

For online dating: I’d recommend “high N” rules for online dating, because it translates to “be selfish, look out for yourself, and don’t trust strangers on the internet”

Assume the person you’re talking to has a friend with benefits, and might not consider sex to be the same as commitment
Assume if I’m talking to two relatively equal people, and one sleeps with me, whereas the other doesn’t, then I’ll probably drop the one who didn’t sleep with me
Assume people will be vague if you ask them what they’re looking for. Because they often are. People also often lie
Assume someone can still dump you for any reason they want after sex, even if they’re looking for a relationship. Neither gender is exempt
Some people who don’t want to have sex with me just give me a handjob or oral. I don’t have enough of a reason to argue in those cases

I personally tend to at least make out with people on day 1, including if I meet them outside of online dating. I’m not incredibly normal in this regard, I’m just forward/horny enough to look into someone’s eyes and see that they’re probably attracted to me, and surprisingly attentive towards me/conversational

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what counts as making someone wait for sex?

To me, if we don't have sex the second time we meet, that's saying something. It's understandable if the first date is just a "we're just getting to know each other" deal, but on the second date she alreadys know if she wants to. No sex on the second date means she either doesn't want to, or does want to but is choosing against it for whatever reason, which is the same end result. In either case, I'll then go out with someone else.

You're allowed to want to wait as long as you want. But you also need to keep in mind that, nowadays, people aren't seeing just you. If you like someone and you aren't quick about it, it's very possible they'll just go with someone else.

like she wants to have sex with you but says no because of some internal code?

That doesn't matter. That's indistinguishable to me from her just not wanting to, and I'll just prioritize someone else. I might continue going out with her if I don't already have someone else lined up, but I'll be looking for another person who is interested in sex more quickly the whole time.

does it count if you could have done something different that day, and had sex, but just didn’t?

Yes, of course it counts. She had the opportunity to have sex and chose not to.

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[–]Plenty_Independence8Red Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago (26 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Plenty_Independence8Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago* (12 children) | Copy Link

While I also agree with your general message, I will have to correct you on one thing: this incels are not red pilled men. They are just whinny losers who don't have the courage to go after what they want and become the type of men that can actually achieve that. They are too lazy to enact change and, while they know the terms of the core concepts of red pill, they have 0 cluse what they actually mean. Everything is about looks and whinnig. They are black pilled to the core.

Even in your example, it's all about looks and physical characteristics they have no control over (completely removing the ones that ARE, like style, hairstyle, muscles, etc etc).... they just love to make themselves powerless. This is blackpill. You are really talking about black pilled men. They just invaded the red pill spaces.

[–]Motor-Buy-6991Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (11 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lemon_geckoWoman, fucking men while waiting for cat distribution system 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Plenty_Independence8Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Motor-Buy-6991Man 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Plenty_Independence8Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Plenty_Independence83 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lemon_geckoWoman, fucking men while waiting for cat distribution system 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Motor-Buy-6991Man 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lemon_geckoWoman, fucking men while waiting for cat distribution system 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Plenty_Independence8Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Expert_Profession951 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (31 children) | Copy Link

I guess I’m an outlier on this bc my view doesn’t seem to be represented in the comments. So I’ll express:

“Waiting” , making me wait, etc. has never been a concern for me. I would definitely prefer a modest woman who makes me - and everyone - wait then marries me (as she’s a virgin, made all wait) over one who fucks me fast but fucks with everyone. The first one I could marry; the second one I wouldn’t even date.

I like modesty. I like the ability to teach my wife everything, be the one she runs to and jumps on when she wants it, be the one she teaches and exposes all of herself to, etc. I love that, and that’s what I wanted in a wife. I made sure I got that when I married a gorgeous secure confident woman who was a virgin when she met me anyway.

Also, with modesty comes security. Promiscuity tends to damage a person’s ability to make connections and keep something long-term alive. This is all shown in research, and I know y’all have seen it bc people post it in this sub a lot.

So yeah, my view has nothing to do with how long it is before she fucks me or another guy. Idc if she was with a guy for a minute or for 6 years before they fucked; I wouldn’t marry that one. I would fuck her casually but wouldn’t date her. I never had problems picking up a good fuck session quickly anyway. My wife was wise enough to wait and fuck the man she married, so that’s why we are the way we are and both of us are happy with it. Future daughter will have the best mom to look up to.

[–]kalashhhhhhhhChad's WOMAN 6 points7 points8 points 8 months ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Expert_Profession951 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]kalashhhhhhhhChad's WOMAN 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-Insight1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Expert_Profession951 -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

You didn’t read the part about the 1 minute or 6 years, or either you didn’t understand it. Let me break it down.

Me not wanting to marry a woman with a count at all does not mean she is promiscuous. It says a lot about my preference; it doesn’t say that she is necessarily promiscuous. However, it does emphasize that I would not be with a promiscuous woman. Technically, whatever her N count, whether she is promiscuous or not would depend on whether she was indiscriminate. For example, in the 6 years example that’s not indiscriminate, so by definition she isn’t promiscuous if that was her only partner. See #2 for Webster dictionary definition.
Having the ability and opportunity to do something doesn’t mean you always do it. I was a pretty popular well-liked guy my entire youth. The definition of promiscuity includes “indiscriminateness.” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/promiscuity ) I had some flings but wasn’t indiscriminate in it; I made sure I knew certain things about the women prior to doing anything with them - things most people don’t bother to know when they just have a fling.

To answer your inquiry about my count, Idk. But again, I wasn’t indiscriminate. I didn’t fuck random women I met in bars, for example. The women I fucked were popular as well, well-liked like I was, and well-known to the other students (in high school and college) or community. I can’t give an exact count, but I can say I wasn’t indiscriminate, by definition making it not promiscuous.

Now, I could see where your question now might be centered around, “Well, if she had one partner and she isn’t promiscuous then what’s your reason for avoiding anything long-term or meaningful with her?” And my answer is: preference, and because I can be selective. I would potentially reevaluate my reasoning if either 1) I had been unable to find someone who desired me so much and is a virgin. Or 2) I found some reason to reverse the situation, I.e. something better about women who have experience vs. no experience.

Hope this answers your inquiries to a better extent.

[–]kalashhhhhhhhChad's WOMAN 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]kalashhhhhhhhChad's WOMAN 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Expert_Profession951 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]kalashhhhhhhhChad's WOMAN 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Everything is subjective

I never contradicted this claim. You brought up the subjectivity of the first listed definition.

Are you familiar with the Munchausen Trilemma?

I am.

I already went over the reason I wouldn’t marry a woman like you mentioned. If you didn’t read it, that’s on you.

What makes you think I didn't understand your response? I quoted it back to you the way that you wrote it.

I also specify why promiscuous is a lot worse than someone who’s discriminate but a non-virgin.

Why does that concern you since you wouldn't date either of them? The end result is the same.

Also, you have a pretty uncommon subjective standard of promiscuity. Most people would consider someone who doesn't know the exact number of people they slept with promiscuous, regardless of who makes up that number.

[–]Expert_Profession9511 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterBlue-red 🐎👞 law (Man) 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago (17 children) | Copy Link

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The mere fact that you are open to casual sex makes you t least somewhat indiscriminate by at least by some definitions of the word. It's certainly more discriminate than someone who discriminates against sex with people they are not in a relationship with.
Sociosexuality, as researched, is a spectrum, not a binary measurement.. And this makes sense, there's an array of people with different levels of promiscuity, not just 2 classes of people, and all of them different degrees of likely to feature traits associated with promiscuity.

At least I accept that your view that promiscuity damages pair bonding, but you do not consider yourself promiscuous so there's nothing to fear at least is internally consistent - but both your definition of promiscuity and your consideration that is binary are obviously arbitrary.

[–]Expert_Profession9511 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchARetired Promiscuous Woman 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago (14 children) | Copy Link

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You need self reflection according to your own words lol. So I'm here on my beautiful Friday hating a woman Ill never know because you assume all of us are motivated by our traumas? And somewhat I must hate the other gender they way you do? Typical projection Lol

Lol people need more therapy overall.

Listen in life people will say truths that will hurt your feelings and that sensation is uncomfortable I get it. But 1. what you feel is yours and yours alone 2. You can feel something and it still not be grounded in reality.

Lol if I question the behaviour of a random woman that has literally nothing to with you doesn't mean I personally hate you. The same way if I say you can also choose drugs (arguing that choosing doesn't prevent harmful behaviour) doesn't mean I think you are a drug user and I wouldn't give 2 shits if you were one.

All of that to say what:

LOL!

(Lurkers. This is what I mean when I say modern women believe their emotions are reality, they usually reinterpret events by how they feel. They can't have the discernment of separating how they felt about an event from the actual event. So in her head she actually believes it. Obviously there's also a combination of knowing she's logically beat so she "morally" deflect. Modern women usually almost always moralise when cornered, surprisingly effective because most men take the bait)

Edit: I almost forgot, let's try again. You know... the original point of the debate.. before you got in your feeling (joke every ppdw on this thread it's on their feelings and tbh it makes sense, only women are evaluated in society for sexual partners)

Let's try again. How can one participate constantly in something that they claim that harms them and is also not pleasureble and think that person is mentally doing well?

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I mean if she sleeps with one guy after a week and another guy in one hour, she's into both of them. It's the degree of intoness that matters. Having sex quickly is a proxy for that since no better measure exists.

If she has sex with someone in an hour then you can probably assume that they just wanted to hook-up. This isn't an indication that they are in love with them at all.

Hell it isn't even an indication that they find them necessarily that hot. Because depending on the person and how they feel it can be wildly different. Just like guys women also sometimes go out just to get laid. This can very much be the reason why.

And just because someone waited for a while to have sex with you doesn't mean that they have feelings for you. Shit can be wildly different depending on so many factors.

If you are gonna base stuff on just sex then you aren't gonna get very far. People are complex and this subject isn't different in any way shape or form.

Focus on how they are acting, you can tell way more from that than you ever will than using a stopwatch.

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You are allowed to feel that, but keep in mind that how drunk/high she is plays a big part. What moves he put on her. If she just wants to have sex that night (because sometimes you are way hornier than other times). In what phase of her hormonal cycle she is. If she wants to make sure you don't view her negatively. She might be too nervous. She might be too tired. Maybe something happened recently which is on her mind like someone who died. She was maybe in another position which made her vulnerable. Hell maybe the bloke even did some illegal stuff which we better not go into. And so much more.

You should really come to terms with the fact that it really can be because so many things. And what you should focus on is if she still wants to see you then she definitely isn't bored of you yet.

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For real. I had a casual relationship, where i fucked a guy on a third date. And i was really into him. Really. That one was special. Simply one of the best dates and sex i've ever had. And i had a conversation with a man who couldn't for the life of him understand why did i had to wait. It's like those broken programs with only one working button out of 10, i push for the answer "because i wanted to anticipate it, i enjoyed teasing" and the only answer i get "why not have sex as fast as possible". Shows what they really think and feel.

That reminds me of another guy, i do like teasing and like feeling out if there is a chemistry before sex, and i met him (i did make that clear) only for him to admit to me that he doesn't care about it at all, doesn't enjoy anything of that, and only wants to have sex. And i'm like....couldn't you have told me that before so i wouldn't waste my time? It was obvious how he tried to rush things. And that's just ew.

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[–]N_Count_Council1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Flying_Fortress_8743Jagged Little Pill - Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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I did. I used to care about bodycount as a child. But then I realised my fear was the fear of comparison and of not being good enough compared to other guys (in bed). And the fear that she found the other guys more exciting, hotter, etc.

So I decided that if I ever am at the point where I could get into a relationship with a woman, I will very honestly tell her about my insecurity. And ask her if I am truly the best, or if I can become the best. And if she finds me as exciting and as hot as the other guys in the past. Difficult conversation to have, but I'll have it. If she says no, or if she doesn't want to talk about this, I will respect her wishes. But then I can't be with her, so I will walk away.

Basically I will ask for the reassurance I crave and either get it or walk away. Once I promised this to myself, my concern around bodycounts just melted away. I truly don't give a fuck about bodycounts anymore.

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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A dude who mocked and joked about red pillers the way you do. Called them childish Neanderthals. Went on the podcasts to debate them.

He also bragged about having a young attractive wife despite being a morally upstanding average looking nice guy, using it as proof that the red pill was BS.

But after his wife's past got exposed she reclaimed her sexual identity by chatting about prior escapades, such as banging multiple guys from the same frat, meeting guys off of dating apps for butt stuff, guys' O faces and sizes, not thinking of her husband when she touches herself, having been seeing another guy back when she met her husband, missing her college days, etc.

Which is cool, she had a sexual life and she's happy with it... But she literally told beta boy that she was a virgin lol. And he genuinely was one well into his 30s. That's a whole lot of nothing he was doing waiting for a devout woman while his eventual wife was off having fun.

It's a massive bait and switch rug pull and now all the manosphere grifter types are grilling him into the dirt for it. Just like Destiny before him another champion of women has fallen. 😞

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Studies have consistently shown that a higher number and/or permissive sexual attitudes is related to infidelity and relationship dissatisfaction/instability.

.

Study: Re-Examining the Link Between Premarital Sex and Divorce (Journal of Family Issues, 2024)

The key results here are mostly consistent across models: those with the highest number of premarital sexual partners as of Wave III (nine or more) have about triple the odds of divorce compared to those with none (ORs = 2.65—3.20). Notably, this effect becomes stronger as controls are added to the model, indicating such hypothesized selection factors as sociodemographic or religious characteristics actually suppress, rather than help explain, the effect of premarital sex for those with the highest number of partners. Those with one to eight partners are also at greater risk of divorce, though this coefficient is weaker than for those with nine or more partners. Specifically, in the full model the odds of divorce for those with one to eight partners are 64% higher than those with no premarital partners (10/23)

As expected, we find evidence of a nonlinear relationship between the number of sexual partners and the risk of divorce. Those in the highest category of partners (9+) consistently show the highest divorce risk by a substantial margin, followed by those with one to eight partners, with the lowest risk for those with none. In other words, we find distinct tiers of divorce risk between those with no, some, or many premarital, nonspousal sexual partners… although partner counts of eight or less have become increasingly normative, having more partners may indicate distinctive characteristics which are not conducive to marital stability. (16/23)

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0192513X231155673?download=true

.

Review: Predictors of infidelity among couples (Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2024)

Individuals who have a more unrestricted sociosexual orientation (ie, greater motivation and willingness to engage in casual, uncommitted sex) are more likely to engage in infidelity (2/4)

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/379535030_Predictors_of_infidelity_among_couples

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Review: Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences (International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 2023)

Personal characteristics such as neuroticism, prior history of infidelity, number of sex partners before marriage, psychological distress and an insecure attachment orientation, as well as permissive attitudes toward sex, have been positively associated with infidelity (10/19)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10002055/pdf/ijerph-20-03904.pdf

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Review: Mate Preferences and Their Behavioral Manifestations (Annual Review of Psychology, 2019)

Men apparently assess and evaluate levels of sexual activity by a woman prior to long-term commitment—behavior that would have been observable or known through social reputation in the small-group lifestyles of our ancestors. Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior, and having a large number of sex partners prior to marriage is a statistical predictor of infidelity after marriage (16/34)

https://www.annualreviews.org/docserver/fulltext/psych/70/1/annurev-psych-010418-103408.pdf

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Review: Infidelity in romantic relationships (Current Opinion in Psychology, 2017)

Table 1: Factors found to facilitate infidelity.

Number of sex partners: Greater number of sex partners before marriage predicts infidelity

Attitudes: Permissive attitude toward sex; Decoupling of sex and love, closeness; Willingness to have casual sex

Numerous individual characteristics have been associated with infidelity, including personality variables such as neuroticism, prior history of infidelity, number of sex partners before marriage… As might be expected, attitudes toward infidelity specifically, permissive attitudes toward sex more generally and a greater willingness to have casual sex and to engage in sex without closeness, commitment or love (i.e., a more unrestricted sociosexual orientation) are also reliably related to infidelity (2/5)

https://fincham.info/papers/2016-infidelity-cop.pdf

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Study: The Relationship between Sexual and Emotional Promiscuity and Infidelity (Athens Journal of Social Sciences, 2017)

Sexual promiscuity was significantly positively correlated with emotional promiscuity [r(356) = .261, p < .001], as well with sexual infidelity [r(323) = .595, p < .001] and emotional infidelity [r(323) = .676, p < .001], indicating that sexually promiscuous participants also tend to be emotionally promiscuous, and sexually and emotionally unfaithful. (6/14)

In terms of the sexual domain, results showed that there is also a positive correlation between sexual promiscuity and sexual infidelity, stating that individuals that tend to be more sexually promiscuous also tend to be more sexually unfaithful. (9/14)

Additionally, results demonstrated that sexual and emotional promiscuous individuals, also tend to be sexual and emotional unfaithful, being all these domains related to each other. (11/14)

https://www.athensjournals.gr/social/2017-4-4-3-Pinto.pdf

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Book: Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy (Oxford University Press)

When compared with their peers who report fewer partners, those who self- report 20 or more in their lifetime are:

Twice as likely to have ever been divorced (50 percent vs. 27 percent)

Three times as likely to have cheated while married (32 percent vs. 10 percent)

Substantially less happy with life (p < 0.05) (pg.89)

https://archive.ph/x1xb5

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Book: The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (Basic Books, 2016)

Indeed, the single best predictor of extramarital sex is premarital sexual permissiveness—people who have many sex partners before marriage tend to be more unfaithful than those who have few sex partners before marriage (pg.108).

https://archive.ph/k554y

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Report: Before “I Do”: What Do Premarital Experiences Have to Do with Marital Quality Among Today’s Young Adults? (The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia)

Further, for women, having had fewer sexual partners before marriage was also related to higher marital quality. This doesn’t mean that sex before marriage will doom a marriage, but sex with many different partners may be risky if you’re looking for a high-quality marriage. (5/26)

https://nationalmarriageproject.org/sites/g/files/jsddwu1276/files/2025-06/SOCI221_NMP_BeforeIDoReport.pdf

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Study: Sowing wild oats: Valuable experience or a field full of weeds? (Personal Relationships, 2013)

The research objective was to test whether the number of sexual partners was associated with sexual quality, communication, relationship satisfaction, and relationship stability, while controlling for relationship length, education, race, income, age, and religiosity, using the two competing theories of sexual compatibility and sexual restraint. The results, with a sample of 2,654 married individuals, indicated that the number of sexual partners was associated with lower levels of sexual quality, communication, and relationship stability

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/pere.12009

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Study: Beyond Global Sociosexual Orientations: A More Differentiated Look at Sociosexuality and Its Effects on Courtship and Romantic Relationships (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2008)

Sociosexual Behavior

The behavior component, reflecting the quantity of past short-term sexual encounters, shows strong and unique links to the diversity of past romantic and sexual relationships, as well as the occurrence of sexual infidelity… Our results also confirmed the prediction that men and women who had more experience with short-term relationships in the past (i.e., those with high Behavior facet scores) were more likely to have multiple sexual partners and unstable relationships in the future. The behaviorally expressed level of sociosexuality thus seems to be a fairly stable personal characteristic. (19/23)

https://www.larspenke.eu/pdfs/Penke_Asendorpf_2008_-_SOI-R.pdf

.

Study: Predictors of young dating adults’ inclination to engage in extradyadic sexual activities (British Journal of Psychology, 2005)

Participants who had experienced sexual intimacy with a greater number of partners also reported greater extradyadic sex and extradyadic kissing inclination. (14/20)

https://dacemirror.sci-hub.box/journal-article/56b3e1e2b488fe6010438283d6356663/mcalister2005.pdf

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Study: Sex differences in morphological predictors of sexual behavior (Evolution and Human Behavior, 2003)

The high correlations for males (r = .85) and females (r = .79) between reported numbers of sex partners and EPC partners may bear on questions of both paternity and abandonment in the face of infidelity… But the question remains: does promiscuity predict infidelity?… The resultant number (reported non-EPC sex partners) was still highly correlated with number of EPC partners (females: r = .67, n = 56, P < .01; males: r = .50, n = 59, P < .01), suggesting that promiscuity is in fact a good predictor of infidelity. Indeed, promiscuity among females accounted for almost twice as much variance in infidelity (r² = .45) as it did for males (r² = .25). (5/6)

https://www.psy.uq.edu.au/%7Euqbziets/Hughes2003%20-%20Shoulder%20to%20hip%20ratio.pdf

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[–]vanebader-2048Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago* (11 children) | Copy Link

Let me put it this way. I'm very far from being a "chad", I'm an average-looking, very thin/skinny, and slightly below average height for men where I live (which, to be fair, is nowhere near as much a problem as it is in the US, as women here aren't obsessed with height like american women are). I have faced a LOT of rejection over the years. And even within that context, I still have always managed to find women who would sleep with me quickly. Every single woman I ever dated slept with me long before she knew we'd get in a relationship.

My first relationship, early in uni, was with a girl whose first time was with me. She asked to wait, because she was a virgin and wasn't ready, which is totally understandable and so I did. We had sex about a month after that, and then only became official about 2 months after having sex. After that relationship, every single other relationship I had, no exceptions, were with someone who slept with me within the first 2 dates. And right now I'm dating (exclusively, with the intention of a relationship) a woman who went home with me the day we met in person, after matching on tinder and talking for a couple weeks. I got into relationships with these women specifically because they slept with me right away, meaning I could always be confident that they genuinely liked me. I wouldn't consider a relatioship with someone who doesn't sleep with me within the first couple dates.

So here's my question to you: I, an average-looking guy, have little trouble finding women who like me enough to sleep with me immediately. Why should I settle for anything less? And why would I ever consider a relationship with someone who doesn't have sex with me right away, when it's easy to find someone who does?

[–]Lemon_geckoWoman, fucking men while waiting for cat distribution system 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]vanebader-2048Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Is there nothing else you value?

Of course I value other things too, like kindness, a pleasant personality, compatible life goals, and so on. But this conversation was about sex.

I would date a man who doesn't fuck me at all under certain circumstances.

Well, personally, a relationship without physical intimacy (of which sex is a huge part of) makes no sense to me. I appreaciate all the other aspects of a relationship, like the companionship, emotional support, quality time together and so on. The thing is, I already get all of those things in my life from friends and family. The only thing missing from my life if I'm single is the physical intimacy. So if the person I'm dating can't/won't provide that, then there's no point in dating them. But if she does provide that, then all the other things matter too.

[–]Lemon_geckoWoman, fucking men while waiting for cat distribution system 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]vanebader-2048Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

and my answer is because that someone else would have more of what you value

But it's just as easy to find those other things I value in other people who also do want to sleep with me. If my choices are "someone kind, pleasant and compatible who wants to make me wait for sex" vs "someone kind, pleasant and compatible who wants to have sex with me right away", it's obvious I'm gonna go with the second one.

i'm poly, so i have an advantage here, i'll find sex elsewhere if that would be the case

That's great for you. I, like the vast majority of people, am not poly, so for me no sex in a relationship is a problem.

so basically yes, that's the only reason for relationship for you, that's why sex is the metric. Okay.

It's not the only reason, I also appreciate the other aspects of the relationship. It's just that sex is a disqualifying one.

Also, it goes without saying, but it's not the only disqualifying one. I wouldn't accept a relationship with someone who isn't kind, or is abusive, or is conservative, for example. Someone who withholds sex (especially when they have not withheld sex for other men) is just one of those disqualifying traits.

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[–]Logos1789Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago* (79 children) | Copy Link

Actually, I do. You get to disagree.

It doesn’t make any sense to know that you want a long term relationship with a man, meaning, that you will be monogamous with him…and somehow want to wait longer to have sex with him, than some other man…

The only explanations are condemnable:

She wants to have a casual spree before sex and commitment with the long term guy (she’s not actually ready for a monogamous relationship)

She wants greater leverage than him in the relationship (she’s settling for him, sexually)

She wants greater security in the relationship than the men she prefers would offer (she’s settling for him, sexually)

She wants to portray her values related to sex differently than they actually are (I can’t jump right into sex, it’s special to me, etc. when that’s not true)

[–]SleepyPoemsin2020 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

This is very black and white thinking, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised given the sub I am on.

Peoples feelings and boundaries shift, sometimes upon reflection of past experiences.

She could have...

Felt pressured to have sex in the past but became more firm with her boundaries as she got older and more sure of herself.

Had a bad experience feeling used when she had sex quickly in the past so now feels much more comfortable waiting longer.

Tried hooking up and found she actually really disliked it.

Hooked up with men she doesn't care about but is more emotionally drawn to the man she wants to date so doesn't want to jump too quickly into sex to be sure if his intentions (and possibly due to concern of getting too attached to early because she likes this guy more than her hookups). Etc etc

Even for women who just as a rule screen men differently for hookup vs relationship, men certainly have different criteria for hookups vs relationships, so why do ya'll get so bent out of shape about some women also having different criteria?

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[–]Downtown_Werewolf_44Disenchanted chad (man) 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Downtown_Werewolf_44Disenchanted chad (man) 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (53 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (52 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (16 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Downtown_Werewolf_44Disenchanted chad (man) 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (25 children) | Copy Link

[–]Downtown_Werewolf_44Disenchanted chad (man) 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (24 children) | Copy Link

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No

That's it, you know why men care about the past, because they evaluate past actions to evaluate probability for those situation to happen again. The same way you did to evaluate if dating a dude with an history of violence was a good idea or not.

The "but I wouldn't know" part is irrelevant, the only thing that matters is that you wouldn't if you knew. Just like most dude end the relationship the moment they know that she has a promiscious past.

And why do men cares so much about N-count?

-Studies shows a correlation between infidelity and the number of partners for a woman, so it's statisticaly logical to screen women on that.

-A high N count can be associated with a low will. For LTR, a partner showing signs of a strong will is a positive trait. Men or women, you would want to pair with someone able to resist temptations and that can stay focus when they have an objective. I would say that this is one of the major trait caracterising an adult: An adult is someone who can do whatever he wants but knows how to restrain him(her)self. Doing whatever you want without being able to restrain can be a sign of someone who hasn't "grow up". A good counterpart for women are guys playing to much video games. Most women are ok with her partner playing video game from time to time, spending all night long playing is the sign of someone unable to restrain himself, that's a childlish trait.

-Someone with a long list of past relationship can be the sign that he/she can't make the necessary adjustment for a relationship to work. Having a few past relationship that didn't work out is in the range of normal, having 20 past relationship that doesn't work out should raise some question: Either this person is really bas as choosing partners (and the next one will probably follow the same patern) or she gives up the relationship the moment something middly annoying happens. For a LTR you would want someone who know what they want and are able to manage the high, the lows and the concessions inherent to LTR.

-The more ex in your partners past, the more the chance of having those people in your life. You don't want an ex coming back, you don't want to be in those awkward "How do I know him/her? well, we hooked up some years ago". There is nothing wrong with wanting to avoid those unconfortable situations.

-Making new experiences together is a very important part of bonding. A person with an important past is more prone to have made a lot of those experiences by him(herself) reducing the probabilities of living those kind of bonding moments. example: If you are planning a romantic getawayn you want it to be something mesmerizing for both, not something he/she had allready done with her ex.

That's the kind of things that most guys have in mind when they are vetting high N-count women for LTR. I would had that, more than N-count, context does matter. I would date a woman with 10 past serious boyfriend. A woman with a N-count of 6 but who cheated on one of her boyfriend to do a threesome with 2 dudes is an automatic no.

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[–]Logos1789Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]PopeoathRed Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago* (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]unloveablemanletMan 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]unloveablemanletMan 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]MuscletovMaroon pill man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Flying_Fortress_8743Jagged Little Pill - Man 6 points7 points8 points 8 months ago (11 children) | Copy Link

For me, dating is a hookup that keeps going. I don't like women who categorize them differently. First and foremost I want a woman who's attracted to me. That's a baseline requirement. Not that she finds me nice or funny or smart or that she feels comfortable around me or respects my accomplishments. All of that is stuff I can get from friends.

Sexual desire has to be there first and foremost in order for the relationship to become anything at all. If we then also vibe on a personal level, it can become something deeper.

For a woman to think "I really like x, y, and z about him, and also yeah I guess I'd be okay fucking him" doesn't do it for me. I'd rather be in the "I can't STAND this guy but I really want to fuck him" category. Sure, there's no chance of a relationship in the second category but that's okay, I can keep looking for that in the meantime.

A girl who is deeply sexually attracted to me and likes me for my other qualities is relationship material.

A girl who is deeply sexually attracted to me but doesn't care for my other qualities is fwb material.

A girl who isn't deeply sexually attracted to me but likes my other qualities is friend (without benefits) material.

A girl who is neither attracted to me nor likes my other qualities is nothing to me.

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Flying_Fortress_8743Jagged Little Pill - Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Flying_Fortress_8743Jagged Little Pill - Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Flying_Fortress_8743Jagged Little Pill - Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Flying_Fortress_8743Jagged Little Pill - Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]stockingsinrainbootspills are brainrot - woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Scary-Mouse4817Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]grillopieThats like, your opinion Man 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]ta06012022Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it's more about circumstances. A lot of my hookups were with girls I met in person and hooked up with that night. In college that was usually at a party where we had both been drinking. One thing led to another and we ended up hooking up. There's generally no expectation of ongoing contact in that type of scenario (though sometimes they evolve into fwb or relationships).

With actual dating, you plan things in advance, are typically sober (at least at the start of the date), and there's an expectation of ongoing contact if the date goes well. In those cases, maybe we don't sleep together until the second or third date sometimes.

I get that the line is blurry, but for me hookups have generally been spontaneous things where two people are drunk, horny, and caught up in the moment. It's just a different thing than dating.

[–]grillopieThats like, your opinion Man 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ta06012022Man 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb -4 points-3 points-2 points 8 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]PopeoathRed Pill Man 6 points7 points8 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb -2 points-1 points0 points 8 months ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PopeoathRed Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cuddly--suarAlpha male 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (33 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (32 children) | Copy Link

[–]cuddly--suarAlpha male 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago* (31 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cuddly--suarAlpha male 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]cuddly--suarAlpha male 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]cuddly--suarAlpha male 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Flying_Fortress_8743Jagged Little Pill - Man 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (19 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Flying_Fortress_87432 points 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Nothing else really makes me feel good about myself. In fact, I think deriving satisfaction from congratulating yourself about how awesome you are is a little...sad? Gauche? I know I'm awesome, I know I've done great things, that just doesn't really matter to me. It doesn't make me feel good. Female attention makes me feel good.

I guess, for context, I should say that I'm not actively seeking female attention. I chose a few years ago to devote myself to working and making money, and my career field is almost entirely male. I make money primarily to support my family, in particular my mother who has poor health. But I do that because it's the right thing to do, not because it's what I want or what makes me feel good. Point being, I'm not some pathetic puppy chasing after women; I recognize there are objectively more important things in life. I just don't like or derive satisfaction from those other things.

[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 8 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Fancy-Scallion-6682Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Scary-Mouse4817Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD

Comments

Disgust sensitivity is linked to a sexual double standard, study finds

Title	N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	3
Comments	1315
Date	November 22, 2025 5:00 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1p3y8l5/n_counts_weekly_discussion_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/n-counts-weekly-discussion-thread.1567132 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567132