What would be the downsides if men believed that women are barely capable of romantic love?

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-09-01T02:10:51+00:00

You would see women as subhuman if you think they are incapable of romantic love.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-09-01T02:53:24+00:00

If a man were to hold such belief, probably first of all it'd be hard for him to get into a relationship, and even if they got into a relationship, he'll end up being paranoid and distrustful at every corner about whether if she really loves him. Which obviously is an unfair circumstance if the said woman actually loves him, because why the fuck would you be in a relationship in the first place, and generally spells for a dysfunctional relationship.

MistyMaisel · 2024-09-01T02:25:06+00:00

Is being woefully wrong a downside in your world, cuz it is in mine.

President-Togekiss · 2024-09-01T11:17:03+00:00

How would you square up this hypothesis with the popularity of romance novels and series amongst the female population? It feels counter intuitive that women can be barely capable of romantic love at the same time as being the main consumers of fiction revolving around the topic.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-09-01T02:01:25+00:00

No downsides unless you happen to be one of those weirdos who thinks trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

Also - historically - thinking that actual human beings aren't capable of having the same depth and complexity of feelings as you do has had some pretty noteworthy consequences, but some people don't necessarily think that's a downside nowadays so 🤷🏿 It's pretty integral to the process of dehumanizing people though.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-09-01T03:00:01+00:00

50% of the population would be living in a delusion. If you want to believe women are incapable of romantic love I suppose that’s your choice, but it’s demonstrably false

Warm_Gur8832 · 2024-09-01T11:43:25+00:00

Men would instead put their efforts towards things that are even less attainable and way more cruel to them, like the economy for example.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-09-02T13:59:20+00:00

What do you mean by "romantic love" exactly?

Because from my understanding of the subject, "romantic love" is really just a combination of "like" and "lust" (or affection + desire or whatever you want to call it).

In and of itself, this doesn't imply perfect loyalty/fidelity or that it is unconditional or that it is exclusive to one person.

And honestly, do even MEN feel romantic love in that way? This absolute pure shining near-divine-revelation that the object of such love is "the one" whom they will scale Mt Everest for? A love that, in the absense of social penalties, will prevent any cheating and will endure forever even if she loses her appearance?

Pola_Lita · 2024-09-01T04:22:42+00:00

What would be the downsides if men believed that women are barely capable of romantic love?

Too many to count. Because no matter the "good" misunderstandings, there's bound to be 100x more seriously bad misunderstandings between the sexes, let alone the mountain of supposedly justified hostility and aggression. Being delusional about 1/2 the population around you is never going to be a good thing.

No more awkward feelings caught for your female friends (because why the Hell would you ever catch feelings for someone who you believe is incapable to reciprocate them)

How many instances would you imagine there have been in the last year alone where one person has fallen in love with someone they know will never love them back?

...no more misread indicators of interest ("is she smiling because she is in a good mood or flirting?" - she is not flirting; case closed)

Flirting is equally if not more commonly used in cases of sexual rather than romantic attraction.

...no more romantic advancements misinterpreted/misreported as sexual harrassment (because why would you "advance romantically" on someone who you believe can't have romantic feelings back).

This doesn't make sense because truly, why would you? If it's accepted that the harasser doesn't see his victim as capable of romance, that would pretty much settle the case for sexual harassment. As opposed to misinterpreted expressions of "true love."

shockingly_bored · 2024-09-01T06:40:09+00:00

The problem is that women are absolutely capable of romantic love, but that romantic love is something that women will only have for a small proportion of men. And what men need to wake up to is that we are better off recognising that we are not going to ever be recipients of that romantic love from women, but that women are 100% capable of it.

SlashCo80 · 2024-09-01T05:55:13+00:00

If that were the case, why look for a relationship at all? Just to have an easily available sexual partner? I guess that could work, gay dudes are apparently pretty happy. You'd miss the depth of an emotional connection, but it's fine if you were never looking for that in the first place.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-09-01T03:34:26+00:00

What would be the downsides?

None. Men’s lives would be better because they would stop having hope that continually gets crushed and incrementally dulls their sense of worth and women’s lives would be better because men would finally stop pestering and pursuing them.

cookietoffeee · 2024-09-01T12:38:25+00:00

The definition of love for women is actually "you're useful to me right now, so I'll stick around until I get bored", they're not capable of empathy or love they only care about themselves.

bluestjuice · 2024-09-01T21:42:21+00:00

Personally, I just hate being wrong.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-09-01T04:48:40+00:00

It’s othering and alienating. Women are humans. Capable of the full spectrum of human emotions, same as men. There are psychos and assholes of all genders, those aren’t gender specific traits.

ListPlenty6014 · 2024-09-01T13:41:31+00:00

You wrote it in a way that would make Reddit women angry. But many men operate this way post MeToo movement and don’t assume a woman is interested due to subtle signs until she explicitly conveys interest . It’s risk management. Also a lot of married men follow the Pence rule. The downsides are missing out on potential connections by purposefully ignoring vague signs of interest. But as a man you got to be careful.

bluehorserunning · 2024-09-01T05:10:38+00:00

Downside is that you’d be distancing yourself from reality, but hey. You do you.

NSFW_Omnisexual · 2024-09-01T02:55:42+00:00

The world would be uglier and more mundane. If men believe women can't love them, some of their loves would diminish in return. Many endeavors, from art and architecture to science and medicine, to serving in a military stem indirectly from love. Self-sacrifice would go out the window, everything would require calculation, every relationship would essentially be a business relationship, with things like marriages and children being commodified.

Ripley_Riley · 2024-09-01T02:00:51+00:00

You know, I started to think of disadvantages but nothing comes to mind...

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-09-02T07:36:23+00:00

Nothing

MaleficentFig7578 · 2024-09-02T13:36:32+00:00

Men would kill themselvse.

EugeneCezanne · 2024-09-03T00:31:42+00:00

(because why the Hell would you ever catch feelings for someone who

Feelings aren't logical. They are inherently pre-intellectual experiences.

("is she smiling because she is in a good mood or flirting?" - she is not flirting; case closed)

"Are you flirting?" works too.

(because why would you "advance romantically" on someone who you believe can't have romantic feelings back)

Sex.

SaBahRub · 2024-09-01T06:53:36+00:00

Failing to offer women what they want, which is romantic love, presumably resulting in failed relationships

President-Togekiss · 2024-09-01T11:43:01+00:00

Also, and this is just a curiosity of mine, would this mean that gay relationships between two men are, by this metric, more loving than straight relationships?

MarjieJ98354 · 2024-09-01T17:22:37+00:00

It basically means more women for the men that take pleasure in pursuing women, Lol! It's not like women that don't pursue men are missing out on anything already. If men were a pleasure to deal with, we'd be dealing with them and do deal with men that are pleasant. I'll talk to anyone that's pleasant; and totally ignore the mean muggers!!

januaryphilosopher · 2024-09-01T06:45:52+00:00

There are huge downsides associated with one large and more powerful group seeing another large and less powerful group as less capable of human emotion to some extent. Dehumanising someone is the first step to hurting them.

systematicdissonance · 2024-09-01T02:35:37+00:00

Sorry I think you're mixing up men and women. It's men who are incapable of romantic love in any and every context

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thedarkracer · 2024-09-01T03:25:38+00:00

I already feel that. Now

No more awkward feelings caught for your female friends (because why the Hell would you ever catch feelings for someone

Check, this is true.

no more misread indicators of interest ("is she smiling because she is in a good mood or flirting?" - she is not flirting; case closed),

Yeah also true, another advantage I won't be seen as a creep, I just say she is being nice.

no more romantic advancements misinterpreted/misreported as sexual harrassment (because why would you "advance romantically" on someone who you believe can't have romantic feelings back).

True. That's also one of the pushing factor.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-09-01T08:17:12+00:00

Good then maybe, they would leave women alone. Anyone who feels things like this should just be in a corner and leave people alone.

All of these made up stories about how to protect yourself from other made up scenarios is just a way to perpetuate more failings.

It’s the human experience. No one is guaranteed to get out of here without experiencing heartache or pain or sadness. So if you have issues with it and want to create a bubble wrapped life where you put nothing on the line and plan for every eventuality then just leave people alone.

Date yourself, you will never disappoint yourself. You will never be crushed under unrealized expectations. You will never have to worry about someone’s motives. You will solely be in control of your emotions for the rest of your life.

Title	What would be the downsides if men believed that women are barely capable of romantic love?
Author	abaxeron
Upvotes	19
Comments	257
Date	August 31, 2024 9:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1f5xnc2/what_would_be_the_downsides_if_men_believed_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-would-be-the-downsides-if-men-believed-that.1529028 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529028

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