When is a man too picky or superficial?

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-05-06T22:55:02+00:00

No line. Be as picky as you want. Men need to be way pickier. They have dirt standards.

rosephase · 2026-05-06T22:42:27+00:00

I don't know any men whose dating issues were around being "to picky". Even my dear friend who was casually sleeping with a bunch of women while wanting a relationship and not finding one, eventually found a woman he wanted to build a relationship with. So just the correct amount of picky.

Mostly it seems like men have the issue that a lot of women have. Which is not picky enough. Allowing for shit treatment. Stumbling along in a relationship that they just aren't that excited about because they want to be in a relationship more then they want to be with this particular person.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2026-05-06T22:47:05+00:00

I don’t think there’s a line. It’s a valid option to choose to be single, whether they see it as an actual choice or not.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2026-05-06T22:54:59+00:00

The limit does not exist

cb8585b · 2026-05-06T23:33:08+00:00

If you’re content being single be as picky as you like.

Pnina310 · 2026-05-07T00:52:47+00:00

Too picky/superficial is when their preferences are so specific and contradictory that the person they want becomes obsolete.

Eg. A super hot virgin who is enthusiastic during sex with me but somehow never acted on sexual enthusiasm with anyone else cause I’m just that special. Also despite her needing to be super hot, she can’t want to be with a 6’0 chad. She can’t expect me to pay for the dates but she also has to be a trad-wife.

blebbyroo · 2026-05-06T22:38:37+00:00

Be as picky as you want but don’t complain you aren’t getting any options, and if you do complain certainly don’t bad mouth or name call the people who aren’t meeting your standards - be respectful to people, you don’t need to date them but you shouldn’t degrade them either.

Alarmed-Toe9423 · 2026-05-06T22:39:53+00:00

Well your free to be picky, no one has forced a man to marry an old hag the same way men have done to women for centuries.

ThatBitchA · 2026-05-06T23:00:01+00:00

I don't think men are picky enough.

When a man says, "she must be hot and chill", that tells me he's superficial.

When a man says, "I don't care about her job, degrees, interests, etc", that tells me he's superficial.

Afraid_Fondant_7903 · 2026-05-07T00:13:57+00:00

Any preference on appearance and height is superficial. That being said there is no such thing as too picky and men should be as picky as they want to be as long as they understand it also limits their choice.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-05-06T23:08:43+00:00

Why does this smell like bait? Are you looking to justify why women should settle or why men should be allowed to tell women to lower their standards? 😒

To answer your question let men have whatever standards they want as long as they are happier being single over settling.

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-05-06T22:40:26+00:00

No such line for me. I don’t get bent out of shape if someone I know is struggling to find a partner. It’s their life..not mine.

GroundbreakingAlps78 · 2026-05-06T23:17:42+00:00

I think anyone, male or female, is too “picky” if they expect their partner to be perfect, and too superficial if they ignore/overlook major compatibility factors such as shared values, interests, humor, etc.

Tylikcat · 2026-05-07T03:24:41+00:00

It's not the being picky, it's the whining.

Well, and the making generally misogynistic comments. But that's about my standards!

sablesalsa · 2026-05-07T03:53:38+00:00

I don't think I'd describe any personal dating standards as too picky as long as he understands that the more requirements he has for a partner, the smaller his pool will get. He can be as unrealistic as he wants as long as he doesn't take negative emotions out on others. His life, not mine.

operation-spot · 2026-05-06T22:42:24+00:00

If a man is not a chad and his preferences are the same as a chad hus standards are too high. This includes body size and body count.

AutoModerator · 2026-05-06T22:35:45+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-05-06T23:16:04+00:00

Well it’s his life, his standards, and I’m not going to tell someone else what those should be.

Now, if he just wants honesty on if I think he WILL find someone who meets his standards, I would compare what he has to offer to what he is asking for, and ask how his luck is going so far. There’s no one “line” where it’s too much because it’s relative to what he’s working with, where he lives, what sort of women he has the opportunity to meet. But ultimately, time will tell.

pie-mart · 2026-05-07T01:32:23+00:00

Imo men need to pay more attention to personality. They end up with women who are bitches or women they don't actually like just cuz she is hot.

love_in_october · 2026-05-07T05:42:08+00:00

They can be as picky as they want. If they'd prefer to stay single rather than date someone with a certain characteristic I don't care.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-05-07T08:23:46+00:00

You either find someone attractive or you don't. Be as picky as you want. You only want blonde, you want everything but blonde, you don't want fat, you want tall, short, a fellow paleontologist who also is a redhead and really enjoys riding a monocycle in her free time while wearing a bowler hat and a fake moustache - preferences are perfectly fine to have.

If someone has unrealistic expectations pertaining to attraction (you know, the kind of person who expects fireworks on the first date/love at first sight and the like), looks (super slim women with zero body hair anywhere ever, men with perfect six packs etc) or financial status (wanting a millionaire if you're typical middle class), I sure will think they are unrealistic. It's not for me to comment on, unless I really care about the person and their happiness. Unrealistic expectations are a sign the person isn't ready for a relationship anyways so why bother.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-05-07T10:20:27+00:00

A man is too picky or superficial when he is unhappy being single and still has highly specific standards. If you’re happy being alone and content to live that way until you meet the right person, then be as picky as you want.

YveisGrey · 2026-05-07T00:36:19+00:00

I don’t think most men are too picky I think they have unrealistic expectations.

Like expecting to be able to sleep around with young beautiful women.

This expectation can make them feel jilted if it doesn’t happen and be focused on the wrong thing and the wrong type of women.

toad-wrangler · 2026-05-07T01:01:49+00:00

I don't have a line that people can cross and be "too picky" in my mind. I do, however, have a line that people can cross and be too annoying to me. And people who are picky and complain frequently often cross the "too annoying" line.

But I don't have an opinion on their pickiness. I don't care if people are picky or not.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-05-07T01:27:53+00:00

I like that you used picky and superficial.

I don't think you can be too picky. Dating is important can heavily impact your life so be picky.

Now superficial you can be too superficial. But I think that has to do more with pursuing superficial traits rather than not accepting superficial flaws.

Like if u have no interest in your partner but still pursue them that's too superficial.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-05-07T04:44:00+00:00

I think any artificial standards are wrong for men and women too. All you need is to be attracted to them and basically compatible. You don't get attracted to their job or title or money. For me it's about attraction, not standards.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-05-07T14:07:46+00:00

Anyone, male or female, is too picky when they want things but their own standards stop them from getting them

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-05-07T16:19:43+00:00

Please be pickier. I beg of you. Hold out for compatible ppl. Stop settling like you're a silly teen and it's the week before prom. This is real life. Respect yourselves.

When is he too superficial? When he doesn't know who she is and doesn't care. The husbands who say they "don't know what to get her," bc they have no clue what her interests are. The guys who have no idea what her values and goals are, and think it's fine, bc they're there for the boobs, not the woman.

If you're gonna do that, be up-front so she can choose whether to give consent for that arrangement. I wouldn't. I don't like being disposable. But that's just me. Ymmv

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-05-07T00:49:49+00:00

Men (all people) should have whatever standards and preferences they want 🤷‍♀️.

How is that anyone else’s business?

They will either find what they want or not. If they can’t find the person they want who also wants them, they have a few choices:

Keep looking.

Improve themselves to be more appealing to the people they want.

Adjust their standards and preferences to better align with the people who do seem interested.

Find happiness in being single while open to opportunity.

Whine, get bitter and angry and even more unappealing. Post complaints on the internet. Die alone and miserable.

Choose your own adventure!

Sure, your friends or family may get tired of listening to whining but that about the whining itself.

When it becomes other people’s problem is when you start blaming other people for not conforming to your standards or preferences or blaming those who do for having standards and preferences of their own that exclude you.

Title	When is a man too picky or superficial?
Author	psych0ticmonk
Upvotes	3
Comments	150
Date	May 6, 2026 10:35 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1t5s9s6/when_is_a_man_too_picky_or_superficial/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-is-a-man-too-picky-or-superficial.1579763 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579763

Comments