Q4W: What is a creep?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-10-22T13:46:05+00:00

Dudes who don't respect my boundaries or who don't observe some socially accepted behhavioral norms (staring at people, not respecting their personal space.when there's more than enough space for everyone, touching people when there's no reason to do so).

Can't say I encounter too many creeps but one guy was following me and my friend over the weekend, that wasn't super pleasant. Dude clearly had issues but it didn't make the whole thing any less creepy.

IcyTrapezium · 2024-10-22T11:04:04+00:00

In my personal usage of the word, it’s a person who lingers in awkward, uncomfortable moments if the makes senses. Creepy people tend to draw out weird interactions that are just off.

I don’t use the word to describe people that often. I do know that some especially younger women use it to mean a guy they find unattractive or weird interacted with them in some way.

Gillionaire25 · 2024-10-22T15:27:22+00:00

The guy who walks to the urinal next to yours even though there is plenty of space, then looks at your cock and looks you in the eye.

Sillysheila · 2024-10-22T11:21:29+00:00

Someone who doesn’t respect people’s boundaries.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-10-22T12:19:17+00:00

Someone awkward who can’t understand social cues and boundaries.

toasterchild · 2024-10-22T14:15:24+00:00

Most of the time i feel a man is being creepy it's because he makes me feel like prey. Like he's been non stop watching me all night, staring way longer than makes most people comfortable, or blatantly ignoring polite rejection (or even impolite) If interacting with you makes me feel like you want to eat me it's creepy.

Mentathiel · 2024-10-22T13:14:42+00:00

I call someone a creep when they make me feel unsafe, but in a somewhat covert way. If someone threatens violence, for example, they're not a creep, they're a thug / predator. Creeps have more plausible deniability than that.

There are two kinds of people who're creepy.

One knows they're being creepy and are intentionally using social norms and pressure manipulatively to push your boundaries. These guys are not socially awkward, they may pretend to be, but they're very socially sophisticated in actuality. They often have a sort of superficial charm that many women may even find attractive until they learn better.

And then there are people who're unintentionally creepy. These people might have autism or another neurodivergence or something. They don't act in socially appropriate ways. They may not intend to harm you, but the fact that they're not following the social norms everyone else is can make us feel unsafe. Because I operate in a bubble, I'm in a closed system of norms and rules and regulations enforced by society that protect me from a whole sleuth of bad things, from verbal confrontation to outright violence (I could not defend myself if I wasn't relying on society and my community). Following social cues, even innocuous and arbitrary and bullshit ones, gives me a feeling of safety because it lets me know that we come from a similar enough culture with similar values that you're able to performatively signal through small behaviors etc. If you're not able to do that, you have shaken my entire foundation and I have to question all of those normative assumptions. Do you share my values in general? Do you even know of these social norms and rules that protect me? Do you care?

Now, this is a big and complex issue because the way I feel, while it's pretty widespread, is also very harmful to neurodivergent folks and immigrants alike. It's not necessarily fair that my brain goes there. It's not fair that people need to put crazy levels of exhausting effort to mask day in and day out just to get basic human response from the other side. It's actually pretty cruel. But I can't really help finding it creepy.

On top of that, after spending a long time struggling and not getting rewarded for all the effort, these genuinely socially awkward guys sometimes decide to just push the boundaries on purpose even when they understand them because they're so sick and tired of trying so hard and still being side-eyed. So the line between unintentional and intentional becomes a bit blurry, like they usually have trouble, but they're also willing to be wilfully ignorant on occasion when they can get away with it.

The usual things these guys do is too much eye contact, lingering in silences too long, talking over me a lot, talking in a weird hypnotic-like voice, not noticing signs of disinterest, not really letting me exit the conversation gracefully (I can like inch away indicate interest in something else, explicity say I gotta go, it was nice to meet you, say I'm late to something or a friend is waiting, if they interrupted something I was doing say I gotta get back to work) and they'll basically require me to forcefully shut down the convo. It won't be I say I gtg and we exchange a few more sentences to wrap up what we were saying and say bye, instead they'll continue to talk and talk until I have to be kinda rude and say ok I'm leaving now and just go away in the middle of their sentence or I have to say can you please leave me alone or something. Innocent ones who are just awkward tend to just get confused at this, the ones who're more wilfully doing it tend to get angry and demand explanations for why I'm being like that.

All in all, Idk, I don't use "creep" for someone who's ugly or uninteresting, but I think I use it pretty liberally for socially awkward people. I won't call them more serious names like predator, abuser, or something, but creep encompasses unintentional creepiness for sure.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-10-22T12:28:38+00:00

Anyone male or female who doesn’t respect boundaries or social convention. Women who touch men without permission because they are drunk, pick up artists, old men who flirt with service workers…

blonde___guardian · 2024-10-22T12:59:55+00:00

A person who makes their sexual gratification the center of non-sexual interactions.

There are lots of comments about boundary-crossing here, and I think that's part of it. But someone who, idk, talks over you constantly isn't a creep (although they may be annoying, loud, and entitled) because their whole deal is missing the unpleasant miasma of lust. Meanwhile, someone who calls you "baby" during a work call is 100% creepy, even though the actual transgression is much shorter and more contained than Constant Interruptions Guy.

fluttertutt · 2024-10-22T14:58:27+00:00

Sometimes calling someone creepy can get them to back off after several polite and even firm attempts.

relish5k · 2024-10-22T20:30:51+00:00

creepinesses = (forwardness*awkwardness/attractiveness)^persistence

MissJeje · 2024-10-23T04:40:21+00:00

Creepy is someone who won’t take no for an answer, still tries to initiate contact when it is super obvious I am not interested, says things that make me uncomfortable (eg saying by sexually explicit things when I don’t know them), someone who won’t respect boundaries or personal space, someone who stares at you and won’t stop staring even when they know they were caught. Generally someone js creepy if I feel like them lingering around too long could put me in danger. However someone who is generally just a little awkward but harmless is not someone I’d find creepy.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-10-22T13:14:24+00:00

social awkwardness is literally what makes interacting with someone feel "creepy". here is what you are saying "women, ignore your instincts about socially awkward men because it makes them feel bad". you are demanding women subordinate THEIR perception of being threatened or creeped out because of your feelings. no one owes you this. go to toastmasters or something and learn how not to be socially awkward, its no one else's responsibility to make sure you feel ok

attendquoi · 2024-10-22T13:36:27+00:00

Once upon a time, a guy decided to hit on me:

While I was at work
By telling me he just got out of prison
By insinuating that he has my work schedule memorized

He would then try to follow me to my car at the end of my shift. This went on for several days.

prolixdreams · 2024-10-22T16:27:14+00:00

The way I use it it’s someone who is giving off signals that they may be more likely than average to be unsafe to be around/alone with.

Common behaviors in men specifically that often trigger this conclusion:

Overly sexual or violent speech in mixed & unfamiliar company,
Prolonged staring outside of interaction
Continuing attempts to flirt or get someone alone after either implicit or explicit rejection
Angry or pushy reaction to rejection
Inappropriate approaching (such as when a woman is at work in a service role).

As you can see a lot of this has to do with how a man behaves when he is not immediately allowed to have what he wants. If you are worried about being seen as creepy, as yourself how you come off when disappointed, rejected, or placed in a situation where you can’t proceed in a socially acceptable way?

Anxious_Cicada3234 · 2024-10-22T23:40:52+00:00

People who make people uncomfortable and don’t care. They keep doing what they’re doing even though it’s socially unacceptable or just straight weird. The man I’ve really only thought “Wow, he’s a creep!” was when he bent his neck to get a better look at my crotch and looked for several seconds wide eyed without blinking. Another one was a man who always stayed late at a store I was working at when there was a female cashier and buy like twenty knives. That guy was a creep. I’ve had unattractive men ask me out and I’ve never though of them as creeps.

S0yslut · 2024-10-23T04:46:20+00:00

A creep is some who sexually or non-sexually harasses/assaults someone. Someone who stalks you.

The women itt who think socially awkwardness is creepy just want to be perpetual victims.

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apresonly · 2024-10-22T15:43:02+00:00

A creep is when I suspect there are sinister motivations.

LucidFeverDreams · 2024-10-22T17:32:55+00:00

A creep to me is any guy who I intuitively feel is creepy. Sometimes certain people just have an off vibe and I always listen to my intuition when it comes to that. Aside from just feeling out vibes, there are certain things men do that I would consider creepy. For example ogling my chest or butt as if I’m an object, asking sexual questions when we don’t know eachother well, or being extremely adamant about going to his place for a first date. These things are red flags.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2024-10-22T23:35:26+00:00

Someone that's not attractive, I won't entertain you.

Title	Q4W: What is a creep?
Author	PrimateOfGod
Upvotes	10
Comments	179
Date	October 22, 2024 10:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1g9f1n9/q4w_what_is_a_creep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-is-a-creep.1533033 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533033

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