What is your body count?

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-06-03T06:51:50+00:00

31M - Zero. I’ve never had sex. Waiting for the “right” person because I only want to associate with good people. Everyone else can go about their business. I don’t care about what the majority of people are doing.

LittyKitsune · 2020-06-02T23:04:59+00:00

21F, N=0

What does acceptable even mean in this case. For a partner? I prefer as close to 0 as possible.

For people in general I don't really care, regardless of age. If a friend tells me about risky sex practices like going raw or using sex to cope with mental health problems I do worry about them, yes.

NarniaFox · 2020-06-03T01:21:14+00:00

F23, 1.

My husband is my first and only boyfriend. I've never even kissed anyone except him.

octocombo · 2020-06-02T23:34:15+00:00

Mid-twenties F

Idk where different people draw the line for body count so here's a breakdown. I personally consider n count to include oral and penetrative, plus manual if everybody had an orgasm.

Above-the-belt sexual contact or more: 17 people

Manual sex or more: 11 people

Oral sex or more: 10 people

Penetrative sex with me topping (strap-on): 4 people

Penetrative sex with me receiving: 1 person

I don't personally have hard and fast rules about numbers. I do have guidelines for what I find acceptable, assuming the person is also STD-free*, not a rapist, and a person I am attracted to:

zero or one is fine unless it's due to religion, I don't date or hook up with strongly religious people
two to [(age -18)/3 or 2, whichever is larger] is probably fine regardless of context
more than that is fine if at least one was a relationship longer than [(age -18)/2 rounded down or 5, whichever is smaller] years, none were prostitutes, and none were cheating
more could also be fine depending on the particular circumstances but that would be case by case

*unknown or positive STD status is a "no" from me even with condoms, I want a clean test from within the last two months if you've been sexually active in that time, otherwise at least as recent as whenever the last time you had sex was

Silly_Field · 2020-06-03T02:07:55+00:00

I’m nearly 28. Over 10 but under 20.

I’ve only been single for two years total in my twenties, though. I think it would be higher otherwise.

Let’s be real, sleeping with 2-4 people a year is just not that out there.

I’d be a bit on guard if someone my age told me they had slept with 40-50+ people maybe?

It’s not really about the number, though. I would just be vetting to see if they’re sexually compulsive/using sex to deal with emotional issues.

beyond98 · 2020-06-03T14:40:45+00:00

22M, N=0.

I thought this one would be my year, without skyrocketed standards and a better game. But this year seems that Apocalypsis is taking place

GhostTheEternal · 2020-06-03T00:44:20+00:00

M 50's: I'm invoking my rights under the 5th, 6th, and 14th amendments.

As far as "acceptable" I never discuss body count or sexual history with my partners; nothing good ever came out from those talks.

basedmillennial95 · 2020-06-02T23:40:37+00:00

Male

25

0

bythepeartrees · 2020-06-02T23:20:20+00:00

Female, 24, 2

The perfect man would be one who CAN get a high count but maintains a low (1-5) one.

Mulkvistee · 2020-06-03T00:15:14+00:00

32F N=4

I don't care about N counts. Some people like casual sex, some don't it's not that deep imo. Men I dated had a higher n than me, didn't care.

Edit: people are defining what "counts" so: I count everything sexual up to and including piv sex. I knew everyone I dated a long time beforehand either through work or friends so there was no lmr or escalations to nowhere once it was on.

ZestycloseAardvark2 · 2020-06-03T04:05:38+00:00

M 28

Body Count: 0

I've never pursued it, though I have been pursued for it by women.

I rarely, If ever feel like doing it.

I have an extremely low libido

MerryVegetableGarden · 2020-06-03T00:45:27+00:00

F, 29, 1

The only reason why that number would go up is if my husband died and I chose to date afterwards, which I may not.

BSGTJ10 · 2020-06-03T01:19:56+00:00

Male - 33 - 1

I've never been all that motivated by sex personally. Not like I'm asexual or anything, but racking up a higher number has never been something I've cared about. Clicking with someone is alot more important to me, but I find it kinda difficult to relate to alot of people.

If I was interested in someone, I'd prefer they had a body count under 5 or 6 really. Anymore than that and it seems like people have commitment issues or too much baggage often times.

Zippo-Cat · 2020-06-03T05:47:46+00:00

I have one body

Reisiluu · 2020-06-03T08:47:38+00:00

28F, 1

Anything is acceptable. I just won't date a person if I don't like what kind of choices they have made.

acron5n5 · 2020-06-03T12:10:42+00:00

M 27, zer0

InfidelCastro11 · 2020-06-03T18:04:33+00:00

21 and 0. There were at most 3 times where I probably could have gotten laid, but they were gross, untrustworthy people. One seemed malicious

Cucharamama · 2020-06-02T23:42:05+00:00

23 female 0

CosmicBioHazard · 2020-06-03T00:18:22+00:00

M26

1

From a marriage that suffered from abandonment.

I really wish it was 0. I couldn’t bear to be in a relationship while missing that extra appreciation you’d have to have for a woman because she’s the first and only. All or nothing for me. Well, just nothing, now, I guess.

HOLYREGIME · 2020-06-02T22:59:58+00:00

Male - 23 - 8

A few things. I passed on some girls in HS because I believed in “no sex until marriage” yes, I’m an idiot. You’ll never believe me but it included a threesome.

I refuse to have sex with women below my looks match (6). I’m tired of guys having to lower their standards just to get some. I know guys who have body counts of 30+ but there are so many duds in there. Women I just couldn’t sleep with personally.

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-06-02T22:52:26+00:00

f / 28 / 13

Anything is acceptable, I'm more concerned about the how's.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-06-03T04:36:01+00:00

They say that poor unemployed people have more sex than anyone. They have the time for it and are prone to having bad, short relations with people, having risky sexual behavior, using sex as a coping mechanism. Leading to a lot of baby-daddies.

Poor, broke people tend to not be Chads and Stacys.

I think N count has a lot to do with culture-location-economics. Not just attractiveness level. Ugly people fuck a lot. Attractive people have more options to select quality partners, therefore, on a case to case basis, may have a lower N count rather than high.

Male, age 38, N=7.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-06-03T06:32:32+00:00

Like 50 or so I don’t really count anymore

I sure don’t remember all of them. 20 or so that I have real memories with

whichbladeN · 2020-06-03T18:35:01+00:00

24F N =1

I bet that explains my comments for a lot of people.

gaylord_fag · 2020-06-03T02:44:43+00:00

F, 31, 33.

nineworldseries · 2020-06-02T23:08:01+00:00

Male, 41, ~75

SherbertBacon · 2020-06-02T23:19:23+00:00

29M, only been single 4 years of my teenage + adult life, and even while just looking for LTRs for the most part, I'm definitely over 10 (rather not give exact numbers). Most women I've dated (mid-twenties to early thirties) are also above 10 (attractiveness is not a good predictor of this either), but usually a little lower than me in count.

what you think is a number that is acceptable for various age ranges?

"Acceptable" doesn't really factor into it. Although I typically feel most comfortable with someone hovering around my count or lower. It really depends on circumstances. I feel like a count above 40-50 in my age range would be a yellow flag, but that's just me because I'm not really the hookup type.

moosemoosecaribou · 2020-06-02T23:22:30+00:00

Female, 26, 1

Was a virgin until LTR of 4 years (and counting). Not for moral reasons, just never found anyone of interest until then.

Any number is fine as long as it’s safe and respectful (to your partners AND yourself).

learn2earn89 · 2020-06-03T02:32:11+00:00

N=0, age 30, Female

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2020-06-03T10:15:25+00:00

Mid 30s M, somewhere north of 100 but probably south of 200.

I don't disclose these types of things nor do I want to know.

Skycat9 · 2020-06-03T14:56:36+00:00

M 36, 140-160

Think I was 20 when I lost my virginity. By age 27 I’d slept with 3 people, sometimes not having any sex at all for years between relationships. I was really useless with girls during this time.

Then I moved abroad and discovered mdma. This really changed everything. All my social awkwardness disappeared, and this enabled me to sample the slutty lifestyle Id always craved. It lasted for a couple of years before suddenly getting really boring. I have a great girlfriend now and not even looking at other options

TheGirlGetter9000 · 2020-06-03T13:09:53+00:00

Male, 22, my body count is somewhere 20-25 (I don't count it). Could be higher but I turn lots of women down below my standards and haven't pursued sex in a while (LTR)

I have no comment on what I consider acceptable for women outside the ones I pursue as I haven't thought about it nearly as much, but:

ONS: don't care

Plate: don't care

FWB: don't care

LTR who's 18-20ish: 3 or below

LTR who's 21-23ish: 6 or below

They aren't 'hard-line' standards, meaning if someone is 20 and fucked 4 guys... well we have to take a look at how that count got created. But the further you get from those standards the more difficult it'll be, and anything in double-digits will probably get written off entirely

eveleaf · 2020-06-03T13:35:34+00:00

43F, N=2.

Just husband one (10y marriage) and husband two (11y so far, going strong with this one).

I'm not interested in casual sex at all, so automatically men who expect that would be a no-go-zone for me. If something tragic happened and I found myself in the dating pool again, I'm sure I'd prefer low counts to high. My current husband was an adult virgin, and that has worked out amazingly. I don't really "get" the appeal of high count men. It just tells me we are probably running in very different circles, looking for different things.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-06-03T17:09:50+00:00

39M, around 40, and I don't ask a body count b/c I don't wanna be asked a body count. This is the stupidest question a guy can ask, imo. Or one of them anyway.

Salty-Bastard · 2020-06-03T04:28:12+00:00

75ish but I'm an old fuck.

Ass-a-holic · 2020-06-03T06:28:52+00:00

33M, N=55+

I was a "Chad-lite" from 20-25 and got about 15-20 notches, from 4-6s to an occasional 8. Went on a dry spell from 26-28 where I only banged 2 girls, focused on getting my finances in gear. Than from 29-33 with my finances in line I explored the escort market and haven't looked back.

Never actually had a girlfriend and don't really have the desire to get one, I'm only in it for the sex

Since going the escort route my "relationships" with women are non-existent outside of basic work convos and family, I find their energy to be very negative

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2020-06-02T23:39:56+00:00

Female, soon to be 34, six notches. All but one within a committed relationship.

arjay8 · 2020-06-03T05:58:05+00:00

male, 30. 5 partners total. spent 10 of 12 years married for 6, and then dating and engaged for the other 4. single now... lol. As far as numbers? probably around mine or lower.

Willow-girl · 2020-06-03T12:22:45+00:00

Hell if I know!

usa_foot_print · 2020-06-03T12:50:26+00:00

32M, N=1

honestly that should be expected and acceptable, yet for some reason it’s not to many.

Why should it be seem acceptable? Why should I find it acceptable that I date someone who partakes in casual sex?

AchromaticFade · 2020-06-03T13:25:36+00:00

CatchPhraze · 2020-06-03T13:39:21+00:00

F

25-29

2m/1f = 3 or 2 because most men "don't think other women" count?!?

Anything is acceptable if it's acceptable to you. This is a question of preference and not moral superiority.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-06-04T01:28:10+00:00

I have never kept count so irdk

DubsPackage · 2020-06-04T14:59:35+00:00

M 40's

3 partners

N < 10

Skycat9 · 2020-06-04T15:24:28+00:00

SDW137 · 2020-06-04T15:35:04+00:00

24 M, N = 4

I have never been in a relationship and lost my virginity when I was 21.

2020-06-04T20:29:25+00:00

F, 30, 3 (including current partner).

I didn't have sex until my mid 20s, only ever with committed/exclusive partners. My partner was pretty shocked that I was at 2 when we met, especially because I'm conventionally attractive... but I was actually planning to stay at 0 until marriage, but around 25/26 that changed (it was a real decision I made). I do sometimes wish it was still 0, but at the same time, not really. Sex isn't everything, it doesn't define someone, and I'm still within my comfort zone (though again, wish it was 0). My partner has had a fair few more partners and always looks down on himself for it, which is sad but I can't blame him. We both have values that entail having fewer partners, but I'm not going to make him feel bad about it.

bionix90 · 2020-06-05T03:54:12+00:00

29M. I have been ridiculed over it, even though I thought it was a pretty normal number for someone my age. It has left me mentally scarred and I have decided that I shall never share my number with a living soul for as long as I shall live.

gainzgirl · 2020-06-05T04:57:07+00:00

26F triple digits. It was fun and discreet, I'm happily married now. Never gave him a number, true or not, to obsess over. He gets off daily and puts effort into keeping me interested. Neither of us let ourselves go after marriage. Low N women I know were proud of it, married young, and most have cheated/divorced. Or are unattractive. Low N men I know are serial monogamists or have trouble with women.

ForevaBubbles · 2020-06-05T07:12:39+00:00

29F - 14

Most I only dated for a month or two before I broke up with them due to incompatibilities I didn't find out until later. Had 3 long term relationships out of it. My current boyfriend I've been with for 1 year now and it's still awesome, we're very happy.

It never mattered to me what people say their body count is, I look for other types of red flags like our values being different. My boyfriend told me in the beginning that he was inexperienced and only had sex a few times, I was totally cool with it. We actually have the best sex I've ever had, he's great :)

frecklemoon_ · 2020-06-05T10:13:46+00:00

F22, Body count 40+, been in a 5.5years LTR

i dont think there should be an „average“ number for a specific age, just do what you’re comfortable with doing and you’re good to go imo :)

DisposedAtBirth · 2020-06-06T05:32:10+00:00

26M, body count of 26.

angry_ogunsoto · 2020-06-06T21:04:55+00:00

22M N=0

turtlebox1 · 2020-06-09T09:28:23+00:00

Hes my "right" person. We fought for a long time against the world and each other to realize we were right. It took lots of work.

frightkat · 2020-06-10T04:09:15+00:00

24F N=4

Most people will date around in their 20’s and it’s normal to sleep with the people you’re dating. I don’t like the idea that I should settle just so that my number won’t go up. And I think most guys worth dating won’t even ask what my number is, it’s not worth talking about.

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noNooodleArms · 2020-06-02T23:17:24+00:00

[deleted]

JohnNoomer · 2020-06-02T22:54:04+00:00

Male

24

7 lmao

YasuotheChosenOne · 2020-06-03T03:18:44+00:00

M / 29 / +125 (stopped tracking after high school).

Oh, I like low n girls (<10).

bosswiththecross · 2020-06-03T05:48:42+00:00

I've lost count. I'm a late bloomer and turned down a lot of sex in my life and I'm very selective in general.

My number is definitely over 40, to what extent I'm not sure, would have to comb through my memory. I've had 20+ different women in a month in the past and if I wanted I could sleep with a different woman every night and I have, but sex isn't everything.

30m

reluctantly_red · 2020-06-03T14:22:39+00:00

55M; N=64 (unless I've forgotten someone -- one's memory starts to go when you get old).

Women don't seem to have any real problem with this. They may make jokes but that's all.

gingabriska · 2020-06-03T18:06:26+00:00

M25, serious count: 4, hookups/prostitutes/escorts: 90

If you want to bump your count as a single man who makes west European wage - head over the former Soviet Stan countries and you'll rake up count like no tomorrow and you don't have to be attractive to do that

stephker3914 · 2020-06-02T23:44:50+00:00

21 male, 9.

LemonOne9 · 2020-06-03T00:47:05+00:00

Male - 34 y/o - 40

OXOzymandias · 2020-06-03T02:51:35+00:00

22M N=8

I didnt do anything up until I was 20 and then i understood after my first lay that i was a big fat dummy for waiting that long, it was great, and i went in a cold killing spree and had 4 notch lol.

However today i feel so much less motivated to do it, i have no idea why, i want to be in a relationship i guess, just right now i left the party i was invited, because trying to hookup is so tiring, ngl i need a few months not trying anything i think, it has been 2 years since i lost it and so far it is the worst one, only one lay so far with a coworker.

For my age range, anything is cool, there is other red flags i am looking for when i am trying to date, well ncount doesnt even factor tbh.

2020-06-03T03:04:28+00:00

24M, N=4

Turned down several sure things in high school because of religion. Been out of the game about a year and a half right now, looking to get back into it soon-ish.

I've always prefered partners with a similar count to mine, when I was a virgin I sought out a virgin, now I'm open to partners with less than 10. I think people with really high counts are fine people, good for them, but I'm not interested in them as romantic prospects. I think it also makes a difference how many of your count are relationships vs hookups. I'm at 2 relationships 2 hookups. I was talking to a girl several months ago whose count was 9 and they were all in the same 6 week period. 9 isn't too high of a count for me, but going on a tear with a bunch of randoms is gross to me.

cloudydays84 · 2020-06-03T03:37:46+00:00

21, male, 6 people

I personally don't see why a person of either gender has to be so strung up on n-count it's not really a burning question for me to know how many people a person has slept with, and if I know it doesn't really change much if it's big or small, I will say that I have reservations about sleeping with virgins but it's not ironclad.

Only-Eagle · 2020-06-03T04:17:44+00:00

M33, ~25-30, don't know the exact number. And been in an LTR since 25 so the majority would have been during my 18-24 yrs.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-06-03T04:33:39+00:00

35M=15.

A bit too high for me.

<10 would be ideal.

bosswiththecross · 2020-06-03T05:08:13+00:00

22 y/o F, 4 bodies. Mine is low because I used to be religious and want to wait til marriage. I lost my virginity at 20 and when I was 21 I got into a relationship for a while.

I think that anything is acceptable! I don't really care about anyone's body count

nemma88 · 2020-06-03T07:49:15+00:00

F32, 6.

I havnt really thought about acceptable. I believe my previous partners were between 0-10, the 10 is a guess on a teenage relationship with a high extrovert, and others were intros like me and were lower. My partners count is the same as mine.

noNooodleArms · 2020-06-03T19:51:51+00:00

47M N ~ 30? Haven't fucked anyone over 40 since I was a teenager.

What's unacceptable is that I haven't indexed since 2012. If I don't index by 3-5 younger cuties by the end of the summer, I'm turning in my man card.

This summer is lining up excellently for me.

EarthFathers · 2020-06-03T21:43:48+00:00

23F N=2 I have virtually no interest in sex or relationships.

DebatePony · 2020-06-03T16:27:07+00:00

32F, N=1.

But my husband and I started dating at 14, married by 22 and never broke up during that time. So we are each other's one and only.

EDIT: LOL at all the buttmad people downvoting.

paint-the-world-red · 2020-06-03T02:09:04+00:00

23M, 11 confirmed kills

As for my limits, I expect a woman my age to have a similar count, if not higher. I’m more focused on other red flags.

GennyX · 2020-06-03T02:10:38+00:00

I choose not to share that information.

I don’t think it’s highly unlikely for someone attractive in their 20s and 30s to have a count below ten. Not at all.

I’m 46 and a woman. I think the number a person is happy with (for themselves) is an acceptable number.

This topic raises a question from me: how are we defining what counts? For me, what counts is any sexual encounter between two people (or more, I suppose, not that I’ve ever experienced that personally) that was consensual and resulted in both (or all?) parties having an orgasm from the experience. So, for me, that includes any sexual experience, which may or may not include PIV sex. It doesn’t include rape. It doesn’t include unenjoyable sex.

Edited to add: the sexual history I care about with my partner is: have they ever cheated? Had stis? Was the sti because their partner cheated, or because they were careless? Do they have any stis now? Have they ever raped someone? Do they respect consent? Also, I would never date someone who had used prostitutes.

iamsojellyofu · 2020-06-03T04:49:50+00:00

21F and my body count is 0. I'm such a "loser" lol

SpyPuts6969 · 2020-06-03T16:10:00+00:00

M 25

5

0 before the age of 21. I've always been against hookup culture, so all but one (that I regret deeply) were within a relationship.

flowerwoven · 2020-06-03T02:13:38+00:00

You're listening to pop culture way too much. Attractive people have a significantly lower body count than average or unattractive people.

F, 21, 0

One person for life is the only acceptable answer.

2020-06-03T16:26:21+00:00

24F, N=7 Most of them from my teen years. I was severely depressed at ages 19-22 so I wasn't having sex at that time.

socuteyoupunchit · 2020-06-03T17:28:12+00:00

27F - 8

All I had ever learnt about sex before I started it at 20 was how it works, and how not to get pregnant. I received no moral instruction and never learnt about what virginity was (other than it was the word for someone who had not yet had sex) or why it might matter. I was in my early- mid twenties before I talked to anyone about it (All girls school, no male friends, few female friends, very shy). I guess I'm sort of old now but I'm still figuring out how dating works. I think that numbers don't matter, but I will pry a lot more into mens views on sex and women because I was pretty naive until recently and thought most people were good and respectful. There's a big difference to me to a free-love hippy kind of man with a high n count and a man who manipulates, lies, and targets vulnerable people with a high n count.

Title	What is your body count?
Author	towmitdals
Upvotes	5
Comments	195
Date	June 2, 2020 10:29 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gvhg4k/what_is_your_body_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-body-count.671547 https://theredarchive.com/post/671547

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