There's a lot of advice these days about becoming a "high value" man / woman so you can increase your buying power, score the big deal, buy the "complete package" and then that's it... you live happily ever after?

But even within this vulgar capitalist framing of human relationships, there's a flawed assumption. Trophies are timeless, they mainly have sentimental value, so they don't appreciate or depreciate.

This is not the case with people or relationships. Both can and will change. Microsoft stock was once worth nothing. Nokia was once considered "high value." When your kids beget grandkids, you see how the ROI multiplies.

As someone's spouse, you are the most influential person in their life. If 10 years later you decide your spouse is an asshole, it's fair if others ask: what did you do to them? I say if you don't think you can be a positive influence and lead someone in the right direction, don't marry them.

So yeah sure, increase your value to get a solid foundation, this isn't an endorsement of a full-on "fixer-upper" approach. Just recognize that you're getting a foundation, not a complete package. Today's Microsoft could be tomorrow's Nokia or vice versa.